‘Twas the night before Christmas, when feelings of holiday cheer and terrible anxiety flooded the Judger. The holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year — for the most part. But as an INFJ, my Judging component often gets tested come November and December.
Creative idealist personality types INFJ, ENFP, INFP, and ENFJ are vulnerable to life’s disappointments like any other person. Highly idealistic and with strongly developed Intuitive and Feeling traits, it’s natural for us to resolve those disappointments by using our mental and emotional resources.
For me, the word “scam” always drums up an image of a balding, pushy, used-car salesman. You know the type. He uses phrases like “deal of a lifetime!” and “I shouldn’t be doing this, but just this once …” You’re totally psyched, you did it! You wore him down! Only to sign the papers, drive the car off of the lot, and realize you’ve been hopelessly outdone. Bamboozled. You were effectively swept up in a manipulating moment and now you’re stuck with the short straw.
With Perceivers described as indecisive, freewheeling, impulsive types and Judgers described as focused, organized and dependable, you'd think that Judgers had it made. After all, the Judging side of the fence is where the lawyers, executives and Marie Kondo hang out, all pushing the "Inbox Zero" movement and telling us that radical organization is life-changing in its ability to increase productivity and lower stress.
The dirty little secret? It's actually a bit rubbish being a Judger. Here's why.
Are you a dreamer and an innovator? Do the words empathetic, compassionate, humanitarian and cooperative resonate with you? Something is just unique about the way you’re wired, right? You have a knack for being a unique visionary who sees all the potential and “ideal” things that are out there in the world.
What do an ENFP, INFP, ENFJ and INFJ have in common? According to Keirsey, they’re all Idealists. Sure, they each have their own unique styles, but deep down, they share the same core motivations: the pursuit of authentic self-expression, and the opportunity to inspire others to do the same.
ENFJs… We’re devoted, loving, hard-working and loyal to a fault. What’s not to love, right? Well, for this ENFJ, love has been … a battlefield. Like many of my fellow Teacher personality types, I tend to fall into the category of “serial monogamy.” I find myself in one relationship after the next, pushing for something lasting—even when the relationship has clear problems.
If you find yourself here on Truity reading articles and dipping your toes into the wonderful world of personality theory, chances are you have at least a cursory understanding of the Myers-Briggs personality model. I sometimes find myself reading social situations and attempting to understand others through the tenets of personality theory. I doubt I’m alone in this activity!
Imagine my surprise when I, in a family chock full of Feelers, find significant differences in how some “feel their feelings.”
If the final letter of your Myers-Briggs personality type is a J, you are a Judger. You’re a planner, scheduler, and list maker. Your opposite is the Perceiver. They tend to make decisions as they go, and might change their plans at the last minute.
As a Judger, last minute changes can be a real challenge to your balance. They’re also unavoidable. When they happen at work, you’re expected to roll with it and remain productive. That requires some coping skills. Fortunately, there are some strategies to help you handle these situations.
You’re an ENFJ, the well-known “Teacher” personality who fights for the good of your people. Whether it’s at work or in your personal life, you take the wheel when a problem needs to be resolved and have a strong moral compass that gets your passengers safely and successfully where they need to go.
Not only is leading others part of your natural talent, it’s also something that you truly love doing. Leadership roles add to your day-to-day happiness—so much so that for an ENFJ, it might be hard to imagine working a job that doesn’t embrace your natural knack for guiding others.