5 Signs an INFP Likes You10 June 2020 / By Andreia Esteves Clinically Reviewed by Steven Melendy, PsyD. on June 10, 2020
As with most Introverts, INFPs are a private sort, which means it can be difficult to read their most intimate feelings. Emotional and often spiritual, INFP personalities enjoy having plenty of alone time when they can reflect on the mysteries of life.
Still, despite being somewhat introspective, the reserved INFP is also very passionate about building meaningful connections with others. In fact, they are one of the most empathic personality types of the Myers and Briggs spectrum. These types spend a lot of time trying to help others find their true path in life, and show a true sense of camaraderie in every relationship they engage in.
This means that, when an INFP prizes your company, they’ll go a long way to prove their love and loyalty. They’ll try to make you see how important you are to them, even if they go about it in a very quiet and subtle way.
If this enigmatic type puzzles you, here are five ways for you to decipher if an INFP really likes you. The trick is paying attention to the nonverbal clues.
1. They sacrifice their time alone to be with you
Spending time away from the buzz of everyday life is crucial for Introverts, as they recharge by spending time alone. As any Introvert will tell you, failing to grab this precious ‘me’ time can leave them feeling grumpy and restless. With Intuition and Feeling on top of their Introversion, INFPs are often artistically inclined and will spend much of their alone time passionately engaged in some form of creative expression. Writing poems, playing an instrument, painting and so on are good ways for INFPs to work through their feelings.
What this means, is that if an INFP trades their precious alone time to be with you, that’s a strong hint they value your company highly. Make sure you validate the effort they’re making by acknowledging their presence, and telling them how you enjoy having them around.
2. They listen (and remember) everything you say
Caring and loving, INFP personalities enjoy making time for people and helping them feel at their best. Their compassionate nature makes them good listeners who value their partner’s needs.
Sitting right alongside their altruistic inclination, INFPs can also be very sensitive and need a good deal of time to think independently and express themselves. After all, INFPs are passionate about self-growth and they’re often on the lookout for new ways to feel and be better.
Therefore, if an INFP likes you, they will not only listen to you closely, but also remember tiny details about your life. Things that maybe you don’t even remember telling them about, such as what was the color of your first bicycle, or what was your favorite cartoon as a kid. It’s by listening with care that INFPs consider whether there’s compatibility for a potential romantic relationship.
In fact, before engaging in any intimate connection, an INFP will most likely want to make sure there’s a perfect match. So, they’ll try to know you at an incredibly personal level and unveil whatever you might be hiding under the surface. For some types, being gently probed and scrutinized may feel unnerving. But it’s a definite sign that your INFP likes you.
3. They are very talkative around you
Contrary to the bubbly and outgoing Extraverts, Introverts can really struggle with small talk. As an Introvert myself, I can tell you why: it feels unnecessary and often fake to us. We know that talking about the weather won’t tell us anything really interesting about you, so why bother? Yes, we might admit that small talk softens the awkwardness of first meetings, but when all we see is people talking and talking and talking, without communicating, we don’t get very excited.
If you also happen to be an Intuitive type who loves discussing big ideas, small talk can be a nightmare. INFPs are just not interested in casual chitchat. As Intuitive Feelers, they’re fascinated by human nature and wish to understand you at a deep, emotional level.
So, if an INFP really likes you, they’ll go out of their way to talk to you and engage in a meaningful conversation. It’s their way of telling you that they care and want to know you better.
4. They do small things for you
It’s often easy to spot an INFP because they’re so committed to their values. These types are the thoughtful, quiet friend who tells you about a new sustainable clothing brand, or what charity you should be donating to. Though other types sometimes interpret the INFP’s incessant search for authenticity as annoying, and dislike getting unsolicited advice, INFPs truly care about the well-being of their peers and of humanity as a whole. So, acts of service are their love language of choice.
If an INFP likes you, you might notice them starting to do small things for you. Random gestures such as sending you a loving text for no special reason, remembering how you take your coffee and ordering it for you, or even telling you the name of that song you heard on a commercial and never knew who sang it. Not only is this the INFP way of showing they care about you, they’re also simultaneously studying your reactions to their behaviors and trying to grasp whether or not you two may have something in common.
5. They open up their inner world to you
This is the ultimate sign of trust from an INFP. When this type shares a poem they wrote, their favorite song, or a movie that makes them believe in the beauty of humankind, they’re opening up their inner world to you. They’re letting you know their true, authentic selves, and they expect you to notice how much this means to them.
Remember that INFPs carefully select their friends and partners, so if they’re sharing something very personal with you, that’s a sign that they really like you and consider you to be an important person in their life. The only thing they’ll ask you in return is acknowledgment. Even if your feelings towards them aren’t mutual, be respectful and appreciate how they’ve laid bare their soul and opened up their heart.
The bottom line
It can be tricky to understand if an INFP is into you. After all, this type protects their privacy and is often too sensitive to be vocal about their feelings. Still, in the head of an INFP, the signs are so obvious! They talk about their own quirks with you, hang on your every word and are willing to trade their alone time to enjoy your company.
Though they seem quiet from the outside, INFPs have a rich and complex inner world. If you’re ready to submerge in their creative (and sometimes tempestuous) minds, you’ll find a way into their hearts.
Rica (not verified) says...
I'm an INFP and if I like someone, I'll take initiative to invite the person out or to do stuff. When I don't like someone, I try to stay away as much as I can and will give as many excuses as I can to turn down invitations.
FemaleINTP (not verified) says...
My therapist is an INFP. Despite it being very important to her to preserve the dynamic of "therapist/client", she has managed to get across who she is, music she likes and even brief stories about her own life and her own mental health, without being an actual "friend friend".
She's grown up now, but you can see the earnestness underneath.
And she is genuinely interested in my fictional characters. She gets upset and empathises with them when I tell her about any bad (fictional) experiences they may have had! "Oh, poor, such and such." Almost like she would for a real person.
infpᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: ˚₊ (not verified) says...
right on the nose.
Andreia Esteves says...
Thank you! :)
AgentINFP (not verified) says...
As an INFP, I can confim that I have done every single one of these when I am interested in someone and they all indeed seem painfully conspicuous to me when I do them. In fact, I probably overdo it on the last one, even once I'm already in a relationship...
Andreia Esteves says...
Thanks for your comment, glad it resonated with you! :)
And yes, I feel you, being vulnerable in relationships can be really scary.
Farzad (not verified) says...
As a male INFP, I can't confirm any of these signs. maybe with not experienced infps these happen. But as they grow, infps tend to rectract much more. Number 1, infps will learn that their alone time is very precious and they rarely want to share it with anyone. Number 2 may be right, we tend to listen to you very much because we are reserved. But on the long run, because we are so drown in our inner world, we get accused so much that "you don't listen" or "you don't understand". This is so annoying to me, as I'm accused of this so many times and I tend to forget so many details about others. It's not that I don't care about others, In fact I think I do care alot about others. (obviously it's all in my head). But I feel like details are not that important in the long run. I feel like I'm tired of justifying myself to others. all that we want is calmness and a little understanding. is that a lot to ask? I think it is. then ok, it is what it is. Number 3 may be true in early stages but again on the long run, I tend to become quiet because I don't like sharing too much of myself. Too exposed and I'm on the risk of getting hurt badly. So I learned that if I talk about what I think is helpful or fun, I might get hurt. So "Be alert about that". again Number 4, I do it whenever I see something from another side. In any other case especially at early stages, I don't like to take initiative.(This gets better over time). Ohh, and again Number 5, which is such a wrong thing to do. Again there is so much risk in revealing your inner world that is immeasurable. I like to take steps, only and if only I see small steps from others which I think are respectable.
So I hope this could help others to understand infps better. becuase you don't know how much effort we put to understand others, and it's only fair to want the same from others.
Fari (not verified) says...
This is soooooo true:O
Male INFP (not verified) says...
I used to be like this too. Being a male INFP I think society teaches/forces us to close ourselves off more in order to not seem overly emotional.
Sounds like you agree with #1 even though you said you don't. The fact that we rarely share our time is exactly what shows that we like someone when we do chose to share our time.
#2 is definitely cases by case. If someone asks me to remember a detail it's 50/50. But when I like someone I'll remember things about people I didn't even know I heard before.
#3 sounds like you just don't trust someone with your feelings, which is understandable because they are very personal, or you just don't want to vulnerable. I'm trying to be more authentic and letting the people that don't like it walk out of my life. It's definitely scary, but it's also very liberating. Still feels weird going against 32 years of habitually hiding parts of me.
I don't remember 4, but 5 is definitely a "baby steps" thing, and if someone shuts down part of my world they don't get it back. I gave a poem to an ex when we were talking and she said it was too much for her at the time, we dated for a couple years but I was never able to get myself back into the headspace to write poetry for her again.
I think we all have different experiences, the male INFP experience is very different from the female experience, but even among males we cope/hide/manage our feelings and boundaries differently in order to coexist in a space where we are essentially the opposite of how society defines masculinity.
cloudy_day (not verified) says...
hey Farzad, I wonder what experiences you've had that led you to have those conclusions. It seems to me that there is fear of vulnerability from what you have said. I am also an INFP and it gives me great joy to show those that I love (in my close circle) the colourful inner world of mine. And I definitely don't do it for just anyone, as you have said, there is risk in revealing one's inner world. But how wonderful it would be if one can be fully transparent and be celebrated and accepted and loved. But if there was no safety for vulnerability, then yes, opening up oneself would be so foolish. I'd hate to misunderstand, but it sounds like you have been misunderstood often in the past, and I really hate that for you. I hope you are healing from those times of not being acknowledged or validated, and know that you can freely be you and still be loved. Hope I have not read too much (and wrongly) into what you have shared. Thanks for showing us this part of you, Farzad. You are loved.
cloudy_day (not verified) says...
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”- CS Lewis
Juzi (not verified) says...
I'm sorry to break it to you but you're not an INFP
Lisa James (not verified) says...
Consult this Relationship Doctor, I got my boyfriend back through his help, ……. You can kindly contact him, [[Robinsonbuckler11@ gmail]] .com Thank you so much!!!!!???
Amanda (not verified) says...
As a child mum would often tell people not to upset me because I would wander off on my own for hours, and she would have to go out looking for me. I agree with that, yet its because I just wanted to be on my own, and mum would nearly always speak for me because I either didn't have the confidence or didn't know how to put my thoughts into words.
I also felt different from my other siblings ( I'm the eldest) because they always had so many friends and could enter a crowd and become their best friends. I was always told that I was a loner. I loved my imagination and wondered in the countryside, loving every minute on my own!.