What Your Big Five Score Shows About Your Dating Prospects

What makes some relationships work and some fall apart? Why are some people unlucky in love compared to others? These universal questions have stumped philosophers and scientists for centuries. While there's no one answer, researchers have found a few recurring patterns linking to the Big Five model.

What is the Big Five Model?

The Big Five, also known as the Five Factor, is a widely accepted personality theory favored by the scientific community. It puts forward that each person possesses varying levels of five key personality factors that influence their thoughts and behaviors.

The five facets are as follows. Note, individuals can either score high, average or low on each of these factors: 

• Openness to experience: High levels indicate someone is inventive and curious, while low levels suggest consistency and common interests.
• Conscientiousness: Here, the spectrum ranges from goal-oriented and organized to impulsive and careless.
• Extraversion: Scoring high in this means an outgoing and energetic character, while a low score indicates a preference towards solitude and reticence.
• Agreeableness: This dimension ranges from friendly and compassionate to critical and coldly rational.
• Neuroticism: High scores indicate a person is emotionally unstable and self-critical, while low scores suggest a sense of resilience and self-assuredness. 

The Big Five and Romantic Prospects 

As you can see, some scores within the Big Five have more positive associations than others. For example, high levels of Agreeableness are linked to being empathetic and having a thoughtful nature, while low levels are associated with self-absorption and manipulation.

Naturally, you can see how scoring high in Agreeableness would make someone a more inviting long-term match than someone with a low score. But don't just take our word for it. Over the years, scientists have carried out several studies to understand how individuals' big five scores impact their romantic lives. 

Before you read the below, take our Big Five test to see where you fall on the scale, then delve in to see whether the research rings true for you. 

Neuroticism

People with high Neuroticism scores tend to have troubling inner lives, often struggling with immense bouts of anxiety, low mood and stress – all of which can put a strain on their romantic experiences. One University of Michigan study, for example, found that if one spouse is neurotic, the couple is more likely to get divorced.

Given that people with high Neuroticism scores also struggle with emotional regulation, it's understandable that research shows that these individuals tend to struggle to cope after breakups, citing low levels of internal resilience. 

Conscientiousness and Agreeableness

On the flip side, having high levels of Conscientiousness and Agreeableness fosters harmonious, enduring relationships. A study involving 20,000 couples discovered that when one spouse exhibits high scores in these traits, the relationship tends to be more fulfilling and satisfying.

Delving into the underlying behaviors linked with these factors sheds light on these findings. Agreeableness, characterized by valuing social harmony, complements Conscientiousness, which is associated with optimism, goal-oriented behavior, and impulse control. Together, these traits create an appealing partner who is likely to be committed, caring, and true to their word.

Conversely, research has shown that individuals with low levels of Agreeableness and Conscientiousness are more prone to infidelity and prioritize casual relationships over commitment. Low Agreeableness scores are indicative of selfishness, while low Conscientiousness points towards impulsivity. Due to this, individuals with these traits may encounter challenges in maintaining healthy and sustainable long-term relationships.

Openness to Experience

Openness, the trait associated with intellectual curiosity, creativity and imagination, also has some interesting connotations for romantic success, but not in ways you might think. Rather than being a predictor of relationship satisfaction on its own, research has found that people tend to choose partners with similar openness scores to their own. 

On top of that, studies show that people who score high on Openness are more likely to opt out of getting married, even if they have a long-term romantic partner. It might be that, because people who score high in this trait are attracted to the unconventional, they don't place much value on the tradition of marriage. 

Extraversion

While you might first think that Extraversion – the quality of being gregarious and social – is desirable in a romantic partner, the research shows this isn't always the case. One study from 2008 found that people who score high in Extraversion are more likely to seek out casual relationships than settle down, which makes sense when we realize that people with this characteristic are innately adventure-seeking and enjoy being the center of attention. 

However, other studies disagree, finding that extraverted individuals make for great long-term partners when the trait is combined with Conscientiousness. But, without a high score in the latter, things go a bit awry. Researchers from the University of Harvard analyzed a range of married couples, finding that high Extraversion and low Conscientiousness in men predicted lower marital satisfaction for their wives.

Your Partner Might be More Similar to You Than You Think

Putting all the Big Five traits together and researching various couples, researchers have concluded that individuals often seek partners who mirror their own qualities. When we think about how relationships play out in our day-to-day lives, this seems reasonable. For example, a partner who scores extremely low on Extraversion and enjoys quiet and alone time would likely struggle to keep up with a partner high in Extraversion. 

Similarly, an individual who greatly values goal setting and stability (a combination of high Conscientiousness and low Openness) would probably not see eye to eye with an impulsive, self-centered partner, who would score low in these traits. 

Is Your Big Five Score Set in Stone? 

Before making the person you're dating take the test to see if you're a great match or berating yourself for your higher-than-desired Neuroticism score, it's crucial to note that anyone's Big Five model result can change over time. As numerous studies have shown, our big five scores partly correlate to self-esteem.

Studies show that people who feel confident in themselves and prioritize self-care tend to score lower in Neuroticism and higher in attractive traits like Conscientiousness and Agreeableness. 

While some of our preferences are genetic, the Big Five is undoubtedly influenced by both nature and nurture. The takeaway? Use your scores to better understand yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, and evaluate how you want to show up in your relationships.