The 16 Personalities as Hunger Games Tributes

With the recent release of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes movie, Hunger Games fans are asking ourselves the same question we did in 2012: What would we do if we were reaped for the Games?

Who would we form alliances with? Would we make it past the Cornucopia bloodbath? Exactly how far would we go to survive?

Today, we’re taking a (satirical) look into how each of the 16 types would act if they were dropped into the Hunger Games arena. The key word here is satire – we’re poking fun at all the types and obviously an INFP tribute would not actually spend the Games writing love poetry. Or would they…

ESTP 

Boards the train on Reaping Day with an aloof expression on his face. When saying goodbye to his grieving friends and family, he comforts them with a shrug and an “It is what it is”. Goes on to charm the Capitol audience flawlessly during interviews.

Somehow escapes the Cornucopia bloodbath with three weapons, an entire pack of Smartwater, and no hiccups. Because of his looks, he is branded “Panem’s newest heartthrob”. Is sent full Italian dinners and weapon packs daily. Survives the first few days by minding his business and nibbling on fettuccine alfredo and medium-rare steak.

ISTP

Is in and out of the Cornucopia, committing unspeakable acts to make it to the arena’s perimeter alive. Decides that the ESTP is the only person she can trust. The two of them spend the Games fishing and having unexpectedly deep conversations, forming a bond that truly moves the Capitol audience.

Becomes afraid of just how much she has come to care for the ESTP and kills him off in his sleep. Carries the heavy weight of what she has done on her shoulders, refusing to form an alliance with anybody ever again. Spends the rest of the Games silently grappling with her own humanity.

ESTJ

Spends her entire life training and volunteers for the Games as a career tribute. Wants to win the games less because of survival and more out of the desire to protect her pride. Sneaks her airpods into the arena so she can kill people to her A$AP Rocky hype playlist.

Quickly finds the ENTJ and INTJ after the Cornucopia bloodbath. Forms an alliance, secretly intending to kill the others once they are the only three left. Somehow believes that she is the only one in the alliance with this plan.

ENTJ

Joins the alliance with the ESTJ and the INTJ, also planning to kill the others once they are the only three left. Uses his charisma to flirt with the ESTJ, securing his place as the last person she would kill. 

Holds a secret extensive knowledge of botanical science and slowly sneaks poisonous herbs into the INTJ’s water. Assumes that he is the only one in the alliance with this plan.

INTJ

Spends the training period making mental notes of each tribute’s strengths and weaknesses. Links up with the ENTJ and ESTJ because he believes that they are overconfident and therefore harmless. Secretly despises them both.

Also harbors a secret extensive knowledge of botanical science and is slowly poisoning the ENTJ’s water supply. To the ESTJ’s surprise, both of her allies are dead within days.

ENFJ

An audience favorite, the ENFJ is technically in an alliance with every tribute because she made so many friends during the training process and doesn't want any of them to feel left out.

Does not kill anybody because she cannot handle the idea of anybody disliking her (even if they are dead). Is somehow one of the last tributes standing, since the others keep sparing her because “she seems super sweet”.

INFJ

Gets through training by flying under everybody’s rader. Disregards the Cornucopia weapons in favor of escaping to find wood and game, and sets up camp by the only body of water in the arena. Quietly impales anybody who enters his territory with a flurry of arrows.

Becomes hyper-aware of the weight of the lives he has taken and plummets into a spiral of guilt. Writes poetry about his heavy conscience every night by the fire light.

ESFJ

Performs the pre-game interviews with such ease and charm that she begins to receive written marriage proposals with her gifts in the arena. Flees the Cornucopia immediately with nothing but a wooden stick as a weapon, hoping that nobody can tell that she does not know how to fight.

Sneaks her phone into the arena to record daily vlogs, quickly becoming a Capitol favorite. Gets the audience to send her a full Sephora care package with her provisions and records her daily skincare routine under a patch of trees. Introduces the notion of “Hunger Games influencers” to Panem.

INTP

Doesn’t really charm the audience during the pre-game interviews because of his intense staring into the cameras and erratic silence. Utilizes his knowledge of knot tying and makeshift infrastructure to build a treehouse on the corner of the arena. Stays connected to external affairs by engineering a news satellite out of sticks, rocks, and pure willpower.

Makes frequent trips to the other tributes’ camping grounds to steal supplies. Stockpiles the weapons and food for himself inside the shelter, wary of alliances.

ENTP

Understands that she is not the best fighter and compensates for it with her charm. Enamors the Capitol’s audience during the pre-game interviews, ensuring that she receives daily care packages.

Joins four different alliances for protection without actually pledging loyalty to any of them, understanding the futility of helping others in a game with only one winner. Is exposed once two of her alliance groups stumble upon each other in the woods. Flees the scene before things can get too awkward.

ISTJ

Voted “most mysterious tribute” by Panem’s Hunger Games Heartthrob magazine, the ISTJ is quiet but talented. She does not showcase any of her skills during training, but kills five different tributes during the Cornucopia bloodbath with nothing but a tree branch and an old piece of dental floss.

Prefers to work alone, but is approached by the ESTJ and offered a steady source of food if she joins her alliance. Accepts the offer partly out of practicality and partly because the ESTJ’s alliance is in shambles and she feels bad for her.

ENFP

Joins the ESTJ and ISTJ’s alliance because he thinks that they are so cool and has friend crushes on both of them. Is unaware that they strongly resent him and are plotting to kill him off at the end of the Games. Happily shares his numerous gifts from the audience with them.

Wanders off one day to make his new friends friendship bracelets with some strange plants he found in the arena’s perimeter. Realizes too late that the herbs are poisonous. The others find his body lying next to some intricately woven strands of poisonous hemlock.

INFP 

Forms a passionate forbidden romance with the ISFP before the Games, publicly declaring his love during interviews. The lovers find each other immediately after the Games begin and hide out in a romantic alcove of trees. The audience begins to root for their romance, sending them roses and bath oils along with provisions.

Writes the ISFP love poetry each night, all while hoping that the games will end without him having to kill anybody. While he is in an artistic flow state, a group of Careers happens upon the alcove and kills him – a poetically tragic death for a poetically tragic tribute. The Capitol audience is in tears.

ISFP

Sees the Games as an opportunity to get her singing career off the ground. Like a true main character, she straightens her shoulders whenever the camera is on her and launches into a rendition of “Bulletproof” by David Guetta. Presents singing as her skill during the tribute evaluation, mistaking it for a talent show. Makes the lowest score.

Forms a codependent, movie-worthy romance with the INFP. When the INFP is killed off by the Careers, she sings a heart-wrenching cover of “illicit affairs” by Taylor Swift and collapses on his body, sobbing. The killers walk away with tears in their eyes.

ESFP 

Does not join any alliances, but coasts through the Games assuming that nobody will try to kill him. He is right.

Does not know which berries are inedible because he skipped the botanical science class during training to chat up the cute tribute from District Seven. Consequently, he eats a mixture of strange berries and falls into a hallucinogenic rampage through the woods.

Comes to consciousness days later with blood and berry juice on his hands and no memory of the drug-induced destruction spree. Has somehow killed most of the remaining tributes.

ISFJ

Spends most of the Games hiding in different trees. Each night, all the other tributes wonder how she is not dead yet.

One day, while aiming for a squirrel with her bow and arrow, she impales one of the Careers, who happens to be walking through the clearing. Is overcome by guilt and places an assortment of dandelions on his body.

Leaves a basket of berries in the group of Careers’ hideout as a gift while they mourn the loss of their friend. Does not know that the berries are poisonous. Kills off the rest of the tributes, accidentally winning the Hunger Games.