What Does the Enneagram 9 Look Like in Stress?

It’s quite ironic that I, a type 9, continued to put this article on the bottom of my list. 

It’s almost as if I feel a natural, unbidden resistance to the idea of conflict and stress. I want to minimize anything remotely upsetting and continue on with my peaceful existence. Anything negative can be reframed and kept in a safe, positive light. 

Why on earth are we like this? 

As an Enneagram type 9, understanding how stress manifests and the reasons behind it are healthy and ultimately lead to the positive outcomes we so desperately desire. 

Alright my fellow 9s, take a deep breath with me and let’s dive in! 

*Disclaimer: This article does not substitute for professional help. If you are having difficulty coping, don’t hesitate to get help from a trained counselor or therapist. If you feel you need immediate help, please text HOME to 741741 or dial 988, or find international support numbers at Find a Helpline .

When a 9 Becomes a 6

Healthy Nines are fully present, to themselves, their relationships, and all the situations in their life. This includes conflict and stress. A Nine at their best will have stared down their fear of friction and learned how to deal with it calmly and peacefully. 

However, when complacent Nines are under stress (also known as their “direction of disintegration”), they act more like an anxious and worried Enneagram type Six. 

This is a Nine no longer self-possessed, but fraught with anxiety and insecurity. Nines in this state may double down, trying to gain more stability while self-sabotaging their natural efforts to bring about their goal. 

Stressed Nines take on the troubled aspect of a six, not trusting their own minds and minimizing any confidence in their decisions. Where Nines are typically optimistic and creative, these changes cut them off from their own power and make it even more difficult to rise out of the hole they slowly dig themselves in. 

Cheery, no? Don’t feel too uncomfortable. (I certainly am!) We’re headed to action-oriented waters.

How to Spot the Stress

Given that a Nine will minimize upsetting feelings until they are terribly undeniable, it can be an incredible help for each Nine to identify the actions and behaviors they engage in without conscious thought when curbing stress. This exercise might take a glass of wine and some real truth-talk with yourself. A Nine in stress is often a Nine in denial. 

First up, Nines will sometimes escape into mental or emotional fantasies. This acts as a numbing mechanism. I can’t be upset about my present if I’m stuck in my own perfectly tailored fantasy, right? A Nine stuck on the first draft of a novel might walk around plotting the perfect answers to questions a talk-show host will inevitably ask them when their book hits the top charts. 

This can be easier to spot when we remember that Nines are both in touch with their physical and inner or spiritual selves, giving them great instincts. When a Nine retreats into fantasy-land as an escape, they’ll be out of touch with their instinctual strengths. They can come across disengaged and remote. 

I caught myself doing this not two days ago. (Gulp!) 

My husband and I both work from home, and some mornings we’re even able to eat breakfast together. (It’s wonderful and I’m lucky, I know.) As we spooned cereal in silence, my husband asked if everything was alright. 

“Of course!” was my cheery response. “Why do you ask?” 

He pointed out that I never ever read the text of a carton in front of me. 

And it took me a minute to realize a few things. One, he was absolutely right. I’m not the kind to read a milk carton, especially when I’m eating with someone. Two, I did feel a little off and had no idea why. Three, as soon as I had the thought that I felt off, I immediately started brainstorming what I was going to do that day. Internal distraction turned sabotage. 

Truthfully, it wasn’t anything hugely stressful that was on my mind. 

That’s how an Enneagram Nine in stress looks in real time, folks! Sometimes, we don’t even realize we’re under stress because our natural inclinations are too good at keeping us distracted. 

Levels of the Nine

Each Enneagram type has Nine levels (not to be confused with the type Nine personality) that are divided into three categories: the top three levels are a healthy manifestation of each type, the second three levels are what an average type experiences, and the bottom three levels are considered unhealthy territory. 

As we’re discussing the type Nine, I won’t delve deeply into the healthy or average levels. Instead, I give you the unhealthy levels of a type Nine: 

At the least, Nines can feel absolutely incapable of facing, let alone actually putting forth effort to solve, any problems. This is where the peace-oriented Nine can become obstinate and go beyond distraction into dissociation. Nines will begin neglecting duties and relationships in this stage. 

The next level comes with a Nine blocking out awareness of anything affecting him. This is when a Nine dissociates to the point of malfunctioning, truly numb to their surroundings and their inner selves. 

Aaaaand as if that’s not uncomfortable enough to read, the last level of an unhealthy Nine comes by looking like a shell of their former self. Disoriented and completely suspended from reality, this is when a Nine might experience personality disorders not otherwise present in their life. 

How to Deal With Stress 

Now we get to the action! This is the section more comfortable for a Nine to consider and discuss: how to deal with stress and how to keep the peace when conflict rears its ugly head. 

First up, it’s crucial to identify how you manifest stress. The above sections are there to help with that. Do you escape into fantasies? Numb yourself with Netflix? 

I find that I answer different types of stresses in different ways. It’s not fun work, but it is work worth doing. Plus, if you view it as self-improvement exercises, that helps. 

Next up, find a remedy for each type of stress.

That could be meditation. Exercise. Eating healthy. Jamming to a curated playlist in your car. Practicing an instrument. Petting a furry animal. Hugging your partner. Journaling. Taking three deep breaths. Breaking tasks into smaller tasks that take two seconds to complete. Having a good soak. Having a good cry. 

Some stress you need to release. With some stress you need to take action before you can overcome it. 

I trust that you, my fellow Nine, will shine in this category. You know what brings you peace and what naturally fills up your cup. 

One point of fighting stress I find relevant to Nines everywhere: setting boundaries. 

We Nines are too likely to go along with someone else’s idea to maintain group harmony. We might not even recognize the inward groans of resistance. Setting and enforcing boundaries takes practice and patience with yourself. And, as a Nine, I am here to tell you that learning this skill has brought a new type of grounded peace into my life. 

Thank you for joining me on this slightly uncomfortable but necessary journey into our stress experience! What wisdom do you have for dealing with stress as a type Nine?