Enneagram and Love: What We Learned By Surveying 88,000 Enneagram Test-Takers

Ever wonder which Enneagram type pairings are the most common? How about which types are happiest single, which types are serial monogamists, and which types are most likely to pencil “LTR” into their long-term goals? So did we.

In January 2021, Truity surveyed over 88,000 users to find out more about the Enneagram types and their relationships, and the results are in. Here’s some of the most compelling data we discovered about all the types.

Overarching Trends & Analysis

  • 51% of Enneagram Twos report they are happiest in a relationship, the most of any other type.
  • Enneagram Fours are the least likely to be in a long relationship, and frequently report being happier single. Just 42% reporting being in a relationship.
  • Enneagram Fives were the most likely to be single and reported more happiness being single --65% of Fives in our sample were consciously uncoupled.
  • Enneagram Ones are the ultimate serial monogamists; they are the least likely to be single, and tend to have serious, long-term relationships. 62% reported being in a relationship.
  • Twos, Ones and Nines were common partners among all the types.

Twos are the most likely to report being happiest while in a relationship. 

Twos really prize committed romantic partnerships. Roughly 51% of claim they are happiest in relationships -- compared to happier single (42%), or mostly the same whether single or coupled (8%) -- and they are also the second most likely type to list being in a relationship as “very important.” 

Perhaps this isn’t much of a surprise. Twos are caring, warm empaths who really live to love other people -- both romantically, and as humans. Their deepest fear is to be unloved and unlovable, so it’s not shocking they feel most secure and happy within romantic relationships. 

“Romantic” Fours have short relationships and are generally happier single 

Despite being sometimes known as “The Romantic” Enneagram type, Fours don’t typically have long relationships and often report more happiness while single.

The Four is a truly fascinating case, according to our data. About 29% of Fours have never had a relationship at all (only more Fives have claimed to have zero relationships). But others of this type have a lot of relationships -- 35% have had 2-3, 8% have had 4-7, and 0.6% have had 8+ -- but they don’t always last long when they do couple off. Fours are the only type more likely to be in a relationship of less than a year than one lasting eight or more years. 

“Fours are somewhat notorious for romance, so it’s interesting that they’re at the top of the charts for both having no relationships and a lot of them—perhaps, it’s an all-or-nothing approach for this type,” says Molly Owens, Truity’s Founder and CEO. 

“The Romantic” Four is said to prize love, but also may find that real-world relationships fall short of their ideals. Our data shows this type is the second most likely to say they are happier when single (followed by the introverted Five). Because of their high expectations for partners, and a tendency toward emotional turbulence, it’s possible they have trouble sustaining a lasting relationship. 

Fives are the most likely to be single, and the happiest while they are single of all the types

Fives are most likely to be single of all the Enneagram types; a whopping 65% of Fives in our sample were consciously uncoupled. Fives were also by far the most likely to report being happy single when compared to other types; 25% said they prefer to fly solo, followed Fours at a distant second (16%).

This independent streak is certainly consistent with the Five’s personality profile as an introverted thinker who isn’t afraid to go it alone and leads with their head vs. their heart. The Five’s deepest fear is to be overpowered by neediness -- both their own, and others -- which may keep them from getting locked into relationships. They may think, ‘Who needs company when you’ve got the company of your own mind?’ The Five certainly has a fascinating one.  

Ones are the quintessential serial monogamists 

Of all the types, Ones have more relationships than average (along with Fours), and they are least likely of all types to be single (just 38% in our survey claimed to be without a partner). Surprised? So were we! 

Practical, diligent Ones, are perhaps more likely to stick it out and work at making their relationships viable, Owens theorizes. “From our other data, we also know that Ones tend to have a lot of serious relationships, and end up in many long-term relationships,” she says. “Does this mean that Ones are the ultimate serial monogamists?” Likely, yes. This type is perfectionistic and rule-following, meaning they may be better at commitment and relationship growth than other types. 

To note: Eights claimed more relationships than Ones in our survey -- but it seems Challengers spend vastly more time single, too.

Twos, Ones and Nines are common matches for all nine Enneagram types -- and not all matches are mutual

People of all Enneagram types are more likely to be coupled with Twos, Ones, and Nines. What explains this? “Nines and Twos are more common in the population when compared to other types, while Ones report that they are more likely to be in a relationship instead of single, which may account for this statistic,” added Owens. 

To take this point further, this means the coupling trends are not necessarily mutual for all types. One interesting pairing that wasn’t mutual was found between Fours and Nines. Fours are most likely to report being paired with Nines, which is a well-known Enneagram match; Fours are likely to appreciate the gentle stability of the Nine. However, Nines more commonly report being attached to Ones, Eights, and Threes, so this attraction may not be as significant for them as it is for the Four. In fact, they may prefer partners with more stability and less emotionality. 

According to our data, a lot of Fives also think they’re with Twos, but few Twos think they’re paired with Fives. This could be due to differences in behavior, says Owens. Many Fives are single, so even if they do pair up with Twos, it might not be frequently enough to register in common type-matches for Twos. 

This trend could also be due to people misunderstanding their partner’s type through incorrect analysis of their partner’s behaviors, given that “the way we see others is always through the lens of our own experience,” Owens says. For example, a partner who is warmer and more empathetic than your past partners doesn’t mean they are automatically a Two.

Here are other key findings from our survey, across all the different Enneagram types. Don’t know your type yet? Take Truity’s accurate, research-backed test here. 

Type One
  • Of our sample of Ones, 38% were single and 62% were coupled
  • Ones are most likely to be paired with Twos, Nines or other Ones
  • Least likely of all types to be single. Ones tend to have a lot of serious relationships and also tend to be in long-term relationships. Practical, serious Ones, perhaps more likely to stick it out and work hard to make their relationships work
  • Tied for the type most likely to have been with their current partner the longest (8+ years). Rule-following, perfectionistic Ones may have an easier time committing than other types
Type Two
  • Of our sample of Twos, 43% were single and 57% were coupled
  • Twos are most likely to be paired with Eights, Ones, and Nines
  • Most likely to report they are happiest in a relationship
  • Tied (with Three) with the least likely to report they are the happiest single
  • Second most likely to list being in a relationship as “very important” to them. Since they often fear not being loved, it makes sense that they would greatly prize romantic companionship
Type Three
  • Of our sample of Threes, 46% were single and 54% were coupled
  • Threes are most likely to be paired with Eights, Ones or other Threes
  • Tied (with Two) with the least likely to report they are the happiest single
  • Most likely of all the types to claim being in a relationship is “very important.” This fits with the Three’s goal-orientation, as well as their their tendency to pursue what society deems desirable 
Type Four
  • Of our sample of Fours, 57% were single and 43% were coupled
  • Fours are most likely to be paired with Nines, Ones or other Fours
  • Only type more likely to be in a relationship of less than a year than one lasting eight or more years
  • Only type to argue more about sex more than about household responsibilities/division of labor, and also most likely to have conflict about fidelity and loyalty issues
  • Second most likely type to say they are happier when single. “The Romantic” is said to prize love, but also finds that real-world relationships may fall short of their ideals, and thus sometimes don’t translate into satisfaction
  • Least likely to be in long relationships, and many have more relationships than average. Fours’ may have a tendency toward emotional turbulence, causing them to break up more frequently than other types
Type Five
  • Of our sample of Fives, 65% were single and 35% were coupled
  • Fives are most likely to be paired with Twos, Ones or Eights
  • 41% of Fives had never had a relationship before, the highest of all the types
  • Were the most likely to be single and to report more happiness being single; they are independent by nature, so they may not always feel the need for a partner 
  • Five is the least common partner type for all types (except Four), which makes sense, as they are happy single and don’t commit to LTRs  as often as other types 
Type Six
  • Of our sample of Sixes, 47% were single and 53% were coupled
  • Sixes are most likely to be paired with Nines, Twos or Ones
  • Right after Twos, Sixes are likely to say they’re happier in a relationship; prone toward anxiety and desiring loyalty, it’s possible they desire the security and safety of companionship
Type Seven
  • Of our sample of Sevens, 52% were single and 48% were coupled
  • Sevens are most likely to be paired with Twos, Ones or Sixes
  • Sevens are the second least likely to be in long relationships, and may be prone to “shiny object syndrome,” which can keep them flitting from one partner to the next
  • The Enthusiast is the most likely to say that being in a relationship or single doesn’t impact their happiness much, probably because they derive satisfaction from so many sources -- friends, hobbies, travel, etc. 
Type Eight
  • Of our sample of Eights, 49% were single and 51% were coupled
  • Eights are most likely to be paired with Twos, Ones or Nines
  • Eights claimed more relationships overall than any other type with 8% having four to seven relationships and slightly less than 1% reporting eight or more. Eights tend to be outgoing and dominant personalities, so they may engage romantically with more people (and intensely!)
Type Nine
  • Of our sample of Nines, 47% were single and 53% were coupled
  • Nines are most likely to be paired with Ones, Eights or Threes
  • Laid-back, adaptable Nines are likely to be in long relationships, and are perhaps less likely to leave a relationship because they are so agreeable and easygoing
  • One of the least likely to have had a serious relationship; this might be because they’re less assertive than other types, and don’t always know what they want
  • Tied for the type most likely to have been with their current partner the longest (8+ years). As Nines are adaptable and dislike conflict, they’d likely rather mold to a changing relationship’s changing needs instead of breaking up
Jenna Birch

Jenna Birch is a content and brand strategist for startups, entrepreneurs and VCs. Before moving into consulting, she was a prolific journalist for national magazines and websites, and author of The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life & Love (Grand Central Publishing). Her work has been published in The Washington Post, Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Harper's Bazaar, InStyle, HuffPost, and more. She lives in Ann Arbor, MI with her EXTP fiancé and the best pup around, Ollie.

Comments

HobbitMama (not verified) says...

This was absolutely fascinating! Thanks for publishing these results! - 6 married to an 8

Helen314 (not verified) says...

“Fours are somewhat notorious for romance, so it’s interesting that they’re at the top of the charts for both having no relationships and a lot of them—perhaps, it’s an all-or-nothing approach for this type.”

No, it's that _this_ is what romance is. Intense and frequent emotion.

John Maloney (not verified) says...

Fits with my history as an 8.  in long term relationship with a 1. I know a number of 5's who are happily single. I have met some 4's who report leaving relationship after it gets boring and ordinary after a short period. The book by Elizabeth Wagele "Are you my type, Am I Yours"  presents likely high attraction within gender of type.  Helen Palmer's book "the enneagram of love and work" also reports which types are more or less likely to be attracted to each other.  

Smcgee says...

This fits with my history but I see where being alone would be better for me. I say being alone but I love to help others. I am really enjoying helping others but I enjoy when I can be all by myself too. 
 

Smcgee5769@gmail.com

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