TV’s Best On-Again, Off-Again Couples: Why Their Myers-Briggs Types Keep Us Wanting More

It was so cathartic when, after years of pining, Ross on Friends finally got the girl. Then devastating that, almost as soon as he got her, a hurtful pro-con list chased her away. Ross and Rachel eventually came back together, but only lasted about a year until infidelity (though that’s debatable) tore them apart once again. Over the course of 10 seasons, these two went from on-again to off-again, to on-again, to off-again enough to make our heads spin. And yet we watched, eager to know what would happen next in their rocky relationship.

As a fan, you know how frustrating it is to watch your favorite TV couple come together and fall apart over and over. But something keeps us glued to the screen—and I bet on the power of their Myers-Briggs chemistry to keep us hooked.

Lorelai Gilmore and Luke Danes: ENFP and ISTP – Gilmore Girls

While Rory Gilmore has her share of viable paramours, to me, there has only ever been one man for Lorelai: Luke Danes. In the very first scene of the pilot episode of the Gilmore Girls,  their chemistry fizzles as they argue over her insane level of coffee consumption. It’s a thrill when these two finally get together in Season 4, and devastating when they part over issues with Lorelai’s family. It’s not too long until they’re back together, but infidelity (once again, debatable) tears them apart once more. They finally reunite at the end of the show’s run, but man, was it rough getting there.

ENFP Lorelai places great value on happiness and personal freedom, which enables her to break free from the shackles of her stuffy, upper-crust life with her parents. She’s energetic, emotionally driven and imaginative—this lady makes outfits for Rory’s liquid paper bottles!. She enjoys spending time with people and certainly could not be called shy. Lorelai is endlessly nurturing in the way she cares for Rory, Luke and other members of Stars Hollow.

Luke is an ISTP, a.k.a “The Craftsman,” a fitting nickname considering how often he serves as a sort of handyman for Lorelai, fixing things around her house and helping to build a stage for a Chilton fashion show. An almost exact opposite of Lorelai, he’s a cynical loner and emotionally reserved. He uses his actions rather than his words to show loyalty to those he cares about, and is quick to act in emergencies, like when Lorelai learns her father is in the hospital.

ENFPs and ISTPs are somewhat compatible in relationships, but they have work to do. An ENFP like Lorelai can help an ISTP like Luke explore his emotions and come out of his shell, while Luke can help keep Lorelai grounded and offer practical solutions to her problems. Luke appreciates Lorelai’s vibrance and warmth while she values his directness and stability. But when Luke needs alone time to process after Emily and Richard’s vow renewal, Lorelai hounds him to work through these issues together and ends up causing their first breakup. Their wedding plans fall apart when Luke is focused on the present reality of his daughter becoming a part of his life, while Lorelai is looking toward the future. They are a fantastic couple who clearly care deeply for one another, but they’re on-again, off-again for valid reasons, which keeps us fervently watching through their ups and downs.

Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt: ESFJ and INTJ – Parks and Recreation

While initially planning out Parks and Recreation, creators Greg Daniels and Mike Schur figured that Leslie Knope would have several relationships throughout the show’s run. But once Ben Wyatt came on the scene in Season 2 and sparks started to fly, it was clear that he would be the love of Leslie’s life. It’s exquisite torture waiting until they finally kiss in Season 3, then more torture to watch them try to stay apart in Season 4. It’s tough to keep viewers interested in a happy, stable couple, though, so I guess I get why the writers had to throw a few wrenches into the works.

Leslie is a classic ESFJ—a natural leader and cares deeply about her friends. She’s energetic and good with people, showing her care for the citizens of Pawnee in her interactions with them and her staff members. She’s also extremely detail-oriented with her huge, meticulous binders for different projects. She motivates the people who work with her to care as much as she does about events like the Harvest Festival (even putting their jobs on the line) and making Pawnee a better place to live.

INTJ Ben is more introverted and tends to keep to himself. Before he’s offered the job of Assistant City Manager, he thinks that it’s not worth getting close to his colleagues since he’ll be moving on to another town soon. Though usually shy, he comes to life when it comes to passions like Game of Thrones and creating an intricate board game.

ESFJs and INTJs are so different that relationship success isn’t a guarantee. Leslie prioritizes her emotional needs while Ben faces practical reality. We can see this when Leslie refuses to leave Ben alone, even though they agreed to break up so the scandal of their relationship wouldn’t spoil her campaign for City Council. This sort of relationship pushes each partner out of their comfort zone, which could be an issue for some. But as Ron Swanson points out, Leslie and Ben like to “hold hands and jump off of cliffs together, into the great unknown.” Both deeply intelligent, they keep up with one another and use their differences to grow rather than stray apart. The conflicts they face are external—Ben’s position as her boss, Leslie’s campaign. But once they decide to throw caution to the wind, they remain a rock-solid couple to the end.

Jessica Day and Nick Miller: ENFP and INFP – New Girl

In my opinion, the first few episodes of New Girl are a little shaky. It took a while for the writers to get a handle on the characters’ personalities (particularly Jess and Winston’s) and how to best play them off each other. One thing that is apparent right away, though, is the intense chemistry between Jess and Nick. Each time their eyes meet, a charge ignites between them. When Jess pretends to be his girlfriend at a wedding, it’s already clear that these two will become the show’s will-they-won’t-they couple.

Lorelai Gilmore and Jessica Day are both ENFPs, which makes sense since they are basically cartoon characters (in the best way). Bubbly, idealistic and eccentric—girl rocks a lot of polka dots—Jess has a strong desire to help her friends and students. She can be impulsive, like when she invites her crush from school over for Thanksgiving despite having no idea how to cook a turkey. She is a straightforward communicator who uses a “feeling stick” to navigate problems in the loft.

INFP Nick is deeply introverted, often drawing into himself, especially when faced with problems. He is emotionally repressed, never knowing how to adequately reciprocate Schmidt’s friendship, like when he buys him a cookie that is not appreciated. He has a tough time being an adult in general and is lazy about paying bills. He often acts in unpredictable, imaginative ways. He’s a creative writer who needs space to develop his ideas. For all his faults, he’s a good friend to Jess and is committed to being his most authentic self.

Being only one letter apart, Jess and Nick are highly compatible. Jess encourages Nick’s writing, even when it’s objectively terrible. They have a strong connection and genuinely enjoy each other’s company (as much as Nick may argue otherwise early on). Jess’s extraversion adds excitement to their relationship while Nick often gives her grounding, albeit blunt, advice. They communicate well, which is how they realize that they are not on the same page about their future and break up. We had to spend three long years hoping these two would find their way back to each other, which they finally did in the Season 6 finale.

Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass: ENTJ and ESTP – Gossip Girl

At the beginning of Gossip Girl, Blair Waldorf has her picture-perfect boyfriend, Nate Archibald, and playboy Chuck Bass seems like a Grade-A jerk. But as the show goes on, a connection between Blair and Chuck forms that is surprisingly compelling, despite their initially being drawn together by their shared love of power and manipulation. After a while, I found myself caring more about this couple than any others on the show—including leads Serena van der Woodsen and Dan Humphrey. Throughout the series, Blair and Chuck do hurtful things to push the other away. But much to fangirls’ joy, they end up together in the series finale.

Blair is a textbook ENTJ, the “Commander” of the Myers-Briggs system. She’s a deeply intelligent strategist who loves to be in control, organizing her minions to do her bidding. She’s always planning for the future, like going to Yale, though she can act impulsively under stress (which is how she and Chuck get together in the first place). She generally seems cold and unfeeling, but sometimes opens up to those she cares about.

Chuck Bass is an ESTP who does some awful things at the beginning of the show that it seems the writers just hope we forget about. They pivoted with his character to make him more of a charming bad boy than a sexual predator. He lives in the moment, engaging in sensory pleasures. Like Blair, he is a master manipulator who navigates social crises and business challenges with cold, calculated moves. He uses his catchphrase, “I’m Chuck Bass”, to justify his entitlement. Though he grows softer over the course of the show, he remains an impulsive, action-oriented ESTP.

Blair and Chuck have a high-energy, “power couple” dynamic, ensuring that their relationship is never dull. They speak frankly with one another without getting overly emotional. They understand each other deeply in a way no one else does and occasionally allow themselves to be vulnerable to one another. Blair brings structure and long-term planning while Chuck offers adaptability and spontaneity. The combination of an ENTJ’s power and an ESTP’s charm can lead to intense physical attraction, which explains why we can’t take our eyes off these two when they come onscreen.

Elliot Reid and John “JD” Dorian: ENFP and INFJ – Scrubs

Starting out as an intern at Sacred Heart Hospital, JD is immediately infatuated with fellow intern Elliot. The two get closer and closer till they finally hook up … and then break up almost immediately. In Season 3, they attempt a “sex buddies” relationship, which also quickly falls apart. There’s always a level of tension between them, making us wonder when they might get back together.

Elliot joins Lorelai Gilmore and Jessica Day as one of television’s great female ENFPs. She’s fiercely intelligent and a dedicated, hard worker. She’s also a constant ball of insecurities and overthinking, displaying intense emotions. She often acts as the moral compass of her friend group, but she can also be selfish, like when she sleeps with JD and then jumps right into Sean’s arms, or when she sleeps with JD’s brother.

JD is an INFJ with a vivid imagination and high standards for himself, often seeking approval from Dr. Cox. He’s a compassionate doctor who cares deeply for his patients. Dr. Cox says of him in the Season 8 finale, “For the record, he was the best that ever came through this dump. John Dorian was the first and only doctor I ever met who cared as much as I do. And you can forget about him being just an exceptional physician. Because the fact of the matter is, he’s a damn exceptional person. It’s why people gravitated to him. That’s why I did. He was my friend.”

ENFP and INFJ make a highly compatible pairing, largely thanks to their shared intuitive and feeling functions. Elliot and JD are both idealists who truly want to be the best doctors they can be and make the world a better place. Like with Blair and Chuck, JD offers stability while Elliot brings spontaneity to the relationship. They feel understood by each other early in the series, and this keeps them coming back to one another. The show’s initial run ends with Elliot and JD married with a child, a perfect end for the long road they travelled together. Which is why I have no plans to watch the revival anytime soon.

Want to see how compatible your own relationship is according to personality science? Check out our Personality Type Interactions & Compatibility page, where you can explore which Myers‑Briggs types you are most (and least!) compatible with. Or head over to our free Love Match quiz to learn which personality type best describes your dream partner. We’re rooting for you!