ENTJs have a reputation for being emotionless and inattentive as romantic partners. But actually, they can be incredibly supportive, nurturing and sentimental in their own way! Granted, they might not be as overstated as other personality types, but ENTJs have a whole range of ways in which they show they care. 

Far from being robotic and unfeeling, ENTJs can fall in love incredibly deeply. An ENTJ in a relationship might not profess their devotion on a daily basis, but they will demonstrate their love through small, meaningful gestures. This might be a thoughtful gift, a well-timed compliment or just a hug when you need it most. 

These are just some of the traits that make ENTJs sweet and sympathetic partners, even if you might not think it at first!

1. ENTJs get behind your goals

First and foremost, ENTJs are goal-orientated. They have a natural tendency to organize the people around them, finding strategies and solutions for every problem they are met with. When it comes to their partner’s goals, ENTJs will often go above and beyond to help them achieve their aims. 

When they care about someone, ENTJs tend to take on that person’s goals as their own. This might read as controlling or overwhelming but really it is a show of affection. ENTJs want to help you do well.

They might feel a responsibility towards the goals of their family, partners and friends and regularly invest time and energy into doing everything they can to support the ones they love. Whether that’s waking you up early so you make your training session or using their network to find the connections you need, ENTJs can be hugely encouraging and nurturing. They will also work hard to motivate you along the way.

2. They go above and beyond with gifts 

Another way ENTJs put their long-term planning abilities to good use is gift giving! ENTJs can be experts at surprises and unexpected presents. Some years your birthday might feel rushed because work took priority over gift buying, but your ENTJ partner will take extra care to make it up to you on other occasions.

ENTJs can be incredibly thoughtful. It’s not unusual for ENTJs to spend weeks, even months, planning and executing an elaborate gift for someone they love. Think of a surprise box delivered to your door, filled with unique gifts that took countless back and forth emails to organize, all because they couldn’t be there for your birthday in person (guilty!).

Gift giving can be an important way for ENTJs to show affection. They enjoy taking the time to orchestrate something truly special for the ones they care about and they love seeing the end result and your reaction most of all!

3. Sometimes they make compromises

As ENTJs are known for organizing their lives in an objective, even brusque way, there’s not a lot of space for compromise in their relationships. One of the most meaningful things an ENTJ can do is change their plans to fit in with yours, prioritizing your happiness over their goals. Compromising is a big deal for ENTJs!

In relationships, ENTJs will make an extra special effort to let you take the lead when they know it’s something really important to you. They will bite their tongue and take a step back. This kind of compromise does not come naturally to most ENTJs so you can be sure that it is a show of deep respect for you. When ENTJs compromise, it is a subtle but profound expression of their love.

4. They use physical touch instead of words

On the whole when ENTJs show how much they care, it tends to be with actions rather than words. That might mean gift-giving or compromising (!) but it can also be in the form of physical touch. As ENTJs can struggle to communicate their emotions, they sometimes prefer to show their support through physical connection and closeness instead.

ENTJs often use caring gestures to express themselves, such as hugging you from behind after an argument or putting a hand on your arm when you’re talking. It might be the way they look at you when you’re surrounded by friends or the simple act of holding your hand when they know you’re sad. ENTJs aren’t big on talking about emotions but they do know when to offer their support and physical closeness is one way of doing that.

5. They give heartfelt compliments

In a relationship with an ENTJ, you may begin to feel like you’re always being critiqued. ENTJs have a habit of holding others to their extremely high standards and they can be nitpicky and impatient with their partners. Though this can be challenging in a relationship, when you do receive a compliment from an ENTJ, you know that it’s genuine.

Unlike more empathetic personality types who readily compliment the people around them, ENTJs are far more sparing with their praise. Don’t expect any gushing outpouring of admiration, an ENTJ compliment will more likely be an understated comment, maybe even mentioned as an aside. However, when ENTJs offer up a compliment, they really mean it! 

Receiving a mark of approval from an ENTJ is significant and you can be sure that they mean it from the bottom of their hearts.

6. They choose to be completely open with you

Another unexpected element of a relationship with an ENTJ is when they decide to trust you. As ENTJs tend to be blunt and hard-nosed in their day-to-day lives, it’s an incredible moment when they soften completely and open up their hearts to you. Instead of their usual strong-willed self, ENTJs can sometimes surprise you with total openness. 

In a relationship with someone they feel a deep connection to, ENTJs are able to show their vulnerable side. This doesn’t happen often and it doesn’t last long. It is a fleeting moment of tenderness that is only allowed with people they truly trust. When they’re in this kind of mood, ENTJs can be hugely honest, sentimental, and adoring. They can also be apologetic and admit they were wrong for something they did even years in the past. These moments of openness are the most unexpected and the most special of all.

Elizabeth Harris
Elizabeth is a freelance writer and ghostwriter. She’s an anthropologist at heart and loves using social theory to get deeper into the topics she writes about. Born in the UK, Elizabeth has lived in Copenhagen, Frankfurt and Dubai before moving most recently to Budapest, Hungary. She’s an ENTJ with ENFJ leanings. Find out more about her work at bethharris.com