Are INTP and ENFJ personality types compatible? See how INTPs and ENFJs get along in this guide to INTP/ENFJ relationships. If you're an INTP in a relationship with an ENFJ, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life.

How INTP and ENFJ Get Along

INTPs and ENFJs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. As an INTP, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an ENFJ.

As an Intuitive Thinking type, you approach relationships a little differently than the average person. You have a lively mind and an appetite for ideas. More than any other type, you like to spend time with people who can keep up with you mentally and who expose you to new ideas and worldviews. Ultimately, what you are looking for in relationships is intellectual stimulation—although you also appreciate people who can draw out your softer side.

When relating to your counterpart, bear in mind that as an Intuitive Feeling type, they will tend to be highly idealistic about their relationships. They want authentic connections that reflect their true values, and they want to see who you really are as a person. Intuitive Feelers want to go deep, and revealing yourself to them is a worthwhile endeavor—once they feel they know you, they'll be a tireless cheerleader for your dreams and ambitions.

When first meeting this person, they may seem to you to have an interesting mind. You may be drawn to their way of seeing things and their unconventional perspectives. However, they may also seem to you to be a bit whimsical. Although they will likely seem intelligent, they may also seem overly emotional or sensitive. They may be a bit wary of you, in turn, as you may seem more blunt and critical than they are entirely comfortable with.

You are logic-driven, whereas your counterpart is values-driven. Although you both like to analyze, your interest lies more with logic and reason—does this make sense? Is it the most efficient, the most even-handed option? On the other hand, your counterpart takes their cues from morality and ethics—how can this work best for people? You may find that although you are drawn into fascinating conversations with this person, those same conversations tend to end in frustration as you simply cannot agree on what's important.

However, you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. Your logical, rational nature may at times betray you, leading you to try to apply logic to situations that are ultimately subjective and personal. This person, who at their worst appears capricious and illogical, can help you to tune into your more emotional, caring side and ensure that you don't neglect what makes you human. In particular, they may help you to understand that all decisions cannot be made with the head; sometimes your heart must call the shots.

Conversely, you can help them learn how to balance their decision-making. Although your friend's natural instinct is to do what feels right, you can ask tough questions that help them to consider all aspects of the choice—and make a difficult decision when the situation calls for it. You can also help them learn to advocate for their own needs, and to discover the magic of saying "no."

This person likely has a higher energy level than you do, and you may find their enthusiasm overwhelming at times. You may find it important to set boundaries and let them know when you need space and quiet.

Communication Between INTP and ENFJ

Communication can be a challenge between any two people, and communication between INTP and ENFJ personality types is not the exception. By being aware of the issues that often arise when INTPs and ENFJs communicate, you can learn how to reach an understanding more quickly.

You and your counterpart share an abstract style of communication. Your conversations will tend to focus on your impressions, ideas, opinions, and theories. You may find yourselves discussing philosophy, the arts, the latest advances in science, or your ideas about how to make the world a better place.

You are likely to find one another interesting and stimulating to talk to. Neither of you is terribly interesting in recounting events in tedious detail or sharing dry facts without any context, and since both of you probably have the experience of getting stuck in such mundane exchanges with other people, talking to one another should be a refreshing break.

Although you share a similar general style of communicating, there is still potential for misunderstandings between the two of you. When working on projects together, you may find that you tend to discuss the overall goals, but neglect to hammer out the details. You are both inclined to talk more about the general idea, and less about the facts and practicalities. When working together to create a plan, make sure you attend to any details that need to be decided, and don't just assume you're on the same page.

When talking with this person, you may fall into the role of listener by default. Because they are more extraverted than you are, they'll tend to naturally speak more quickly and have more to say. You tend to be a bit more quiet and reserved, and are often more comfortable letting others have the floor. You may leave conversations with this person feeling like you actually didn't say much at all.

This can be a comfortable dynamic sometimes. Many introverts like having friends and associates who are dynamic and chatty and keep the conversation moving. Other times, it can be frustrating. Extraverts sometimes assume that because Introverts are a bit slower to get going, they have nothing to say. Your Extravert friends may chatter on, thinking that if they don't fill the silence, no one will. In fact, you might appreciate them slowing down a bit, asking more questions, and giving you the time and space to express yourself. You may not have a talk-show-host personality, but that doesn't mean you have nothing to share.

Consider the dynamic between the two of you and ask yourself if it works for you. Does your Extraverted counterpart make space for you to share your thoughts and feelings? Or do you feel like you're being steamrolled? If you never feel you get to express yourself with this person, it's time to let them know that your relationship needs some tweaking.

Be aware that when communicating with this person, your usual style may come off as overly blunt or even confrontational. Your counterpart pays a lot of attention to the quality of relationships and is constantly monitoring the emotional overtones of any conversation. This means that they are reluctant to say anything controversial or possibly upsetting.

You, on the other hand, have a tendency to call it like it is, without too much concern for how people will react. This can create an imbalance in your dynamic, where your Feeling counterpart is desperately trying to maintain emotional harmony while you relentlessly rock the boat.

You'll be more successful in your communications if you take time to consider the emotional impact of your words. Sure, everyone wants honesty, but most people also like tact. If you're delivering news that may be hard to hear, think about how you can soften the message. And be aware that your ever-so-charming habit of offering unsolicited "constructive criticism" may not always be taken in the spirit it was intended.

INTP vs. ENFJ Values

Values are intensely personal, and while an INTP and an ENFJ can find common ground, there will always be some differences in what you hold dear. However, understand how your INTP approach to values compares with your ENFJ counterpart's will help you to appreciate and overcome your differences.

The two of you share a passion for improvement and a belief that everything can always be made better. You both tend to question rather than simply accept how things are, and you're constantly wondering how innovation and imagination might make for a better way.

However, though you're both interested in making positive changes, you may differ somewhat in terms of how you define that interest. Your interest tends to focus on innovation in logical realms like technology, business, and the sciences. You're interested in how intelligence and analytical thinking can make the world more advanced, enlightened, prosperous, and efficient. On the other hand, your counterpart takes a more humanistic approach. They are focused on making the world a better place for people—they want to solve world hunger, educate the poor, and bring peace and happiness to all.

Though you'll often find their ideas interesting, they may seem overly idealistic, impractical, or inefficient. And in turn, they may feel your ideas lack a bit of heart. For them, innovative ideas are only compelling when they have the potential to help the human race.

You also have somewhat different values when it comes to relationships. Your partner tends to be intensely interested in people and eager to find out what really matters to them. They are compassionate and emotionally engaged. On the other hand, you tend to be somewhat more detached. You'd often rather engage intellectually than emotionally. You may find your counterpart pushing you to "get real" and share how you feel about things, while you just want to stick to talking about what you think.

This person has the potential to help you gain a more well-rounded approach to how you see the world. Because you share a fundamental passion for interesting ideas and positive change, you can connect well on this level. However, your different approach to values creates an opportunity to learn from one another. You can help your friend to to be a bit more hard-headed about their ideas, shoring up their creative idealism with a healthy dose of logic and reason. And your friend can help you open up to the human side of things, and consider the impact of your ideas on the people involved.

One of your key values is flexibility and freedom, and this in an area in which you differ from your counterpart. While you take a relaxed, come-what-may approach to life, they tend to be a bit more serious and goal-oriented. They value stability and structure, while you'll gladly trade stability for your own freedom to do as you wish. They may sometimes feel that you simply aren't serious or driven enough, while you may occasionally find them seriously lacking in fun.

You may find you have some conflict about whether it's really more important to work hard and achieve, or relax and enjoy the ride. Remember, though, that there's a time and place for both these values. Hard work is certainly worthwhile, but naturally hard workers must also learn to unplug and enjoy life. And for yourself, while you're not likely to miss out on any of the fun in life, you may find that you enjoy more success in your career and other pursuits if you allow yourself to be influenced by your more goal-driven peers.

INTP and ENFJ in Daily Life

Lifestyle is an under-appreciated—but extremely important—element of compatibility. Your values and ideals may coincide perfectly, but if you can't agree on how to conduct day-to-day matters, your relationship will always have friction. As an INTP in a relationship with an ENFJ, you can expect certain issues to arise in your daily life. Discussing these in advance, and figuring out how to deal with them, will make things go much more smoothly as you develop your relationship.

The two of you are likely to share a general intellectual curiosity and interest in learning new things. Both of you tend to appreciate the value of culture, the sciences, and the arts, and while you may not share specific hobbies, you'll probably have interests that you can at least mutually appreciate.

For both of you, discovering new ideas is a lifelong pursuit. You'll probably share a mutual interest in reading, going to museums and cultural events, taking classes for fun, and other activities that allow you to learn and improve your minds. In fact, you may find that learning new things together is a great way to bring you closer.

You also share a low tolerance for the mundane. You both find day-to-day routine somewhat toxic, and you may find that your lives together involve frequent attempts to "shake things up." You may dream of traveling around the world together or quitting your jobs to start a new business. This mutual taste for adventure is stimulating for both of you, and helps keep things exciting between you. However, during the inevitable dull periods of your life together, it's likely that you'll both be a bit cranky. Bear in mind that keeping things novel and fresh is key to both of your happiness.

Organization may be a sticking point between the two of you. While you tend to be fairly relaxed about schedules, plans, and systems, your counterpart takes a more structured approach. You may find that disagreements arise over these fundamental differences.

If you share physical space, you may disagree over how clean, tidy, and organized it needs to be. Your counterpart will naturally feel more motivated to keep things in order, while you'll tend to have less of a need for organization.

You may end up feeling nagged or harassed by your partner's demands for organization, but it's important to remember that working on this aspect of your personality is a way of respecting who they are. Often, the more organized partner ends up taking on more of the shared responsibilities, simply because they're paying more attention to what needs to be done. This can lead to resentment and imbalance in the relationship. If you think of being organization as a means of showing respect or caring for the other person, rather than a chore, this may help you to feel more motivated.

Scheduling can also be an area of conflict for the two of you, as you like to leave things open-ended, while they prefer things planned and settled. Again, compromise is the key. The first step is to acknowledge that you have different approaches, and that each style has its benefits. Then, try to make sure your time together includes both scheduled events and free time for spontaneity, so both of you get a chance to be at your best.

Communicating your needs is crucial, as you both have a different tolerance for stimulation and social activities. You are energized by alone time and need regular periods of solitude to recharge your batteries. Your partner, by contrast, is energized by activity and probably makes plenty of room for friends, family, and social events. They won’t appreciate you refusing to socialize with them, leaving them alone and lonely, just as you won’t appreciate them overbooking the social calendar.

Communication is another challenge, since your partner prefers to deal with issues immediately while you may try to sweep problems under the rug. You need time to think something through before having an important conversation, and can feel backed into a corner if your partner gets all pushy and naggy. On the flip side, your partner knows how to speak their mind and defend their position, and it can be frustrating for them if they’re constantly having to drag a conversation out of you.

None of these differences is insurmountable and with a little compromise you can easily meet each other’s needs. Your partner’s job is to respect your need for solitude while encouraging you to attend events that are important to them. Compromise is a two-way street, and in return you must be fine with your partner going out and getting the social stimulation they need without resenting them for leaving you alone.