I am an ENFP female. My guy  ( not yet) is an INTJ. We both are typical. He is younger than 25.  We are basically the same age. My guy is EXTREMELY comfortable around me. I am , apparently, his comfort person. I love him dearly. And I know for a fact that he loves me and cares about me. However, he always mentions how there is a possibility of him meeting other girls. I am so scared that we are not on the same page. We have known each other for 3 months now. I usually take a lot of time trusting someone. To this person, I have been vulnerable. He has cried in fornt of me at the thought of us not kissing each other or making love to each other again. As old school as I am, I assumed that when the lovemaking came, we  were expressing our love and devotion for each other. But, I guess this wasn't the case. But, I do not want to give up on us. He knows I grow jealous of other girls laying romantic claims on him. But, I am not really jealous. If he chooses to be with someone else, I will back off happily. But, I do not understand all the lovemaking and all the confessions of undying love for each other. I mean it. I don't think he does. I am going to put it out in black and white for him tonight and propose to him. Should I go ahead with it? Would you appreaciate it if the girl made the first move? 







Avery says...

I’m an INTJ female, so it is possible my experience differs somewhat from the male, but here’s my perspective. You’ve known each other three months? In the sceme of things, it seems like you two probably have a lot of learning to do, about yourselves and about each other. If he’s mentioning other girls, either he’s a jerk, or he’s having legitimate concerns about the viability of your relationship. Either way, that’s not the foundation of a marriage. As an INTJ, it is somewhat unlikely that he would take offense to you waiving tradition and proposing to him, but if you are doing so out of fear, then the many other considerations that go into a commitment of that proportion, compatability, finances, plans for the future, etc. are likely not going to be fleshed out properly. Would you rather risk losing him now because one or both of you are unhappy/unsatisfied, or are you going to rush tying the knot and maybe end up having to go through a lengthy legal separation, the outcome of which is far less likely to end on friendly terms? At the end of the day, only you two understand your relationship fully enough to make these decisions in an informed manner. I hope that helps.

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