I am a male INTP and I have come to the conclusion that no one is ever going to understand me except another INTP. Trouble is, there aren't that many female INTPs. Where can I meet one?

Comments

Guest (not verified) says...

At the gym

Guest (not verified) says...

Don't stress about the difficulties in finding a female INTP - perhaps two INTP's may not even work in a relationship. I am an ESFJ female married to an INTP male and we have been married happily for 30 years. To be honest I don't really know how it works as we are opposite in all the categories. However we complement each other and, funny enough, in the Myer Briggs book I have, it actually mentions our two personality types as being very compatable. Everyone generally says "opposites attract" - we are living proof of that!

ABrune892 (not verified) says...

You guys actually aren't as different as you'd think... When it comes to the functions you guys are the opposite of opposite, you share all the same 4 functions but in reverse order.

The functions are:

Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Extroverted Thinking (Te)

Introverted iNtuition (Ni)

Extroverted iNtuition (Ne)

Introverted Sensing (Si)

Extroverted Sensing (Se)

Introverted Feeling (Fi)

Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

 

INTP's function stack is

Ti, Ne, Si, Fe

ESFJ function stack is

Fe, Si, Ne, Ti

Guest (not verified) says...

As an INTP female, I suggest that(since we're quite rare) your best bet would be to find an ENTP female if you really want someone similar to you. I find that ENTPs (really all other NTs) tend to bring out the very best in me once we become friends. I mean obviously every INTP is a little different and every ENTP is a little different but ENTPs are far easier to recognize due to their extroversion. I know that I don't often make myself known, I'm usually very quiet. INTPs are definitely harder to find. However, a great way to find other NTs is by taking an engineering class or joining a robotics team or something! That's how I met most of the other NTs that I know.

Sparkly Hobos in a Hat (not verified) says...

That's kinda hard since this is a rare personality, I also have this personality. I tried this with my female friends and they got the common personalities though, I totally forgot what they have but I know they don't have this one. In my opinion as a female I would say that is quite hard, I'm antisocial (I'm 16 so all I do is stay inside, play video games, and surf the internet) but I think you should describe what you want in the girl so I know what you're interested in.

Guest (not verified) says...

Sounds like my kind of person. It's the same behaviour I exhibit mostly.

Gius (not verified) says...

"All i do is stay inside, play video games, and surf the internet".

Me too.

I'm also a female INTP. All i'm gonna say is, if anyone wants an INTP girlfriend, good luck. I think we're all holed up in our houses, playing Ni No Kuni Wrath of the White Witch and eating off brand cheese-its at 3 am when we have classes in about 6 hours. Or reading Undertale comics and fangirling over Sans. Or making snarky youtube comments to people making theories about a game/anime that they never watched/played.

God, i hope someone on here knows what i'm talking about so i don't sound like a total pleb.

Guest (not verified) says...

Don't worry, you are definitely not the only one. I'm a female INTP too and I pretty much just stay at home as much as I can, surfing the Internet or reading. And your comment about being up at 3 am is totally accurate, I'm actually writing this at about 12:30 and I have classes tomorrow. Good luck to the person who originally commented, I hope you find your special someone.

jenphan says...

You can try a book store, or library...

Guest (not verified) says...

Well, I'm a female INTP and I have the same feeling...that I may not get along that well with anyone other than a fellow INTP... I'd love to meet someone that would share my enthusiasm for new ideas and theories, or who would at least consider me interesting and original instead of strange in some way. I have no idea how to meet a male INTP though. I was hoping that I could find a Pittsburgh meet up group of some type. I'm welcome to ideas on how to meet a male INTP...guess I could try frequenting Border's bookstore a little more often but I suspect it may take a lot of time before the man of my dreams reaches for the same book as me and we stumble onto conversation. I simply don't have time to live at a place like this and there isn't another book store close by. I'm divorced and this would be my second time around. I wonder if there are any dating sites set up by personality type. Let me know if you know of one.

Guest (not verified) says...

There is typetango.com but it kind of looks like it was made in 1994...someone needs to start a new site for dating by personality types!

Guest (not verified) says...

I'm an INTP female  I dated an ENTP male and we had awesome conversations , He found my ideas and theories interesting and could join right in. But for some reason when I have a strong mental connect my physical attraction wanes , I think I'm more attracted to someone who challenges me. They don't need to get me ! 

 

Guest (not verified) says...

If it is not easy to be INTP man then imagine what means to be an INTP woman....

ladyprof44 (not verified) says...

Amen to that!

Darek (not verified) says...

How is life harder for an INTP woman?
At least women are not pressured to go out and approach some men. Not pressured to initiate and organize every date/meeting. Not pressured to "create a sexual vibe" soon or lose the man FOREVER.

Guest (not verified) says...

My bestfriend and I are both INTP females, we find this to be quite rare as we come from a small town of roughly a couple thousand people in Scotland and we're mainly isolated from cities. Meeting her has changed my life entirely as by having someone else that views things in the exactly same way that I do is amazing. However we only met during school classes, as we are both 16 and we almost never leave the house so it would be quite difficult to meet under different circumstances.

storm.sydney says...

Female INTP here. Find INTJs. My best friend (female), my brother, and my mom are all INTJs. These are the most rewarding relationships in my life. INTJs are rarer than INTPs, but I find that I attract them more than other INTPs! I also tend to meet INFJs (same enigma applies here- they're rarer than INTPs. The rarest, in fact). I've only met one other (female) INTP. Video game conventions, Science clubs (Astronomy, Biology, etc.), LGBT clubs (I was the leader of my high school's GSA. This is also where I met the other INTP.), Environmental clubs, Metal/Extreme music concerts. I have lived in the bible belt for my entire life, so it was hard to find similar others. You really have to work to seek them out. I've found that these are the best places.

Nia (not verified) says...

Hello, INTP female here, if you're on facebook, (Note that I did not automatically assume you were on it, I can hardly stand the thing personally) then just type INTP in on there and it comes up with a pile of Groups you could join! Don't know how helpful that would be? Where is everyone from BTW?

Nia (not verified) says...

Hello, INTP female here, if you're on facebook, (Note that I did not automatically assume you were on it, I can hardly stand the thing personally) then just type INTP in on there and it comes up with a pile of Groups you could join! Don't know how helpful that would be?

Guest (not verified) says...

Female INTP here. I totally agree with you! After being in a very long and unfruitful relationship and then just casually dating for the last three years, I am beginning to think that only another INTP will truly understand me. It seems very difficult to find a guy who is as intellectual and as laid back as I am. You know, there are probably more female INTPs out there than you realize. I can guarantee you that you probably know some and don't realize that they are an INTP because they are good at blending in with other personality types.

Guest (not verified) says...

I am an INTP female and I suggest finding an ENTP because they are easier to spot. My ENTP friend brings out the best in me, and gets me out of my shell without trying. Whereas my ex boyfriend(INTP) and I had some great times but it took much longer to get to know him and it just didn't work out because we were both too introverted.

intpnerd says...

Finding an INTP female in real life situations is very difficult since only 1.7% of females are INTPs and we are even more underrepresented in social situations. The best places to find us are on the internet, a library, a bookstore, or science museum (we tend to be very interested in science). You may also be able to find us at science fiction or fantasy conventions.

Rebecca C (not verified) says...

I am a female INTP. I spend most my time at coffee shops and book stores. You will know an INTP because we will be staring off in space or frantically searching for something we think we lost, but in fact is right next to us. Where do you find INTP guys?

Guest (not verified) says...

at home smoking weed and watching The Universe on Netflix, followed by meditation. Day time job, lab tech! Good luck bumping into one. =-D

GypsyQueen says...

I'd assume that finding another INTP may not be the way to grow, or more to the point find psychological wholeness. No matter what type that enters your life, and I'm speaking for myself here as an INTP, there will always be challenges and rewards.

Guest (not verified) says...

/Rolls eyes/ Please don't tell me you give up on meeting others who just happen to not be INTPs. You can't be serious. Even if you do eventually meet a female INTP, that doesn't mean you'll get along or understand each other. Good luck on your endeavor, however.

Guest (not verified) says...

This gent's query made me smile and empathize. I'm an INTP female and have struggled most of my life to fit into a mold that just doesn't suit me. I'm far too reasonable, prefer books over people (I've been known to read books while in bars), wear headphones while working at my desk (to shut out the voices of my co-workers), and cringe at the idea of having to participate in filler conversations. Unfortunately, physically, I appear nothing like I truly am-- big boobs, curvy, wildly curly hair and a nice enough face. I've been dismissed as a bimbo by many lazily unobservant individuals. I say this with no ego: I am rarely ever not the most logical, perceptive, intelligent person in a room. I hunger to meet those who are of like mind and temperament, but my exterior appeals to the opposite; because of this, I tend to go very long periods of singledom. Luckily, I have friends who not only understand me, but who take perverse enjoyment in my dichotomy.

Guest (not verified) says...

Girl of my dreams

sanDeep (not verified) says...

Hey am an INTP male, 21 year's old. Interested in sharing your identity to me?

Guest (not verified) says...

I'm an INTP female, but I don't feel like one. I took the Myer-Briggs test six times and got the same result. I don't obsess over theories and although I get 98-100's on my science and math tests,I prefer my advanced English class along with French. I just don't get it.

Cindy360 (not verified) says...

An INTP is not just about math and science. The reason why we like theories is not because they're a part of a geeky stereotype, but because they "make sense." It's like they fit together and there's so many different ways to arrive to the "right answer" and sometimes the accepted answer is not the right answer or maybe there is no right answer. We are a type that is described as highly introverted, analytical, and creative. While I love theories and math, I only like science when it's lab work or like cooking because it's like an art (Add a bit of this, the recipe says this but you can add a bit more of this...) and I love things like literature, creative writing, music (I've played an instrument for almost five years now), foreign languages, dancing, singing, and, most importantly, I'm GOOD at all those things. Trust me, just because one part (maybe the largely misunderstood part) doesn't seem to fit you, you sound perfectly INTP to me.

Cindy360 (not verified) says...

And, just something I forgot, on the "obsess over theories" part: we don't. We can be fascinated by them, study them, find passions in them, but, generally, we're a very ADHD type and can't keep our attentions on one thing for too long. We basically exemplify the phrase "hit it and quit it". While we may like math and science in general, if we've already learned and accepted that "2+2=4", we're not going to search for the meaning of life in "2+2=4".

ch.hifza32 says...

you sound totally like me

Guest (not verified) says...

can you give me your secret

Guest (not verified) says...

Be interesting/different/weird... and they will find you.

Guest (not verified) says...

And yes, I'm an INTP female.

C (not verified) says...

I'm an INFP girl, currently in a 6 year relationship with an INTP (and getting married next month). Having a relationship with a non-INTP is not impossible, but I agree that it takes a lot of work. Obviously in my case the biggest clash was the F / T difference. An INTP can seem really cold at first to Feeling types, but if he is at least a little introspective he may be able to find little tips and tricks that help him communicate with a Feeling type.

I would have to say that being with an INTP has been a lot of work for me. I've had to progress and learn to understand him. I'm not sure I would have been able to do this if I had not been an Introvert. As far as I can tell, introverts are the best at being introspective and wanting to improve themselves and work on a relationship.

I also happen to have a Rational father, and I think this also helped me a lot in my relationship (and probably was part of the reason I was attracted to a rational).

So I guess what I mean is, don't give up. There is not "only" one personality type for you, although try to pick a smart woman capable of understanding their own shortcomings as well understanding as all the fantastic sides of being with an INTP (extremely loyal, smart, give good advice, are good at business, etc)

NinaSimone (not verified) says...

I really enjoy reading all the posts here, and only just found out my personality type. I always said that I was theory without the practical. I'm 41, and was also raised in a very strict religious(but abusive)household. I was also told that I should take accounting so that I could help my future husband out by providing extra income while taking care of my many babies. My interest in literature, music, and anything else that interested me was squashed quite thoroughly - even though one of those interests was theology(I have always had a strong interest in what learned people thought and figuring out what made people tick) because that was mainly the province of men. When my father found out I was reading up on ancient religions and new age religion, he hit the roof. haha
As far as relationships, my husband left about ten years ago and I am a single mom. Now I understand why he said that I thought he was stupid. I didn't at the time, but this does give me a clearer understanding of where my problems have been. I can't say that I have been disappointed that I have been the one to teach my kids how to think, even if I may have difficulty dealing with emotional teenage angst. I still feel like I'm having it myself, but I guess that's due to my problem with authority. Ha! It's authority's problem.

ktlynn926 (not verified) says...

I'm an INTP and I can understand where you are coming from. I'm married to an INTJ and he gets me pretty well. although I think an INTJ female is as rare as it gets. good luck on your quest ;)

Guest (not verified) says...

Hello, I am a female INTP and I have some personal experience with meeting another INTP. My husband is an ESFP and my brother in law (who I knew as a friend before he became my brother in law) is a fellow INTP. My brother in law and I have had some fascinating conversations and we are very similar in some aspects but we have also had some very nasty fights. Now I'm sure that INTPs can get along with each other just fine but there is something to be said about the phrase "opposites attract". Has anyone seen the Seinfeld episode where Seinfeld dates a woman just like him and eventually questions why he was dating someone just like himself in the first place because he hated himself? (I don't hate myself or my brother in law, I'm just trying to illustrate a point)
It helps me grow as a person to be around someone different from myself and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. It's also nice to have someone with you at parties that can easily strike up conversations with strangers!
Anyway, my point is that you should give other personalities a try. You may find another INTP and be the best of friends one moment and want to kill each other the next.

Sorry for the novel!

Cindy360 (not verified) says...

My thoughts exactly! While I'm not saying I'm not hot stuff, I wouldn't exactly want to date myself. My youngest sister is an ENTP and we really think alike but there are times when we just want to strangle each other. I feel like someone of your personality type is best friend material, not boyfriend material.

Williams (not verified) says...

I guess we are taking this personality thing too far. I know we tend to have patterns in our behaviors but this 16 personality thing is far from been proven. I really think we should just live our life and be free than allowing some test unconsciously shape our thinking processes.

Gius (not verified) says...

True. But it's chill if you don't take it too seriously.

rj.robjones6 says...

I would like to second those posters who don't restrict themselves to looking for a mirror image of their own personality type. I, for one, am an INTP male happily married to an ESTJ female. Like most relationships half the fun is in the discovery, even after 15 years we still surprise each other. If we were both INTP's I'm sure we would have been accurately forecasting what the other would do in any given situation - though it would save me from endless "which handbag/dress" every time we go out! :)

Guest (not verified) says...

This post was old but I thought I'd comment. There are a few matchmaking sites out there that use the MB type. I think one of them is project evolve but I think there are more out there. Just a suggestion. Some sites don't use the MB type but I don't understand why not. Seems to me when I instantly get along with someone I find out I there is some sort of MB connection. I'm an INTP and I've meet one ENTP and we love to have conversations. Really nice conversations that just seem to flow. Later I found out maybe why - he's an ENTP. We're just friends but I thought that was an intriguing fact when I gave him the MB test. He's the only person I know who can come up with ideas faster than I can and slips easily into concepts and ideas in a given conversation. That being said, the MB typing can be a bit over exaggerated and nothing is a guarantee for a perfect match between people. Everyone is different, but I do seem to have a lot of run ins with people who just take offense to me or what I say at times, and again, I do believe in the MB test as relevant and it offers reasons why this happens. I can't really imagine it would be that interesting to have someone exactly like as me, in a dating scenario. Funny however that recently I met an ESTJ which is like the opposite but we get along. And yes, the MB typing says we will. Lucky for me some people take the test and offer the information - but not my husband LOL. Anyway I find the MB typing funny, relevant and important all at once. Overall I feel we are somewhat dictated by our genes, and the MB test is tapping into that part of our makeup. Good thing in this day and age people can find each other online and find out a few things beforehand. Of course, after all that, who can say what holds two people together. I prefer to see it as somewhat of a beautiful mystery.

guest unicorn :) (not verified) says...

I am an INTP male. Its a fascinating experience, at age of 7 i stood and starred at the wooden pole, i remember i was thinking what are the chances of me remembering this after 10 years? seemed so insignificant but thats when things in my life started going upside down haha being an intp has gave me an interesting way of seeing the "pattern" in life and the things that happen around me. i think the challenge of intp is to let people in, the only way to accelerate this is to be honest to yourself and to others and not to be afraid to let your juices flow, for example: when camping i get sometimes bored and start making fun of myself or do something completely retarded, this is the key to be appreciated by society the way you are. never be afraid to let ppl see what is inside you, because you are the gem and only the clever ones will notice this, trust me.
going back to when i was little, i always wanted to have a different life(careful what you wish for), was fascinated by dark and mysterious things, and reality always hurts but magic does exist if you just want to see it. all the little insignificant things that i observe in life somehow come together and breeds an idea, a conclusion, or further examination... for a long time before i did not knew about my personality, i just told myself that i should attempt to appear normal to society and keep my weirdness to myself because i really wanted to blend in... never forget who you are, you never meant to "master" the system, thats intj job, you are meant to provide a new system to ppl who are looking for it.
in my opinion a lot of intp underappreciate themselves they think they are outcast and have nothing to contribute to society. they dont realise what kind of potential prodigy they can be and best way to realise that is just do it, whatever you want to be, you have the power and the only thing for you left to do is to harness it :) goodluck fellow INTP :)
(sorry "other" personality types but this might seem overwhelming but i know every true intp will get me, this is troublesome classic "inside the head" kind of being... imagine stone age- while somebody might be gathering grains and hunting, we go gather magic mushrooms to help my brothers to open their minds. )

ch.hifza32 says...

yup i agree

Guest (not verified) says...

Strangely, I meet an improbably large number of INTJ women. Not quite sure why. But I can think of only one or two INTP women I've encountered in my entire life.

DGONZO (not verified) says...

I'm an INTP female married to a INTP male. I don't think I've ever met another INTP couple though. I'd say being with another INTP has it's challenges but me and my husband could not imagine being with anyone else. We found each other at a coffee shop and probably would have never met if we didn't have mutual friends who knew each others mutual friends (they introduced us, perks of having extroverted friends).

damilolamartins87 says...

Dude think again, its a bad idea I know what I'm saying

Guest (not verified) says...

I am a 57 year year old female. Dating while young was a disaster--that was all before I knew Meyers Briggs. Single & burrowed into my home for last several years. Much less stress than dating. I wouldn't mind a male INTP companion interested in INTP pursuits, but can't really ever see marrying again. It would be nice to have a place where unicorns could meet together from time to time, chat, hike, bike, etc. just to remind ourselves that there are other living breathing people who actually understand & appreciate us.

Kelly c (not verified) says...

ok so why is there no obvious answer...lol. I am an INTP female and I think the idea of finding someone who understands me sounds like heaven. Did you ever meet one?

Mr. Vicious (not verified) says...

I  am a male, 25 years old living in Los Angeles INTP with both Assertive and Turbulent (Aka Neurotic) subtraits - but the answer to your question? Well it’s exceedingly obvious as I read through the comments on this feed:

 

If you are a fellow INTP male looking for an INTP female, simply look at this post - message one of the ladies yeah? Problem solved.

 

 

some chick on the internet (not verified) says...

brilliant! and such an obviously simple answer. I can't believe I didn't think of it myself. 

some chick on the internet (not verified) says...

lol... I know it's an old question, but, I just can't resist.  I'm the only INTP I know, I've given half my colleagues the test too, mostly because I'm trying to find another INTP, but I'm not going to tell them that. it's more fun pretending like I'm interested in their lives and "who they are". I would have thought for sure that I'd find SOMEONE. it's a hostipal for Christ's sake! and most of the ones I gave the test to are doctors. needless to say, you won't find many in the medical field, and the NT's you find in the field are usually intj or ENTx. 

you won't find us.  online you will.  you are lucky to come across us anywhere else because 1. either we don't know. I just found out this year myself. or 2.  I dunno, we don't go out much. which kinda sucks I guess. cuz I'm really cool when I'm not being lame, lol. 

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