People seem to elevate certain pairings as ideal when it comes to the 16 personality types. One of these iconic match-ups is the INTP and INFJ, a combination that has been touted as ultra-compatible and bound for happiness. Some go so far as to describe this combination as the "Golden Pair," destined to be both close friends and a romance of the ages.
But what is it that makes the INTP and INFJ a Golden Pair, and why are they so compatible? A deep dive into these personality types can shed a bit of insight into why they get along—but it’s important to remember there’s always an exception to the rule.
The INTP vs. the INFJ at a glance
Looking at the INTP and the INFJ, you’ll notice the two personality types have some differences that stand out. The INTP is a Thinking type and the INFJ is a Feeling type, which is a detail that might surprise you—but not too much. While Thinking and Feeling types are a bit different from each other, the idea that opposites attract seems to prevail here, and the most important dynamics between them are a mix of similarities and differences.
While the INTP and INFJ share Introverted and iNtuitive preferences, they also have opposite functions when it comes to how they organize their lives. This organizational difference is a major pain-point for some couples but can serve as the perfect dose of balance when accompanied by other traits.
Each personality type has its own ideal for a partner, and the INTP and INFJ seem to be a yin-and-yang couple others envy. The truth is because the INTP and INFJ have so many similarities and complementary differences, the reputation of “Golden Pair” is due to basic deduction, but like anything else, no relationship is foolproof.
What makes an INTP and INFJ so compatible?
INTP, also called “The Architect,” shares a famous roster of celebrities from Albert Einstein to Charles Darwin to Abraham Lincoln. These types spend the bulk of their days drenched in thought or searching for their next intellectual pursuit. While they’re a logical type at heart, their functions, in order, are:
- Introverted Thinking
- Extraverted Intuition
- Introverted Sensing, and
- Extraverted Feeling
With their first and second functions taking the predominant role in their lives, the INTP also has moments when the Extraverted-Feeling takes hold of them, which can cause some confusion as to how to deal with and understand their emotions.
On the other hand, the INFJ’s functions are:
- Introverted Intuition
- Extraverted Feeling
- Introverted Thinking, and
- Extraverted Sensing
Famous INFJs include Mohandas Gandhi, Jane Goodall, and Florence Nightingale, which isn’t surprising since these types are known for being intuitive, emotional people who want to better humanity while remaining as authentic as possible.
If it’s all Greek to you, here’s a breakdown of the functions that work together well, as well as those that don’t.
Read more: Beginner’s Guide to the Cognitive Functions
INTP and INFJ Introverted Thinking (Ti)
The main function INTPs and INFJs will bond over is their strong Introverted Thinking, which gives them a strong sense of commonality. The Ti function means both the INTP and INFJ focus on building an internal framework of logical patterns they apply to problems or things they’re learning. The difference is the INTP’s dominant function (the main preference of being) is the Ti, while the INFJ has Ti as their tertiary function and may not use it as often as the INTP, though it’s still strong enough to come through when needed.
The INTP and INFJ will spend a lot of time banking information (i.e., concepts, abstractions, and theories) because they see these ideas as important problem-solving tools that can help them later on.
INTP and INFJ Introversion
The INTP and INFJ are both Introverted types, which means their energy is depleted from social events, while they receive energy from being alone. Because they both share this preference, INTP and INFJ get along well because they understand each others’ need for space. While an extraverted type might beg an Introvert to go out with them as a compromise, even when the Introvert is exhausted, the INTP and INFJ will both recognize and respect the others’ need for space or a good old fashioned night in.
INTP and INFJ’s Introverted iNtuition
Both the INTP and INFJ have Introverted Intuition, so their interests tend to be aligned. For example, they prefer intellectual discussions that evaluate the meaning of things or help them learn something new. Although the INTP is less comfortable sharing their feelings, the INFJ’s openness and desire to learn the true self of others will make it hard for the INTP to hide for long when they have so much in common.
Since the INTP personality demands intellectual stimulation from their relationships, it could tax an opposite personality type who prefers to keep things light. But the INFJ loves a mental challenge and prefers to get down to the nitty-gritty above all else, and in turn, curbs any of the INTP’s boredom. Meanwhile, the INTP’s love for knowledge and abstract topics is a thing of dreams for the INFJ, who often spends hours wondering about similar topics.
INFJ and INTP Extraverted Feeling
Since INFJ’s auxiliary function is Extraverted Feeling (Fe), the “Counselor” types spend a lot more time focusing on the feelings of others and how they, themselves, feel. Meanwhile, the INTP shares this function as their fourth (Inferior) function. Theywill be much less comfortable in the emotion department but still willing and able to learn.
The INFJ can teach the INTP about how to be more considerate of others and their emotions, which can enrich their lives tenfold if they’re open to it.
What makes an INTP and INFJ incompatible?
Although the INTP and INFJ have plenty of similarities, there is no perfect relationship, and they have their struggles. Some of these include the battle of opposite preferences, such as Thinking versus Feeling or Perceiving versus Judging, as well as their life goals. Since an INFJ is a humanitarian and people-centered person, the intellectual INTP may find it hard to set aside logic the INFJ doesn’t agree with for the sake of humanity.
Other struggles could include the INTP’s lack of emotion, which could affect the INFJ and their close relationships.
Pros and Cons of the INTP and INFJ relationship
Pros
- The INTP will bring the intellectual topics an INFJ craves to keep them stimulated, while the INFJ brings the dedication and the heart. This balance can keep the INTP from feeling alone and the INFJ involved in conversation.
- Both types are Introverts, so the relationship is free from pressure to overdo it when it comes to socializing.
- The INTP’s love of abstract topics and intellectual conversation is reciprocated by the INFJ.
- INFJs and INTPs share the Extraverted Feeling function, and the INTP can learn a lot by examining their partner’s use of it. The same goes from INFJ witnessing the INTP’s Introverted Thinking function.
- Because the INTP and INFJ often feel misunderstood in other relationships, their bond can help lessen these feelings of being too different.
- They may bond over their rarity since INTP makes up 3% of the general population and the INFJ accounts for 2%.
Cons
- The Thinking and Feeling differences can leave both types feeling unseen when an INFJ becomes emotional, and the INTP refuses to see why, or vice versa.
- INFJs often hold emotions in, and their infamous INFJ door slam may come out if the INTP has been a repeat offender of overlooking their partner’s emotions.
- The INTP might become too withdrawn, which will cause the INFJ to feel self-conscious about their relationship.
- INTP’s lack of emotional awareness of others can lead to mishaps, such as offending the INFJs’ friends or family without realizing it.
- The INTP’s Perceiving function might be too much for the structured INFJ at times. Because of the spontaneous nature of INTP, the disorganization might lead to occasional fights or arguments (this includes ordeals about messy living spaces).
Wrapping it up
INTP and INFJ couples have received a reputation for being the “Golden Couple,” but like any other match, they can experience difficulties in their differences. However, the INTP-INFJ match will bring plenty to celebrate and grow from, including commonalities the pair can bond over and differences they can learn from if they’re each willing to put in the work to understand each other. If they do, they certainly can become a golden match .
