Do Children Inherit Their Parents’ Personalities?

Clinically Reviewed by Steven Melendy, PsyD. on May 23, 2016

The question of whether our genes influence our personality essentially boils down to nature versus nurture, one of the oldest debates in the history of psychology. It has dominated personality theory since Darwin noticed that survival meant passing on the most capable of our genes to the next generation.

On the one side, there's the notion that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree ("nature"). Children inherit eye color, skin pigmentation and vulnerability to specific illnesses from one or other parent, and they inherit specific personality traits in the same way. Personality is wired in, and no quirks of upbringing will change it.

In the opposing corner stands the theory of nurture. Nurture argues that the human mind is a blank slate, and it's the sum total of your environment, learning and experiences that shape you to be the person you are today.

So, who's wrong? Who's right? Let's take a closer look.

Nature Versus Nurture in Psychology

The nature versus nurture debate is an on-going one and one that reflects the popular culture of the time. Back in Darwin's day, for example, the psychologist and eugenicist Francis Galton (himself a cousin of Charles Darwin) was convinced that intelligence was hereditary and that society could be improved through "better breeding."

Freud changed the popular thinking. He believed that personality was shaped by conflicts resolved in childhood and how an individual learned to navigate their physical environment. Throughout much of the 20th century, this behaviorist or nurture approach dominated psychology. It was commonly believed that human personality was primarily influenced by their environment and could be changed through social conditioning. It was during this time that Bandura conducted his famous Bobo doll experiment to show that aggression could be learned through imitation and thousands of Americans hit the psychotherapy couch to talk about their childhood.

Today, research into the human genome has given scientists a much better understanding of how traits and certain behavioral characteristics are passed from parent to child. Recent research on twins reveals that genetics have a stronger influence on the development of certain personality traits than previously thought, and may even play a larger role than child rearing.

The Twin Studies

For 20 years, researchers at the University of Minnesota studied 350 pairs of twins, some of whom were raised in different families. The landmark study was the first of its kind to compare twins raised independently with those raised in the same environment. This allowed researchers to assess the relative influence of heredity and of upbringing in their development.

During the study, participants were put through a series of personality tests which broadly followed the Big 5 personality test. Big 5 measures test-takers against five core personality traits, as well as various sub-traits. These are:

O - Openness to experience (your level of curiosity)

C - Conscientiousness (your level of work ethic)

E - Extraversion (your level of sociability)

A - Agreeableness (your level of kindness)

N - Neuroticism (your level of anxiety or shame).

The results are fascinating. For most of the traits measured, more than half the variation between the twins was shown to be genetic. Among the traits found most strongly determined by heredity were ambition, vulnerability to stress (neuroticism), leadership, risk-seeking, a sense of well-being and, surprisingly, respect for authority. The genetic factor for these traits was found to run somewhere in the region of 50 to 60 percent.

Jim Lewis and Jim Springer, the most astounding raised-apart twin set in the Minnesota study, were shown to be so similar in the personality variables of tolerance, flexibility and conformity that it was almost impossible to tell them apart.

Do Parents Still Matter?

Even though the twin studies demonstrate the strong influence of nature, family influence still matters. More recent studies, for example, have shown that the personality trait of conscientiousness has a far lower genetic correlation than the other personality traits. This suggests that a parent or educator might equip an inherently spontaneous child with the tools she needs to show duty and self-discipline, and thus influence the development of her personality.

It's not just family influence that matters, either. In a recent British study, researchers found that, on average, 60 percent of the variation in a child's unruly behavior in school was down to their genes. But in London and other global hotspots, environment played a far greater role. The researchers concluded that issues such as deprivation, housing, education and even pollution levels could all influence how your DNA expresses itself as personality.

This brings us to another fascinating conclusion drawn by the Minnesota twin studies. Researchers found that raised-apart identical twins are more similar than identical twins that are raised together. That's because together-twins have the opportunity to recognize their similarities and deliberately change their behavior so they might be different from their sibling - effectively turning off their genes.

All of which seems to suggest that, even if we do inherit certain parts of our personalities, we're not forever stuck with them. There's a strong possibility that we can change our disposition simply by changing our environment, or possibly even through sheer force of will.

Summing It Up

The current thinking is pretty clear - our personalities are shaped by biology and upbringing, and it is almost impossible to hold an all-or-nothing view. Instead of asking whether personality is down to nature or nurture, the question should be, how much? How much of our personalities is down to nature and how much can we control and change over time? And can we even put a figure on something that has so many variables?

So if you're looking at your child and thinking, "Where did that personality come from?" the answer is, at least a little bit from you. But with multiple personality dimensions to look at, and two parents, this won't result in an exact type match very often. Our personality type code is shorthand for a hugely complex system of thought processing. Until we can map the specific genetic code for each individual personality trait, we're going to have to embrace the mystery of our personalities and how our own unique character came to be.

Molly Owens

Molly Owens is the founder and CEO of Truity. She is a graduate of UC Berkeley and holds a master's degree in counseling psychology. She began working with personality assessments in 2006, and in 2012 founded Truity with the goal of making robust, scientifically validated assessments more accessible and user-friendly.

Molly is an ENTP and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she enjoys elaborate cooking projects, murder mysteries, and exploring with her husband and son.

More from this author...
About the Clinical Reviewer

Steven Melendy, PsyD., is a Clinical Psychologist who received his doctorate from The Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. He specializes in using evidence-based approaches in his work with individuals and groups. Steve has worked with diverse populations and in variety of a settings, from community clinics to SF General Hospital. He believes strongly in the importance of self-care, good friendships, and humor whenever possible.


Nicky90 (not verified) says...

Loved this article! It was really helpful :) I am a twin and I have a twin sister that I live with in the same house and I feel I'm constantly trying to be different so we balance out one another. It is really frustrating and sometimes difficult. We are identical too :)

Blair Hollis (not verified) says...

Molly you gave presented a well documented and thoroughly holistic approach to personality development. Too often the dichotomy between science and nature (secular behavioral vs inherent/genetic talent) create true wars of thought. In approaching this inquiry looking for the good in both draws the best from inborn traits and environmental influences that shape "who" we are.

When we look at our children and marvel at "what" they might become it is important that we understand ourselves sufficiently to patiently nudge them into their own discovery. If we try to micromanage them then we will inadvertently influence their behavior. Instead we should urge them to express "what" it is they enjoy (inherent strength identification) and to inquire "why?" We should become investigators who allow them to express their uniqueness in order for them to developmentally find that resilience to manage themselves when conflicts arise.

In this process we invite them to become confident in their distinctive nature (identify development) sufficiently form them to form an awareness of self. There are existential drives that will emerge asking "who" we are and "why" what we do is of value of has meaning. Foundational, our guiding our children through this above referenced developmental rearing will prepare them to answer these questions where hope unfolds.

Julie Moore (not verified) says...

Great article, Molly! I especially like your reminder that: "Our personality type code is shorthand for a hugely complex system of thought processing." The more I study personality and the different ways to measure it, the more I realize how amazingly complex human beings are!

Guest (not verified) says...

I wonder if your personality type is affected by whether you like your parents or not as well. If a child likes there parents, and looks up to them, they may turn out similar to them. If they don't they might turn out to be the opposite.

Jacob Engel (not verified) says...

Excellent article! Not to sound like I'm bragging, but in my book The Prosperous Leader, I agree with the theory that it's both! One thing I added was that there is a third component and that's choice. And choice is only available if we've acquired the tools and the EQ to be aware of choosing or as Covey calls it "Being Proactive" otherwise we default back to our Aptitude.
Keep up your great work.

Barbara Farr (not verified) says...

In my opinion, after raising three children on my own, it is nature first and then nurture.
It all depends on how we nurture our children's nature when they are young.

Glenys Hutchinson (not verified) says...

Really helped reading this  article l have been looking for explanations for many years - I have brought up my neice's child since he was born as she had problems with drugs he is now 14 and so many of her traits are coming out in him even though he has never lived with her, I feel he cannot surpress his actions -   I find this extremely difficult to manage  as his birth mother had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder the "Nature v Nurture is extremely complicated but this article has helped me - thank you 

Lucca (not verified) says...

Wow... thank you so much! My mom is always trying to prove that my siblings' and occasionally my bad behavior is because we apparently have a psychopathic dad through which we obviously inherited our oh so sociopathic personality traits. I can't wait to prove her wrong the next time she says "You're obviously a psychopath because you have a father who is a psychopath."

Naomi Miller 7th Grade (not verified) says...

I asked this question in class whether personality is intimate because my dad and I have some of the same personality traits and this article was quite helpful. I am definetly going to recommend this article to my friends.

Guest (not verified) says...

I absolutely adored both my parents, however, was closer to my father.  Because he always said "yes", when I wanted something.  I am an only child, so I'm really not certain how to answer this.  I was nurtured by so much love and attention - and I fell like I was brought up with a lot of empathy for others. I loved watching my parents dancing around in the living room to the Big Band era songs such as Tommy Dorsey....and Sinatra, Dean Martin, just to name a couple.  To this day, this is the music I still love, and I wanted to be just like them.  They were definitely a positive influence on me.  And in the end, I did end up in a life much like theirs.  And we taught our children the same positive attitudes and how to treat people, no bullying.  Be nice to everyone.  And it worked. Our children now are very prosperous adults and are generous, have empathy and would give anything that they had to any one who needed help.  I'm so very proud of our children and feel like they are most assuredly a combination of their father and me.

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