7 Things INFPs Should Stop Doing if They Want to be Successful

Clinically Reviewed by Steven Melendy, PsyD. on June 06, 2017
Category: INFP

A lot of things determine how successful you'll be: the career you choose to pursue; the company you keep; the things you love doing; whether you possess a burning desire to prove other people wrong. There's no one-size-fits-all prescription. This is good, because we all define success in different ways.

For idealistic INFPs, success often means having the freedom to live a moral, beautiful, and virtuous life. Success in the conventional sense (power, prestige, money) doesn't matter as much as pursuing your passions, expressing yourself creatively, and growing without restraint.

Unfortunately for INFPs, these idealist qualities can be difficult to manage in the real world. The career fields you are naturally suited for (the arts, counseling, education) aren't always respected, and others may not understand the "higher goals" you seek to achieve. In work and in life, you are acutely aware that others are judging you against standards that clash with your value system, which cheapens the experience for you. Even if you are objectively successful, you might not feel it because success, for an INFP, feels like an all-or-nothing event. You are notoriously hard on yourself for not always living up to the standards you promote.

So how can INFPs feel successful and satisfied with their careers and lives? The answer lies in doing less, not more. If your personality test results have pointed you to the INFP type, here are seven recommendations which could help you lead an authentically successful life—whatever your goals.

#1: Stop living according to the expectations of other people

If you want to shape and live your own successful life, you will always end up disappointing someone. Parents, partners, bosses, colleagues, friends  - at some point, they will all tell you to knuckle down, get a secure job, go for the promotion, or go for some other outcome that doesn't feel right to you. Trying to meet other people's expectations is a sure-fire way to get drained, disconnected, and lost in the crowd. INFPs experience success by focusing on their own ideals, not by becoming something they're not.

It's horrible to disappoint others, especially if you are wary of conflict. But remember, it is simply not in your nature to conform. You will always be much happier being true to yourself. Dare to stop living according to other people's expectations and start living it your way instead.

#2: Stop going wide (go deep)

Being successful in life has a lot to do with clarifying what really matters to you and giving those priorities the time they deserve. You have to focus, otherwise there's a risk you will get distracted by multiple endeavors. INFPs in particular have a tendency towards the dilettante, always trying new things and getting restless easily.

While it's great to leave the door open to new possibilities, it's equally important to narrow the focus onto the one or two areas that you really care about. Successful people don't experience specializing as a restriction, but as a permission to go into the depths of a goal. Whether you have a business idea, an interesting hobby, or a potential relationship that you'd like to nurture, if you are completely dedicated to it, you stand a better chance of being successful than if your attention is scattered over several playing fields.

#3: Stop waiting for the perfect moment

Waiting around for the perfect timing to go after your goals is counterproductive and hostile to your success. That's because holding out for a stars-aligning "perfect moment" is a type of procrastination; it's a stall. As Neil Gaiman once said, "If you only write when you're inspired you may be a fairly decent poet, but you'll never be a novelist because you're going to have to make your word count today and those words aren't going to wait for you whether you're inspired or not." That piece of advice applies to anything. A bad job won't get better just because you wait around for a new boss to take over. A bad relationship won't turn into a great relationship just because you tolerate your partner's inadequacies, giving the relationship more effort than it possibly deserves.

Procrastination is an untamed beast that rages wildly in INFPs, but the fact is, you're going to have to work for your success. Why wait to start that journey? For tips and insights on dealing with procrastination, check out the Ted Talk from master procrastinator Tim Urban.  

#4: Stop believing in miracles

Believing in fate or miracles is really the desire to sweeten one of life's bitterest lessons: that if we want something to happen, we're going to wake up every day with purpose and make it happen. Success overnight is a myth. It involves a lot of hard work and effort.

Rare talent and extreme giftedness does not spare you from this unpalatable truth. Even Mozart went through years of rigorous, tedious practice before he became a master musician. If you want to be successful, you're going to have to take the game of success seriously. You'll have to go all-in at 100 percent.

#5: Stop trying to control so much

Some things in your life you can control. Most of it, you can't. That's a difficult message for an idealist INFP to handle, since you feel compelled to make the world a better place. There's a tendency to believe that you raise other people to your own high standards or control certain situations that simply cannot be influenced. And the frustrating thing is, you feel safe when you are in control and utterly exhausted when you are not. That sets you up for disappointment, because control does not really exist, except perhaps in the mind.

If, like many INFPs, you have a tendency to behave like a backseat driver, you probably need to work on balancing your high ideals with the realities of everyday life. You can certainly control your own independent destiny, but you can't control people or the minutiae of situations for your own sense of safety and worth. Without resolving this conflict, you will never feel happy or successful, and you may become paralyzed and confused about what to do with your life.

#6: Stop giving all your time to people who will not take you further

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. No matter how much you try to live life your own way, sooner or later, the people with whom you spend most of the time contribute to what you become.

For idealistic and value-driven INFPs, this presents a major problem. You tend to choose your friends carefully, looking for people whose values are very similar to your own. Like-minded people can certainly offer wise counsel and make you feel safe, but can you learn from people who share your views, opinions, and values? Will these people challenge your decisions or push you out of your comfort zone?

What you really need, is a connection with people with different perspectives whose ideas rub up against your own. These people can pressure-test your choices and nudge you off the path of least resistance towards a place where you where you can learn, grow and make a bigger difference.

#7: Stop mistrusting your instinct

As an INFP, you instinctively know when something you're doing feels wrong. You may not know why something is off in your life, but you definitely know that it is. This level of self-awareness is the reason why you learn so quickly, and why you are so open-minded and flexible in all aspects of your life. It's also the reason why you feel so out of place when ploughing a path that wasn't made for you. 

The only thing that separates a successful INFP from a less-successful INFP, is that the first person figured out when she was flogging a dead horse and trusted her gut instincts enough to try something else - even if the change seemed unfamiliar and crazy. When INFPs take action, they know immediately if their instinct was right. Your intuition is a strength that can often lead to better consequences, so give it the respect it deserves.

Final Thoughts

If your life isn't as successful as you'd like it to be right now, there's always an alternative. You can always choose to do something else. For INFPs, that usually means living in congruence with your values. Of all the 16 personality types in Myers and Briggs' typology, you have the strongest need to act authentically and will never be happy unless you are true to yourself.

Of course, there's always the possibility that your options are discouraging - at certain points, we all face moving from one set of problems to a different set of problems, none of which are particularly exhilarating. But the fact remains, you have a choice. If you stop believing that you have a choice, you automatically become a victim and feel helpless. INFPs in particular have to be careful that their idealism does not turn against them. If it does, you will never achieve goals or make changes for fear that you will never find the "perfect" career, lifestyle, creative endeavor, or person.

Ultimately, success for INFPs depends on you finding ways to honor your deeply held values while managing the constraints of everyday life. Accepting that life is full of shortcomings and compromises is difficult when you hold such lofty ideals, but it will help you to feel more effective and fulfilled. You have plenty of success qualities - self-awareness, intuition, empathy, adaptability, curiosity, open-mindedness - how you choose to apply them, is up to you.

Jayne Thompson

Jayne is a B2B tech copywriter and the editorial director here at Truity. When she’s not writing to a deadline, she’s geeking out about personality psychology and conspiracy theories. Jayne is a true ambivert, barely an INTJ, and an Enneagram One. She lives with her husband and daughters in the UK. Find Jayne at White Rose Copywriting.

More from this author...
About the Clinical Reviewer

Steven Melendy, PsyD., is a Clinical Psychologist who received his doctorate from The Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. He specializes in using evidence-based approaches in his work with individuals and groups. Steve has worked with diverse populations and in variety of a settings, from community clinics to SF General Hospital. He believes strongly in the importance of self-care, good friendships, and humor whenever possible.


Sidney (not verified) says...

Great advice.  "#7: Stop mistrusting your instinct" Has helped me the most.  

Your heart does not lie.  

Listen to it.   :-)

Russell_P (not verified) says...

Is that because your instincts are always right? or because you will just feel more settled if you go by your instincts no matter the outcome? You allow yourself to be guided by feelings welling up from the unconscious, which is a collection of all the experiences of your past (and of those whose genes you have inherited e.g. we naturally have a fear of snakes), whether you consciously remember them or not - they are a warning system. If you don't listen to your warning system, you will feel unsettled. Instincts can't always be right in a world where almost all of it is unpredictable, uncontrollable and unknowable. But I guess, gut feelings (resulting from unconscious memories) are our best guide when nothing else makes sense, because they are a source of knowledge of what has and hasn't worked in the past. Just thinking out loud and probabaly doesn't make sense. Sorry.

anna ess (not verified) says...

Russell, this makes perfect sense!!  I often ask myself the same.  I wonder if as INFPs (who are particularly sensitive to and aware of what's going on in & around us) we tend to absorb "instincts" that don't necessarily pertain to our specific situation, but get attached to them in a bid to understand & control the unknowable.  It's like sometimes we think we're being warned, when really our "unsettledness" is simply ideas and assumptions we've somewhere along the way adopted into our working blueprint because it seemed to fit at the time.  We kind of box ourselves into limitation when we're not willing to step outside our comfort zone - which I think for INFPs, especially us older ones, gets to be pretty restricted unless we make a deliberate decision to go against the INFP grain of believing our instinct has the final say in everything.
Example, I've followed my instinct into "disaster" plenty of times.  This time I'm going against my "gut" (which has a pretty deep rut of ingrained beliefs around what I'm trying) and working damn hard and confronting plenty of fear along the way... and it's going really well!  Still lots of unsettledness to conquer (even after 2.5yrs - like I said, there are lots of ingrained beliefs I'm slogging through), but I'm getting there one step at a time.   
​Sometimes we have to step out of the boat to walk on water.

K Zuy says...

[INFP-T]   yes , we actually limit ourselves by social roles and our strong beliefs , which is a Disadvantage of Fi .
i imediately change if someone i admire does something great

OneGuy (not verified) says...

What you said makes sense.  I would also like to add on to what you said about trusting your instincts regardless of outcome to feel more settled...I believe this is a big part of it and a reason I still trust my instincts even thoug they’ve been wrong in the past.  I forgot where I heard it but I remember someone saying something about how you can train or refine your instincts.  The more you trust your instincts and fail with them, the more accurate your instincts will become in the future.  So though your instincts may be wrong now, keep trusting them and eventually they will lead you down the right path. 

Clang (not verified) says...

That's a good point you have there. Thank you for 'thinking out loud'. 

Britt0311 (not verified) says...

Makes perfect sense. Thanks.

DPJ (not verified) says...

Unless you have Anxiety, then it lies very often.

charlee (not verified) says...

Thank you for this article. I soooooo neeeded to read this. Blessings

Ronel (not verified) says...

#5 Was something I learned the past year. It is difficult to let go and not to control. But when you succeed, you are free to become more.

Thank you for the article.

K Zuy says...

Could you give me an example ?

matic_mirko says...

This article has some deepness and initiated me on thinking. I suppose it is difficult to write for some other personal character type,but I'm persuaded that Jayne understands quite good INFPs.  As INFP I experienced #3,#5, #7 in my life.In Final thoughts I really recognized myself. @Jayne,thank you for this article.

Derick Harris (not verified) says...

I am currently in a career transition and this article (especially tips 1, 2, and 7) has been very helpful.


K Zuy says...

i'm a young student and i think i can't follow #1 

nicole.yong (not verified) says...

agree . i feel the same too. it isnt gonna be easy 

Valdev (not verified) says...

very, very interesting...We all made in God's image. I know I box myself in with limitation, but am still in deniel.  I must say, we have beautiful hearts, I tend to wait for the perfect moment, subconciously, but this has given me much hope.

Zlaty (not verified) says...

Thanks so much for this helpful and inspirational article. Just by the way, INTJ is my favorite personality type!

All the best, 

A grateful INFP.

Brendan Baker (not verified) says...

This was the right text at the right time to help me solidify some hard choices I have been mulling over, specifically around whether to wholeheartedly pursue writing instead of doubling down on my existing legal career. I self-published my first novel to Amazon last year, but have felt a bit stalled out since then. This post was a great reminder that there will be no overnight miracles, and I have to keep putting in the work- but it will also all be worth it, eventually. 

Evelyn Weibel (not verified) says...

I am in terror. I am 33 next week and I am still living with my parents. I have a pet sitting business but it is not enough. I am easily exhausted- just 2 hours of child care in the morning and pet sitting till 3 is draining. I have self-published novels that have gotten nowhere. A long fantasy novel I finished in over a year is nowhere. I am finally figuring out I can't write for a living but I want to achieve my dreams. There are no jobs around here that interest me. I want to do something intellectual/creative. I want to go back to school but it's so much money. I have sort of a 'plan' but no idea if it will work. I want to live unconventionally and travel and have my own business and have a farm. This is my dream. And I want to save the world. I mean, bring democracy to the Middle East. I mean... ideal. ha. Become an intel analyst. Yes. I am interested in International Relations etc. but I don't want to live in a fast-paced world--I coudl not do it. I have to do it at my own speed. Somehow. I don't know how to fit in teh world. No wonder I hate the real world. I don't know HOW to reconcile my ideals and reality. I never fit. Even when I was a kid the thing I liked most was playing imaginary games--I had a whole horse ranch. in my mind, in the yard, in the house. I never had many friends. I always felt somethign was wrong with me. Maybe it is. But INFP really describes me. I am panicking now. I need to move out, need money. I don't know what to do. I don't want to live a life of drudgery and meaninglessness but maybe that's all there is for me. 

Hammy (not verified) says...

Hey Evelyn.. I feel you and I have been going through similar situations as you, let's chat. :) The universe is here... Life is awesome! 

Email me. 

louise_lu (not verified) says...

My dear Evelyn, I hope you come back to this page to read this reply. I have been in the same situation as you, and it feels like death I know. You are very lucky you are still young. I am 48 and still struggle with all these questions every day. I found the book "Highly Sensitive Person" by Dr. Elaine Aron SO useful - it helped me A LOT. Also the Book "Refuse to Choose" by Barbra Sher, another book that is fantastic for INFP's in a career crisis. Highly Sensitive People CANNOT cope with the real world like 'normal' people do, it is too much for them/us but they so desperately want to be out in the world nevertheless. Take baby, baby steps. Remember you are completely special/unique and give yourself lots of time to rest everyday away from the 'world' immersed in your own thoughts. I start the day by writing in a journal some simple goals that I would like to achieve and I cross them off as I do them (sometimes I struggle even to do the dishes), this helps me cope with getting through the day and makes me a little less frightened about everything. I have written down some bigger goals too but I am not sure whether I will be brave enough to reach them (and they change all the time - at the moment it is to become a reporter/writer on the refugee crisis in Europe, whereas in reality, I am actually a stay-at-home mum). If you want to study, take a few free online courses like the ones you may find on coursera.com on any and every subject you LOVE so you do not have to commit to any one thing or spend any money on it, I have done courses on Homer, modern poetry and linguistics recently - in short, do something everyday for yourself that fulfils your desire to learn new things, it will make doing the dishes a whole lot easier. Above all, the only other thing I can suggest is to have complete faith that *God* (or whatever divine energy you believe in) has everything covered and will show you the way, there is no need to worry if you put your TOTAL faith in Her/it. Easy to read but much harder to achieve! Good luck sweet girl. 

Lethu (not verified) says...

Hi sweet Evelyn :)

Guess what? You are in blog about INFPs know what that means? We will not let you get away without trying to reach out even though we are all miles apart because hey, we are born counsellors. You have mentioned that you have written a few novels....I say why not try find a publisher. I do not just think but I know you have found your passion. Being a fellow INFP I would know for a fact that you would not spend so much of your time and energy on something you did not find as definitive to who you are. I recently got advice from a bank personel that I went to for business loan enquiries, he told me this; if you chizel and polish your idea well enough it is bound to attract somebody. With that being said, erase the fear that your work is not good enough. You are a creative, with bottomless wells of ideas, trust me you can polish your work so good enough that somebody buys into it. Do not make the mistake I made, I wroke two fictional novels (it was really great stuff) and a children's book with three stories when I was in 7th, 8th and 9th grade and burnt all of those and now I wish I could revive the ashes all because I could not believe that my craft would be good enough. It will never be to late. God has you in His hand. Much love.

Jshann (not verified) says...

Evelyn, you are me and I am you, lol. What you just wrote describes me to a tee. 


Ola introvert (not verified) says...

As if you are describing my situation right now except that I was actually waiting for a miracle before I read this article  .

I thought I am intelligent and good enough to have some sort of fairy tale miracle that will turn my life into a happily ever after  Silly me ugh  

Rajahni Cunningham (not verified) says...

I'm currently living in this realm. I know how chaotic everything feels and I'm sorry you have to be facing this. I often hoped someone out there could understand but I'm also hurt by the thought of any one else having to deal with this. 

INFP person (not verified) says...

this makes me scared omg

Liv (not verified) says...

What a spot on article! Points 1-7 are all valid for me. I feel like I should write them down over and over and over again so that they're ingrained in my brain.

I suffer from indecision and right now I'm in such a state of stuckness that it feels like my soul is dying. The changes to my attitude and my dim view of the world and my future are depressing. I'm not living according to my ideal lifestyle and my life is in a state of transition and inbetween-ness both personally and professionally. Needless to say, all kinds of alarms are going off in my spirit and the unrest is manifesting itself in my attitude and outlook on life. 

I really resonate with some of the comments here. Evelyn said, "I want to live unconventionally and travel and have my own business..." she could have taken the words right out of my mouth. I'm interested in so many things but have little time to "go deep" as the article suggests. Meanwhile, I KNOW I should focus on one thing, but for some reason, I always meander to something else.

I feel like the nuances of life weigh me down. If I could, I'd take some time off and really try to focus on self-discovery and get some clarity that I feel is lost in translation as I navigate the real world. Instead, I feel bogged down by the 45-minute commute to and from work, the mindlessness of being a coordinator (ahem, admin/exec/office assistant), and the responsibilities of everyday life. I know these are things that the average person deals with (and that it's not always possible to love your job), but I really feel there's got to be a better way for me.
Did I say that I feel like my spirit is dying?

I've read so many books and articles. I've asked so many people for advice and for some reason I'm still stuck. I know it's my own fault...I should have majored in something more practical in college, I should network more, and should ask for more creative projects at work. Sometimes I feel motivated and I try to capitalize on that, but most times I feel very hopeless. Progress seems so slow and I end up feeling like 'what's the point?' I digress...

I will incorporate the advice given in this article-- because it is GOOD advice. I appreciate the list of books Louise_lou suggested, and I always welcome the opportunity for self-discovery. I'm trying to do better about moving toward the fear as well as following that little voice inside that really knows what it is that I want.

Thank you for this article and for the opportunity to share my thoughts with those who (hopefully) understand what I'm saying and "get me."





Ordnajelak (not verified) says...

This is just so accurate! I'm a 17-year-old INFP, and I just started "living my own" life away from my family (studying in another country) and following my gut to take the "big decisions" for my future. Never felt so happy than I am now! I guess it must be so hard to write an article in a deep level about another personality type... thanks for doing it :-) 

K Zuy says...

i think an Asian Guy like me can't afford it !

Lidija (not verified) says...

This article is great. As an INFP I've come to most of this conclusions myself, but this is so wonderfully summed up and explained.

#6 was a nice reminder how much I grew while connected to so many people not really similar to me.

My ex boyfriends were ESTP and ESTJ, my brother is ESTJ, my friends ENTJ. As much hard situations and missunderstandings I had with them, I also feel like I grew a lot and learned to understand different point of view.

As for career, I work in engineering field and also don't find myself much in it. I'm not too happy when I think about how successful I am, not sure what future brings and what I actually want to do in my life.

Overall, I guess it would be much easier to live a life as some other personality type, but I hope I find my way through and become happier in the future.

Thanks for beautiful article, I will keep it as a reminder. :)

Lethu (not verified) says...

He Lidija :)

When I saw engineering and how much you do not find yourself in it, I just remembered how when everyone in my hometown was banking on me studying engineering because of my grades and I knew from deep down within me that I would not do it. Nothing in it defined who I was apart from that I could use my brain. What sealed the deal for me in terms of what I was feeling was when I went for career counselling and after telling me I was really complex out of all the students in the camp, I was adviced to never take engineering. They told me I would with no doubt do well in the fiels but my heart would not be there, I should be an author, fine artist or Doctor haha. It was much easier then for me to go home and tell my mom that someone else, who was a professional had said so haha.

Chano says...

i likw this website it help me alot.

Keley (not verified) says...

#2 #3 and #5 hit me hard! I am currently in my senior year in college. I was supposed to graduate last June but I wasn't able to finish my thesis. Still fighting off my weaknesses as an INFP :'( I realized I didn't like working hard because the result of it might not end up to what I expect so I end up not doing anything but procrastinate :'(

Lethu (not verified) says...

#2 left me embarrassed haha "successful people don't experience specializing as a restriction, but as a permission to go into the depths of a goal.'' This is a take home for me. I needed to hear this. Somehow it unveiled me from this lethal notion I have carried in my life that specializing will only restrict my freedom from advancing further, so much so that I chose not to pursue my post-graduate major in chemistry because I felt like a dead-end lies ahead. I seem to fear anything that I feel will devour so much of my time that I end up missing out on the little things in life, have time pass me by and lose a sense of self. Something I honestly already feel like my 9-5 job is doing. Work 8 hours, by the time you get home you are so tired you do not even want to open an eyelid. It makes me feel like I lose the balance I am so tediously forever chasing which has also become my default excuse for not doing a lot of things and procrastinating. Sadly, that has derailed me from learning what it is that I can be reeeeally good at since I press every button, now I am stuck with a whole array of things I can do very well but afraid to commit to as I see them as restrictions in the latter. 


Kwell (not verified) says...

The tip for #5 sounds VERY dangerous. You're partly implying that we should other people let abuse/harass us, because "we can't control them anyway and we should let them live their own (bad) morals".

As for #6: "Will these people challenge your decisions or push you out of your comfort zone?"

Yes, because even if they're mostly like-minded, they will still have different opinions on certain topics. So while you're comforted that you know someone you can trust, you can still argue with them and grow from these discussions. Don't choose people with different perspectives, as these will shatter your dreams and you'll end up with #1.

Michelle (not verified) says...

Thank you so much for this information and insight. Number 6 was a lightbulb moment! "stop giving your time to people who will not take you further" also the people we spend time with that can be too much alike. Cheers!

Stephgriffin (not verified) says...

Kwell, it means we can't expect other people to change or sometimes even to understand us and we need to walk away if we are at risk of being pulled down or sidetracked for our good choices.

As far as trusting intuition - "growing in intuition" is possible, and amazing. As far as taking risks, the one we least want to suffer from is NOT having followed our intuition when it was right, in hindsight. We suffer and heaps coals on ourselves in that instance. We're courageous and can trust ourselves

Good article

Motherlode (not verified) says...

24 years here and already cried when read #1. Shit...

Tobyi (not verified) says...

Oof, that was tough love. Some very good points and a bit of a wake up call. Thank you

yusuf (not verified) says...

It cool Being Here, I have noticed the aspect of me being too imaginative sometimes...but I am really struggling with the decision on what I should do after school, al the options I have are just boring

Lucyekg (not verified) says...

Is there some kind of INFP peer support forum? I really recognise myself in this article and in so much of what people have written in the comments. I feel quite relieved that it's not just me struggling with these things! 

On paper I look successful but I know I go really wide and never deep, and I'm craving that mastery of something and an end to procrastination. It takes hard work and dedication and I'm not at all afraid of the hard work, but I'm so indecisive I can't figure out what to work hard at. I've been growing and making progress along the way but I've basically been frustrated with myself for over 10 years. I start and don't finish things and I spread myself and my energy very thin, trying to achieve all the goals I have for myself as well as take care of the people I love. I always reach that point where I'm desperate to run away and travel and be free of it all. If I didn't have to earn a living it would be fine - I'm so motivated to learn and care and create. I just struggle with that sense of feeling trapped and inadequate and unable to follow my intuition and flow because there are meetings to go to and chores to be done. I'd love to conquer that feeling and feel really proud of myself. Argh, I'm rambling. Good to share with you, thanks for reading this x 

Percell (not verified) says...

My Morning Motivator :-) I loved "stop believing in miracles"; You mean the success I've been having lately has nothing to do with "the lucky penny I found on a walk in September?"

Cheng (not verified) says...

It resonates so well. Thanks for the list and it's not the first time I'm reading this article, I'll still come back from time to time being as a self reminder. 
I'm in my 30 and I would like to give advice for young INFPs, if you're thinking to change job or change environment, do it now as young as possible! Coz when the time you get older, you might be bogged down by more commitments and responsibilities, time (age) as well. By that time you may also start telling yourself "How nice if I can.....that time." I've studied a lot of personality related info especially INFP and I was surprised to find out that the most comments/feedback received from INFPs after self reflection were "I wish I can be more outspoken", "I wish I can change my job xx years ago" and "I wish I can be more decisive and start doing..."

I think this is the potential nature pitfall for us and instead of fall into "I wish I can..", it's better to start having a short To-Do-List / Resolution List for yourself to focus on. Remember to just focus a few maybe up to 5 goals a year. Then start doing it, do it consistently and do it well. No matter you have new hobby pop out or how, you may park it into "parking lot" then back to focus on your set goals. When the time you achieve it, you will be more confident of yourself!

It's just a sharing from my own experience as I am lucky to have God to rely on, have some deep heart broken experiences that wake me up and also found an INTJ in my life to allow me see things in a more realistic way. Let's improve together and ultimately, we are always a bunch of people that make a better world (or at least more peaceful and comfortable) =)

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