Choose other type

Primary tabs

How do INTJs communicate?

INTJs are direct and detached in their communication. They often naturally see how something could be done better and usually communicate their criticism in a straightforward, logical manner. They are typically independent and calm; they are not so much concerned about being liked or appreciated as they are with being competent and thoughtful. Their communications are typically well thought-out, insightful, and strategic. They often plan well into the future and offer big-picture analysis for improving systems.

What are INTJs like as partners?

In relationships, the INTJ is loyal but independent. INTJs can be almost scientific in choosing a mate and make devoted partners once they have found a match that fits their rigorous list of requirements. They often have clear ideas about what makes for a solid relationship and are unwavering in their pursuit of this ideal.

INTJs often have a passion for self-improvement and are encouraging of their partners' goals and intellectual pursuits. However, they do not usually see the need for frivolous affection or romance, feeling that their devotion should be evident. They are more focused on serving their partners with hard work and resourceful problem-solving than they are on showering them with attention.

INTJs' partners often find them difficult to read, and indeed they do not show emotion easily; they find the process of discussing emotions much too messy and disorganized. They enjoy solving difficult problems, but are often out of their depth when it comes to illogical, unpredictable personal issues.

INTJs value a partner that allows them the independence to achieve their goals, and one who appreciates their efficacy, insight, and ability to offer creative solutions to problems.

What are INTJs like as parents?

As parents, INTJs are devoted and supportive. They set firm limits and provide consistent reinforcement, but within that structure allow a lot of latitude for their children to explore their own interests and potential. They are encouraging of their childrens' intellectual pursuits and enthusiastic about sharing knowledge.

INTJs enjoy the process of developing a young mind, and get a lot of satisfaction from parenting. They want to develop productive, competent, and self-sufficient children who think for themselves.

INTJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the INTJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the INTJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The INTJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between INTJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

INTJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the INTJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the INTJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the INTJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the INTJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

Are you an INTJ?

Take the test and know for sure
Take the test

Primary tabs

Check out the INTJ Discussion Forum

Want to have a more in-depth conversation about being an INTJ? Head on over to our discussion forum and post your questions, comments, and/or general musings!


David (not verified) says...

Aka convince yourself something that is make believe is real. I think you want it because of the social implications in your life and you don't know what else you would want to do if you didn't have that option. Just a thought.

Guest (not verified) says...

And yet you are quick to conclude the former, atheist approach. I think you want to believe there is nothing more to our "touchy" "feely" side other than what we see. Clearly, an INTJ weakness and it's likely you will not see this as a weakness.

Until the creation of life and the universe can be proven, we all hold a belief based on personal opinion, not fact.

Guest (not verified) says...

Yes, the human mind, even that of an INTJ, is still susceptible to group-think mentality.

Guest (not verified) says...

I was drawn to your last statement as soon as I read it! I cannot tell you have much I have to filter my thoughts and run through every possible scenario before I say a word. It is almost exhausting but I have to or like you mentioned, I would be ostracized.

Although, I do differ in my thoughts about religion, I am always interested to hear why people believe in God because it makes absolutely no sense to me. I was raised Catholic, attended Catholic elementary and boarding schools and even through that at an early age did not get it. Then in college I had a semester or Social Psychology, Psychology, Sociology and Economics which concentrated on early economics of the middle east. All the areas of study covered religion that semester. After that I almost have to laugh when I hear about religion and god, yet I hope that does not offend anyone. That being said I completely disagree with some posts that imply morels come from believing in religion.

Rj-The-Odd-INTJ (not verified) says...

Completely agree. The religion system itself cripple the morals it teaches from my observation. I wanted to believe that "G-d" exist but i simple cant based on what's provided(no offense to anyone). What turns me off the most about religion is the hypocrisy going on behind closed doors and even in public.

Guest (not verified) says...

I also manage to be logical and faith-based. I have had questions come up that have required some digging, but so far, my beliefs have held up ever time. It really does make more sense that the universe was organized intentionally by a divine being. Everything-the solar system, the different life forms that exist-fits together too perfectly to accept any other explanation.
I also filter my thoughts before I say them out loud! Oftentimes I make connections between events that most of the people I talk to wouldn't immediately understand, and it's easier not to explain everything. I do have a few close friends (including family) who seem to have accepted that I don't express my thoughts often. If I try to have what I would consider a "real" conversation with someone who doesn't know me well, I usually end up getting strange looks and/or losing their interest.

adil111 says...


Guest (not verified) says...

Not an INTJ myself, but as a writer, I'm a fan of all personality types. I love how the comments in the INTJ section are so much more verbose than in others.

This demonstrates how INTJ's, despite being reserved, certainly do like to talk once they get going.

joseph.ironn says...

It has more to do with being excited to know ourselves, and you are the hardest person to know, because you have the potential to know yourself to an infinite extent, but actualizing that potential can take forever. It's a mysterious quest, and we find it hard to understand why others don't care. Others have very poor skills at knowing themselves or knowing others. Which is also why they are more social. If they saw people for who they really are, they would avoid others at all costs.

Guest (not verified) says...

I think it's that we know that most everyone else on here is going to understand us and how to respond to us, so we are more willing to ask questions and make observations. There's no point wasting your breath when nobody is going to understand or care what you have to say.

hiptone (not verified) says...

Pretty spot on! I am always looking to build a better mouse trap, and try a new way once I consider the options.

I tend to like myself and do indeed feel confident in my intellect and ability to foresee logical outcomes.

However, this part of the story also rings very true:

"They enjoy discussing interesting ideas, and may get themselves into trouble because of their take-no-prisoners attitude: if someone’s beliefs don’t make logical sense, the Mastermind typically has no qualms about pointing that out."

I can be too blunt, and have been told that I am mean once or twice. This was when I was being handed a load of B.S. and felt like calling it out. I could use a little more tact, and learn gentleness in working relationships.

Emma0518 says...

I'm with you there!

CrudeHypothesis (not verified) says...

I hypothesize the heuristic of initiating phylosophical discussions to gauge response will efficiently differentiate the INTJs from those who aren't.

Cheryl (not verified) says...

I love this analysis of INTJ's.
It is so me. As a female leader in a male dominated work force, I have been accused of being cold and too brusque. However when a difficult situation needs to be addressed, I'm the one who is called upon.

I have an ENTP who works for me and this gave me insight into why we frequently are not on the same page.

The parenting approach is spot on for me. It's how I have raised my three children.

I too am an INTJ that believes in God and has a very strong personal faith. I don't have time for those who question my faith or try to disprove it. I also won't spend my time debating with others a out why their interpretation of their God is better than mine. True INTJ approach to faith.....

Guest (not verified) says...

i agree my faith matters to me than most things because it is the only thing that keeps me based and wanting more.glad to find we are not just thinkers and rulers...we do submit to Jehovah

Guest (not verified) says...

I basically always test as an INTJ, and it's 95% spot on! I'm not quite as mathematically inclined as your careers for INTJ would suggest, but I'm actually a scientist nonetheless ;)
Very good test!

Aj says...

I'm am INTJ, and this describes me really well 99.98%, especially these points:

*They want to develop productive, competent, and self-sufficient children who think for themselves.

*gain the most satisfaction from turning their ideas into reality.

*although they usually prefer not to have to manage other people, they will take over if no other leader steps up.

*the Mastermind seeks a free exchange of ideas, not a personal connection.

*INTJs have a hunger for knowledge

*if asked a question, will typically consider it at length before presenting a careful, complex answer.

*Popular hobbies for the INTJ include reading, cultural events, taking classes, appreciating art, computers and video games, and independent sports such as swimming, backpacking, or running marathons.

*They tend to have a keen interest in self-improvement and are lifelong learners

*may sometimes neglect to listen to differing opinions once their mind is made up

*and have little patience for nonsense.

It explains lots of things which i couldn't explain to other people,and if i'm ever going to work or marry someone i'll make sure they know i'm an INTJ and what does it mean..
{In the relationships section, it would have been better if it was mentioned what type of personalities does an INTJ best get peered with..}


Rj-The-Odd-INTJ (not verified) says...

Champions(ENFP) go well with us. They are our Ideal match but there is no such thing as perfect (Though i am in love with the Champions based solely on their description). Counselor's(INFJ's) are good for us as well and the Third i do forget but i think it's the Inventor/Visionary(ENTP). Also what to pulled out describes me to the mark! I hate when people can't think for themselves with a passion... It ticks me off to my core. I hate to admit that i don't listen to others opinions when my mind is set but it's true. But back onto the topic of this comment a Champion(ENFP) is our Ideal match!!

Guest (not verified) says...

You guys talk too much to be true INTJ`s.

Lys (not verified) says...

I believe you are mistaken. We INTJs here are analyzing ourselves in depth and processing why we are they way we are. You can also see by all the replies that people are analyzing and testing the ideas of others. Seems pretty INTJ to me. No one said an INTJ had to be quiet.

Guest (not verified) says...

Nah, he's right. You people talk too much. The only reason I stopped scrolling and decided to reply was because I agree with the OP.

Also you're getting emotional and personal. They must be ENTJ's at best.

Emma0518 says...

I have 2 problems with this.
#1. By no way does the amount of talking or use of language indicate someone being, or not being, an INTJ. If you are referring to us being introverted, you should look up the definition of introvert. An introvert is not someone who does not talk or is shy necessarily, but is worn out by people and get their energy from time alone. That limit can vary from person to person, making them more or less talkative, or more or less social, but none the less introverted.

#2. Emotions. We have them too. Some INTJs are just more comfortable expressing them, especially anonymously online. Being an INTJ myself, I find it quite nice to be personal in an anonymous setting, but relating my emotions to family and friends is quite daunting.

Nice try, but arguing with an INTJ just doesn't end well, for as you said, we talk too much, and that may just mean we say our thoughts and feelings.

Guest (not verified) says...


Guest (not verified) says...

I think many of the people reading this who are not INTJs are forgetting the fact that we are on an ONLINE forum.. therefore we, introverted people, who would normally not speak up in a classroom, work setting, etc. that is full of extroverted people, have more of an opportunity to in an place where we all have plenty of time to THINK about our answers before we speak (INTJ quality) and the floor is stolen by extroverted people who typically are the first to SPEAK.

Shiloh Whittaker (not verified) says...

The "In a Nutshell" and "Relationships" pages are scarily accurate, but the "INTJ at Work" page was far from it. Not all, but a great many of the jobs listed/suggested sound like horribly dull desk jobs, but I have the wanderlust and a great passion for writing, photography, and certain periods in history. On a test very similar to this, I scored INTP, and when I looked it up on this site the job page was much more accurate (although a few dull desk jobs still showed up). However, I understand that I am an individual, and as such the test cannot be completely accurate. As I said before, the rest of the description sounds like me 100%. MERCI BEAUCOUP,, for the insight! :)

Guest3 (not verified) says...


I'm currently having a lot of trouble in finding the person I am. I can't be more satisfied to say that INTJ personality suits me best. I have taken a lot of personality test in which all of them have the same answer, INTJ.

Guest INTJ (not verified) says...

Almost didn't comment but want to ask advice. Am 62, female, strong INTJ. Mother, sister, and others disowned me as a teen, saying I was 'different' and 'you're not like like us'. In college at 56 yrs old, I overheard a 'professional' and co-student tell another student, "We don't include xxxx in our conversations because she's so 'different'; didn't you notice?" Pain is real bad; between medicine for hypertension and other medical'stuff', have gained 80 pounds.

Was brought up, in 1950s/1960s, to believe I should quit high school at 16, get married, and have children. If I wanted to finish high school, my choices, I was told, were to 'become' a nurse, teacher, or secretary, but there was no money and I had no knowledge at that time of grants and loans. I'became' a secretary. Graduated high schoool with honors in all the secretarial classes and a 4-year scholarship. Parents said, "No." to the idea of my going away to school. The belief was (in our 'home') that I was to work and remain in the home until I was married. Really archaic, huh? Really wanted to be a scientist (chemist), learn Latin, and dance on the side (for fun)since I was a little girl.

Am so glad I read this Meyers Briggs article. Took the test in 2012 and am trying to change myself....somehow. Am pretty good at being empathetic to others; big beliver in God-am a Lay Minister at a Protestant church. Can make sense of science and the Almighty. It's okay if you don't agree; sometimes I laugh at the scientists' beliefs and frustrations, too. Read science journals alot, too. Would love to learn calculus or trig; not sure which one yet, although I don't want to work at engineering nor architecture.

Have gone from one job to another for many years...boring, brainless jobs. Would like to take courses in science and/or math, esp. marine science, environmental science, and the like. Student loans are out of the question. Already over-burdened with repayments. Current degree is in Business Administration, Magna Cum Lud. Don't plan to retire.

Take jazz dancing to keep busy-great fun!

Have an INTP male childhood friend; he did really well in life but his parents understood that not everyone is alike. I believe parents need to treat each child as a gift and promote each particular child's individual gifts and learn to deal with their individual personalities. That would help to make a big difference in children's lives as they get older.

Any ideas of how, at my age, I can enter a science-oriented job with no experience, I'd like to hear from you.

Tim, I feel badly for you and understand, at least, some of the frustration and pain you feel. I'm taking a private jazz class for 15-20 minutes a week at a fee of $12. The teacher took it on as a 'medical experiment' as I have multiple pain conditions. It helps me forget the world for those brief minutes of time and gives me something to look forward to (or sometimes not). You have something to contribute to the rest of us who're 'different', according to some others. Keep writing/posting so we'll know what and how you're doing, emotionally and with the weight issue. I care and so do others. Thanks for listening.

Guest (not verified) says...

Dear fellow-INTJ,

I also am in my 60s, now retired. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family of ten kids (parents involuntarily committed to asylum--twice) along with poverty, uneducated parents, and strict religious training (Lutheran) and observance. Once when I told my psychiatrist, "Sometimes I feel like an alien", he replied, "You probably always will". Surprisingly, that gave me comfort; that, and finding out about the MBTI (in my mid-thirties) and my classification as INTJ. Reading the description was a revelation! That's me! At 18 I joined the Marines, expecting to go to Vietnam and probably die there; I didn't care. Instead of Vietnam they sent me to electronics school and then to Vietnamese language school, which I enjoyed, but never did go to Vietnam. Just as well. I didn't get promoted very far; just couldn't embrace the military mind-set very well, even tho I understood the need for discipline. Did you ever attend high school pep assemblies? I thought they were the biggest waste of time; just couldn't understand all the "school spirit" nonsense. I learned to avoid them, finding a place to read a book instead. The relationships description fits me well: happily married to an understanding woman for 40 years, absolutely loved being a dad to our 3 daughters and now a grandpa to a girl and 2 boys. I love reading to them and teaching them about the world. Friendships are few but deep; my best friendship has endured for nearly 60 years. I find that the common greeting of, "How are you?" irritates me because (for example) the grocery clerk doesn't care how I am nor would I share it anyway so why ask? I know they are required to greet customers, but there's a good example of how the INTJ type manifests itself. And altho I have learned how to be a much better listener and how to draw people out I do have a strong need for "alone time", whether curled up with a book or prowling the woods (by myself!) with a longbow during deer season. To the person who is interested in science and math, consider either water (drinking water) treatment or wastewater treatment. Altho you may be told you need a 2-year degree to get a job, that's not strictly true; especially with the smaller utilities. Just make an appt. at your local water or wastewater plant to find out about the field. If you show aptitude for the work, aren't afraid of math, and like to problem-solve using scientific principles, you might even be offered a job, or at least encouraged to apply for a position. Also check out this company: Veolia Water North America, my last employer. They are a private company (world-wide) that contracts to operate plants all over the USA. I repeat, do NOT assume you have to have a degree or even formal training; I didn't, and still got hired. Hard tho it may be--especially as an INTJ--you will need to gather the courage to go talk to people. Keep looking; you may find someone who senses your affinity for working independently and can solve problems using logic--and wants to hire you. Best of luck. By the way, I did a lot of self-study in math and finally took night classes in trig and calculus. I struggled with math in high school but did very well 20 years later. It was like my brain matured and I was very pleasantly surprised with my success. I still read constantly and love to continue learning.

Another Guest (not verified) says...

I am also an INTJ from your era, though about 5 years younger. I also had the rejection from other females in my life (aunts, mother, sisters) because I was not "submissive" which is pretty important in the patriarchal view of my religion. However, I was a fighter through and through. I went to college (paid 100% of my expenses because girls just did not do that), majored in chemistry, completed an MS in chemistry, but completely failed on the relationship part of school, work and life. Our society has certain expectations about how a woman "should be" and INTJ does NOT fit those expectations. I tell you this because you sound like you are down on yourself for not having a science education. I believe we INTJs contribute whether or not we have formal education. Your perception, analysis, and view of life is so valuable! I have been really hard on myself for being as I am. In the past 2-3 years, I quit judging me and started valuing me. Hard to do, but worth the effort.

Guest (not verified) says...

I already had taken a previous test but I was unsure of the results so I looked for a "second opinion" by taking another test. A guy posted his test results on a forum with an informative graphic that really caught my eye. The pictures with summary provided impressed me so I followed the link in the bottom right corner of the image. I feel that this test used better methods in obtaining information about me rather than making me answer 30+ questions in one go. I had a couple of border line results for some areas so I loved how this test gave me two possibilities along with some info to help me make a distinction about which might be my result.

I'm now more sure of my result (INTJ) even though I got the same result from the last test.

Thank you for this!

-R. M. Jr

Guest (not verified) says...

Dear all,

You do not look for this to describe you, that would be stupid. You use this to uderstand yourself nothing more, nothing less.

The truth is you should seek to be a rounded individual and not just stick to your type. For example, in our case, you would try to be more out going (extroverted)


Guest (not verified) says...

Good point. But clarify that the E/I label Isn't a reference to how outgoing you are. As leaders many of us are very extroverted socially, But when a problem needs to be solved we become introverted in our thinking.

Guest (not verified) says...

This describes me exactly! And, being a female INTJ, it explains why I have so much trouble making friends and getting to know people (especially other girls).

Anh (not verified) says...

This was so accurate. It even guessed the correct career field for me, anthropology.

Guest (not verified) says...

this is my second test, and i'm really an INTJ (first test says so too)..

Glo (not verified) says...

I a often peers thought I am insensitive & verily confident.. If they only knew.. :)

Leo (not verified) says...

I know an INTJ, and she is awesome.

Guest (not verified) says...

I'm certain I'm an INTJ. I only have one part of me that's a bit different. I have that really bad need to please so I always act like an extrovert around people, but after they get to know me they realize that I actually get flustered communicating with most people.

Ihc (not verified) says...

damn, I am this. from top to bottom. like what others said, i also thought at first that i am weird.

Guest (not verified) says...

Mostly me, but I am definitely not a perfectionist. In fact, I'm quite sloppy.

Guest (not verified) says...

Finally, something that understands my view on relationships! I am not a physically intimate person and people think I am strange for it. I believe that a real relationship is started, kept, and maintained by talking and interacting with one another. Not hanging out in bed together.

Guest (not verified) says...

Hello, this is very true, a little different, but pretty much the same.

Guest (not verified) says...

This describes me in many ways! ...except I've learned how to operate on a social level in combination with my intellectual side. I have my preferences on how social communication should occur, but I accept the reality and choose to adapt to it accordingly.

Nieesha (not verified) says...

Ok , I Know That Im Not The Only One With This . ( :

Guest (not verified) says...

still confused if i am an INTJ or INFJ - im quite in the middle but my occupation now and my future career plan fits the INTJ ...however, i want to be become a counselor or psychologist too which is very INFJ

Guest (not verified) says...

This describes me pretty well. I took the personality test and scored 4-5% away from an INFJ. I took a look at that profile too, but this one describes me much better. the only thing I would say is different is that I am better at applying my knowledge to personal issues and i am also more in tune with my emotions than this describes.

Jeremiah (not verified) says...

It seems as though there are two commonalities among commenters who identify as INTJ:

1. Depression seems to be fairly common
2. Weight-gain and problems with weight

My guess is that the two might be correlated in some way, maybe even causually. INTJ's may be more susceptible to depression, due to their inward-focused nature, and perhaps because their unusual combination of personality traits make it harder for them to fit in with society at large. The need to be challenged intellectually and to find a career that is fulfilling also seem related to these emotional conundrums. The eating issues are probably partly because of the changes in our diets over the course of several generations (more grains and sugars), to the decrease in exercise, and to other cultural factors. However, I have a feeling that the fact that INTJ's are so focused on the intellectual and internal persuits, we may simply not be paying attention to what we're doing when we eat. Eating is not that exciting intellectually, so they may sublimate it and do it automatically. Because eating is no longer consciously controlled, the vaunted powers of logical and strategic planning become difficult to apply.

I would suggest that INTJ's create plans for themselves which make the correct behavior inevitable in terms of eating and exercising:

* Plan your meals and diet well in advance, always use a shopping list
* Carry approved snacks with you, so that if you notice you are hungry, you can eat
* Eat breakfast and plan your day at the same time
* Create a routine that forces you to end up at a gym or workout room every day, even if you just run in place for a bit, creating the habit is the most vital.
* Take a walk to help you figure out that difficult puzzle/problem you are trying to solve.

The increase in physical activity should help with some of the depression, but I think that additional help could be gained by:

* Seeking friends in hobbies that other INTJ's (and those of intellectual merit) frequent
* Taking baby steps towards the big project or strategy that you have been secretly wanting to do, but lacked the confidence in. Any progress will start to help your sense of self-esteem, even if it's just creating that first planning document.
* If at all possible change carriers to one that is more challenging intellectually
* Write a journal or diary, that way you can look back and see the progress you're making

Hopefully some of that could be helpful to some of you.
I myself am also an INTJ, in case it wasn't obvious ;)

Good luck everyone!

Anon (not verified) says...

Each category is an excellent description of my personality.

I'm 22 and working a minimum wage job. My work is easy but I'm only doing it because I feel totally lost and confused in regards to choosing a career that will be rewarding on a personal level. Naturally, I have many interests and enjoy learning for my own personal development, but I feel it is precisely that that makes me feel lost and confused. It's easy to feel indifferent or happy on a good day or when I don't think about my current state, but when I do think about it, I just feel sad because I'm truly discontent. I need creative and intellectual stimulation to make me happy, but my current work doesn't really call for either and I don't get enough of it on my own. I just don't know what to do and my feelings of discontent are at an all-time high. I'm making it a goal to enroll in classes by Spring. I feel I should take courses in different fields of study to get an idea of what it is I feel most "natural" doing and then I'll go from there. I just hope I find something, because I can't go on like this.

I was reading through the comments and some things really stood out to me. It's so true what another INTJ here said; we have to simplify our thoughts when we speak to others because they won't understand or they'll think we're weird. Most times it's easiest to not speak at all. This make us seem like pompous, intellectual elitists, but everyone is like this, different people just look for different things. There's only been a tiny handful of actual friends in my life and only one kindred spirit, but most people in my life are JUST people, including most of my family and "friends" I've known for years. I can honestly say that my relationships with most people are superficial because our only bond will be over trivial things but absolutely nothing that counts. Because I'm also pretty socially selective, I hardly ever bother talking to anyone in real life.

The "hanging out in bed together" comment - I couldn't have put it better myself! Society puts too much emphasis on the importance of sex and "showing" affection and I feel that kind of thinking is partly why so many people spend their lives looking to fulfill stupid fantasies and fairy tales. I want to throw up every time I have to listen to people (mostly the young) talk about how their relationships aren't "what they used to be" because their partner doesn't sweet talk or doesn't tell them how cute they are anymore and all that nonsense. Why can't more people see that it just means they're past the wooing stage?! If more people layed out their mess honestly for their partner or just cut the BS from the start, things would be so much easier and I truly believe people would be happier with one another. Whether a relationship is platonic or not, ALL relationships are nice and sweet in the beginning because neither person is comfortable enough with one another to jump right into personal details or touchy subjects before they've had a chance to get to know each other better. I got a little off-topic concerning sex, but that's really my biggest gripe about relationships. Sex and flowers and compliments aren't the most important things in truly honest and loving relationships.

Free_Nemo (not verified) says...

I'm 30 and self employed, everything works best when I'm the boss. I've had many jobs, from stocking shelves at Office Depot... I got employee of the month for organizing the entire store (surprisingly I liked this job but not nearly enough pay). I've worked on a lot of construction jobs. Including being a supervisor for a modular construction company (I heard the name a$$hole or worse behind my back and to my face more times then I care to count, fired some of them... but if they were working when I heard it good for them, $hit duty until their attitude and mine improved, I feel the need to justice my actions and if I could get a grown man to pick up other peoples trash and then come ask me what else needs to be done, then they could regain a small fraction of my respect and go back to doing their regular job.

Now being self employed with this personality is a challenge. Mainly cultivating relationships with contractors, is the biggest challenge and the cause of many anxiety attacks. But the plus is once a contractor sees the quality of the work I do and realizes that the value goes beyond just getting the job done, but any questions that they have will be answered just as soon I have a solution (which should be right about now.) Their entire thought process is changed and they can come to me with questions or just ask me what needs to be done, how much is it going to cost and how long is it going to take. In a nutshell they see that it more cost efficient to pay me to sweat the details and they learn to trust my process and my judgement. I'm a tile setter and only work on high end custom residential construction jobs.

However my life still fells lacking. I've reached a peak in my ability to perfect the art of tiling to any degree higher than perfect, and once perfection is achieved I start to loose ambition. I've been able to counter this for the time being by creating a bid calculator in ms excel that is on the verge of being a computer program in its own right. This gives me the need to validate the software's output in the real world so I continue to go to work and make money. In addition I decided that I'm going to build a web page for my company, so my thirst for knowledge is being quenched as I learn to code using html/css, java, ruby and a couple other coding programs. Some websites I find very useful are codecademy and if you just seek knowledge try the khan academy. By the way all people with INTJ should learn how to code, computers do what you tell them to do and its fun to figure out how to talk to a computer and get a logical response or action.

I'm also thinking for the 12th year in row that I should go to college. This is a difficult thought, because it means admitting that their are limits to what I can learn on my own. I love physics but building a large hadron collider of my own might raise some eye brows and unfortunately I'm lacking the billions of dollars needed. I'm not saying I want to be a physicist, that's just the largest most expensive machine that I would like to play around with. I have an engineering mindset and I reverse engineer most objects or concepts that I encounter. So for me the question of what to go to college for is relatively easy, just narrow the list down to the most exciting job in the least attractive occupation. I'm thinking maybe inner space engineering. I'm a pyro and love watching rockets takeoff or explode, as long as know one is hurt or killed. I hold astronauts in the highest regard and morn ever life lost to the space program. They are my true heroes people willing to trust their lives with an engineers knowledge to further the cause of knowledge.

And love. I've been in love and I know the feeling of being loved. But relationships are extremely difficult for me. I've tried dating sites and just ended up with a steady stream of junk mail. If I have one more date in my life I'll probably be extremely lucky and muck it up completely, as always. I still try though with the hope that one day I'll run into another INTJ. Unfortunately I'll probably literally have to run into them, knock them down, and when we both realize that were at fault it'll be love at first sight after the swelling goes down.

Religion. I might as well give my view on this also and add to the monolog. I haven't figured out the universe yet. So I admit their might be a dog. I don't subscribe to any religious ideology, because of mans ability to subversive knowledge for personal gain. I believe Jesus was an extraordinary man and most of his teachings are easily validated and make moral sense. I have no patience for someone who will argue that the world was built in seven days, in my thinking the jobs not yet completed. My other dislike of religion is purely personal but I was required to sing Christmas carols in front of a large congregation as a child, actually I was forced to stand on stage while my peers sang carols and I tried not to faint from my anxiety attacks, sometimes unsuccessfully. To this day I have a deep hatred of Christmas solely for that reason and only "celebrate" it to make my family happy and avoid that argument. As soon as they start singing or playing carols I quietly slip away until the next year.

I don't know if this answers anything or just validates that I'm INTJ. Also my IQ is in the 170 - 180 range.

Alexandra (not verified) says...

I think this all fits very well and I was pleased to see the section on parenting. I am only 20, not yet a parent, but have always kind of wondered about whether I would be good with raising children because of how analytical I am.
I am glad to know there are others like me and I in some ways draw reassurance from the fact that I am part of a personality type that holds less than 1% of females, if only because it helps me understand why others don't understand my behaviors most of the time- they've likely not really know an INTJ before, and if they have it is less likely that it was a woman. I am very independent and most of the time quite confident in myself but all humans need to feel like they are not facing this life entirely alone.
I would lastly put in that although I do not necessarily care to be around groups of people (and often crave the company of a single intelligent conversationalist) I can be very outgoing when the situation calls for it and I would most likely attribute any residual shyness to my only child upbringing in a quiet house.
I do love that most of these responses are so well thought out and executed. From here on out, INTJ's when you're feeling misunderstood or under appreciated know that you are not alone!

Share your thoughts

Truity up to date