Hey all...

32 year old female INTJ.  Diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder, and I feel trapped in my head constantly.  Not a big people person and I feel as if I'm a cynic about everything. Do these feelings ever go away? I'm constantly searching for meaning in life, and can't stand American society and the monotony of every day. I'm bored constantly. Is this normal for us, or am I alone in this as well?

 

 

Comments

Nick W (not verified) says...

You're not alone. Fellow INTJ here, I think 32 is a critical point in life where you're looking for answers but just can't seem to find the right one. It'll be rough for awhile but keep going and things will turn out right. Just never give up.

Em (not verified) says...

I hear you! Same here f/28/INTJ... What are your hobbies? I was in a similar place not too long ago. I am now exploring things to break up the monotony of everyday life. I don't think the feelings go away entirely... What helps is how we manage them. I felt a strong need to comment after your post and I'm not one to reach out. But if you would like to discuss things further,  I'm all ears! ***********@gmail.com 

Administrator says...

Note from admin: Due to privacy issues, we do not allow personal emails on the forums. We reccommend that you continue to have discussions here instead. Happy Chatting!

Elnaz (not verified) says...

Is anyone out there who can hear me?f/28 an intj im done with life why cant i have a normal life like others i have spent my whole life being trapped in my terrible thoughts i have always been depressed im always stressed out neither therapy nor medication could help me i don know what to do 

Guest (not verified) says...

You're not alone. I have felt much the same way my entire life. You may want to consider finding an outlet for your energy, meaning something to give you relief from what is in your head. You can't escape your thoughts but you can learn to channel them into a more positive vibe. Best of luck to you.

 

Risika says...

24 year old female INTJ

Hey, you're not alone. I don't know if its normal but it is something that I'm going through as well. I just am trying to give myself goals so that at least I'm working towards something, even if it's not a major jump in life.

ARGsst (not verified) says...

INTJ here. I get that way sometimes, too. The key is getting out of your head. I find that sunshine and exercise really work wonders for me. Simple solutions for a complex problem, but they work.

AGris (not verified) says...

Accept that you have almost no control over many things in life (society, politics, environment, economy, etc.). Just focus on doing what you personally can do to improve the things you do have control over. Ignore the rest. This will cut out huge swaths of things you used to worry about.

Alexandra (not verified) says...

I'm 51 and have/had the same problems. The depression has left me years ago. Train yourself to think more positive thoughts and try to find solutions to the world's problems. I still find the whole life process pretty meaningless, but are happy to be a part of it. What helped me a lot was having children, but of course this is not the solution. There must be a desire to have children. Biggest advice is to train your mind to positive thoughts and find subjects that you are interested in. I like reading about quantum physics, back packing and hiking, swimming and spinning. Find friends that are fairly simular (try some europeans ;) .

Debbie says...

As a 57 year old INTJ, I have spent a lot of time in my head analyzing everything I do and say. Now that I understand this is normal in the INTJ, I no longer view this as a mental problem as I used to do. I spent a great part of my life beating myself up for things I said and did that did not fit society's prescribed order of how things should be done and replayed things over and over in an effort to do better the next time. I have learned to Not take this negative view any longer, but give it a positive spin. I have come to realize that INTJ's naturally want to improve everything, even ourselves. However, we must keep a balance and lighten up a bit. It is OK and even healthy to improve one's self, but unhealthy to take this to the extreme of tearing one's self apart. A positive spin has helped to reduce my bouts with depression. I also change things up a bit when I feel myself sinking into these lows spots. For example, when I realized I was spiraling down emotionally due to an empty nest, I began searching for a life raft to pull me to safety. In this particular situation, I enrolled in Community College. I engaged my mind and the energy I gained from stimulating the intellect brought me back to the surface where I could find balance and happiness. I hope this helps and I wish you the best!

Josh Cook (not verified) says...

Wow! Just wow really. This shit is so crazy.... it's like you all are me lol. Anyway, 32M and just minutes ago took a test to enlighten myself, on myself, and was spot on. I'm currently facing the worst bouts of depression given some serious physical, financial and relationship issues but i do see i light at the end of the tunnel and I hope I can just make it there to see it and the same for you all!!! Good luck and bless you all

Nuview (not verified) says...

So glad to have read comments that are so familiar.  I'm F/51 and praying that the roller coaster of depression and scary emotional breakdowns will stop. It's hit all areas of my life and I'm learning to function again.  It's true that nature helps. I've experienced it and picked up gardening as a hobby.  Another good channel is education, to occupy your mental space.  I'm returning to school with millennials to challenge myself 😜   In another world and another lifetime, I would wish for a separate school for us rare personality types.  It just makes sense.   If a future bout of depression return at least I have better coping mechanisms to deal with it.  I've learned to accept it as part of my makeup.  And the hardest part is getting my mojo/ interest/ motivation/ hope/drive back again.  I'm a work in progress 

jinxia (not verified) says...

oh ,i maybe a 28/f/intj  ,i have got a deep depression monthes ago ,in my own career plan and some emotion problems, that i began to think about my own personality,and finally i go to the hospital and take 8 times MECT。Now about a month passesd ,seems like i have back to my own life,it really works,what is more,i think socical connection and some well-known your character friends or even doctor can be really helps. And you may make some little goal what is based on your true heart.you can also take some sports like swimming ,riding bikes and so on.Since you know your personality kind, you may try to balance your perfact requirement and the reality.  I  do now put spirit balance and body health 

more importent level than work and other things,treat this balance first place helps you make other things the right way.

L Turner (not verified) says...

A lot of positivity posted. I'm not that positive. I've been clinically depressed for over 20 years. I question whether being INTJ contributed to my depression or my depression has contributed to being INTJ. When I'm at my very worse,  I have little to no tolerance for other people, or myself. I manage to go through the motions of being "normal". In fact, you would probably think I was very friendly and pleasant if you met me. But, it's like I'm acting in a soap opera...I can appear very interested in what someone is saying to me, nodding and smiling, all the while I haven't heard a word they've said. I use to be very smart, but my always hovering depression has lead to anxiety and difficulty concentrating. I like being different, being one of the very few INTJs, I think most INTJs do, just sometimes I think it would easier being something else.

Patrick Harvill (not verified) says...

INTJ-A male, strongly e and f for INTJ, so I feel your pain.  We plan. We need to plan and hit our goals.  Make a fitness plan. Execute.  Make a musical skills plan.  Execute.  Make a financial plan. Execute.  Save the world sharing IN insights on Twitter and Facebook.  Stay focused on achievable goals and execute.  Don't worry about gossiping and other things we hate.  Don't worry about what you cannot control, even organizational aspects that challenge INTJs.  Revel in INTJness.  Kick ass as an INTJ.  More INTJ not less.  Make the most of what time we yet may spend.  Plan and execute step by step.  You will be awesome. Eff 'em.

m says...

Hey : ). Hope you are feeling better by now. No you are not alone. I was diagnosed with depression- don't really want to know how severe- PTSD, being an ex=cop that is not surprising at all... The difference I find, for me, is that I do not like to be labelled. Too much BS in my opinion. If you say that you are depressed, than you are; if you choose to say that you are fighting depression doesn't it sound different?

 I have a job that is not really challenging- just carrying boxes around= and I have no idea of which direction to go in life; and that is quite daunting- and there is no happy pill for it. And yes, I am bored to death. It helps me a lot to read- it challenges my current way of thinking. And smile a lot, even if your smile looks sad. Someone said long ago that there is no greater sadness than not knowing how to smile.

I was accused of being cynical quite a few times and I just take it as a compliment- it requires intelligence: we do not live in a nice world, I can still see the best of it.

This doesn't work with everyone but since we all need to stay healthy, start a physical activity: that should help you with motivation and eventually will make you feel better about yourself, Anything... try dancing, and if it feels uncomfortable keep at it, do not give up straight away. For me it is martial arts, it keeps me focused and I let the negative energy go away during class (I am not meant to hurt anyone so I relax and enjoy some ligh-hearted physical contact). It doesn't keep me fit. It keeps me sane.

If you ask me if I fit in this world, my answer is no. And I say this with a smile. I wish you all the best. What you are going through is not easy, but it gets better. Finding answers is always the hardest thing for all of us 

 

Natalie (not verified) says...

31, Female. INTJ. I would probably be clinically diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder if I was checked out, and boy am I lonely in my mind like many of you, almost always. This thread of folks feels like my tribe. Love it.

Is this "normal" for us? I think due to our natural state of mind... yes, generally speaking. The boredom of everyday life and American society that you speak of is a familiar theme for me as well. Drudgery is unbearable. What I'm processing now involves many of the suggestions posted... finding exercise for mental serenity, praying, discovering new hobbies or learning how to do something new. Take a new route to work; find the novelties in each day (the small things are more miraculous than we think if we're open to seeing it); make a game plan for leisure time or when you have a major "episode". Challenge the brain and stimulate it so we stop the downward spiral, or at least redirect it. Our greatest strengths as INTJs can become our nemeses if we let them -- I feel like I'm the master at that sometimes. We must seek to use them for good during our short life for the purpose of fulfillment. Keep on keepin' on, sister. Sometimes for me it's strengthening just to know there are those of you out there who GET. IT.

vanessaher (not verified) says...

i am infj and struggling. i find society banal but i also think it is the era we live in, commercialisation, the dumbing down of culture, less outlets for certain types, being swept up by more commercialisation, then there is nature and beauty in nature, aware ( to a degree ) living beings that share similar or same feelings and expressions, the ability to allow oneself to see these things, the beauty in the small that is so big, just mowed down by the callousness and insensitivity of people with no awareness, especially in our culture or atleast western mainstream culture ( although that also seems to have taken over other cultures ). i like focussing on an awareness of things overlooked.

intj/f/25-6 (not verified) says...

Hey,

I was a very turbulent and unsured INTJ. But I am way better now. Because you are female, I recommend you a book I recently finished and liked it.

"Women Who Run With the Wolves, Book by Clarissa Pinkola Estés"

I also found one INTJ who lives in the same city as I am. We both agree that "the depressive mood" could come quite often for us as natural.

I am way better, actually almost in perfect condition now. I'll tell you my tips. I went through some tests (not just a personality test). I got correct diagnosis for the problem  which I have had for many years without knowing why. But I know now where the problem was laid. Use all the availabe different tools you can think of to know your status.

Imagine you play with a 1000 pieces of puzzle to complete. You just didn't find the big missing pieces of puzzles. Once you found the big parts of the puzzles, you wil be fine.

Historylover says...

Also bored constantly, also can't stand the monotony of every day. I'm 22, graduated from college 3 months ago... still unemployed, have no friends, never been in a relationship. I don't know if I'm depressed or just sad. I feel as though my life will never change. I haven't had any friends since high school, and they were all idiots.  Made a few acquaintances during freshman year of college, but nothing came out of any of them. I would like to have a few friends, but more importantly I want to get married and have children. I'm scared this won't happen for me.

Engineer (not verified) says...

Like others.  wow-thats exactly me! 55M trying to fight off depression. All my life I replay everything in my head over and over. Sometimes I think it is the engineer in me trying to make/say/do everything perfectly in all aspects. I definitely get into a daily routine that kills all energy/life/hope/happiness. Im currently struggling to decide whether or not to seek professional help for the depression. My wife works in healthcare and is not supportive of any psychothetapy. My biggest worry is the lack of privacy in my health records. HIPAA allows employers with ERISA self funded health plans to receive individual health claims. I dont want anyone at my company to know I am seeing a shrink. The HR folks are worst of all and dont keep anything quiet. This is absolutely driving me worse into depression. I feel trapped and cannot get out.

Jim_ (not verified) says...

Hello,

Unfortunately we live in a society that would rather obsess over things that we don't even consider real.  Celebretity worship, partisan political sensationalism (with no concern for facts), Social Media etc.  Before I discovered that there are more people like me (us), I really questioned my sanity as I just cannot seem to understand the way people behave.  I think that this plays a major role in the prevalance of depression in our "type".  We view ourselves as damaged, unable to connect, out of touch or whatever.  I think that we should work on reframing the way we see ourselves in this world and realize that we are the ones paying attention to what is happening and the vast majority is deffective in thier preference to avoid the harsher aspects of reality.  In a sense, I think that INTJs are the last hope for a rational world.

In the end of it all though, I still suffer from depression on a regular basis.  I put my hope in Jesus Chirst and that helps a lot.  I know our type isn't known for having religious beliefs but I challange you to read the book of Matthew word for word and make a decision based on that.  That is the very challenge that changed my life.

 

Best,

Jim

Finnegan Grey says...

Hello.  I'm INTJ male in my 40's, and reviewing this thread, just want to say to those strugging, that you can certainly get through it, and if you are indeed INTJ's you are well equipped to do so, whether you realize it or not. I personally spent 10 or 12 years, in my late teens and all through my 20's figuring out who I was and learning to value it, and trust my instincts and the modes of how I viewed the world. Stop listening to what others say you must do, and what they think is important. Trust yourself. Let your strong Intuition be your guide. Follow your interests, passions and innate curiosity. Throw out your TV.  Read, explore, take classes, travel, even on short road trips, to see something new.  Allow for genuine experiences of wonder and amazement. Follow riddles that catch your attention. And let your TJ function loose, and the planning / organizing function will take you a long long way. Make a plan and implement it. Then another and another. If you follow your interests you will develop yourself, and find along the way that you are happy doing what you like. Be yourself, find what gives you energy, and you will, one by one, meet like-minded people along the way. It sounds obvious, but, when you feel you are starting at Zero, it seems like a long way to go. I know. I remember.

I do also agree with those who mention excercise.  I detest team sports, and find golf unbearably dull, but I found the physical activities that I like with endurance sports, such as hiking and cross-country skiing; camping allows my seeking out vast outdoor spaces and nature at it's most dramatic. These things make me feel truly alive and "in the moment".

Patrick Havrill is right.

Don't sell yourself short or dumb yourself down. Be the best YOU that you can be.

Finnegan Grey says...

“The soul ... has a slow and dark birth, more mysterious than the birth of the body. When the soul of a man is born in this country there are nets flung at it to hold it back from flight. …”

--James Joyce,  A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

Finnegan Grey says...

I shall try to fly by those nets.

Share your thoughts