The Father-Daughter Relationships We Love Most, Explained by Personality Science

One of my earliest and fondest memories is of my father pushing me on the swings and singing “High, high, up in the sky” in his melodic voice, just as he’d done for my sisters before me. I also remember dancing with him to “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder on his old record player.

As someone who’s enjoyed a wonderful bond with my dad, I always get choked up when I find touching father-daughter relationships in books, movies and TV shows. These bonds aren’t always based on blood, but they always exhibit the kind of protective, unconditional love that stands firm through conflict, change and distance. 

To celebrate Father’s Day, I thought it would be fun (and perhaps a bit weepy, in a good way!) to analyze the Myers-Briggs types of the most tender father-daughter pairings across the fictional universe. Personality science can help to explain why they tug at our heartstrings.

Atticus and Scout Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird) – INFP and ENFP

While I enjoyed many aspects of To Kill a Mockingbird in freshman English, I was most struck by the relationship between Atticus Finch and his daughter, Scout. Their bond is an inspiring one. INFP Atticus, with his strict moral compass, is determined to stand on the side of justice no matter what society thinks. He makes things difficult for his family by taking Tom Robinson’s case, but he does it anyway because it’s the right thing to do. Scout is sometimes typed as an INFP like her father, but I think her intense curiosity and high energy make her more of an ENFP. She’s fiercely independent and asks a million questions, and chooses adventure over ladylike behavior.

Atticus helps shape Scout’s values and convictions, and you can see it in every word she says. She begins to understand that her father wouldn’t be able to respect himself if he didn’t defend Tom Robinson, and that realization shapes the sort of person she wants to become. Atticus tells Scout, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it”. The two have a nightly reading ritual, and when Scout’s teacher asks that Atticus stop teaching her, he assures Scout that he’ll keep reading with her in secret, disregarding social norms in favor of their close bond.

Jean Valjean and Cosette (Les Misérables) – ISTJ and ISFJ

I was only ten years old when I saw Les Misérables on Broadway, but that didn’t stop me from becoming completely enthralled by the relationship between Jean Valjean and Cosette, the orphan he rescues from her abusers. ISTJ Valjean cares deeply for others and is arrested for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. After escaping prison, he devotes himself to moral improvement and nurturing the potential in others. 

ISFJ Cosette is also deeply loyal and strongly attached to the past and traditions. She’s sweet and kind, and Valjean is drawn to her goodness. He serves as her loving protector from their first meeting, telling her, “Cosette shall have a father now.” They find a peaceful life together, and gentle Cosette feels safe for the first time. 

In the end, Valjean shares a final, heartbreaking goodbye with Cosette and her husband Marius, expressing his deep love and gratitude for being able to spend his last moments with them. Speaking the last line of the musical, Valjean says, “to love another person is to see the face of God.” 

Joel Miller and Ellie Williams (The Last of Us) – ISTJ and ENFP

Who would have thought that watching a post-apocalyptic zombie show during the pandemic would be so comforting? The Last of Us revolves around fungus-infected zombies and hostile humans, which is not exactly the stuff of tenderness. But at the heart of it all are grizzled survivor Joel Miller and street-smart teenager Ellie Williams, who Joel has been hired to escort across the ravaged country. 

Joel is a pragmatic ISTJ, bound by duty and determined to see his task through to the end. He works hard to ensure Ellie’s safety. ENFP Ellie, on the other hand, drives conversations with optimism and humor. Despite a rough background, she acts as a light in a dark world, is endlessly curious about old books and devoted to being her most authentic self.

Joel and Ellie's relationship is made up of profound, quiet moments that build a father-daughter bond. Over time, their relationship evolves from mistrust to deep love. Ellie breaks through Joel’s gruff exterior by reading puns, causing him to crack a rare smile. Joel comforts a distressed Ellie, calling her “baby girl” as he did with his late daughter. They discover a herd of giraffes that escaped from the zoo, and Joel looks on lovingly as Ellie feeds one, and she tells him she’ll follow him wherever he goes.

Richard and Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls) – ISTJ and ENFP

While most of us think of Gilmore Girls as a mother-daughter show, Lorelai and her father, Richard, share a fascinating connection. ISTJ Richard is a lifelong insurance man who likes the tradition of putting on a nice suit every day and going to work. He prizes structure and struggles with change. Lorelai is a quick-witted and energetic ENFP. She’s fiercely independent and is driven by her own personal code rather than society’s expectations.

The ISTJ-ENFP pairing keeps showing up, doesn’t it? Only this time, with very different results. Despite being related by blood, Richard and Lorelai need much more time to work through their issues than Joel and Ellie. Richard follows the strict rules of society, while Lorelai does the opposite. He expected Lorelai to go to Yale like he did, and has a hard time forgiving her for ruining that plan. Still, perhaps because this father and daughter are so often at odds, they have some great moments together. When Lorelai’s mother ropes Lorelai into an insufferably boring blind date, and Richard looks the other way as Lorelai escapes out her bedroom window, her “Thank you, Daddy” will create a lump in your throat. The way he recognizes Lorelai's achievement at her business school graduation with a check, along with his hope that she'll “put it toward something fun,” will also have you reaching for the tissues.

Maurice and Belle (Beauty and the Beast) – INTP and INFP

Throughout many, many rewatchings of Beauty and the Beast as a kid, I always had a soft spot for “crazy old Maurice” and his moving relationship with Belle that kicks the whole plot into motion. One of only three animated films ever nominated for the Best Picture Academy Award, this movie stands up just as well as an adult. 

Maurice is an eccentric inventor and is often lost in thought. He’s led by logic and is unbothered by the accepted, traditional way of doing things, so he reads as a textbook INTP. INFP Belle is more of an idealist. She adores books and dreams of a life beyond her little town. 

Belle doesn’t have a judgmental bone in her body, which helps her find love with the Beast despite his looks and coarse attitude. But it’s a trait we can also see in her relationship with her father. She loves his wild inventions and wilder imagination, much like her own. She’s so attached to her father that when she discovers he is imprisoned in the Beast’s castle, without hesitation, she volunteers to take his place. Maurice, in turn, shows his love for Belle as he tries to get the townsfolk to believe his stories about the Beast. Throughout the film, Maurice encourages Belle’s intellectual curiosity and unconventional nature, while she acts as his caretaker and defender.

Jim and Jane “Eleven” Hopper (Stranger Things) – ISTJ and INFP

There’s a lot to love about Stranger Things—the 80s retro vibe, the conspiracy theories, the Stephen King/Spielberg influences. But what got me emotionally invested in the show is the father-daughter chemistry between Chief of Police Jim Hopper and his eventual adopted daughter, Jane “Eleven” Hopper. 

Yet another ISTJ dad figure, Hopper is a logical thinker whose rational, by-the-book sensibilities can sometimes bump up against the supernatural happenings of Hawkins. He can come across as reserved and gruff, but is loyal and dependable, and fiercely protective of those he loves. INFP Eleven has plenty of deep, internal emotions that can be hard for her to handle. Like Hopper, she acts immediately to protect those she cares about.

One of my favorite scenes is at the very end of Season 1 when Hopper leaves Eggo waffles for Eleven, knowing that she’s still alive after a battle with the Demogorgon and vowing to take care of her. Quiet moments in Hopper’s cabin show trust growing between them, and even him simply ruffling her hair gives us all the feels. After Eleven closes the gate to the Upside Down, Hopper wraps her in a protective embrace and tells her, “You did good, kid. You did so good.” 

If that doesn’t make you want to call your dad and tell him we love him, I don’t know what will.