Are INTP and INTJ personality types compatible? See how INTPs and INTJs get along in this guide to INTP/INTJ relationships. If you're an INTP in a relationship with an INTJ, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life.

How INTP and INTJ Get Along

INTPs and INTJs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. As an INTP, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an INTJ.

As an Intuitive Thinking type, you approach relationships a little differently than the average person. You have a lively mind and an appetite for ideas. More than any other type, you like to spend time with people who can keep up with you mentally and who expose you to new ideas and worldviews. Ultimately, what you are looking for in relationships is intellectual stimulation—although you also appreciate people who can draw out your softer side.

When interacting with your counterpart, be aware that as an Intuitive Thinking type, they will primarily be looking for an intellectual connection. NT types feel close to someone when they have a meeting of the minds, particularly when they are able to have a discussion that leads them to learn something new or think about things in a different way. NT types aren't devoid of feeling—they're human just like everyone else—but they're very much in their heads, and their relationships tend to start with a mental spark rather than an emotional one.

You're likely to instantly recognize this person as someone who speaks your language. You may connect over a shared interest in science, technology, philosophy, or just a passion for understanding how the world works. You both prefer to dispense with small talk and dive into a discussion of something intellectually meaty, and your conversations are likely to get interesting (and even peculiar) very quickly.

People who observe you interacting with this person might be surprised at how contentious your discussions can get. You are both people who enjoy a good debate, and rarely take offense to your ideas being challenged. This tendency can lead to almost every one of your conversations turning into an argument. Most likely, you'll appreciate this; you'll both know that you don't need to worry about hurt feelings, and it can be freeing to finally be able to speak your mind bluntly and know that it won't be taken as an attack.

On the other hand, although neither of you is eager to say it, you do both have feelings. Relationships between two people as analytical as yourselves can sometimes turn competitive, critical, and even combative. With nobody particularly interested in bringing up emotions or other touchy-feely matters, your relationship runs the risk of being somewhat cold.

For the best results with this unique and potentially rewarding connection, make sure that you express your appreciation for one another. You don't have to turn yourself into a sentimental marshmallow; your shared outlook is such that even a well-timed "I enjoyed that conversation" is likely to be taken as a heartwarming display of affection. 

Communication Between INTP and INTJ

Communication can be a challenge between any two people, and communication between INTP and INTJ personality types is not the exception. By being aware of the issues that often arise when INTPs and INTJs communicate, you can learn how to reach an understanding more quickly.

You and your counterpart share an abstract style of communication. Your conversations will tend to focus on your impressions, ideas, opinions, and theories. You may find yourselves discussing philosophy, the arts, the latest advances in science, or your ideas about how to make the world a better place.

You are likely to find one another interesting and stimulating to talk to. Neither of you is terribly interesting in recounting events in tedious detail or sharing dry facts without any context, and since both of you probably have the experience of getting stuck in such mundane exchanges with other people, talking to one another should be a refreshing break.

Although you share a similar general style of communicating, there is still potential for misunderstandings between the two of you. When working on projects together, you may find that you tend to discuss the overall goals, but neglect to hammer out the details. You are both inclined to talk more about the general idea, and less about the facts and practicalities. When working together to create a plan, make sure you attend to any details that need to be decided, and don't just assume you're on the same page.

"Still waters run deep" is an apt motto for both of you, and as a result, striking up a conversation may initially be a challenge. But if you can get through the awkward get-to-know you phase, you'll find rich and wonderful opportunities to share thoughts and ideas with each other.

You are both deep, intuitive, and reflective thinkers. You tend to be fascinated with complex ideas and enjoy exploring the meaning of things. Your specific interests may not be the same, but you share a way of thinking about things that is highly complementary. Although it may take you a while to get started, once you're absorbed in conversation with one another, you'll likely both find it fascinating.

INTP vs. INTJ Values

Values are intensely personal, and while an INTP and an INTJ can find common ground, there will always be some differences in what you hold dear. However, understand how your INTP approach to values compares with your INTJ counterpart's will help you to appreciate and overcome your differences.

The two of you share a strong belief in the importance of logic and reason. Both of you tend to feel that the pursuit of truth and justice is the highest possible goal. You both tend to value factual, empirical ways of understanding things, and may share a love of science or mathematics. You appreciate the value of fairness, admire intelligence, and seek competence. As Rational types, you both appreciate people who are open-minded and willing to consider things from all angles, and you value a free exchange of ideas. You will find that you connect easily in places where intellectual discussion is encouraged.

Although you and your counterpart have a similar way of understanding things, it would be a mistake to assume that you’ll agree on important matters. You each tend to trust your own reasoning and believe in your ability to come to a correct conclusion. If your conclusions are wildly different, you may find yourself having a heated debate.

If you find yourself in conflict over what you believe, most of the time, this will make for a stimulating discussion as you hash out the pros and cons of your respective positions. Neither of you tend to get your feelings hurt when one of your beliefs is challenged, so you'll find that any differences in personal values can usually be addressed with a respectful "agree-to-disagree" approach.

That said, you both have a tendency to be a bit intellectually exhausting, with your steadfast devotion to logical analysis. A relationship between two people such as yourselves lacks a bit of balance, because neither of you is likely to call attention to feelings or emotions. At your worst together, you're all head, and no heart. Building trust and intimacy in this pairing can be difficult, as you tend to challenge each other more often than you comfort each other. In times of conflict, neither of you is likely to give in just for the sake of keeping the peace. If this relationship is important to you, remember that you'll have to work together on creating balance in the things you value. It's wonderful to be with someone who can challenge you intellectually, but to create a deep bond, you will also need to achieve trust, compassion, empathy, and cooperation. Although these may not be goals you'd naturally prioritize, recognizing their importance will be key to making your relationship a success.

One of your key values is flexibility and freedom, and this in an area in which you differ from your counterpart. While you take a relaxed, come-what-may approach to life, they tend to be a bit more serious and goal-oriented. They value stability and structure, while you'll gladly trade stability for your own freedom to do as you wish. They may sometimes feel that you simply aren't serious or driven enough, while you may occasionally find them seriously lacking in fun.

You may find you have some conflict about whether it's really more important to work hard and achieve, or relax and enjoy the ride. Remember, though, that there's a time and place for both these values. Hard work is certainly worthwhile, but naturally hard workers must also learn to unplug and enjoy life. And for yourself, while you're not likely to miss out on any of the fun in life, you may find that you enjoy more success in your career and other pursuits if you allow yourself to be influenced by your more goal-driven peers.

INTP and INTJ in Daily Life

Lifestyle is an under-appreciated—but extremely important—element of compatibility. Your values and ideals may coincide perfectly, but if you can't agree on how to conduct day-to-day matters, your relationship will always have friction. As an INTP in a relationship with an INTJ, you can expect certain issues to arise in your daily life. Discussing these in advance, and figuring out how to deal with them, will make things go much more smoothly as you develop your relationship.

The two of you are likely to share a general intellectual curiosity and interest in learning new things. Both of you tend to appreciate the value of culture, the sciences, and the arts, and while you may not share specific hobbies, you'll probably have interests that you can at least mutually appreciate.

For both of you, discovering new ideas is a lifelong pursuit. You'll probably share a mutual interest in reading, going to museums and cultural events, taking classes for fun, and other activities that allow you to learn and improve your minds. In fact, you may find that learning new things together is a great way to bring you closer.

You also share a low tolerance for the mundane. You both find day-to-day routine somewhat toxic, and you may find that your lives together involve frequent attempts to "shake things up." You may dream of traveling around the world together or quitting your jobs to start a new business. This mutual taste for adventure is stimulating for both of you, and helps keep things exciting between you. However, during the inevitable dull periods of your life together, it's likely that you'll both be a bit cranky. Bear in mind that keeping things novel and fresh is key to both of your happiness.

Organization may be a sticking point between the two of you. While you tend to be fairly relaxed about schedules, plans, and systems, your counterpart takes a more structured approach. You may find that disagreements arise over these fundamental differences.

If you share physical space, you may disagree over how clean, tidy, and organized it needs to be. Your counterpart will naturally feel more motivated to keep things in order, while you'll tend to have less of a need for organization.

You may end up feeling nagged or harassed by your partner's demands for organization, but it's important to remember that working on this aspect of your personality is a way of respecting who they are. Often, the more organized partner ends up taking on more of the shared responsibilities, simply because they're paying more attention to what needs to be done. This can lead to resentment and imbalance in the relationship. If you think of being organization as a means of showing respect or caring for the other person, rather than a chore, this may help you to feel more motivated.

Scheduling can also be an area of conflict for the two of you, as you like to leave things open-ended, while they prefer things planned and settled. Again, compromise is the key. The first step is to acknowledge that you have different approaches, and that each style has its benefits. Then, try to make sure your time together includes both scheduled events and free time for spontaneity, so both of you get a chance to be at your best.

You both get overstimulated by too much activity and both enjoy spending quiet time alone. You and your partner might often find yourself at home with takeout and Netflix, or even in the same room without actually talking to each other, and you’re both okay with that. You likely both have small but intimate circles of friends and there may be no great urgency to work your way into each other’s friendship circles as a way of deepening your own bond. Personal boundaries are important to you, and you respect each other’s personal space by default.

You likely share a slower pace of life and appreciate the need for down time to balance out the busyness. Neither of you feels a burning desire to attend party after relentless party, and it’s likely that you’re on the same page regarding the booking of your social calendar. The problem is that when you do make plans, it can be dangerously easy for you to talk each other out of them. Hiding away is not healthy or practical. If your relationship is a priority, one of you must bite the bullet and motivate the other to follow through.

Despite both being introverts, one partner may need more down time than the other, or you may have different social needs. It’s a balancing act to sync your calendars and maintain a balance between your respective needs. Communication is key, although that too can be challenging as you both tend to shy away from confrontation because it’s overstimulating. Acknowledge when you’re bottling up feelings. Making a conscious effort to focus on conversations that take your both out of your comfort zones is the key to discovering new aspects of your relationship.