As with most Introverts, INFPs are a private sort, which means it can be difficult to read their most intimate feelings. Emotional and often spiritual, INFP personalities enjoy having plenty of alone time when they can reflect on the mysteries of life.
Still, despite being somewhat introspective, the reserved INFP is also very passionate about building meaningful connections with others. In fact, they are one of the most empathic personality types of the Myers and Briggs spectrum. These types spend a lot of time trying to help others find their true path in life, and show a true sense of camaraderie in every relationship they engage in.
This means that, when an INFP prizes your company, they’ll go a long way to prove their love and loyalty. They’ll try to make you see how important you are to them, even if they go about it in a very quiet and subtle way.
If this enigmatic type puzzles you, here are five ways for you to decipher if an INFP really likes you. The trick is paying attention to the nonverbal clues.
1. They sacrifice their time alone to be with you
Spending time away from the buzz of everyday life is crucial for Introverts, as they recharge by spending time alone. As any Introvert will tell you, failing to grab this precious ‘me’ time can leave them feeling grumpy and restless. With Intuition and Feeling on top of their Introversion, INFPs are often artistically inclined and will spend much of their alone time passionately engaged in some form of creative expression. Writing poems, playing an instrument, painting and so on are good ways for INFPs to work through their feelings.
What this means, is that if an INFP trades their precious alone time to be with you, that’s a strong hint they value your company highly. Make sure you validate the effort they’re making by acknowledging their presence, and telling them how you enjoy having them around.
2. They listen (and remember) everything you say
Caring and loving, INFP personalities enjoy making time for people and helping them feel at their best. Their compassionate nature makes them good listeners who value their partner’s needs.
Sitting right alongside their altruistic inclination, INFPs can also be very sensitive and need a good deal of time to think independently and express themselves. After all, INFPs are passionate about self-growth and they’re often on the lookout for new ways to feel and be better.
Therefore, if an INFP likes you, they will not only listen to you closely, but also remember tiny details about your life. Things that maybe you don’t even remember telling them about, such as what was the color of your first bicycle, or what was your favorite cartoon as a kid. It’s by listening with care that INFPs consider whether there’s compatibility for a potential romantic relationship.
In fact, before engaging in any intimate connection, an INFP will most likely want to make sure there’s a perfect match. So, they’ll try to know you at an incredibly personal level and unveil whatever you might be hiding under the surface. For some types, being gently probed and scrutinized may feel unnerving. But it’s a definite sign that your INFP likes you.
3. They are very talkative around you
Contrary to the bubbly and outgoing Extraverts, Introverts can really struggle with small talk. As an Introvert myself, I can tell you why: it feels unnecessary and often fake to us. We know that talking about the weather won’t tell us anything really interesting about you, so why bother? Yes, we might admit that small talk softens the awkwardness of first meetings, but when all we see is people talking and talking and talking, without communicating, we don’t get very excited.
If you also happen to be an Intuitive type who loves discussing big ideas, small talk can be a nightmare. INFPs are just not interested in casual chitchat. As Intuitive Feelers, they’re fascinated by human nature and wish to understand you at a deep, emotional level.
So, if an INFP really likes you, they’ll go out of their way to talk to you and engage in a meaningful conversation. It’s their way of telling you that they care and want to know you better.
4. They do small things for you
It’s often easy to spot an INFP because they’re so committed to their values. These types are the thoughtful, quiet friend who tells you about a new sustainable clothing brand, or what charity you should be donating to. Though other types sometimes interpret the INFP’s incessant search for authenticity as annoying, and dislike getting unsolicited advice, INFPs truly care about the well-being of their peers and of humanity as a whole. So, acts of service are their love language of choice.
If an INFP likes you, you might notice them starting to do small things for you. Random gestures such as sending you a loving text for no special reason, remembering how you take your coffee and ordering it for you, or even telling you the name of that song you heard on a commercial and never knew who sang it. Not only is this the INFP way of showing they care about you, they’re also simultaneously studying your reactions to their behaviors and trying to grasp whether or not you two may have something in common.
5. They open up their inner world to you
This is the ultimate sign of trust from an INFP. When this type shares a poem they wrote, their favorite song, or a movie that makes them believe in the beauty of humankind, they’re opening up their inner world to you. They’re letting you know their true, authentic selves, and they expect you to notice how much this means to them.
Remember that INFPs carefully select their friends and partners, so if they’re sharing something very personal with you, that’s a sign that they really like you and consider you to be an important person in their life. The only thing they’ll ask you in return is acknowledgment. Even if your feelings towards them aren’t mutual, be respectful and appreciate how they’ve laid bare their soul and opened up their heart.
The bottom line
It can be tricky to understand if an INFP is into you. After all, this type protects their privacy and is often too sensitive to be vocal about their feelings. Still, in the head of an INFP, the signs are so obvious! They talk about their own quirks with you, hang on your every word and are willing to trade their alone time to enjoy your company.
Though they seem quiet from the outside, INFPs have a rich and complex inner world. If you’re ready to submerge in their creative (and sometimes tempestuous) minds, you’ll find a way into their hearts.