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The INTJ Personality Type

INTJs are analytical problem-solvers, eager to improve systems and processes with their innovative ideas. They have a talent for seeing possibilities for improvement, whether at work, at home, or in themselves.

Often intellectual, INTJs enjoy logical reasoning and complex problem-solving. They approach life by analyzing the theory behind what they see, and are typically focused inward, on their own thoughtful study of the world around them. INTJs are drawn to logical systems and are much less comfortable with the unpredictable nature of other people and their emotions. They are typically independent and selective about their relationships, preferring to associate with people who they find intellectually stimulating.

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What does INTJ stand for?

INTJ is an acronym used to describe one of the sixteen personality types created by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. It stands for Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging. INTJ indicates a person who is energized by time alone (Introverted), who focuses on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), who makes decisions based on logic and reason (Thinking) and who prefers to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging). INTJs are sometimes referred to as Mastermind personalities because of their strategic, logical way of thinking.

How common is the INTJ personality type?

INTJ is the third rarest type in the population, and the rarest type among women (with ENTJ). INTJs make up:

  • 2% of the general population
  • 3% of men
  • 1% of women

Famous INTJs

Famous INTJs include Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, Bill Gates, Dwight Eisenhower, Alan Greenspan, Ulysses S. Grant, Stephen Hawking, John Maynard Keynes, Ayn Rand, Isaac Asimov, Lewis Carroll, Cormac McCarthy, and Sir Isaac Newton.

INTJ Values and Motivations

INTJs are perceptive about systems and strategy, and often understand the world as a chess board to be navigated. They want to understand how systems work, and how events proceed: the INTJ often has a unique ability to foresee logical outcomes. They enjoy applying themselves to a project or idea in depth, and putting in concentrated effort to achieve their goals.

INTJs have a hunger for knowledge and strive to constantly increase their competence; they are often perfectionists with extremely high standards of performance for themselves and others. They tend to have a keen interest in self-improvement and are lifelong learners, always looking to add to their base of information and awareness.

How Others See the INTJ

INTJs are typically reserved and serious, and seem to spend a lot of time thinking. They are curious about the world around them and often want to know the principle behind what they see. They thoroughly examine the information they receive, and if asked a question, will typically consider it at length before presenting a careful, complex answer. INTJs think critically and clearly, and often have an idea about how to do something more efficiently. They can be blunt in their presentation, and often communicate in terms of the larger strategy, leaving out the details.

Although INTJs aren’t usually warm or particularly gregarious, they tend to have a self-assured manner with people based on their own security in their intelligence. They relate their ideas with confidence, and once they have arrived at a conclusion they fully expect others to see the wisdom in their perceptions. They are typically perfectionists and appreciate an environment of intellectual challenge. They enjoy discussing interesting ideas, and may get themselves into trouble because of their take-no-prisoners attitude: if someone’s beliefs don’t make logical sense, the Mastermind typically has no qualms about pointing that out.

INTJ Hobbies and Interests

Popular hobbies for the INTJ include reading, cultural events, taking classes, appreciating art, computers and video games, and independent sports such as swimming, backpacking, or running marathons.

Facts about INTJs

Interesting facts about the INTJ:

  • On personality trait measures, score as Discreet, Industrious, Logical, Deliberate, Self-Confident, and Methodical
  • Among types least likely to suffer heart disease and cardiac problems
  • Least likely of all the types to believe in a higher spiritual power
  • One of two types with highest college GPA
  • Among types with highest income
  • Personal values include Achievement
  • Of all types, least likely to state that they value Home/family, Financial security, Relationships & friendships, and Community service
  • Overrepresented among MBA students and female small business owners
  • Commonly found in scientific or technical fields, computer occupations, and legal professions

Source: MBTI Manual

Quotes About INTJs

"INTJs are the most independent of all the sixteen types and take more or less conscious pride in that independence."

- Isabel Briggs Myers, Gifts Differing

"Difficulties are highly stimulating to INTJs, who love responding to a problem that requires a creative solution."

- David Keirsey, Please Understand Me II

"Their capacity for intellectual and conceptual clarity gives INTJs both vision and the will to see it through to completion—leadership qualities that are prized in our society."

- Otto Kroeger, Type Talk at Work

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LV (not verified) says...

You're not an outlier in these respects.


Godot (not verified) says...

Dostoyevsky wrote,"If someone proved to me that Christ is outside the truth and that in reality truth were outside of Christ, then I should prefer to remain with Christ, rather than with the truth." (Christ representing to him the most glorious embodiment of love). This statement well illustrates what all face in life: Truth vs Love. The incompatibility of the two. Unamuno echoed Kierkegaard when he said,"Truth for truth's sake?!! This is inhumane!!" Inhumane, as truth stands naked and indifferent to man and his world. Thus, truth isn't vital, as it has no need for life - no need to validate it. It is the dispassionate rationale of an INTJ that leads them to see this, and thus see that this ultimately ends in despair, via negation. Thus, leaving only love (via faith/hope) to save themselves. Love, thus proves itself vital. This impersonal rationale of the extreme INTJ is at odds with empirical reality, showing man and his world to be absurd. Absurd, because the two cannot be reconciled. Because Love and Truth cannot be reconciled. Is not this dispassionate, impersonal rationale of the extreme INTJ their guiding light in life? Is it any wonder that "Love" may feel questionable to them? Yet, whom can accept and endure despair? May it not be that the "purpose" of life is detachment -- to let it go-- to die to it, trusting in the innate and eternal good of Truth at any cost, validating only the resultant stillness of nothingness, valuing the eternal peace of it over Love/ attachment of life? And naturally this 'Knowing' of peace, via Truth, is an unknowing of the unrest of the duality of consciousness, as the self, or the subject( in the subject/object consciousness), has been negated. Metaphorically: the drop returns to the ocean. Nothing is more real than Nothing

ZugZwang__ (not verified) says...

This was beautiful to read. Thank you. 

JT1225 (not verified) says...

I thought it was interesting that the INTJ is the least likely to believe in a superior being. Being and INTJ and Christian myself, I have read a lot of arguments for and against God, creation vs evolution, and many other topics. I think that the rational argument is more easily made for God than against. I suggest reading books from Gary Habbermass about the historicity of the resurrection, or some of C S Lewis's works (also an INTJ). I disagree with your post that we love and truth are in some way against each other. Jesus called himself the truth (John 14 6-7), and without reason, I don't think people can make a good judgement on what is true out of love. 

Myra says...

Dear my INTJ Christian friend, 

I thank God for the wisdom, knowledge and discernment he's given onto you to speak the truth so that no one is being misled. I believe in Christian doctrines: God the Father, God the Son Lord Jesus Christ and God the Holy Spirit-our triune God-is Love himself; without God/Love(John 3:16, For God so loved the world, he gave his one and only begotten Son, so that whosoever believes shall not perish but have everlasting life.) eternal salvation/redemption/deliverance are no where to be found; humanity would have been doomed to hell for God's wrath. Since Jesus Christ is the truth, light and way, Christ as the God in flesh finds those whom are lost and gives love to those whom are needy in love. I believe in what you shared and agree with your theological claim that indeed love and truth are inalienable in Christian doctrines. Glory to God, amen. 

Your Christian INTJ friend.

KITTEN NOIR (not verified) says...

i can also testify to this :)

Giuvannuzzeddu (not verified) says...

>I think that the rational argument is more easily made for God than against.

Which god do you mean?

TCP02/1968 (not verified) says...

I'm also a christian. I know a few atheists and agnostics, and they usually take joy in pointing out to me how everything has an answer or explanation. I point out that everything being cut and dry, neatly packaged and answered, is just too easy an answer for me. I believe obvious answers are to test faith. 

purpleperson says...


I have been thinking about what you call "truth vs love" alot lately. You just called out all my deepest thoughts online lol. I feel like, to enjoy life to the fullest I would have to stop being so obsessed with finding the cold hard truth in everything. But for some reason it seems irresponsible to not. I'd be a happier, lovlier person if I wasn't so cynical tho. yeet.

Godot (not verified) says...

Your honesty is appreciated and refreshing. Naturally if one loves truth in an absolute sense ( i.e. as their salvation), they will hate it's antithesis, as this negates it. And naturally the antithesis of truth is a lie/deceit/deception, which via justice, is worthy of hate. Only qualified, relative, incomplete "truth" can embrace love --The two aren't compatible, as they are exclusive (in their complete form). Truth/justice vs Love/compassion

greg says...

Hey Brother INTJ,  From what I have gleaned from your writing, I can say that I truly know how you feel.  I have been in that spot already but I had to face my emotions.  I know you,  I know you are very reluctant to go there. If my assessment is correct we are close in age,  I may be your junior, but I feel it is essential that you make peace with it all. I am in this process,  actively for about 4 years,  it is not an easy task. I'm a much fuller person,  I except that I'm flawed. Each day presents a challenge to feed my spirit (my internal me) by bettering myself personally. Please,  as the inquisitor, do not accept that it was all for naught. 

Hms34 (not verified) says...

The INTJ does have a quick wit, but it's very dark humor. People can't tell when I'm joking vs being serious, and are often offended. There must be some other Coen Bros fans among us.

I do think we pick our battles; I don't fight the losing ones just because it's the right thing to do.

Sometimes we have to give up more than a little to move forward.

Traditions, while mildly reassuring, don't mean very much, and are very over-rated.

As for Clinton, I'm not a fan, and, I do think she is an INTJ. I've seen some reports that JFK was also among us, but that's not conclusive. 

Finally, INTJ are immensely resourceful under adversity. It saved my life, in fact. I take no credit, born that way. 





IN BW BG SH USG (not verified) says...

I seeked out a way of figuring out myself, I already knew myself, but did not notice the extent of my skills. I knew that my perosonailty was very differnet from everyone else I thought about the future, concepts, ideas while everyone else it felt like where stuck chasing material. I felt unknown or unheard, my ideas to big to people to understand. I constanly had to remove infromation to help people understand yet, to me they dont't. I understood then that they and I were diffenrent, they could not see what I saw in spite of themselves. I understand how great minds must feel because I may as well be a weaker one to some extent. 

HelenaS06 (not verified) says...

This article is basically tbe blueprint to my brain haha. As a female INTJ I often struggle with finding close female friends. The friends I've maintained are all those I've known since childhood and whom understand who I am to a T. The rest of the time I find the people around me too shallow and I get bored of their company extremely quickly. I'm currently studying dentistry where I expected to meet alot of likeminded individuals, but somehow I've yet to meet anyone in my cohort that I can closely identify with and its honestly extremely disheartening. The same issues I have with friendship also extend to relationships. While I can easily socialise/talk to someone, I find it difficult to form meaningful bonds due to my rigid expectations and my fickleness. My social anxiety is well-disguised but when it comes to ending relationships (since I know they wont work in the long run) I find myself having constant panic attacks while worrying I'll hurt my partners feelings and trying to construct a breakup timeline/plan of action. I'm thinking of breaking up with my current partner due to the same reason each of my previous relationships has ended (feelings fading, disparate longterm goals).

At this point I'm pretty sure I'm just not meant to have relationships, as they cause me more trouble and anxiety than confort/joy. I would also contemplate a career change due to boredom, however from a practical standpoint (employment, moneh, lifestyle), there arent any alternative careers I can pursue without having effectively wasted 2yrs of my life in uni.

As pathetic as it sounds, the freedom of the internet is my sanctuary

-A resigned INTJ

ZugZwang__ (not verified) says...

I am a female INTJ as well and everything you have stated, I too struggle with.

I change my life every 2-3 years, break ups are filled with this weird process of "building the wall" of separation, I find it hard to relate to others...especially females. Often, I feel like females inherently DONT like me. I don't know if it's an inability to relate or whatever, but it's odd. 
I recently changed my career from Nursing to Data Analysis and I couldn't be happier. I threw away years of schooling and money for a chance and it worked out extremely well. My advice would be master or at least feel like you have gotten everything out of the current career you're in and make your next move. You can always go back if it doesn't work...but I think our INTJ-ness makes us more resilient. 

I find sanctuary in the internet as's so comforting to know there are others writhing in their own existence trying to figure out why we are the way we are. 
Best of luck. 

R.S. (not verified) says...

I too am INTJ female. It is nice to read other INTJ females challenges and patterns in career and relationships. I change my career path every 3-5 years. I’m in computer science right now, heading back to school for physics. I am WAY more comfortable around men then women. I am tired of people telling me that my being just fine alone , living life to the fullest alone, means there is something wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with being ok with myself. I often get the same responses stated here about being ‘intimidating”. I think that if I’m intimidating it has nothing to do with me or what I’m doing, and that it’s other people’s issues.

I am a Christian. BUT my views on Christianity are so far from mainstream. I often tell myself “Please Jesus, save me from your followers. They don’t get it”

girlnamedjack (not verified) says...

I often tell myself “Please Jesus, save me from your followers. They don’t get it” - This. Exactly. This.

Anna G. (not verified) says...


I identify with a lot of what you said. As another female INTJ, I struggle to foster long-term friendships with other women. The women I do have long relationships with have similar personalities to me, as many women fail to identify with me whatsoever. I also live alone and independently support myself, financially and otherwise, and have had many family and friends comment on how odd they find it (I'm a 23 yr old woman living in the South, so these kinds of comments are unfortunately expected). I have been single for the majority of my life as almost every man finds my independent and strong personality 'intimidating' but those that feel that way about me usually have very boring personalities from my point of few.

I am also a Christian, specifically a Southern Baptist Christian, and wholeheartedly agree with not identify with mainstream Christian views. I live in the 'Bible Belt' and have found many of the Christians that surround me to be too judgemental and ignorant, with an unwillingness to listen to reason or reconsider their thoughts and interpretations of the Bible. I do find solace in my own personal relationship with the Lord, as he can understand me in ways me piers cannot. This may be why I am such a devout Christian—only he knows!

Nostradamus (not verified) says...

I'm a male INTJ, and it's really interesting to read these female INTJ perspectives - especially about relationships and work.  My wife and I have been married for 23 years, and have two great HS teenagers.  My son is an INTJ, so it's been really interesting for me to watch him grow up, and exasperating for my wife, because he's me, version 2.0  :-)

My wife is most certainly not an INTJ (she's an E-something), but it was abundantly clear when we first started dating that we were wired very differently.  We were both in our late 20's, had been thru some previous relationships, so were savvy to the ways in which we were different.  I recognized that she drew energy from interacting with people, and she saw that I don't care for superficial interaction (small talk).  I recall one instance when my wife was in college (she went to school late, and was 30 when she graduated), and we had some of her female classmates over for dinner.  I cooked and we had a great time, but after about 3 hours, I was tapped out on playing the role of extrovert.  We lived in Miami at the time, and the group decided they wanted to go out to South Beach and hit the clubs.  NOT my idea of fun, but I agreed to drive them to the club and wait until they were ready to head home at 2 AM or whenever, and drive them back. My wife's friends thought it was really kind of me to do this (pre Uber days), but in reality, I knew I'd have several hours with a good book at a coffee shop with nobody bothering me so I could think.  My wife knew exactly my motivation, and we've been on the same page for a long time:-)  I go to social events with her all the time, which I generally enjoy for a while, but she knows I'll get to the point where I've had enough and need to bail out.  Depending on the circumstances, I'll Uber home on my own, and she doesn't view that as a slight towards her at all.  She knows I'll be doing somethign like working on one of my vintage cars, or listening to an audio book while I work on an old dive watch when she gets home - even if it's 1:30 in the morning.  In fact, if she sees that work is getting to me, she'll tell me to take a weekend off and go surfing or take a class of some kind to clear my mind.  She's a very independent woman and doesn't need me hanging around all the time, and totally knows when I need to recharge. 


We both have very similar views on raising kids, finances, religion (or lack thereof) and a balanced partnership, which makes things pretty easy.  The professions I've chosen are ones where I get to do a lot of long range thinking, analysis, and building fixing other people's poorly considered solutions (mechanical engineer by trade).  Similar to you, I move roles every 2-3 years, just so that I have a chance to go back to the beginning of the learning curve, which I find intellectually stimulating.  I make a good living as a strategic planner and consultant for large corporations, because for some reason I have the ability to conceptualize and see things on the horizon that others don't.  When I was younger it used to exasperate me that no one else seemed to see what I thought was obvious.  Over time I realized that I was going to have to champion the things I thought were right at work, since no one else got it.  Learning to navigate that dynamic has been a lifelong apprenticeship.  The area of leadership that has been the toughest part of being an INTJ is managing large teams of people who are not INTJs.  It's super frustrating to see people making decisions based on feelings/emotions when the facts are right in front of them.  They also don't seem to look to the horizon very often, which means that they make a lot of tactical/short-term decisions that I know will need to be redone at some point down the line.  The remedy is finding a few managers and Sr. managers who get it and let them work closely with the teams to coach and develop decision making.  It's still mentally exhausting dealing with a staff, so whenver possible, I prefer jobs that allow me to to work on small teams or by myself.

I've heard the "intimidating" characterizatino before as well - same as you.  I never try to intimidate people, I just like to understand their thought proces and underlying assumptions.  I'm told I can be pretty direct when asking questions, but I'm not in to flowery language - would rather just get to the point. 

I delight in watching my wife and daughter participate in the things that they enjoy, and that energize them. It's just not for me.  As an example, my daughter is a cheerleader for her HS, and I go to the games to watch her cheer.  I hang out with one or two of the other dads, but there's no way you'd catch me with the cheer moms who sit in a monolithic block of seats at the games.

OK, that was kind long and rambling, but I weighed in to make the point that I've been happily married for over 20 years to an awesome woman who gets how I'm wired and hasn't tried to change me.  I like to think I do the same for her.  In terms of a venn diagram, I'd say we overlap about 70%, but the other 30% we do our own things to keep ourselves sane :-)

You don't need to know (not verified) says...

I'm an INTJ that was often praised for my work but find it difficult to find a place to work that doesn't understand what I'm trying to do. I studied in Mechanical Design but graduated durring the recession and found it hard to find work. That was a crippling blow but then I got a job where I became a shift manager which sparked my interest on how inefficient companies can be. I started looking into to psychological and sociological cause and effect outcomes of the employees and their work based on the companies training and morale of the employees. It's terrible watching the bad desicions what bosses make and what they cover up with no apparent ability to do anything about it. My sister is an INTJ and she is in the same boat. If she leaves her company it will be nearly impossible to replace her and her employer does not realize that.

Hmmmm (not verified) says...

Just curious- what specifically do some people think disqualifies HRC as an INTJ? Interesting! Thanks.

BLG (not verified) says...

Spot on. I'm within the 1% of total female population, and fall within that overrepresented female business owner catagory, and am also a doctor. I'm kind of relieved to know that there might be a reason that I cannot relate to women who are outside of my peer group, which includes basically all of them. It's a lonely place to be, but then again, I sort of like it that way :)

Lewis Cooke (not verified) says...

The description is pretty much spot on in almost every aspect, to the point I am wondering if I should research the other groups to ensure this is similar to a horoscope where every category overlaps to degree so people buy in to.


Fortunately I've found my way into a corporate environment early on where at a senior enough level the traits described are encouraged and valued.


Interestingly as a child/ teen I struggled to be motivated at school as I wasn't convinced learning within the constraints of the schooling environment was the most efficient way, so much wasted time. 

As I started working and had the same thoughts, the winner for me was having the ability to present my findings without ego, to offer opportunities for improvement and operational excellence without painting myself as the architect to be praised.

I've only had 1 long term relationship which I've maintained for 10+ years, I often think I would have struggled relationship wise if I hadn't found someone compatible so early on.

I cut out both parents before I was 20 as I felt they would only be a negative influence on my life, and my circle of friends can be counted on one hand and has been the same for 10-15 years, I socialise easily, but keep people at a metaphorical boundary whereby dealings are transactional.

I recently tried to introduce OKRs into my personal life, yet to see if it brings the benefits I hope for.

steven a weber (not verified) says...

I'm 66 yrs old and I don't remember ever being confronted with such startling information before: you've virtually described my life to a T! I always assumed that I was alone in the world(abie normal), a true "fish out of water" here. Why the great consolation in this new epiphany, I'm not sure yet, since life won't be any easier or pleasant. Upon reading the other entries, I find to a large degree similar revelations, but yours was particularly uncanny. This will give me plenty to contemplate for quite some time. Thank you, my dear clone!

RnR (not verified) says...

Have you noticed - there arent as many blogs out there on ESTPs, or the other tyeps. they are too busy doing stuff, to bother about analysing everything.  Think its telling that there are so many intj blogs out there. 

Enjoyed reading the posts - they are reassuringly like my own thoughts.  I had exactly the same thought on the "INTJ  is not an acronym. It is an 'initialism'" comment.  Agreed Hilary Clinton is in no way an INTJ. 

I am glad to have found a source of like minded people - If anyone wnats to start a whatsapp group i would be interested - i need another intj contact to start one, and as a typical iNTJ, i dont have that many ;)


Myra (not verified) says...

Hello INTJ friend,

I'd love to chat with you!


Herman (not verified) says...

Hi, guys. It was really interesting to read your comments and feel i am not the only one struggling from myself , "Don't know what to be when grow up" and have an issues with relationships. 

Would be great to talk to each of you more to know ourselfs better through experience of similar people. If you are reading this, you can add my whats up +380973908328 and we'll make a group chat or just have a private talk whatever. It is not easy to be an INTJ, so use this info as a key to yourself, your career options, improve your relationships part and other weaknesses. Be good, take care.

Chuck INTJ (not verified) says...

Seriously, why do all these INTJ blogs say Hillary Clinton is an INTJ? She isn't. Do you all just copy and paste the same content?

Buster (not verified) says...

Thanks Chuck, totally agree. HRC really enjoys the limelight and the attention - these things are not so important to an INTJ. 

Heather26 (not verified) says...

I cringe whenever I see that Hillary Clinton and I share the same type, so I appreciate this comment very much.  Thank you.

Wait a minute... (not verified) says...

She strikes me a very much being the female version of INTJ. She smart, sharp & quick witted, takes things seriously, knows what she is talking about & presents it all as factual logic with zero charisma. If that's not an INTJ thing, then I don't know what is.

IN BW BG SH USG (not verified) says...

As INTJ we can read other people, it is ironic that the people who think they can read us think that Hillary Clinton is one of us. 

Macdub (not verified) says...

I'd dispute that INTJ's are quick witted; INTJ's are intelligent and have wit but I don't think that we are naturally quick with it. We don't like to use quick-wit (unless we are absolutely 110% sure we are correct) - we'd prefer to examine, think over, logic-check what's been said and then respond fully and with rationale and reason. We don't like giving quick-wit because for us it feels wrong as its too spontaneous. 

BLG (not verified) says...

True. I do not like Hiliary Clinton because of her poor character, but she chose to nurture that independent of her God-given personality type. Her character does not encompass all of who she is as a person, and neither does INTJ. 

a supposed intj (not verified) says...

this whole description assumes way to much in certain regards and blows these traits into extremes. I agree with so much, and I understand why it's phrased as it is, but I just think that it unifies our whole personality type by the most ideal INTJ and not by our basic traits. Maybe I'm just not INTJ enough, I don't know.

Adrian Brown (not verified) says...

Yes, the 16 are over-arching character types - it includes both the "basic" AND the natural extension of that into stereotypical ideals, the "ends" of typeical/average trajectories.

 If you want to understand all the details, possible variations... More study would be neccesary than one website for starters!   

Simon Pugh (not verified) says...

INTJ  is not an acronym. It is an 'initialism'. Check the correct meaning of acronym. An acronym is a pronounceable word like radar, scuba and laser. IRA, IBM, IRS and INTJ are all initialisms.

bat crazy (not verified) says...

Above post by INTJ.  LOL  Just kidding.  I'm one too. 

Dennis Robinson (not verified) says...

Thank you for the clarity on this matter regarding this important matter. I love correctness and detail.

Bob says...

Spoken like an INTJ.

JPS (not verified) says...

Ive taken this test several times over the last few years. The entire description pretty much sums my personality up very well. Im a perfectionist for sure always demanding more out of myself than whats reasonable and expecting others to work harder as well. My ex-wife would always say I drove her crazy with how I have to over analyze everything. I have an inner need to know more constanlty learning and trying to improve. It drives me insane sometimes to be honest. I have been tested and have a genius level IQ and feel sooo seperated from everyone else. I have a hard time finding people who really understand me. I dont understand emotions or relationships. Ive only had a couple of intimate relationships my whole life. Everyone tells me I should be more social and my general answer is, why? I like my alone time. I dont like having my phone blown up all the time with meaningless texts or phone calls just to tell me something you could tell me the next time I see you. Im an artist I paint and sketch and sculpt. I also love music I play guitar and sing. I write songs and poetry. Ive spent my whole life pretty much alone. Its only now that Im getting old that Im starting to feel a bit lonely and sometimes think about finding someone. Though I dont think I'm very good at relationships. I've been in 14 jobs in the last 10 years cause I get so bored with the meaningless futility of the jobs I work at. I crave something that challenges me. I recently decided to go back to school for CIC continued improvement coordinator. I really think that job would be perfect for me. Im actually a little relieved to have read this article. I feel like it helps me to see that I am who I am for a reason. Not that its all in my head. 

Jack HerRrer (not verified) says...

Hi. I am not a native English speaker, sorry if there are mistakes.

I am also an INTJ and I can relate to almost everything you wrote. So, let me tell you someting.

You said: "It’s only now that I’m getting old that I’m starting to feel a bit lonely and sometimes think about finding someone. Though I don’t think I'm very good at relationships."

This was exactly what I thought and felt 1 year ago. I decided I had to change that. From that point, I started using my intellect to learn/understand/improve my "relationships".

I am now sure that being good or bad at relationships is not something definitive or something that we are born with. The way we interact with people can be broken down in many "social" skills, such as charisma, leadership, understanding of the others, humour, dating, emotional intelligence, being authentic, and many others.

As any skill, they can be theorized, learned and applied. There are actually good books/videos/articles on those subjects that are really helpful (although it is sometime hard to find them).

Since I spent most of my life not caring about how relationships works, I still have a long way to go. But after 1 year, I can see that my mind-set radically changed and I am now enjoying so much more the company of others and vice-versa.

Not only is it life changer, but it also is a challenging process that I love working on, on a daily basis.

In the end, if you want a hard and meaningful challenge, shouldn't you try to change the things you suck the most at, and the things that prevent you from being happy?

I don’t know if this will help you, but at least I tried.

Anna E. (not verified) says...

To me it sounds like you have a well-functioning autism disorder. My stepdad is just like what you discribed. Have you been tested for that at any point in your life? If not, I wouldn't exclude the possibility completely.

FLM (not verified) says...

JPS me too. Nice to be reassured that my strengths are valuable and to be aware of situations requiring my weaknesses eg relationships at work. Not sure on the % of people that meet the INTJ criteria but I have not met that many in my working life, which has always made me feel odd, even though i am a valuable member of the team. 

chi (not verified) says...

Hi everyone, 


This is a nice blog. I agree with alot of the points and many of the comments ring true for me aswell. I'm glad us weird INTJs are all here together lol


Here is my 2 cents : read the books

48 laws of power by Robert Green 

The Art of Seduction by Robert Green

How to win friends and influence by Dale Carnegie


These greatly helped me understand people and more importantly understand how I can use my personality to get what I want from people. If you have already read these books then you are way ahead of the game as I only heard about them this year beginning of summer. 

NLJ (not verified) says...

I've taken this test like 4 times in the past ~10 years and they always add up to INTJ. I never took it seriously (I used to compare it to horoscopes), and I don't know how I even got to this site, but I honestly feel super relieved reading some of these descriptions/traits, because I've known how I naturally tend to act/react, and what exhausts me, but I feel alot better reading that I just may not be "built" for certain jobs or people (meaning that it's "confirmed" outside of my own opinion). I can say that about 95% of the descriptions line up.  After almost 30 years of not knowing what I "want to be when I grow up", the things that bring me joy (operational excellence/business analyst/project managing) kind of line up with a *typical* INTJ IMO. I'm actually really happy to have put 2 and 2 together, and I have a great roadmap of success, without forcing myself to act a certain way for a job I hate/am not a good fit for. Or I could've just lucked out or something. 

The Rodent (not verified) says...

A Jose Mourinho type.

Rayne Michael (not verified) says...

It's crazy reading these comments and being able to relate to ever single one of you for one  aspect or another. I'm a singer myself so I'm glad to see more musicians in the thread. I also work as a Night Manager at a hotel because I prefer being alone. Almost to a point where it effects my relationships. Going on 6 years single and discovering a lot about myself in that time I know I have to be able to bend a little and be more flexible to the needs of others if I ever want to be in a relationship again. I've always been blunt and direct and often times people don't know how to handle that. So I keep a small circle of friends who get me but don't overwhelm me with drama etc either. I dunno I think I come off self serving or selfish in alot of ways without even trying to. I just like my space I guess. Hope someone else can relate to me the way I related to many of you! Happy Holidays 2019!

steven a weber (not verified) says...

Hey Michael, just a word of encouragement-- I very much relate to you, as I'm sure many other INTJ's do. I'm a musician as well, have loved to work alone, have spent most of my life living alone and have come to realize that I prefer it that way. I recently reunited with my last girlfriend of 25 years ago,(celibate since then), only with the intention of a platonic relationship, yet it soon became intimate, which naturally complicates everything. I soon realized how little people change and how the same issues arose. And having had all those years to live an "examined life"(as Socrates would say), I saw how unsuitable I was for an intimate relationship, and how this wasn't a bad thing. Life is hard enough dealing with ones own shit, but to take on anothers, often less examined life, with all of it's baggage, isn't worth the "tradeoff" to me. I know I'm deficient in the area of human touch, and this experience only confirmed this, but peace of mind is my gold standard, and is absolutely vital. I really could have written virtually everything you said myself: this is really quite uncanny finding all of these like minded, relatively rare kind in one place! Hang in there-you're not alone!

Adrian Brown (not verified) says...

I worked in hotels for a long while as well. Predominantly nights even when I was explicitly open to/used for flex-shifts.

Eventually the customer service aspect got to me, too many people just let ALL their BS come out. Its like what might happen if someone was to live with you, and become too casual with their issues. Its your job to make them (the Guest) comfortable but on the other hand they can get TOO comfortable and sometimes I felt like saying "Hey, I am friendly but I am not your friend keep your monkeys to yourself" like I am the wise old bartender who should be dishing them advice or something. 

On the other hand, I partly chose hotel work to challenge me to develope the other personality functions because as someone who was dysfunctionally introverted as a child I became keenly aware that to change the world I would have to become a person CAPABLE of changing the world. No longer dysfunctional thankfully and yet I over-extended myself and became unhappy. (About 13 years, across two different states and 6 hotels.)   

Currently moved to the country as got a good deal on a house, but a bit stressed on finding a job (various reasons).

I rather liked the accounting element to night work, and while I am in the middle of  "No-Where" (as they say) thinking of doing transcription in the very short term while studying accounting. Both of which can be done as freelance, or if employed have well established and accepted culture of allowing employees to work at home.

Its encouraging to read in the "Careers" section (near the very bottom) that we do well working independantly from home etc.

What really killed it for me, when I think back but focus on my body is the wearing down that 10+ years of a nocturnal schedule did to my hormones and other negative bodily effects and actually IIRC one's IQ starts dropping by a few points every year after the first two years of a primarily nocturnal schedule.

It was really this PLUS the customer service element... 

If I had to go back in time, I would have started doing freelance online work during slow nights to build up some of the skill and transitioned out to different work before I got past the point where I could effectively work both jobs. 

As far as relationships it was a long time before I was able to really do those, the friendship side doing ok. Quantity-wise I have more friends than most INTJs although inevitably only a few CLOSE friends. 

As for romantic relationships I haven't really cracked that code and given that;

1. There are only a few types that can share a "Grand Vision" which is what would contribute to a INTJs individual values orientation. Having similar values is important to long term relationship survival as it means ability to understand the others paradigm and decision-making process. (Fights over money? These are really on the next layer beneath fights over where MONEY SHOULD BE SPENT... What is valuable and hence where someones life should be directed and why.)  

2. There are few also that get our particular bluntness, and hence if I bring my walls will they be able to properly interpret and navigate that?

Maybe doing a deeper study of the inter-subjective relations of the types would help but I am currently at a loss and think it will just have to be another INTJ or perhaps the common mistype indicates compatibility - the INFJ...

We both have a well-defined "Door Slam" process that I can tell you...

I hope the above was helpful and interesting to you!

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