INFJ? Here’s Why You Should Laugh at Yourself More Often

For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with the ability to laugh at myself. While my brother is a master of self-deprecating humor, I’ve never been able to crack a joke at my past misfortunes. In fact, as an INFJ, I have this irritating tendency to fixate on my actions a lot, which often leads me to see nothing but my shortcomings. When that happens, I enter a spiral of overthinking, and lose trust in my own ability to deal with anything that’s remotely challenging. Sound familiar?

Yet, science tells us that self-mockery can have a positive impact on our well-being, and that may be especially true for INFJs. Not convinced? Keep scrolling to learn why INFJs should laugh at themselves more often!

1. To overcome self-criticism

You’re probably not surprised to hear that INFJs can be incredibly self-critical. We have a perfectionist tendency that leads us to set the bar ridiculously high for ourselves, then beat ourselves up when we don’t reach those impossible standards. In other words, we start seeing ourselves as the problem. When that happens, we may hide away in our own little bubbles, not trying anything ever again for fear of being imperfect.

As an INFJ, poking fun at yourself can help you break down the perfectionist barrier that stands between where you are, and where you want to be. Laughing at yourself may help you overcome your inner, ever-rigid self-critic that tells you you’re not good enough, and “this won’t ever work out, so why even try?”

Remember that while it’s important to be aware of your own weaknesses, it’s equally important to acknowledge your talents and skills. Laughing at yourself can be a way of looking at your limitations through a lens of self-compassion, and realizing that—just like everyone else—you’re not perfect.

The more you let go of those damaging expectations and have a laugh about then, the less power you give to your own inner critic.

2. To be aware of your own biases

Laughing at yourself can also be a helpful way for you—as an INFJ—to be aware of your own biases.

As Feelers, INFJs are empathetic, for sure. But we’re also hyper-sensitive, which can make us shy away from criticism. It’s like a safety measure. We want to protect our beliefs as they’re very dear to us, so we close off from people who do not share the same opinions.

What’s more, this hyper-sensitivity may lead an INFJ to make rash conclusions about another person’s motivations. We think we know what needs to be known about a situation, so there’s no point trying to convince us otherwise.

Being able to crack a joke at your own stubbornness can help you see the flip side of certain situations, and challenge you to be aware of your own biases.  

3. To let go of the past

Like other Introverts, INFJs can often take themselves too seriously for their own good. Whenever we think we made a mistake, we have a tendency to overthink it. Instead of acknowledging it and moving on, we fixate on that situation so much that we’re unable to let it go. Sometimes weeks or months pass by, and our mind is still replaying embarrassing situations in our heads, over and over.

This overthinking cycle often leads an INFJ to be stuck in the past and afraid of trying new things. Humor can play an important role here. Science tells us that being able to laugh at yourself is a sign of resilience. It means you’re aware of your own flaws and shortcomings but, crucially, you don’t let them define you. Ultimately, it’s a sign of maturity: you understand that you’re imperfect, and are happy to celebrate your humanity by poking some fun at life’s mishaps.

In fact, when you face your fears in a humorous light, you’re taking power away from that situation. Often, you’ll discover that those past mistakes aren’t as serious as your fertile INFJ mind imagines them to be. So, next time you start dwelling on past missteps, give yourself permission to chuckle a bit and see if it changes the narrative.

4. To be better prepared for future challenges

Making mistakes is part of human nature, and it’s an opportunity as well as a threat. As the saying goes: mistakes made are lessons learned. Yet, for the overthinking INFJ, this notion can be hard to grasp.

On the one hand, INFJs have Introverted Intuition (Ni) as their main function, which means we spend half the time in our own heads. Depending on the mood, we may joyfully see the possibilities in everything. Or, we may fixate only on negative scenarios and enter the spiral of doom.

On the other hand, an INFJ’s auxiliary function is Extraverted Feeling (Fe). This means we’re oriented towards following social norms, and fitting in. That’s why feeling like we’ve let someone down, or being awkward in public may leave an INFJ so upset -- we care a lot about what others think of us.

Being able to crack a joke when you fail is an important skill for INFJs, as it may help you prepare for future mistakes, stressors and criticisms. Studies show that when you don’t take yourself too seriously, you can look at your own faux pas from an outside perspective. This may help you stop fixating only on the past -- an attitude that might be doing you more harm than you think.

So give yourself permission to laugh. The more you use humor as a tool of resilience, the easier it will be to start seeing future challenges in a positive light.

The bottom line

As an INFJ, you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously. Laughing at yourself is an important habit to cultivate, as it can take the power away from past situations that you may be dwelling on in a negative way. So go ahead and have a laugh! Allow yourself to look at your own actions and mishaps through a lens of self-compassion. It really will help you to embrace the absurdities of life.