Can Mindfulness Backfire? What Personality Science Says About Meditation Gone Wrong

My initial impressions of meditation materialized forcefully during a Vipassana course—a Buddhist meditation practice, streamlined and popularized by an Indian teacher whose recorded voice teaches meditation methodology in centers throughout the world to anyone willing to commit for 10 days. With a small cabin in the forest, my phone in a locker and wholesome vegetarian buffets, all by donation, I felt like I had found a silent paradise. 

That is, until the course started.

Our meditation schedule consisted of sitting on a designated cushion, in 1-2 hour sessions, from 4:30 a.m. until after 9 at night. After half a day, my knees hurt, my hips hurt and my confidence hurt. Rather than focusing my mind on my breath, my mind itself seemed determined to fixate on one single thought: “Get me out of here!”

I cycled through an extensive list of excuses: I had better things to do than “nothing,” bodies aren’t supposed to sit all day, meditation is not for me, etc. But the truth was that my personality wasn’t well-suited to adapt to the course requirements. I had no interest in persevering at the expense of my priorities.

On the second evening, I discussed leaving with one of the course teachers and was forced to depart immediately, in a somewhat distressed state. It would be years before I willingly practiced meditation again. However, when I did, it was with natural curiosity, gentle teachings and manageable doses.

As it turned out, meditation became an integral part of my day. It transformed my mind, made my setbacks easier and inspired my life’s path—teaching and sharing mindfulness-based practices with those beginning their journey.

The intention of this article is to explore meditation as a way to get to know ourselves that sometimes offers unique growth-oriented challenges. We’ll discuss personality traits that are often triggered by seated meditation practices and offer tips for embracing its all-encompassing benefits, regardless of your personality.

Can Meditation Go Wrong?

A quick search for “meditation gone wrong” pulls up side effects ranging from anxiety and depression to psychosis and disassociation (along with a list of Vipassana horror stories worse than mine). It’s important to remember that these cases are exceptions, not norms. 

Far more common is experiencing mild meditation-related frustrations or setbacks. 

To illustrate why meditation sometimes feels bad instead of good, here’s a commonly referenced analogy. Imagine the process of pouring pure water into a glass of water that has a layer of sediment at the bottom. Before the fresh water is added, the water in the glass appears clear, even though it’s actually dirty. As we slowly pour clear water into the glass, we experience an initial surge of freshness, followed quickly by agitation: the dirt, which was resting or unseen, gets stirred up, and visible particles start floating throughout the glass. However, if we continue to pour pure water (our meditation practice) into the glass (our mind), the glass will overflow, and we’ll eventually release all of the sediment (our impurities). When we continue to pour pure water, our cup will eventually end up pure too.

In other words, through the process of meditation and self-introspection, we’re exposed to parts of our mind that we don’t often acknowledge or examine. It’s natural for “darkness” to surface during sincere concentration or contemplation practices in the form of fears, insecurities, regrets or other shadows. This might feel uncomfortable, but this discomfort is often the motivation to begin true inner transformation.

Sometimes meditation will feel good, and sometimes it won’t. Sometimes we can sit for 30 minutes peacefully and effortlessly, and sometimes five minutes feels like a struggle. This is normal! Meditation is a process, and when we practice, we evolve. Thus, rather than dismissing meditation as “wrong” or “not for me,” we can instead ask, “What am I learning about myself through my challenges?”

Personality Characteristics Challenged by Meditation

Research suggests that people with certain personality types are more likely to struggle with meditation and mindfulness practices than others. For example, referencing the 16-type personality theory, mindfulness comes more naturally to Sensors than Intuitives. 

Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that Intuitives shouldn’t practice mindfulness. In fact, they have more potential for growth and transformation from a mindfulness practice than those already inclined towards a state of observation.

Similarly, people who score high on the sliding scale of Neuroticism, the Big Five trait related to stress, anxiety and worry, might find that watching negative thoughts can spiral downward into further distress. However, although emptying the mind of anxiety might seem futile to an anxious person, it’s not impossible—and meditation can potentially help. While meditation and mindfulness practices won’t change our personality completely, they can have a strong effect on our natural personality tendencies, including reduced Neuroticism.

The following list includes further personality characteristics that can present obstacles to traditional seated meditation—along with suggested meditation techniques for overcoming personality-related difficulties.

Overthinking

Personality types who tend to overthink, over-analyze or dwell on problems (qualities associated with Neuroticism) might find that these mental patterns intensify when left with no distractions. This is natural and doesn’t need to be a deterrent from practicing.

We often think the goal of meditation is to have no thoughts, when in fact, the idea is simply to not be attached to thoughts. Many meditation teachings involve learning to observe thoughts and emotions as an impartial witness—ultimately seeing your true self as separate from your thoughts and emotions. If you find yourself overthinking or anxious (or anxious about overthinking), try changing your approach; can you observe each distracting thought and emotion and then let it go?

Suggested practice: Mantra meditation

The Sanskrit word mantra literally translates to “tool for the mind.” Essentially, repeating certain syllables, words or phrases (mentally or aloud) can help us learn to focus single-pointedly, limiting space for outside thoughts, worries or anxious tendencies.

Individualistic

Research has found that mindfulness-based practices sometimes increase self-centeredness or self-absorption in people who already tend to fixate on themselves. Included in this category are rebellious personalities. As referenced earlier, following instructions in a highly structured environment can be a hindrance to cultivating inner peace in independent or strong-willed minds. At the same time, the firm resolve and determination of individualistic and rebellious personalities are helpful when committing to the right practices, and certain meditation techniques can balance self-centered or defiant tendencies.

Suggested practices: Meditation with a focus on others and self-inquiry

Meditation with a focus on others: Buddhist meditation practices like metta (offering loving-kindness to others) and tonglen (taking in the suffering of others and offering healing) emphasize that our well-being is connected to the well-being of all. These methods of cultivating compassion are simple, approachable and, once learned, easy to practice without guidance.

Self-inquiry. Another remedy for excessive focus on individual preferences and self-centeredness is self-inquiry, which is the process of contemplating ego-identification. The most common way to practice this technique is to ask yourself a simple question: “Who am I?”, “Who is thinking these thoughts?” or “Where do my thoughts come from?” These questions are intended to confound the rational mind and eventually dissolve our sense of “I,” leaving us with a larger, universal sense of self” that offers a lighter perspective on our own personal problems.

Perfectionist

In meditation, we must let go of both the mind’s tendency to control our meditation and our desire to attain results. This can be a struggle for perfectionists, planners and goal-oriented personalities (such as Enneagram Type One Perfectionists and Type Three Achievers) who strive to attain specific goals during meditation and straightforward progress throughout time.

Suggested practice: Equanimity

Practicing equanimity refers to remaining impartial to whatever happens in life—observing thoughts and feelings without judgment and not preferring the highs over the lows. If that concept seems like a stretch, begin by cultivating present-moment awareness, focusing on the meditation process rather than on a certain outcome. Practice acceptance of anything moving through your awareness, and stay present with what is instead of reaching for what might be.

Tips for Starting a Meditation Practice

For those beginning a meditation practice, the following guidelines can lead you towards a balanced, sustainable approach.

1. Gentleness. Diving into the deep end while beginning a meditation practice can be off-putting or even detrimental. Instead, set aside a small amount of time each day, whatever you can comfortably manage, for your meditation or mindfulness practice.
2. Experimentation. If seated meditation doesn’t feel right, find other options. Apart from the alternatives mentioned above, mindfully walking, writing or joining a guided meditation group might be a better alternative to sitting alone in silence. Your personality type can guide you to find a meditative process conducive to your preferences and well-being.
3. Commitment. Once you find a practice that feels right, commit to it. Hold yourself accountable to practicing regularly for 21 days or a month (even if it’s only for a few minutes each day), and decide afterwards if your practice is positively affecting your life.
4. Flexibility. The goal of meditation is to feel happy, healthy and peaceful. This might not happen right away, but there’s a good chance that if you stick to your practice, you’ll see benefits. That being said, happiness and peace are within, and there’s no practice you need to do to find what you already have! If meditation isn’t feeling right, let it go, and find another way to connect with your inner harmony. There’s no reason to force something that doesn’t seem natural, and perhaps the intention to meditate will come back around in another time or form.

Takeaway

Meditation and mindfulness-related exercises offer both physiological and psychological benefits to most people who take the time to practice. While meditation is generally considered low-risk, it’s possible for individuals to experience emotional triggers or intensified personality characteristics throughout the process of introspection. This is a normal aspect of self-discovery, and everyone’s experience is unique.

If discomfort arises from a meditation practice or anywhere else in life, it can be helpful to contemplate what our challenges can potentially teach us. Then take steps towards feeling at ease with whatever comes our way.