6 Signs You May Be a Shy Extravert

There’s a common assumption that all Extraverts are outgoing and all Introverts are shy - but that’s not always the case. In fact, being shy and being introverted are two completely different things. There’s also a subset of extraversion where some people are shy but they still love social situations.

Confused? Read on to find out more about what makes a shy Extravert and 6 signs you might be one.

What is a shy Extravert?

To understand what a shy Extravert is, you first need to understand the difference between introversion and extraversion. 

Introversion and extraversion refer to what gives people energy. Extraverts are energized by social interactions while Introverts tend to be drained by social experiences. Introverts get their energy from alone time, but that doesn’t mean they’re shy. Similarly, Extraverts love being surrounded by people but they don’t always like to be the center of attention.

Contrary to popular belief, Extraverts aren’t always good at socializing. Shy Extraverts are people who thrive off of social experiences but who don’t necessarily have the skills they need to socialize effectively. Some shy Extraverts may find social situations awkward and try to avoid talking to new people. For instance, a shy Extravert might dislike dinner parties where they’re forced to talk closely with people but they love big concerts, crowded bars and having a big social circle.

Crucially, unlike Introverts, they need social environments to thrive. 

Still not clear on what makes a shy Extravert? Here are some scenarios to help…

1. You get excitable when you’re with people

One of the core traits of Extraverts is their ability to experience strong, positive emotions. Extraverts get excitable and enthusiastic when they’re doing things they enjoy, especially when they’re in social environments.

If you get excitable when you’re around people but you don’t necessarily need to talk to them directly, you’re probably a shy Extravert. Shy Extraverts feed off of the energy in social situations but they don’t have to actually interact with the people around them. Instead, they prefer to soak up the atmosphere.

2. You avoid being the center of attention

For shy Extraverts, being the center of attention is never the goal when socializing. Unlike other extraverted personality types, shy Extraverts prefer to be a part of the crowd rather than the main focus. They’re usually good listeners, getting energy from being a part of a social group rather than taking the role of the ring leader.

Unlike Introverts, shy Extraverts don’t feel the need to be private or socialize with only a few people. They’re happy to be in big groups, as long as they’re not being asked to tell stories and entertain everyone!

3. You share your opinions when you’re asked

While they might not be the first to speak up, shy Extraverts will tell you their opinions on any topic or issue if you ask them. One of the traits of Extraverts is their self-expression - they share their feelings easily and don’t usually keep quiet on topics that are important to them.

This contrasts with the typical introverted trait of keeping their thoughts to themselves. Shy Extraverts will tell you what they’re thinking, it might just take you asking them first. Imagine a social situation where everyone’s arguing about a controversial topic. Shy Extraverts won’t shout to make themselves heard above the crowd but if you give them the space to talk, they’ll share their opinions honestly and openly. 

4. You love being surrounded by a crowd

Another characteristic of Extraverts is their love of big crowds and busy, noisy environments. Unlike Introverts who prefer peace and quiet, shy Extraverts thrive in hectic spaces with tons of people around them.

This is one of the easiest ways to tell if you’re an Introvert or a shy Extravert. Think about the kinds of environments that you love. If you’re a fan of bustling, social environments surrounded by others, you’re probably a shy Extravert. If the idea of these spaces fills you with dread, it’s much more likely that you’re one of the introverted personality types instead.

5. You like to keep busy

Extraverts tend to be energetic and on-the-go. They like to be kept busy and always have plans in motion. Shy Extraverts are no different. 

Though shy Extraverts will rarely be making plans for public speaking, karaoke and dancing solo on a stage, they always have something brewing in their social lives. Whether it’s going to a party or heading to an exciting event, shy Extraverts tend to be buzzing with ideas for new fun things to do. These plans don’t put them front and center but they involve some kind of social element. This contrasts with introverted personality types who tend to prefer calmer pastimes and solitude.

6. You’re working on being less socially awkward

You can usually recognize shy Extraverts because they’re the ones working on their social skills. While Introverts tend to be content with spending time on their own or in small groups, shy Extraverts might feel uncomfortable with their shyness. For them, being a social butterfly doesn’t come naturally but it’s something they’re working towards or aiming for.

Shy Extraverts might be trying to work on their conversation skills or challenging themselves to start new activities that put the spotlight on them. Alternatively, you might notice shy Extraverts starting up a conversation with a stranger - even if it feels a little bit forced. These are all signs of a shy Extravert who wants to be less shy. They’re engaged and motivated to get better at socializing.

Think you’re a shy Extravert?

If these examples spoke to you, you might be a shy Extravert. Remember, not everyone who’s shy is an Introvert and not everyone who’s confident is an Extravert. The reality is a bit more nuanced than that - and that’s what makes us unique as human beings.