What Enneagram Should a Type 3 Marry?

Enneagram Type 3s might seem like they’re all about business, but they also desire an intense and loving relationship. As one of the three heart types of the Enneagram system, The Achiever has a strong connection to the emotions of others and easily recognizes how someone is feeling. However, when it comes to examining their own feelings, Type 3s have a hard time. So with their tough exterior and on-the-go lifestyle, what Enneagram should a 3 marry?

Their fear of vulnerability and fierce drive to achieve makes it difficult for Type 3s to allow themselves to open up. But once a Type 3 feels comfortable and supported, they’re loyal and willing to adapt when necessary. Although there are a few good matches for Type 3, one match seems to have a better success rate.

What Enneagram should a 3 marry? Here’s why Type 9 is a successful pair-up 

Although you may wonder why a Type 9 Peacemaker is the best spouse for a Type 3, the pair’s balanced traits will quell your doubts.

Type 9’s core fear and motivation make them more agreeable and understanding

Type 9’s core fear and motivations make them agreeable partners who strive to please and understand and support their significant other’s pursuits. Since they fear being too needy and pushing others away due to their desire for closeness, Type 9s make themselves as agreeable as possible. Their primary motivation is to maintain harmony in their environment and avoid conflict where possible. 

This harmonious desire means Enneagram Type 9s will accept Type 3s as they are—faults and all. But they’ll also encourage their partner to be more open about their feelings and to strive to be a better communicator. 

Type 9s share similar interests with Type 3s   

An over-achiever seems opposite to a peaceful harmony-seeker, but the balance between them, when the pair nurtures a healthy relationship, is enviable. This includes their particular interests. Type 3s and Type 9s both share a love for the comfortable, the artistic, and aestheticism. They enjoy the finer things in life, including good food, company, culture, style, and the arts. Because they bond over life’s pleasures, it’s easy for them to both take a minute to enjoy these things—even if the workaholic Type 3 still has their mind on their latest project.

Type 3s and 9s can make good partners in work

Whether a Type 3 has met their Type 9 in the workplace or not, Type 9s can make an excellent asset to a Type 3’s career. This may be through moral support or conceptual work and advice. If Type 9 sees some fun in the work that Type 3 does for a living, they’ll feel inclined to offer their assistance in whatever way possible.

When working together, Type 3 and Type 9 make an efficient, quick team that easily conceptualizes and realizes their goals in record time. 

They can help each other communicate better

The communication skills of Type 3 and Type 9 differ, but when living as life partners, both Enneagram types can learn something about communication. 

A Type 3 needs to learn to be more vulnerable in a relationship, and a Type 9 is quick to assist their loved one in learning to open up. Meanwhile, Type 9 could use help to better express their desires and needs. Because Type 9s focus on pleasing others, they often neglect their needs. A Type 3 spouse will see when their partner is run down and needs some me time. 

Because both Type 3s and Type 9s neglect their personal needs, they can enjoy relaxing together on vacation, weekend trips, or even spa days.

Benefits of Type 3 and Type 9 marriage 

• Both can increase the other’s communication skills.
• Type 3 receives the acceptance they crave.
• Type 9 grows as a more self-actualized person when Type 3 points out their negligence of self-care.
• Both types enjoy adventures and relaxing together.
• Types 3 and 9 may also reap the benefits of collaborating on work projects.
• Type 3 can blossom in their career because Type 9 supports their goals and understands the need to prioritize work.
• Type 9’s infectious affection style makes both partners more open to giving and receiving love.

Challenges of Type 3 and Type 9 marriage 

• If Type 9 is feeling too neglected, they might be passive aggressive toward their Type 3 partner.
• A very stubborn Type 3 might not know how to relax when it’s time to step away from work.
• Type 3 may be reluctant to be vulnerable and open about their emotions.
• Type 9s may avoid conflict and ignore important conversations.
• Type 3 might put too much importance on their level of success at work and at home, leaving them masking their true self.
• Type 9s may neglect to care for themselves in their goal to keep their partner happy.

What other Enneagram types make a good spouse for Type 3?

Type 3s, like any other Enneagram personality type, can have a successful relationship with any type—as long as both people commit themselves to communicating and bettering their understanding of each other. 

However, specific Enneagram types do well with Type 3. In addition to Type 9, Type 3 also pairs well with Enneagram Type 2s and Type 8s. 

The Type 2 and Type 3 couple

Because Type 2s and 3s are both heart types, it’s easy for these two personalities to bond over emotions and matters of the heart. A Type 2 is The Giver of the Enneagram system, who seeks to please those around them by giving of themselves to feel loved. Because of the 2s giving nature, a Type 3 will feel the support they crave. Both partners will bond over their ability to team up on projects and showcase their love to the world.

The Type 3 and Type 8 couple

The Type 8 Challenger will spend time making their Type 3 partner feel respected and cared for. Both types are more about work and less about emotions when paired together, but Type 8 and Type 3 are a dynamo powerhouse couple that still makes room for romance where necessary. While Type 3 feels the power of support, Type 8 will open up and become more vulnerable than ever. Both partners will grow from their time together, coming close to self-actualization. 

The takeaway

What Enneagram should a 3 marry if they’re looking for an ideal match? The best personality matches for a Type 3 include Type 9, Type 2, and Type 8. Type 9s are common significant others for Type 3s, and when these personality types unite in a healthy marriage, it is a sight to behold. However, Type 3s may marry any Enneagram personality type and find success if both people are willing to put in the work to make their relationship as healthy as possible.