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How do INTJs communicate?

INTJs are direct and detached in their communication. They often naturally see how something could be done better and usually communicate their criticism in a straightforward, logical manner. They are typically independent and calm; they are not so much concerned about being liked or appreciated as they are with being competent and thoughtful. Their communications are typically well thought-out, insightful, and strategic. They often plan well into the future and offer big-picture analysis for improving systems.

What are INTJs like as partners?

In relationships, the INTJ is loyal but independent. INTJs can be almost scientific in choosing a mate and make devoted partners once they have found a match that fits their rigorous list of requirements. They often have clear ideas about what makes for a solid relationship and are unwavering in their pursuit of this ideal.

INTJs often have a passion for self-improvement and are encouraging of their partners' goals and intellectual pursuits. However, they do not usually see the need for frivolous affection or romance, feeling that their devotion should be evident. They are more focused on serving their partners with hard work and resourceful problem-solving than they are on showering them with attention.

INTJs' partners often find them difficult to read, and indeed they do not show emotion easily; they find the process of discussing emotions much too messy and disorganized. They enjoy solving difficult problems, but are often out of their depth when it comes to illogical, unpredictable personal issues.

INTJs value a partner that allows them the independence to achieve their goals, and one who appreciates their efficacy, insight, and ability to offer creative solutions to problems.

What are INTJs like as parents?

As parents, INTJs are devoted and supportive. They set firm limits and provide consistent reinforcement, but within that structure allow a lot of latitude for their children to explore their own interests and potential. They are encouraging of their childrens' intellectual pursuits and enthusiastic about sharing knowledge.

INTJs enjoy the process of developing a young mind, and get a lot of satisfaction from parenting. They want to develop productive, competent, and self-sufficient children who think for themselves.

INTJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the INTJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the INTJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The INTJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between INTJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

INTJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the INTJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the INTJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the INTJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the INTJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

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Comments

lisavishoot says...

I'm over 40 and still having trouble conveying my ideas to others, even when to me it's as clear as glass. I'd even get frustrated and start to stutter. I passed up promotions because they involved a lot of speaking, explaining, etc. And to make matters worse, I'm a lefty and I'm mainly using my right (non-verbal) brain. I'm an artist, and at first didn't know how that fit into being an INTJ, but now I see that somehow in my mind art and science are one. I'm female too, and it sounds like female INTJ's are even rarer than males. Well, from the list of famous INTJ's and everyone's comments here, I am in great company.

Guest (not verified) says...

I enjoyed reading your information. As I am also a female INTJ and the area you wrote about your communication skills with others..that is so me. I am 52 and only found out about this personality type through myers briggs a couple of years ago..my son was in the military and told me about it. I was considered weird my mother once said..why can't you be like everyone else..I told her I am not every one else, I am my own person. The thinking judging portion was so high for me..I was always analyzing thoughts in my head and everything going on around me. It was of help for me at this age as my sisters & parents never got anywhere, lived off the system. I, thinking through everything, have been married 26 years & own 5 homes. If anything, intj personality types , we can muddle through a lot. It can be extremely lonely especially when intjs are younger, teen years, depression can set in because we just don't fit anywhere. Sorry I am rambling on...I have read a lot of what people have written...probably 90% hits home with me. Now my husband and I are looking towards retirement.

Guest (not verified) says...

As an INTJ whose introversion is mild to moderate, while the other preferences are all hard over, I can say that discovering personality type theory enabled me to be much more accepting of myself and others. I have found that preferable to looking at large sections of humanity as either fools or criminals.

Guest (not verified) says...

I've struggled with the same things, that feeling of being completely misunderstood when the answer is so clear in my own mind - and why do others not see it too! And yes, it's sometimes hard to explain to others because I just "see" the logical outcome but have a hard time walking others through it. Now I can at least better understand the disconnect and not get so frustrated. Nice to know I'm not the only one....

Guest (not verified) says...

I have this problem at times, but then I figure out the person's intellectual and cultural grounds and explain my insane theory with examples that suits their intellect or culture. Maybe they still don't understand but then at least I keep them interested. And then I just skip the painful process of explaining the hard part, which also I do.

Guest 2.0 (not verified) says...

This is really cool how spot on this is.

Guest (not verified) says...

Loved this! Very detailed and applicable. I especially enjoyed the parenting section! (^_^)

nora.freiwald says...

Great information.
It fits me perfectly and helped me better understand some aspects of my personality that on ocassion I made me feel out of place.
Thank you!

Angelica (not verified) says...

The relationship section was something I had the most trouble with but it explained a lot about myself, I thought maybe I was too cold.

Joanne (not verified) says...

INTJ needs to balance the outer and inner world. It is good to abstract knowledge of various kinds, even to something one does not like. Participating in it with a full insightful comprehension and presenting / communicating it in a much simplified manner, add some flavor of empathetic feelings and emotions. Many INTJ face problem with feelings, they even abuse their own feelings. Learn to talk into people's heart by taking others as a 'challenging subject' in order to make them understand what an INTJ is talking about, the relationship can gradually built up. It is a good start to get into the outer world. Relationship is no doubt an important surviving ingredients in the society. Though INTJ does not feel lonely being alone, they must not forget all subjects that are processed in their minds are largely came from people- relationship. Balance the emotional world well, it's an interesting place.

Denise (not verified) says...

A couple of minor differences, but overall; spot-on!

Jason in WI (not verified) says...

This was very interesting, and very accurately describes the way I perceive myself, except that I do deeply believe in a higher power. As an INTJ, I really do want to make sense of the world around me, and there is SO much about the world that makes perfect sense once you accept that God exists and that there's a grand design behind the way we were created. I can understand why most INTJs do not believe in God; I've got one good friend who's an INTJ who thinks I'm a fool for being a believer. I'd be curious to talk with other believing INTJs to learn about what their perceptions are of God and our role in the universe. This is really fascinating stuff!

David Lee (not verified) says...

Jason,
Yeah, the whole least likely to be spiritual was interesting. I would say I would not be a believer unless my brother came to God first. Feel free to contact me darysheron@yahoo.com

Guest (not verified) says...

Hi Jason I do believe in God and what i explain to others is that Religion teaches morals and you cant argue against morals.

Guest (not verified) says...

"you cant argue against morals" - You realise that that is precisely what philosophy is for. Arguing morals, what to base them on and whether or not they actually (need to) exist.

Guest (not verified) says...

I'm sorry but you can't say religion is based on morals when priests sexually assault children and seek to get away with it, among other questionable religious behaviour.

Guest (not verified) says...

Agreed.

Guest (not verified) says...

I too am an INTJ that believes in a higher power. To me it just makes sense. I can't look at anything without seeing a beautiful, logical, complex design. Therefore, there must be a designer. Besides, there is a spiritual aspect to my nature that is separate from just feeling and thinking; mind and body. These tests don't address that.

Guest (not verified) says...

yes i agree with that.As i believe in supernatural things / higher power too, like UFOs. Yet the report didn't buy that .....

Gnostic (not verified) says...

I was raised Catholic and it took me a long time to break free of religion. For a long time I just ignored the ambivalance. It is a tough thing to decide that it is okay to let go of that safety net. But in a moment I thought of everything that we know about the world. Things that were not known 2000 years ago. And for me - there was no longer anywhere for a god to be hiding. We now know what is out there. And there isn't any God in my opinion. However; I still appreciate the ideas expressed... It is a kind of noble bravery to decide to follow the ideas about loving your neighbor as yourself - even when you "don't have to" and even when you think people are not very worthy of it. I much rather living this idea of a higher purpose in my own life than giving into a life based on no noble bravery of any kind. In that case, without purpose, life would just not be interesting I think. And so I have my projects. I use my extroverted thinking to explain my alternate religion ideas in social media (like this) and I try to implement my ideas in the real world.

Guest (not verified) says...

I do believe in God. Just not the traditional sense. That is still belief. I think INTJs that don't believe at some stage are probably not INTJs for this simple reason - to do true analysis you would immerse yourself totally in the concept. You may reject it after immersion however you were still immersed and had to in some way synthesize belief. That belief is then held up to scrutiny like never before and you come out of the other side of the analysis having reached your conclusion. Total rejection often means that the questions were inadequately answered because the SME's consulted were emotive/condescending/dismissive/avoidant/unreasoning/(insert adjective of choice). God and science are the same thing. The same way intellect and intuition are the same thing. Intuition makes that jump to conclusion by skipping over the intervening areas and intellect follows the methodical process. They can work well together or be put into conflict/opposition to each other by the mind observing them.

Guest (not verified) says...

If you are really interested in these subjects I would recommend reading books by two Sufi masters who were both remarkably lucid and logical. Their names are Hazrat Inayat Khan and Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan - They were respectively father and son. Both of these teachers were brilliant and pragmatic mystics - a very rare breed to be sure! And consummate teachers as well! They taught from a standpoint of the unity of religious ideals. Their works are complimentary. For an INTJ they are probably the best references I can give you, or anybody else looking for real knowledge given by those who actually did know about what they wrote. There is not a doubt in my mind that Pir Vilayat Khan was in fact enlightened before he died. I was absolutely astonished when I had the opportunity to hear him speak. I have never been in a room with anybody like that man, though a Tibetan Lama I heard lecture once probably was enlightened as well. If you want to know the truth about God, you have to find somebody who has met God. But they are rare as hens teeth. I have met perhaps two in 50 years of searching. But, if you are lucky enough to find the real thing, it probably will change your life forever. And that can also be a very scary thing. Worth it ultimately, but not easy by any means.

For an INTJ, their direct and clear writing is a must. There are many great mystical teachings, but most mystics didn't teach the method except to their close students. Other mystics were just incapable of teaching. These two teachers were remarkably able to write and get the concepts across most of the time if you are willing to think it through. It takes some work, though. One teaching by Hazrat Inayat Khan that I read made no sense at all to me until I had read three different lectures he gave on the subject. Suddenly, I comprehended the idea. As soon as I got it, I realized that this concept does not exist in English. I understood it, but there was no way for me to explain it to somebody else or even remember what it was. It simply got incorporated into how I understand the world in a single flash of insight. I suddenly understood the relationship between at least 10 things I had suspected were related, but had never been able to understand how. And the lectures were in English. I still cannot imagine how he was able to get the idea across at all! Unbelievable genius. If you are interested in religion and the question of God, you owe it to yourself to read their works. Really brilliant stuff. Best of luck!

Emma0518 says...

Thank you for saying this, and I agree. I do believe in a higher power, but not necessarily a "god". There is certainly something else out there beyond our control that science simply cannot define. The Meyers Briggs test tells us we all have personalities, and we have found ways to convey emotions and develop our own thoughts, but where does that all go when we die. It's not like matter that can never be destroyed, for it has no mass in the first place. It's just the electric pulses in our brains that one could say gets "unplugged", but I want to believe that there's something more there than just bolts of lightning in the muscle within our heads. Some people may call them "souls". Do they get reincarnated, or redistributed, into another human being? Do they form into ghosts? Do they survive in an afterlife? It's one of the great mysteries of life, which unfortunately for us folks who want logical answers, is not possible to be solved until death. I just hope that there is something, for nothing would be rather boring.

emerald (not verified) says...

Jason, your comment intrigues me much, I an INTJ and I believe in super power, I love and hate practice of religion at the same time and I angage myself in analyzing and deconstruct the idea of Gods existence every now and then. A few days ago, I was reading about Stephen hawking's life (He is an INTJ too (with issac assimov and issac newton), how exciting !!), I thought It's really interesting what he thinks about God's existence , "the universe is governed by the laws of science. The laws may have been decreed by God, but God does not intervene to break the laws."

Our role in the universe is something that i also think often, think to the point of getting a fatigue, but unfortunately I haven't found an answer for myself yet.

Megan H (not verified) says...

I'm 18 years old, an INTJ and I believe in God. First of all, I grew up in church, so I definitely had religion instilled in me from a young age. About 2-2.5 years ago was when I really started to mature and my INTJ personality really started to come out. It definitely caused me to question whether I believed my upbringing was right or not. I thought about it very often and I had some serious doubts for a while and considered what other options there were besides a higher power, but I eventually came to the conclusion that there has to be a God. I don't have enough faith to believe that everything in this world has come to pass simply because of chance. It doesn't make sense to me.

Guest (not verified) says...

As an INTJ, I cannot believe in evolution of human being through random processes as some stupid scientists try to deceive us. Considering this fact, it is very close to believing in God. And in Jesus in particular. Would some intelligent Being create a man and would not tell him about it? And are you aware of any other option than Jesus's story, i.e. complex enough and logically consistent in basic ideas and giving a true meaning in almost everything? Personally I do not know alternative. Despite what some churches and preachers says, it is possible to think of Christian/Bible-based system that is pretty consistent, logical and making much more sense to an INTJ than standard atheism with evolution as an explanation of our existence. Not that I would know all the answers but my current belief fits much better and creates much less unanswerable questions, and eliminates all objections. In fact is is possible to answer or explain almost everything but there is no guarantee the answer is correct. It just satisfies me because of the possibility, i.e. consistency of the system of the faith.

Stacie D. (not verified) says...

I agree. When I was an undergrad in speech class, I gave a speech on primordial ooze and creationism. I compared the two and concluded that, in the end, the two were merely based on faith. We (as humans) could no more "prove" primordial ooze today than we could "prove" God and creationism. I, as an INTJ, choose to put my faith in God. Just as I cannot see the wind, I cannot see God, per se. I can see evidence of the wind in the rustling of the leaves on a tree. In the same way, I can see the evidence of
God in His creation, in my child's eye's, in answered prayer, in the uniqueness of a fingerprint...It is all around us--in the mundane and extraordinary.

Guest (not verified) says...

i personally do not think that a god is even possible. science explains everything and the things it cant are just things we havent discovered yet. and i refuse to believe that an all powerful being is allowing innocent people to die. like they are not being 'tested' it is just stupid humans blowing up others and if there is an all powerful being he is a massive dick because there are murders, racism, sexism, wars, famines, diseases. i dont get why people would believe in a god. sure your life might be fine and 'blessed' but there are other people in the world with shitty lives.

Phil (not verified) says...

This is awesome. I thought I was alone, but it seems that there are more people like me!

(my few cents on the faith thing) I have found that although it is hard to be logical and faith-based, it is possible. I use my reasoning skills to help justify that there is a God. I also have an atheist friend that I am very close to, and I told him that I can't prove God (there would be no need for faith), but I can answer any questions he has. I just figure if I can't answer one of his questions, then I need to reexamine my beliefs or drop them.

(back to what I was originally going to say) The only thing that I struggle with as an INTJ is that I really want people to see my competence. Unfortunately, my introverted nature doesn't help with first impressions. I can be extroverted, but it is very draining and I don't want to say something wrong in my college interview. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Any ideas on how to get others to see the mastermind side? (preferably without saying "Hey! I'm an INTJ!" because that would definitely be strange)

(in social situations, not leadership) Does anyone else have to constantly filter their thoughts before they say them out loud? I usually have to either dumb down my thoughts into layman's terms or not say anything so people don't shun me. (I find surface conformity to be helpful so I have friends, so people like me, and so I have their support if it is ever needed)

Guest (not verified) says...

I am an INTJ and I strongly believe you can be logical and faith-based, I'm Catholic as were some of the greatest minds in history have been. St. Thomas Aquinas wrote of the 5 proofs for the existence of God: Argument from Motion, Argument from Efficient Causes, Argument from Possibility and Necessity, Argument from Gradation of Being, and Argument of Design. Look them up.

Guest (not verified) says...

I am an INTJ and have a very strong faith (I intend to go to rabbinical school). But logically many of Aquainas' arguments are flawed. Allow me to elaborate.

*The fact that things move does not preclude that there is an entity/deity acting as an external mover.
*The fact that things tend to achieve the lowest state of energy (perceived as efficiency) does not preclude that there is an entity/deity acting as a cause of efficiency.
*"Possibility and necessity" completely falls apart like this:
- if you "Assume that every being (including a deity) is a contingent being." and "For each contingent being, there is a time it does not exist." Then logically there is a time when G-d did not exist and by this definition He fails to be G-d.
- if you decide that "there could have been a time when no things existed." and you then state "Therefore at that time there would have been nothing to bring the currently existing contingent beings into existence." you would be wrong. While no tangible things existed, the existence of constant and consistent fields seems to be the origin of everything (according to M Theory). So unless you intend to redefine G-d as permeating fields but an absence of consciousness and will, this argument works against the presence of G-d.
*Just because we are able to see that in most cases some things are better than others, that does not preclude that there is an entity/deity who is perfect in every way ans who is the cause of the existence of all things.
*The fact that evolution exists does not preclude an entity/deity who is an intelligent designer.

That being said, faith is not logical and can not be proven logically or scientifically. The word "faith" is defined as "Complete trust or confidence in someone or something." and as such defies any logic or science. As long as you can comprehend this *and* make peace with it, you can be an INTJ and a person of faith.

David (not verified) says...

Aka convince yourself something that is make believe is real. I think you want it because of the social implications in your life and you don't know what else you would want to do if you didn't have that option. Just a thought.

Guest (not verified) says...

And yet you are quick to conclude the former, atheist approach. I think you want to believe there is nothing more to our "touchy" "feely" side other than what we see. Clearly, an INTJ weakness and it's likely you will not see this as a weakness.

Until the creation of life and the universe can be proven, we all hold a belief based on personal opinion, not fact.

Guest (not verified) says...

Yes, the human mind, even that of an INTJ, is still susceptible to group-think mentality.

Guest (not verified) says...

I was drawn to your last statement as soon as I read it! I cannot tell you have much I have to filter my thoughts and run through every possible scenario before I say a word. It is almost exhausting but I have to or like you mentioned, I would be ostracized.

Although, I do differ in my thoughts about religion, I am always interested to hear why people believe in God because it makes absolutely no sense to me. I was raised Catholic, attended Catholic elementary and boarding schools and even through that at an early age did not get it. Then in college I had a semester or Social Psychology, Psychology, Sociology and Economics which concentrated on early economics of the middle east. All the areas of study covered religion that semester. After that I almost have to laugh when I hear about religion and god, yet I hope that does not offend anyone. That being said I completely disagree with some posts that imply morels come from believing in religion.

Rj-The-Odd-INTJ (not verified) says...

Completely agree. The religion system itself cripple the morals it teaches from my observation. I wanted to believe that "G-d" exist but i simple cant based on what's provided(no offense to anyone). What turns me off the most about religion is the hypocrisy going on behind closed doors and even in public.

Guest (not verified) says...

I also manage to be logical and faith-based. I have had questions come up that have required some digging, but so far, my beliefs have held up ever time. It really does make more sense that the universe was organized intentionally by a divine being. Everything-the solar system, the different life forms that exist-fits together too perfectly to accept any other explanation.
I also filter my thoughts before I say them out loud! Oftentimes I make connections between events that most of the people I talk to wouldn't immediately understand, and it's easier not to explain everything. I do have a few close friends (including family) who seem to have accepted that I don't express my thoughts often. If I try to have what I would consider a "real" conversation with someone who doesn't know me well, I usually end up getting strange looks and/or losing their interest.

adil111 says...

99%me

Guest (not verified) says...

Not an INTJ myself, but as a writer, I'm a fan of all personality types. I love how the comments in the INTJ section are so much more verbose than in others.

This demonstrates how INTJ's, despite being reserved, certainly do like to talk once they get going.

joseph.ironn says...

It has more to do with being excited to know ourselves, and you are the hardest person to know, because you have the potential to know yourself to an infinite extent, but actualizing that potential can take forever. It's a mysterious quest, and we find it hard to understand why others don't care. Others have very poor skills at knowing themselves or knowing others. Which is also why they are more social. If they saw people for who they really are, they would avoid others at all costs.

Guest (not verified) says...

I think it's that we know that most everyone else on here is going to understand us and how to respond to us, so we are more willing to ask questions and make observations. There's no point wasting your breath when nobody is going to understand or care what you have to say.

hiptone (not verified) says...

Pretty spot on! I am always looking to build a better mouse trap, and try a new way once I consider the options.

I tend to like myself and do indeed feel confident in my intellect and ability to foresee logical outcomes.

However, this part of the story also rings very true:

"They enjoy discussing interesting ideas, and may get themselves into trouble because of their take-no-prisoners attitude: if someone’s beliefs don’t make logical sense, the Mastermind typically has no qualms about pointing that out."

I can be too blunt, and have been told that I am mean once or twice. This was when I was being handed a load of B.S. and felt like calling it out. I could use a little more tact, and learn gentleness in working relationships.

Emma0518 says...

I'm with you there!

CrudeHypothesis (not verified) says...

I hypothesize the heuristic of initiating phylosophical discussions to gauge response will efficiently differentiate the INTJs from those who aren't.

Cheryl (not verified) says...

I love this analysis of INTJ's.
It is so me. As a female leader in a male dominated work force, I have been accused of being cold and too brusque. However when a difficult situation needs to be addressed, I'm the one who is called upon.

I have an ENTP who works for me and this gave me insight into why we frequently are not on the same page.

The parenting approach is spot on for me. It's how I have raised my three children.

I too am an INTJ that believes in God and has a very strong personal faith. I don't have time for those who question my faith or try to disprove it. I also won't spend my time debating with others a out why their interpretation of their God is better than mine. True INTJ approach to faith.....

Guest (not verified) says...

i agree my faith matters to me than most things because it is the only thing that keeps me based and wanting more.glad to find we are not just thinkers and rulers...we do submit to Jehovah

Guest (not verified) says...

I basically always test as an INTJ, and it's 95% spot on! I'm not quite as mathematically inclined as your careers for INTJ would suggest, but I'm actually a scientist nonetheless ;)
Very good test!

Aj says...

I'm am INTJ, and this describes me really well 99.98%, especially these points:

*They want to develop productive, competent, and self-sufficient children who think for themselves.

*gain the most satisfaction from turning their ideas into reality.

*although they usually prefer not to have to manage other people, they will take over if no other leader steps up.

*the Mastermind seeks a free exchange of ideas, not a personal connection.

*INTJs have a hunger for knowledge

*if asked a question, will typically consider it at length before presenting a careful, complex answer.

*Popular hobbies for the INTJ include reading, cultural events, taking classes, appreciating art, computers and video games, and independent sports such as swimming, backpacking, or running marathons.

*They tend to have a keen interest in self-improvement and are lifelong learners

*may sometimes neglect to listen to differing opinions once their mind is made up

*and have little patience for nonsense.

It explains lots of things which i couldn't explain to other people,and if i'm ever going to work or marry someone i'll make sure they know i'm an INTJ and what does it mean..
{In the relationships section, it would have been better if it was mentioned what type of personalities does an INTJ best get peered with..}

THANK YOU SO MUCH TRUITY.COM!

Rj-The-Odd-INTJ (not verified) says...

Champions(ENFP) go well with us. They are our Ideal match but there is no such thing as perfect (Though i am in love with the Champions based solely on their description). Counselor's(INFJ's) are good for us as well and the Third i do forget but i think it's the Inventor/Visionary(ENTP). Also what to pulled out describes me to the mark! I hate when people can't think for themselves with a passion... It ticks me off to my core. I hate to admit that i don't listen to others opinions when my mind is set but it's true. But back onto the topic of this comment a Champion(ENFP) is our Ideal match!!

Guest (not verified) says...

You guys talk too much to be true INTJ`s.

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