The INTP Female: A Highly Misunderstood Group
She might be sitting near the back of the room, near the edges. Not all the way back, because that would increase the likelihood of being called upon. She appears indifferent to her surroundings, possibly indulged in a new book or theory (or most likely having a long-winded argument against herself).
Her calm demeanor and simple attire draws no attention to herself and others would easily pass her by. In modern lingo, she perfects the art of ‘winging it’, through caffeine boosts, last-minute inspiration, and under desperate measures: dumb luck.
Absent-minded, a bit of a klutz, and having a bad case of the Christmas Tree Brain—she’s the whole package. You can catch her finding ways to be lazy (ahem, efficient) with her tasks and somehow managing a method to her madness.
She’s also easygoing and low-maintenance: not fussy about material goods nor fancy places to eat. Microwaved meals and chicken nuggets never go out of style. It’s minimalism met with a messy twist. If you don’t pay close attention, she can easily be mistaken for a cat: loves the night, and scurries away from any signs of human contact unless free food is involved. Secret’s out, folks.
In all seriousness, INTP females can be scatterbrained and often overlooked or underestimated for our appearance and character. Our unique position in Myers and Briggs' typology gives us a flavor of candor that gets us into trouble nine times out of 10—without us ever knowing why. We’re not natural leaders—yet not followers either—more so of an independent entity. An all-around awkward walking contradiction.
Here is a (non-exhaustive) list of some common misunderstandings with us INTP females:
1. Only some are fit for the computer whiz or mad scientist life
It’s easy to doubt your type when the first few recommended careers for INTPs fall along the lines of computer programmer, microbiologist, and web developer. INTPs (as with any type) can thrive in any career as long as it sustains their interest. This is a very difficult feat.
We may gravitate toward the creative side (think: graphic design, freelance writing, music remixing), or even take a turn toward people-oriented options (psychiatry, acting, journalism). When this is intertwined with other areas that fascinate us, we get excited. Like, really, really excited.
It’s best to keep our options open and consider a multi-faceted career: day job plus contract work, complete freelance work, or a mix of several part-time jobs. The typical 9-5 is not ideal for us night owls as our inspiration and energy typically arrive in bursts.
2. We. Are. Not. Emotionless. Robots.
This is not a drill. If we hurt, and the pain stabs right to the final dark, inferior function (Extroverted Feeling - Fe), then it’ll throw us off balance, and we’ll implode. Those emotions can scare anyone, even ourselves. There’s the infamous INFJ door slam, and then there’s the INTP slow fade.
The gradual distancing is to protect ourselves from any additional damage right down to our most vulnerable parts: in the feels. That’s a realm seldom trekked due to intense precautious safety measures—being highly flammable, it may be best to maintain some distance.
3. Clueless in romance
Fine, there’s no sugarcoating this thing. We’re next to clueless when it comes to the whole lovey-dovey stuff.
An unintentionally hurtful comment that was intended as a joke. Our dry sense of humor. Or our lack of enthusiasm upon receiving something special. We don’t dress to impress. And on top of all this: we don’t crave your validation—rather, your respect.
This can translate to intense confusion with hopeful partners, which can quickly evolve into quiet tolerance or anger. However, when you’re in our good lists, you’re all set and good to go.
Welcome aboard to long-winded conversations about nothing in particular that eventually whirl out of this world. Hey, you heard it here first.
4. Being the complete societal opposite of the ‘ideal female’
The quintessential female is deemed as ESFJ: poised, diplomatic and outgoing—which throws us right into the trunk in terms of social acceptance. Not to mention: INTPs reportedly have the lowest career satisfaction rates, right down there with their free-spirited and artistic INFP cousins.
Since we’re both stuck in our heads and prone to inaction, it’s clear as day why we can have a rough time figuring out how to navigate the career sphere.
With our less-than-optimal social skills, oddly specific interests and particular dislike toward daylight, it can be excruciatingly hard to fit in with the world.
And that’s exactly where we’re mistaken. We were meant to stick out, like a sore thumb. We have hidden talents and interests which can unfold beautifully into reality—with enough belief and encouragement.
We can use our blend of logic and creativity to ideate sophisticated yet comprehensive projects, inventions, and artwork. Being hyper-aware of your strengths and weaknesses can pave a unique and unprecedented path.
5. At the end of the day, we’re still human
Robot jokes aside, our feelings run deep. So deep, that sometimes we don’t feel anything until, they erupt all at once, like a geyser, without warning.
We crave meaningful, thought-provoking conversation with level-headed individuals who aren’t afraid to poke fun at all things ‘common sense’ and discuss the depths of their skepticism. Oh, and we deeply crave affection too. Hush, now.
Final thoughts
INTP females, we’re going to be rowing counter-current and hitting a lot of walls throughout our lifetime. The pre-teen and adolescent stages are most likely to be some of our most rebellious years, but they have the potential for the greatest growth as well.
Finding your kindred spirits may take a considerable amount of effort and patience—but it’ll be well worth the wait in the end.
Try befriending people with different personalities. You can learn something new from every friend—whether that’s their stylistic flair, confidence, or undying patience.
Under times of extreme stress, make an effort to reach out and avoid isolation. This is the most important piece of advice I can offer to you all—it’ll come in handy throughout your life. Easier said than done, but absolutely critical, nonetheless.
