Are ENFJ and INTP personality types compatible? See how ENFJs and INTPs get along in this guide to ENFJ/INTP relationships. If you're an ENFJ in a relationship with an INTP, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life.

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How ENFJ and INTP Get Along

ENFJs and INTPs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. As an ENFJ, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an INTP.

As an Intuitive Feeling type, you seek deep, meaningful connection in your relationships. You want to truly understand what drives the people you care about and help them to be their best selves. You are drawn to people who seem to be sensitive, thoughtful, and idealistic, and prefer relationships that help you to grow and develop.

When interacting with your counterpart, be aware that as an Intuitive Thinking type, they will primarily be looking for an intellectual connection. NT types feel close to someone when they have a meeting of the minds, particularly when they are able to have a discussion that leads them to learn something new or think about things in a different way. NT types aren't devoid of feeling—they're human just like everyone else—but they're very much in their heads, and their relationships tend to start with a mental spark rather than an emotional one.

When first meeting this person, they may seem to you to have an interesting mind. You may be drawn to their way of seeing things and their unconventional opinions. However, there is a strong chance that they will turn you off by being too blunt, too brash, or too critical. Although you like to understand ideas, you don't get any pleasure out of tearing things apart—whereas your counterpart tends to feel that they don't truly understand a concept until they've done their best to destroy it.

You are values-driven, whereas your counterpart is logic-driven. Although you both like to analyze, your interest lies more with morality and ethics—how can this work best for people? On the other hand, your counterpart likes to reason things through objectively—does this make sense? Is it the most efficient, the most even-handed option? You may find that although you are drawn into fascinating conversations with this person, those same conversations tend to end in frustration as you simply cannot agree on what's important.

However, you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. Your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. This person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life. In particular, they may help you to learn to be a bit less selfless, and to put yourself first when the need arises.

Conversely, you can help them learn that there are some decisions that simply defy logic. People like your friend are notorious for trying to quantify everything; this is the sort of person who might make a spreadsheet to decide who to marry. Your deep, thoughtful, and yet ultimately personal approach can show them that sometimes the best decisions are the ones that come from the heart.

This person tends to prefer a slower, calmer pace in social interactions and life in general. They may find your energy level exhausting, especially when you are excited about something. Be mindful of their energy level, and don’t take it personally if they need some time to themselves.

Although there are some common problems that can arise in ENFJ/INTP relationships, it's important to remember that there's no such thing as a perfectly compatible pair in personality typing. Whether you get along with someone has more to do with your own self-knowledge and your sensitivity to your friend's needs and preferences—not some magic formula. Learning more about your own type with an in-depth assessment is a great place to start to build the self-awareness that is key to successful relationships.

Communication Between ENFJ and INTP

Communication can be a challenge between any two people, and communication between ENFJ and INTP personality types is not the exception. By being aware of the issues that often arise when ENFJs and INTPs communicate, you can learn how to reach an understanding more quickly.

You and your counterpart share an abstract style of communication. Your conversations will tend to focus on your impressions, ideas, opinions, and theories. You may find yourselves discussing philosophy, the arts, the latest advances in science, or your ideas about how to make the world a better place.

You are likely to find one another interesting and stimulating to talk to. Neither of you is terribly interesting in recounting events in tedious detail or sharing dry facts without any context, and since both of you probably have the experience of getting stuck in such mundane exchanges with other people, talking to one another should be a refreshing break.

Although you share a similar general style of communicating, there is still potential for misunderstandings between the two of you. When working on projects together, you may find that you tend to discuss the overall goals, but neglect to hammer out the details. You are both inclined to talk more about the general idea, and less about the facts and practicalities. When working together to create a plan, make sure you attend to any details that need to be decided, and don't just assume you're on the same page.

When communicating with this person, you'll probably find that you tend to do more of the talking. You're naturally more inclined to express yourself, and you tend to translate your thoughts into speech more easily than your counterpart.

Your partner may be happy for you to take the floor; many Introverts prefer friends who can carry the conversation, so they don't feel pressured to come up with lots of things to say. However, watch out that you don't steamroll your friend. Everyone likes to be listened to, and Introverts especially appreciate it when someone takes the time and attention to listen carefully to what they are saying.

To be sure you're hearing out your friend, give them plenty of time to think through their ideas before sharing. You may need to learn to tolerate some silence in your conversation as they get their thoughts together. Don't be tempted to fill every lull in the conversation with chatter! The best of your Introverted friends will come out when you give them time and space to share. Slow down, listen carefully, and ask thoughtful questions to draw out your friend.

ENFJ vs. INTP Values

Values are intensely personal, and while an ENFJ and an INTP can find common ground, there will always be some differences in what you hold dear. However, understand how your ENFJ approach to values compares with your INTP counterpart's will help you to appreciate and overcome your differences.

The two of you share a passion for improvement and a belief that everything can always be made better. You both tend to analyze rather than simply accept the current state of things, and you're constantly wondering how creativity and imagination might make for a better way.

However, though you're both interested in change and innovation, you may differ somewhat in terms of where that energy is directed. For you, your interest in change comes from an interest in making the world a better place for people. You want to solve world hunger, educate the poor, and bring peace and happiness to all. Your counterpart tends to take a less humanistic approach, and is more likely to be interested in innovations in technology, the sciences, or the business world.

Though you'll often find their ideas interesting, for you, they may lack a bit of heart and and a higher purpose. When they tell you about the latest discovery in astronomy or a new way of analyzing the stock market, you may find yourself thinking, "That's all very interesting, but how does it really help anyone?" And on the flip side, they may find your ideas overly idealistic. It may seem to them that your head is full of sunshine and rainbows, and that you refuse to think about things critically or objectively.

You also have somewhat different values when it comes to relationships. You tend to be intensely interested in people and eager to find out what really matters to them. You are compassionate and emotionally engaged. Your counterpart tends to be somewhat more emotionally distant, and they'd often rather engage intellectually than emotionally. While you're likely to find this approach stimulating at first, after a while, it may leave you a bit cold. You enjoy a good intellectual debate as much as anyone, but for you, the real relationship starts when you talk about how you feel about things.

This person has the potential to help you gain a more well-rounded approach to how you see the world. Because you share a fundamental passion for interesting ideas and positive change, you can connect well on this level. However, your different approach for values creates an opportunity to learn from one another. You can help your friend to open up to the human side of things, and consider the impact of their ideas on the people involved. And your friend can help you to be a bit more hard-headed about your ideas, shoring up your creative idealism with a healthy dose of logic and reason.

You tend to prize hard work and achievement, in contrast with your counterpart, who puts a higher priority on just enjoying life. While you tend to be serious and goal-oriented, they are more relaxed and content to go with the flow. To you, they may appear unmotivated, flaky, or even lazy. But in truth, they just value freedom and flexibility more than you do, and they're willing to give up a few gold stars in favor of a more laid-back lifestyle. To them, your life may seem overly structured, routine, and just plain dull.

You'll probably experience some conflict over your different approaches to life. You'll want your counterpart to get serious, make plans, and stick with something (for once!). On the other hand, they'll bug you to loosen up, relax, and enjoy life. Although this has the potential to be aggravating for both of you, it's also an opportunity for each of you to discover a new style of living. Your partner can help you to become more spontaneous and ensure you are enjoying all that life has to offer. In turn, you can help them improve their ability to be organized, persistent, and responsible when it matters most.

ENFJ and INTP in Daily Life

Lifestyle is an under-appreciated—but extremely important—element of compatibility. Your values and ideals may coincide perfectly, but if you can't agree on how to conduct day-to-day matters, your relationship will always have friction. As an ENFJ in a relationship with an INTP, you can expect certain issues to arise in your daily life. Discussing these in advance, and figuring out how to deal with them, will make things go much more smoothly as you develop your relationship.

The two of you are likely to share a general intellectual curiosity and interest in learning new things. Both of you tend to appreciate the value of culture, the sciences, and the arts, and while you may not share specific hobbies, you'll probably have interests that you can at least mutually appreciate.

For both of you, discovering new ideas is a lifelong pursuit. You'll probably share a mutual interest in reading, going to museums and cultural events, taking classes for fun, and other activities that allow you to learn and improve your minds. In fact, you may find that learning new things together is a great way to bring you closer.

You also share a low tolerance for the mundane. You both find day-to-day routine somewhat toxic, and you may find that your lives together involve frequent attempts to "shake things up." You may dream of traveling around the world together or quitting your jobs to start a new business. This mutual taste for adventure is stimulating for both of you, and helps keep things exciting between you. However, during the inevitable dull periods of your life together, it's likely that you'll both be a bit cranky. Bear in mind that keeping things novel and fresh is key to both of your happiness.

Organization may be a sticking point between the two of you. While you like to establish structure in schedules, plans, and systems, your counterpart takes a more relaxed approach. You may find that disagreements arise over these fundamental differences.

If you share a physical space, you may disagree over how clean, tidy, and organized it needs to be. You will tend to feel more motivated to keep things in order, while your counterpart will have less of an innate need for organization.

Often, the more organized person in a relationship like yours ends up taking on more responsibilities, simply because they're paying more attention to what needs to be done. This can lead to resentment and imbalance in the relationship. You may feel as if you are the "adult" in the relationship, while your counterpart may feel nagged and harassed.

The best way to approach conflicts in this area is to frame your own desire for organization as just that—something you desire. It is generally unproductive to try to convince your partner that your structured, orderly way of doing things is the "correct" way, but if you approach it as simply stating your own preference, they may be more open to trying to accommodate you. 

Scheduling can also be an area of conflict for the two of you, as they like to leave things open-ended, while you prefer things planned and settled. Again, compromise is the key. The first step is to acknowledge that you have different approaches, and that each style has its benefits. Then, try to make sure your time together includes both scheduled events and free time for spontaneity, so you each get a chance to be at your best.

Communicating your needs is crucial, as you both have a different tolerance for social stimulation. You are energized by activity and probably make plenty of room for friends, family, and social events. By contrast, your counterpart needs plenty of down time to re-energize and may not always be up for parties. They won’t appreciate you invading their alone-time or repeatedly overbooking the social calendar.

Communication is another challenge, since you prefer to deal with issues immediately while your counterpart may try to sweep problems under the rug. You know how to speak your mind and defend your position, and it can be frustrating for you if you’re constantly having to drag a conversation out of your partner. On the flip side, your partner needs time to think something through before having an important conversation, and may not appreciate you being pushy and naggy.

None of these differences is insurmountable and with a little compromise you can easily meet each other’s needs. Being an introvert is not a get-out-of­-jail-free card, and your job is to simultaneously respect your partner’s need for solitude while making sure they know when their participation is important to you. Compromise is a two-way street, and in return your partner must be fine with you going out and finding the social stimulation you desire, without resenting you for leaving them alone.

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