So you've done a personality test and the results are in: you're a Judger. If you're not too familiar with Myers and Briggs' way of describing personality, being called a Judger may sound like cause for concern. But there's no need to feel defensive! Judging, in this context, has more to do with how you approach life—not how judgmental you are.
By now, you’ve certainly heard of the term “social distancing”. In case you’ve been living under a rock, it’s a bona fide strategy for minimizing the spread of COVID-19. Guidelines for social distancing may vary based on geography, time and the severity of the situation but, ultimately, the advice is to avoid (or at least limit) in-person contact with others. Basically, it means canceling events, avoiding crowds, limiting yourself to tiny social gatherings and staying 6 feet away from others. Yes, even in the grocery store.
When you’re wholeheartedly focused on the emotions, wellbeing and needs of others, keeping relationships healthy takes special skill. In Myers-Briggs personality typing, this way of approaching relationships is called extraverted Feeling, a mental function that is focused on others and is defined by the desire to connect with others with empathy and consideration.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when feelings of holiday cheer and terrible anxiety flooded the Judger. The holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year — for the most part. But as an INFJ—one of the eight Judging types in Myers Briggs typology—my Judging component often gets tested come November and December.
Creative idealist personality types INFJ, ENFP, INFP, and ENFJ are vulnerable to life’s disappointments like any other person. Highly idealistic and with strongly developed Intuitive and Feeling traits, it’s natural for us to resolve those disappointments by using our mental and emotional resources.
For me, the word “scam” always drums up an image of a balding, pushy, used-car salesman. You know the type. He uses phrases like “deal of a lifetime!” and “I shouldn’t be doing this, but just this once …” You’re totally psyched, you did it! You wore him down! Only to sign the papers, drive the car off of the lot, and realize you’ve been hopelessly outdone. Bamboozled. You were effectively swept up in a manipulating moment and now you’re stuck with the short straw.
With Perceivers described as indecisive, freewheeling, impulsive types and Judgers described as focused, organized and dependable, you'd think that Judgers had it made. After all, the Judging side of the fence is where the lawyers, executives and Marie Kondo hang out, all pushing the "Inbox Zero" movement and telling us that radical organization is life-changing in its ability to increase productivity and lower stress.
The dirty little secret? It's actually a bit rubbish being a Judger. Here's why.
Are you a dreamer and an innovator? Do the words empathetic, compassionate, humanitarian and cooperative resonate with you? Something is just unique about the way you’re wired, right? You have a knack for being a unique visionary who sees all the potential and “ideal” things that are out there in the world.
What do an ENFP, INFP, ENFJ and INFJ have in common? According to Keirsey, they’re all Idealists. Sure, they each have their own unique styles, but deep down, they share the same core motivations: the pursuit of authentic self-expression, and the opportunity to inspire others to do the same.
ENFJs: We’re devoted, loving, hard-working and loyal to a fault. What’s not to love, right? Well, for this ENFJ, love has been… a battlefield. Like many of my fellow Teacher personality types, I tend to fall into the category of “serial monogamy.” I find myself in one relationship after the next, pushing for something lasting—even when the relationship has clear problems.
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