Why We Ship Some Fictional Relationships So Hard (Blame Their Myers-Briggs)

As a writer, I of course care about plot and pacing, but there’s one thing I’m even more passionate about—the love story. Even when romance doesn’t take center stage, I wait with bated breath for those lingering glances and touches that last just a bit too long to be platonic.

And I know I’m not alone. Across Reddit threads and Facebook comments, fans like me eagerly “ship” their favorite TV and movie couples and happily fill paragraph after paragraph explaining why they are just so perfect for each other.

But why do we latch onto some fictional relationships so intensely? Is there some kind of secret sauce that makes us turn to absolute jelly when our favorite characters so much as maintain eye contact for an extra beat?

I’m here to tell you that yes, in fact, there is. It turns out that some Myers-Briggs personality combinations have such magnetic chemistry that we just can’t look away (nor would we want to). 

Cara Mia! ENTP + INFJ Couple Goals (From the Family Crypt)

Okay, so it’s not the first place you’d go looking for romance, but dark comedy The Addams Family includes a couple that represents pure relationship goals. Gomez and Morticia Addams adore one another with utter, unapologetic devotion. They’re a bit (or a lot) PDA-ish, but we don’t mind since—however odd and twisted their family may be—it’s just really nice to see a married couple with kids still so completely enamored of one another.

It turns out that shipping this pair is pretty much inevitable since, according to their Myers-Briggs types, their compatibility is off the charts. Gomez, our highly energetic and charming ENTP, enjoys spontaneous (often dangerous) hobbies, like his reckless destruction of model trains. He’s a fascinating combination of charisma and devotion to his family.

Morticia, meanwhile, is a calm, nurturing INFJ who defines gothic elegance. Despite her macabre interests, she is deeply traditional and focused on her family’s needs. She enthusiastically supports her children’s dark fascinations, including Wednesday’s pet spider!

On paper, these two personalities sound too different to be compatible. But this pairing is considered a match made in heaven. ENTPs like Gomez love to talk, while INFJs like Morticia love to listen and encourage. INFJs are attracted to people who can see all their layers, and ENTPs love to look at things and people in-depth. These two truly feel seen by the other and support each other, and that’s why it gives us all the warm fuzzies.

The Ship That Got Away: ESFP + ISTJ in La La Land

La La Land, the 2016 musical that made Damien Chazelle the youngest ever Oscar winner for Best Director, depicts two young artists pursuing their dreams. Mia wants to become an actress, and Sebastian hopes to one day own his own jazz club. Though they have a few missteps at first, they fall in love and see each other through the ups and downs of their goals and relationship. Chemistry crackles between them even in the first few negative interactions, and I still don’t think I’ve gotten over the fact that they (spoiler) don’t end up together in the end.

Why is it so heartbreaking to watch these two part ways? Let’s see what personality science has to say. 

Mia is an ESFP and, like all “Performers,” she comes to life in front of an audience. She’s empathetic and compassionate and lives spontaneously in the moment. Rejection after rejection (after rejection) doesn't knock her back.

ISTJ Sebastian prefers to work alone on his jazz. He’s a traditionalist, loyal to the purity of old jazz over the modern music he ends up playing with his friend’s band. Productive and persistent in a way that only ISTJs can be, he achieves his goal of opening his own jazz club by the end of the film.

This pairing blends two personalities fans love—the spontaneous spark with the steady anchor. They’re attracted to each other’s opposing qualities, with Mia’s wide-eyed enthusiasm helping to break down Sebastian’s rigidity, and Sebastian quite literally driving across state lines to make sure she doesn’t miss the audition that could change her life. Choosing their dreams over each other is a tough pill to swallow, even though it’s true to the artistic passion that makes them so compatible. But at least we’ll always have that dance at the observatory.

The Truth Is Out There… And So Is Their Chemistry (INFJ + ISTJ)

The X-Files was a massive pop-culture phenomenon in the 1990s, a little bit because of its inventive sci-fi storylines and terrifying monsters, and a lot because of Special Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. We loved watching the sparks fly between the believer (Mulder) and the skeptic (Scully), waiting for these two to finally admit they were head over heels for each other and live happily ever after.

You don’t tend to think of Morticia Addams and Fox Mulder having anything in common, but they are both INFJs. Mulder tends to keep to himself, helming the X-Files department all on his own until Scully joins him. He has an intense, intuition-driven drive to find out the truth about his sister’s abduction. He’s idealistic, and next to nothing can shake his belief in the impossible and his thirst to learn more.

Like La La Land’s Sebastian, Scully is an ISTJ. She’s a hard-working doctor and scientist who values order and rules, and she’s always conflicted when her alien-hunting activity means going against the higher-ups. Scully relies on facts and logic and is immediately skeptical of anything out of the ordinary. 

Despite how often they disagree, Mulder and Scully actually share a lot of common ground. They are both introverted and prefer fewer, deeper relationships and a quiet life. They are fiercely loyal to those they care about, especially each other. They balance each other out with Scully’s stability and Mulder’s vision. They push each other, but in a good way—the way the best couples do. It’s no wonder we all collectively hold our breath whenever the two of them stand close enough to be in kissing range.

The Ex-Stepbrother Ship We’ll Defend Forever (ESFJ + INFJ)

Clueless was regular sleepover viewing for me growing up, and I still like to rewatch it as an adult. It’s hilarious, has whip-smart writing and—you guessed it—a great love story. I know the ex-stepbrother thing can make the romance a little weird, but I honestly don’t care when I watch the chemistry between Cher Horowitz and Josh Lucas in this 90s teen classic. As Cher points out in the film, Josh’s mother was married for “five minutes” to Cher’s dad, and has been more of a family friend since then. When Cher finally realizes her true feelings for Josh with the lit-up fountain in the background, you want to hop up and cheer.

Cher and Josh’s personality types tell us a lot about why we’re so willing to overlook the whole mildly related thing. Cher is a quintessential ESFJ. She’s a true extravert who is naturally charming and popular. She’s self-centered, to be sure, but uses her social standing to make over an awkward classmate and help two lonely teachers find love. She also takes good care of her father, watching his diet and helping with his work. Cher takes care of people.

Josh is the third INFJ to show up in this article—in movies, and sometimes only in movies, this type is lucky in love. He’s an idealist whose goal is to make the world a better place. He cares about the environment, enjoys watching the news, and is interested in current events. Though he and Cher bicker, he has clearly forged deep connections with her and her father.

ESFJs and INFJs like Cher and Josh bring out the best in each other. They both prioritize loyalty and caring for others, and Cher takes inspiration from Josh when she becomes captain of the Pismo Beach Disaster Relief at school. Cher pushes Josh to have fun while he’s a grounded friend she can depend on. They may run into issues later down the line concerning her need for an active life and his desire for time alone to recharge, but their close bond makes me confident that they’ll be able to tackle whatever obstacles come their way.

Team Logan Forever: ISFJ + ESTP in Gilmore Girls

Whenever you get into a conversation about Gilmore Girls with a fellow fan, you inevitably end up discussing Rory Gilmore’s three great loves: Dean Forester, Jess Mariano and Logan Huntzberger. It’s a testament to this show’s excellent writing that we become such fervent followers of Team Dean, Team Jess or Team Logan—and Team Logan members are easily the most fervent of the bunch. These fans were devastated when Rory turned down Logan’s proposal toward the end of the show’s run.

Let’s dig into Rory and Logan’s personality types to shed some light on why Team Logan followers are so passionate about this pairing. 

Rory is a textbook ISFJ. She’s very methodical, with a strong adherence to routine, which we can see in her somewhat obsessive study habits and journaling. She strives for excellence and feels like the world is ending when she gets a D on a paper. She’s loyal to the traditions she has with her mother and works hard to take care of her, like when she comes home from Yale after Lorelai and Luke break up.

ESTP Logan is a charming, adventurous thrill-seeker who’s always looking for the next (probably dangerous) stunt to pull with the Life and Death Brigade at Yale. He’s effortlessly popular and has a wide circle of friends. He prefers to live in the moment rather than plan for the future. Despite seeming reckless, he comes up with smart and unconventional ideas both at the Yale Daily News and his father’s business.

ISFJ and ESTP are a classic “opposites attract” pairing where they balance out each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Like with Cher and Josh, Logan brings fun and spontaneity to the relationship while Rory provides calm and stability. Logan pushes Rory out of her comfort zone when she covers a Life and Death Brigade event for the paper, and Rory takes care of Logan after he gets injured attempting a risky stunt, which he truly values. It’s hard to say whether their opposing qualities would have created problems in their marriage. But as a member of Team Rory, I think she made the right decision in choosing herself, no matter how compatible they are.