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The INFP Personality Type

INFPs are imaginative idealists, guided by their own core values and beliefs. To a Healer, possibilities are paramount; the realism of the moment is only of passing concern. They see potential for a better future, and pursue truth and meaning with their own individual flair.

INFPs are sensitive, caring, and compassionate, and are deeply concerned with the personal growth of themselves and others. Individualistic and nonjudgmental, INFPs believe that each person must find their own path. They enjoy spending time exploring their own ideas and values, and are gently encouraging to others to do the same. INFPs are creative and often artistic; they enjoy finding new outlets for self-expression.

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What does INFP stand for?

INFP is an acronym used to describe one of the sixteen personality types created by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. It stands for Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. INFP indicates a person who is energized by time alone (Introverted), who focuses on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), who makes decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling) and who prefers to be spontaneous and flexible rather than planned and organized (Perceiving). INFPs are sometimes referred to as Healer personalities due to their sympathetic idealism and gentle compassion for other people.

INFP Values and Motivations

INFPs value authenticity and want to be original and individual in what they do. They are often concerned with a search for meaning and truth within themselves. Following tradition holds little appeal for the INFP; they prefer to do their own exploration of values and ideas, and decide for themselves what seems right. INFPs are often offbeat and unconventional, but they feel no desire to conform. The INFP would rather be true to themselves than try to fit in with the crowd.

INFPs are accepting and nonjudgmental in their treatment of others, believing that each person must follow their own path. They are flexible and accommodating, and can often see many points of view. It is important to the INFP to support other people; however, the INFP may react strongly if they feel their own values are being violated. They especially hate being steamrolled by people who insist there is one right way to do things. INFPs want an open, supportive exchange of ideas.

How Others See the INFP

INFPs may initially seem cool, as they reserve their most authentic thoughts and feelings for people they know well. They are reflective and often spiritual, and often interested in having meaningful conversations about values, ethics, people, and personal growth. Typically curious and open-minded, the Healer continually seeks a deeper understanding of themselves and of the people around them. They are passionate about their ideals, but private as well; few people understand the depth of the INFP’s commitment to their beliefs.

INFPs are sensitive and empathetic, and engage themselves in a lifelong quest for meaning and authenticity. The mundane aspects of life are of less interest to this type, and they are more excited by interesting ideas than by practical facts. They typically accept others without question, and may take special interest in offbeat points of view or alternative lifestyles. They often have a special affection for the arts, especially the avant garde, as they love experiencing new concepts in self-expression.

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How rare is the INFP personality type?

INFP is the ninth most common type in the population. They make up:

  • 4% of the general population
  • 5% of women
  • 4% of men

Famous INFPs

Famous INFPs include Princess Diana, Audrey Hepburn, Fred Rogers, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Tori Amos, Morrissey, Chloe Sevigny, William Shakespeare, Bill Watterson, A.A. Milne, Helen Keller, Carl Rogers, and Isabel Briggs Myers (creator of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator).

INFP Quotes

"INFPs excel in fields that deal with possibilities for people."

- Isabel Briggs Myers, Gifts Differing

"Healers care deeply—passionately—about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace to the world and wholeness to themselves and their loved ones."

- David Keirsey, Please Understand Me II

"Clearly INFPs are best when whatever they're doing serves their personal values."

- Otto Kroeger, Type Talk at Work

Facts about INFPs

Interesting facts about the INFP:

  • On personality trait measures, score as Artistic, Reflective, Careless, Sensitive, Flexible, and Appreciative
  • Among least likely of all types to suffer heart disease
  • In men, among least likely to report chronic pain
  • Second highest of all types to report marital dissatisfaction
  • Among most likely to have suicidal thoughts in college
  • Tend to be more successful than the average in learning a foreign language
  • Among types most likely to be dissatisfied with their work
  • Personal values include Autonomy and Creativity
  • Overrepresented in occupations in counseling, writing, and the arts

Source: MBTI Manual

INFP Hobbies and Interests

Popular hobbies for INFPs include poetry, creative writing, music, photography, theater, and visual art.

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ShyBoy11 (not verified) says...

Hi again!

I've written a comment here three weeks ago but I feel very hopeless so I'm writing again hoping someone would understand me.

I don't know what to do with my life.

I feel everyone thinks I'm spoiled because I don't want to accept responsibility for my life. It's partly true. 

I'm just scared. Paralyzed by my fears. Blockages in my head created by myself. I've convinced myself I'm not good enough. Capable. Smart. 

My life has become a burden to me.

I have to decide whether I want to continue my college or not.

If I leave college, I could do only low paid jobs. It would destroy me completely. I would lose faith in myself totally.

I already feel like a failure.

I hate my character. I'm so sensitive. Emotional. I'm too soft for negativity and cruelty of this world. I can't handle it.

I hate my imagination. I live there instead of reality. It's my escape where I can be whoever I want to be. Artist. Performer. Musician. Actor. Activist. 

In real life, those scenarios are just parts of my imagination. Unable to become realistic.

I can't escape from auto-destructive behaviour. I'm drowning in my own negativity and passivity. 

I've started to go to psychologist but I'm not sure if he can help me. No one can help me but myself. The thing is, I don't know how to help myself. 

I hate myself. My looks. Character. Sexuality. Life. Everything connected with me.

I just want to disappear. Like I've never existed. That's all.

Thank you for listening my rant.

A. (not verified) says...

I think therapy helps in terms that it gives you tools to connect better with yourself and what you want. 
I'm 36 now and everything you 've said was how I felt too when I was younger. I even tried to get out of my body when I was a kid through my mind (spoiler - to no avail). 
It'll get better, believe me. The more life you live, the more you experience the more you understand who you are, the more direction your life will have and the better you'll find your purpose. And it's hard at times, soul-wrenchingly tearfully hard, but you'll get through it and you'll find it's so worth it.
And, I wish there were more people like you in this world, gentle and sensitive. Traits that are so so so important and undervalued! Please please please don't give up, there's so much more out there for you.
i don't know if it helps you, but I've noticed when I plan things (and do them) I feel much better with myself (and I HATE planning!), when I don't do it I feel like a slug. There are also good Meditation Videos on YouTube that I found quite helpful. I hope this is a bit helpful at least x

hello are you ok (not verified) says...

Hello, i know how you feel, and im so so sorry,  It can be really hard, and i feel like you as do i, like no one understands. I feel that you need to spend some time and look at what you want, what job, and who you would love to be. 

Sunrise (not verified) says...

Hi Shyboy,

I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. I'm 56 and share many of your struggles. If you haven't taken the test to see if you are a highly sensitive person - which is a genetic trait 15-20% of the population shares (including many INFPs) - I recommend it: If you are, it can help explain some of your natural (and very normal) personality traits. Also, the empath test can be insightful:

I'm finding it helpful to listen to podcasts from people who share my traits because it makes me realize I just haven't known many people like myself and that can be really isolating and demoralizing. I think it would help us to form more INFP communities- even online - so we can support each other in creating the world we imagine. I do think the world really needs us now. I strongly encourage you to finish college and study subjects that you're really drawn to. Trust your instincts.

INFPGirl (not verified) says...


A lot of what you said I relate to as well. I could always get away with being lazy when I was younger, but now that I'm older I've started to realize how irresponsible and unmotivated and lazy I am. I'm scared of what my future will look like if I don't change. I am currently majoring in Mechanical Engineering, but I am so close to failing out of college. I feel like I forced myself into this major and I thought I could handle it but I can't. I also dreamed of bein a musician, but that dream seems super unrealistic now and I could never make a living. Especially during this time, I feel so alone. I've never even had a boyfriend and I'm a junior in college, I'm starting to lose hope for my love life, my education, my career, and everything. Sorry for being so negative, but I think a lot of people are feeling the same way especially right now. I feel your pain, but please hold on and be strong you can do this, I believe in you!

Ravengardener (not verified) says...

hello there friend,

Firstly thanks for vanting ur feelings i hope it made u feel less stressful..

All of what u said i completely relate to i have been stuck in this same feeling for many months now..the feeling of hating urself more then ever .. all those negative thoughts just won't leave u alone ever ..i know its really tiring..but there is no way out of it ..if u keep thinking abut these things ..i have had those same thoughts for a very long time ..but i just thought to myself one day that no matter what...even if i Idk whats on top of the hill, im still gonna climb cuz atleast im going up..i am not hate worthy at all..see urself like u own the world and love urself first all starts with self love..see urself strong alone . And whatever path u choose ..there is no low or high here ..any thing u do as far as u love to do it and is passionate abut it gonna take u far in life ...but if want the best for urself and ur future then work hard for it .everything starts with hard work and self confidence. And stop asking for answers find then urself ..i hope this helped u somehow 

Just keep doing ur best at what u are doing ..i wish the best for u .

Take care:)

Lisa M Smith (not verified) says...

It took me many years and a whole lot of pain to realize it's so important to do some real soul searching. I needed to really think long and hard what I want in my life. And more importantly what I didn't want in my life. Then I needed to love myself and realize it's not selfish to put myself and my needs and wants first. I also realized I needed to have boundaries with all the people in my life. If you don't bring me joy and happiness and you are toxic to my life then it's ok to not have that person around. It doesn't mean they are bad but there aren't conducive for my personal growth. I made a choice to be happy. Happiness is choice. My life is far from perfect but I am happy I have a good life and the people in my life I love and they love me I never have to doubt there motives life is so much more peaceful now. Good luck remember you are worth it and you deserve to be happy  good luck 

Mimi (probablyINFP) (not verified) says...

I feel very similar. When life gets too hard the pull to just dissapear (into my thoughts and daydreams) from it all is getting too strong. Then, even the easiest tasks can feel uncomfortable, even emotional painful.

I find it hard to pick myself up and just work harder because my psyche doesn't function that way. It just tends to get exhausted and is too prone to addictions. It is hard to keep on going when your psyche aches.

Iamagirl (not verified) says...

I just read your comment and suddenly realized that i have tears in my eyes, because your situation is the same as mine i cant believe that someone is this much like me

I dont know what is going to happen about my university. I live in my dreams. i want to be famous cause i always feel that noone sees me. i feel im weak. im sensetive. i know im going to have health problems with my heart . I am suffering from erythrophobia and its killing me

I am 18 but i dont think im going to live as much as normal people

I wish I could go to a psychologist...

Forgive me if I had grammatical faults

Because im not advanced in the language English 

Jeneva (not verified) says...

I live with an INFP who has had a pretty rough past and deals with OCD & she has had to go to many councilors. Her life shows that it's possible to get past your past and other obstacles in the way. Life is not hopeless. Although it may seem that way some days or maybe even most days. One thing that helped my roommate & is still helping her was finding a job she enjoyed. We were just talking about it the other evening that she doesn't make much at her job, it's just enough to get by, but she's doing something that makes her happy & she wouldn't trade that for any high paying job. I know not everyone understands her, and I know I for sure don't always, but one thing I understand is her need to find something in life that makes her happy or that seems fulfilling to her personally. Even if it's maybe not what other people think she should do. 
I know for her, whenever she's struggling, it's always best to find someone to talk to about it. It helps keep you in the present & gives you a break from your own head. 
Feel free to send me a message if you ever want to!

Mj N (not verified) says...

Hey shy boy, 

You have to overcome your fears. Tell yourself that you are actually good at stuff. Stop putting yourself down. Once you come to peace with yourself everything will fall into place. I believe in you! I know you can do it. Fightinggg! 

20something living in Japan (not verified) says...

I feel the same pain for my whole life

I've just started my corporate job remotely and I feel negative and useless more than ever before although I understand how lucky I am to  be able to work from home

I just wanna say that you are not alone. Allow yourself to feel okay when you can't do things as you've imagined it to be. Try to go out and find a place where you can be yourself 

I know the slightest ray of sunshine saves INFPs and makes us feel alive and inspired!


Infp lady (not verified) says...

Shyboy- thanks for sharing your thoughts.  I'm a mom in my 40's and just learned that I'm an INFP.  I felt exactly as you did in my 20's.  Just know that it gets much better.  These are very difficult times.

I struggled with an identity and wanted to find the perfect job after college that incorporated art somehow.  I never found it.  Instead I worked in insurance.  If someone told this former fine arts major that they would be in insurance one day, I'd have been horrified.  But it wasn't bad.  In fact, I made some money and traveled the world.  It inspired me to paint on the side.  I was able to sell paintings as a hobby and live my dream. Painting sustains me when times get tough. 

 How is this relevant? Don't feel that you have to have all of the answers when you're young, nobody does.  So what if you don't find the perfect job.  Society puts too much pressure on young people.  As long as you pursue your hobbies and passions in some way, everything will fall into place.  
    Some more advice- try to get outside with nature, it's very healing.  It also helps to spend less time on devices, you'll start to notice your other interests.  Focus on putting one foot in front of the other each day to get things done (like college, you'll thank yourself one day) 

You are on this earth for a reason.  Pave your own path.  Don't change for others, you are unique and fine the way that you are.

SilverLining (not verified) says...

I can relate to living too much in my head. Like you, I'm feeling the effects from it - low confidence, judgement, feeling like the outside world is too overwhelming. I'm trying to find ways to act instead of thinking. Finding small things to do to get the ball rolling on the bigger things that seem too overwhelming.  Always thinking about how I feel about doing stuff is crippling me. For example, I want to walk more but I will talk myself out of doing it because I will imagine it will be too hot or too cold or too exhausting or that I simply don't want to see people. I focus on how I imagine it will feel and will decide not to do it. I've indulgedcmy feelings too much. So lately I have just been telling myself to start the action without thinking of the big picture and it's helping. I focus only on putting in my shoes and don't let myself think about any of the rest of it. I always end up going for a walk once my shoes are on. I focus on filling the sink with water, not about the drudgery of doing the dishes. It's actually working. I know it only would solve part of what you described but it is having a positive effect on me and I'm not feeling so stuck and frustrated. I'm using my tendency to overthink to come up with ways to trick myself into action. You're not alone or strange - there are lots of us that process things the same way and struggle. This little change is helping. 

Sarahmarie (not verified) says...

Did you ever stop to think it's the world we live in that is all wrong, and not you? Also, best advice I've ever been given: just because you think it doesn't mean it's true. It helps to know what IS true (God's Word) so when those thoughts come and go, that's ALL they do...come and go. Don't believe everything you think!!! Our culture doesn't place value on the right things, so it's pretty easy to feel worthless, even when you're just who you're supposed to be; you are golden! A child of God! And just as God planned for you to be. 

Imagirl (not verified) says...

I have been there, not with that much intensity. But i know how you feel. People constantly said to me "go to therapy". I hated it. I hated it every single time. Until i decided to go, I got medication and my life change. If you feel that the kind of therapy you are trying doesn't work, might not be the right one for you. I don't know much, but I have seen people doing cognitive therapy and that helped them so so much.

Obsessive negative thoughts drain all of you energy and self love, the perseption you have about yourself and everything about you. 

I know it's hard, but I believe in you. One day at the time, do baby steps. You can do it. It'll get better. 

You can do arts and another career at the same time, and it'll be ok. Don't waste opportunities that won't be back, finish collage. Studying even opens your thinking paths, it doesn't matter what it is you are learning. You have time, you can do collage and have more years to come to whatever you want to do. It might feel like a huge effort, but it will pay off. 

I know it's hard when you hate yourself, but the world needs what you've got. We are all gifted, and there's something you can give us. And there's so much good and beauty, you must know this if you are into arts. Even in sadness there are some bright beauty, even if not eveyone can't see it. Don't give up. Find whatever you love, even a little thing (I got a dog, also helps me a lot with responsability issues), there's always something that can keep you going and show you how much worth there is out there and inside of you.

You are enough and I love you.

Janita (not verified) says...



I can relate to this right now. It's like a mood of my own. 

One thing. Let hope carry you. Always. Until its time. 


Regard, Jansz 


Yamaguchi supremacy says...

Soy una adolescente INFP y realmente, agradezco mucho cada consejo que encontré aquí, me han ayudado mucho, y a la vez, creo que ustedes necesitan abrazo. Merecen tener una buena vida y salir adelante, ¡ánimo!

hiarese (not verified) says...

hey, i want you to know you're not alone in feeling this way. i came to this website to be able to understand myself more so that maybe it'd help me be able to find something in me (or i dunno) to help myself and find my purpose/just something really (tbh idek what im looking for). when i read your comment, i related so hard to all the things you listed. it was scary how you were able to put my exact thoughts into words since im unable to find the correct words to describe how i feel. yet everything you listed is everything i feel. it also came at the exact time where i was looking for something to relate to / make me understand myself (hence me visiting this website). i honestly do not know what to do with my life and i hate thinking about the future because of it. what do i even do? i tend to go through my life one day at a time, always seeking for instant gratification in my imagination (so that's why i read a lot of fiction/watch a lot of films since they make me happy and transport me to a world so wonderfully different from this one). this has made me ignore the responsibilities of "real" life: school, family, etc. scary part is i can't find it in me to care. it's like i just conjure the bare minimum effort just to get through my "real" life and get back to the solace of my room, where i can read a lot, get stuck in my imagination, and ignore my responsibilities.

another thing that's bothering me: school. im still in hs, and im currently just going through each day. i don't prepare for the future; tomorrow is another day, as long as i can finish today, that's all that matters. i have no idea what course i'm going to take (both with college and my life in general). i want to succeed. i want to find a good-paying job. i just don't know how. or even if i can. same as you, i've conditioned myself to think i'm not good at anything. i could try but there would always be someone better and i'd constantly doubt myself and whether i can do it as well as someone else could. i don't trust in myself or my capabilities and always tend to go for the easier route and something that's within my comfort zone rather than fail when i try new, daring things. 

"sensitive" "emotional"? that's me. i envy everyone else's tenaciousness and determination; i want to embody those traits too. when people work hard for something they want and never give up despite numerous challenges? i really want to be that kind of person. instead, i'm the type to cry and hate myself even more the minute a single challenge trips me up. i cry when i fail exams. and yet, i don't do anything to not fail. i cry when i get frustrated when i don't understand the topics given. but that's all i do. i cry and i hate myself. i don't try harder. i give up. i don't even know if i have it in me not to give up. i hate my character too; i just want to have a mindset where i can take challenges, work to overcome them, and not break down over it. 

"no one can help me but myself" i know that too. and yet, why do i not do anything to do so? why do i ignore my real life responsibilities, instead opting for instant gratification in the worlds that i can create in my mind through reading, watching, etc.? i want to help myself. but i know that i can't. i don't have it in me for that. 

so yes, i feel hopeless and currently have no idea what i'm supposed to do with my life. i don't have the character/personality/mindset of someone who succeeds and makes a good life for themselves. i have the character of a loser who everyone pities but ignores because helping such a person would be hopeless. i desperately want to bring myself up but as i have said, i don't know how to or if i even have it in me to try. 

anyways, i'm sorry this turned into a rant of my own. i just want to let you know that you're not alone and i'm here if you need anyone to talk to.


Missy (not verified) says...

Shyboy sound like you have a searching soul for truth...and nothing is that "one thing" you are searching for and it is making you feel terrible about your life and self.  I can tell you what will change your entire life forever...but you wont want to hear it.  The world is just going to get more difficult to navigate, and nothing is ever going to go back to the way it was.  It is probably going to be even more confusing.  The reality and security and stability we all want is only going to be able to be found in accepting that there actually is a God....who is 3 persons...Father, son(Jesus), and the Holy Spirit.  People have tried desperately to push away from this, but it doesnt make it less true.  Its all very have a God who loved you, created you, stuck you on earth for a short time so that you can either choose to love Him back freely...or not.  If you choose Jesus, repent , and start doing good and being good...when you die here on will truly end up living for all eternity with Him (them) .  For some reason people just hate that!  Anyway, Jesus is the one thing you have been missing...and didnt even know it.  Just talk to Him and its not hard.  In fact, its easy.  He already likes and loves you.  I hope you will so that you can get some hope and peace in your mind.

ShyBoy11 (not verified) says...

Hi, Missy.

Thank you for responding. I have to admit your answer has intrigued me. 

I was trying to connect with God few times in my life through praying but I couldn't. I can't feel connection with God. I feel like I'm pretending he exists but I can't convince myself in his existence actually.

Partly I think it's because of my sexuality. Religion isn't very supportive about homosexuality. I've convinced myself gay man can't be believer. 

Also, I can't separate God from Church as institution. I really don't like what Church does. 

I also think it would be easier for me if I have relationship with God but I've found some kind of comfort in other stuff like astrology.

Hope you'll understand.


mr. what zit tooya (not verified) says...

Hi Shyguy11,

First of all, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and I totally understand what you are feeling. 

I don't know how much of college you have left or anything but there is no shame in taking time off of school... I'm 21 and in college too, I took last semester off and it was the greatest decision of my life... Getting a long and healthy mind break but also knowing that you have something to look forward to next semester, a fresh start.  The break can be longer than a semester if you need it... College will always be there when or if you want to finish... and plus online classes are super awful and hard to focus on during this stupid pandemic.  And plus plus your mental health is the MOST important thing, much more important than a degree.  

Also journaling helps me get all of my endless feelings out on paper (or digitally lol its the 21st century)... And you don't have to keep the journals or docs you can delete them or rip them up or burn them if you are worried about someone reading them or something... I usually write whatever my mind is thinking at that moment, it doesnt have to be anything special, its just a place where you can just vent your thoughts and ideas and just vibe.  I keep all of mine and look back on them all the time because I can see myself grow and change on paper... Another thing to write is a list of little things that make you feel a little bit of happiness or joy or even just not as sad... things like driving around alone singing your favorite songs, or little things your friends or family members say or do that you love, or a movie that you love, your favorite dinner... stuff like that, even if they're cliché like my examples lol.

Anyways, please remember that you are SO young.  You do not have to have your whole life figured out yet.  Take your time!  Life feels so heavy and rushed all the time, especially at our age... its like "go to school for 12 years, graduate, and then go learn more" with no real break to find yourself.  I think we forget how young we are, that its okay to make mistakes, that everyone's "path" is different (as cliché as it sounds).  There is no rush !! You will figure it all out.  

Aurita Rey (not verified) says...

Hey! I totally get you, I´m just coming out of a very dark season. I felt very similar to you for the last 8 months and harder, the last 4 months (there is hope I promise). So I want to share with you what happened through this time, and how I'm getting out, hope it helps you in any way. So I'm 25 and through college I've had to drop school already two times for financial issues, every time, made me feel like I was failing in life, but through time I´ve come to learn that it actually was a huge blessing for growth and finding myself, what I love, and to develop a small business I own now. To this day, after 8 years I´m finally finishing this semester of college, it wasn't easy at times, but again, I think it taught me a lot to overcome new challenges.

On the other hand I have to tell you, I don´t know you, but I'm pretty sure you are great, there is so much potential and so much purpose in your life, so much light to share with the world. I know from experience, sometimes we feel like the worst people on earth, like we are super broken and different, and we wonder and punish ourselves on even feeling this way, but the truth is, we need to realize how great of a gift our life is to this world.

One of the things that helped me greatly was to talk to my mom about how I was feeling, it was hard for me because I hate to talk about this things but I realized I really was looping on a never ending darkness and really needed help so, in my case I told her how bad a daughter, a worker, a student I was feeling, like I wasn't fulfilling the standard,  and 1st she told me how all of that was a lie I was believing, telling me how she was watching the opposite, and also, she told me that I was just trying to reach an ideal of who I think I'm supposed to be but not really looked at all the beautiful things I actually am. That woke me up, and started making me find my way.

The other thing is I read a book "The four agreements' ' by Don Miguel Ruiz, I realized how I was damaging myself by how I talked to myself, every part I tried to make it my own and also made the commitment on the book to start changing my “agreements”.

Also let me share with you this Youtube channel: search for Ms Dory Linda, she is awesome, I found great help there.

I must tell you it's a process but I know you are very capable of going through it, overcoming it and reaching new levels of revelation for your life, every hard part of life brings growth, and I bet you´ll be able to live it and enjoy it.

Best wishes for you, and yeah! definitely, we are with you, you are not alone, we feel you.

(Also, it's not bad to feel as much as you do, it's your superpower, learn to use it)



Amepe (not verified) says...

Hey i completely understand how you feel. Ive tried to accomplish so much in my life and as of right now nothing to show for it. I suggest doing one thing a day that declutters your life. Like a walk or clean a dish or make something or write something use you daydreams as an outlet. And i would think staying in college would be the best bet even if your grades are lower than you would like you should definitely try to finish the semester you'll feel a sense of relief when the semester is over instead of feeling like a failure. Im struggling with everything i just suggested myself but if you fail one day just try again the next. 

Jimmy s (not verified) says...

Well from reading instead of hating love these things I've felt the same way and still do at times but I'm always reminded that bro someone else is way worse focus them not me ps learn to love the imagination write it down and put it into action it's working for me 


A Kitteh (not verified) says...

I went into college to study Mechanical Engineering before I was tested as an INFP (dreams of space travel). There were numerous times that I was so lonely and miserable that I wanted to quit and retreat to some dark cave in the woods. But part of disciplne is accepting the pain and difficulty for the vision of something better. Now I am employed in my field and I have a beautiful home and family. Ultimately, you must decide who you are, accept the challenges of that path, and remain committed. You should not expect to arrive at the destination of you life quickly; Leonardo Da Vinci was 39 when he got his first noteworthy project. You must decide who you are, claim ownership of that person, decide what path is best for that person's continued existence and growth, and buckle down and remain commited when it gets tough. Only you can do this, but if you do this, you will find your place in this world.

friendtohelp (not verified) says...

Hi Shyboy11

thanks for sharing. I get how hard it can be to have so many difficult and soul-sucking emotions/thoughts and it can be excruitingly difficult to share them with people. Just want to let you know, you're not alone. This world sucks and its so hard to grow up in it. the transition from teenager to adult is honestly the worst period for humans in my opinion (other than puberty- yuck). There is a lot of doubt and confusion and fear and anxieties. You're not alone in feeling and thinking these emotions and thoughts.

It so good to hear you're going to someone for help. I would recommend keep going. It might take a while to connect with the person or perhaps they just arent the right person to help you and you need to find someone else who can- someone who understands you more. this process can be tedious and hard but it is so worth it when you feel comfortable and safe enough with someone. I must say i disagree with your point that only you can save yourself. Us humans are pack mammals by nature. we need others, need a community. We cannot save ourselves entirely- no one can. We need help from people around us and it is completely okay to ask for help. It is natural!

As for hating yourself. I discovered this trick a little while ago and it has helped me a bit. Whenever i find myself spiralling into negativity and hateful thoughts about myself (looks, personality, character)- I focus on one aspect that I do actually like. I like my eyes. I like that my sensitivity makes me a better listener and empathiser with others, I like that my imagination means that I'm not limited to reality- some people can only be a teacher for example, whereas I can be a musician, an artist, a superhero, an explorer, an activist. Some people are only limited to one world- we can venture into a thousand. It expands our empathy, our imagination- makes us better people, better artists- its also fun, as long as we dont forget to stay connected to reality. 

As for what to do with your life, there is another trick i can offer. 1. work out what you actually want to do in life (dont limit it to a career option)- what do you think is your purpose as a person in this world. 2. can this purpose be linked to a skill set that you have- something you are good at and enjoy. 3. can you get paid for this. 4. does the world need it? will it help the world or not? We cant truly know what career we will enjoy or be satisfy with until we try it. And if you choose a career and hate it thats okay! You can choose another career. I actually think its good to have more than one career for your life. Imagine 40+ years in the same profession- boring. Its okay to make mistakes, its okay to change your mind- this is part of being human.

None of us can disappear from the world as if we have never existed. If we do leave, the people we leave behind break a little. You might not love yourself at the moment but many people do- even if they dont verbalise it or express it in a way you notice. I wish our world expressed our love and gratitude for each other more- perhaps then everyone would be able to see themselves how other people do and come to truly love themselves.

Lasts thoughts- theres a quote I remember; 'if you're going through hell- keep going'. Everything ends, even hopelessness and doubt. so keep going.

I hope that helps Shyboy11

Nothing Noblet (not verified) says...

Is nothing real?  Why do I believe these blacktors, -John

elliethefirst (not verified) says...

Fascinating. Well you're absolutely right on the lowest income front. I have always been the lowest paid wherever i've worked and now i'm the lowest paid senior even though i just got promoted. going to leave and yes looking into becoming self employed too. far too sensitive to be around office politics and being treated like dirt. Deserve far more. I work way better alone.

Best of luck to all of you INFPs. The world was not built for our type. My only hope is that there's another world that is after this one! Protect yourselves!x

T (not verified) says...

Yes! Also an INFP. The older I get the more I feel that I was never meant to be on here on earth - I'm always wanting to go back home to my own alien land wherever that may be. This place is strange and the people so awful and fickle and sad no one is real. 

justjen (not verified) says...

Hey Ellie,

I feel your pain. I have experienced the same. Lowest pay, and extremely sensitive for traditional office politics with their backstabbing and coniving ways. I am presently working on starting my own creative business. 

I would have to say I do enjoy working alone, but I do even better with people who are caring, creative, and determined to have a positive impact on the world and create a world that values us.

Mariam alsabahi (not verified) says...


Meowmi (not verified) says...

Hi, I'm 27 and a INFP. I am currently at a point in life trying to be happy.

I quit my job last month and I'm mentally struggling. Everyday is a struggle. Making myself eat even tho I have no appetite. I get hungry but just cant seem to enjoy food like I used to. I've lost a lot of weight. And I cant seem to get it back up.

I live with my family, one of them gets a little abusive when ever she drinks. But things have been getting better. As a result, I have to deal with my anxiety & depression (Self-diagnosed, because going to get professional help will ruin my chances for a job prospect) Working in a corporate company was traumatising to me, the office politics and drama was a doozy. I am glad that I quit. I used to come home from work crying daily.

I worry about many aspects of my life. Money being the main one. I started a small home baking business recently but things are a little slow. I worry about my family's future bc pretty soon I will have to be the sole provider. I think being self-employed was a good thing for me, at least I'm not crying daily. But starting a business on my own is like being on uncharted waters. Will I be able to provide? is a question that I cant seem to answer

And being an introvert with 3 extrovert best friends do make me feel a little odd. I am happy to see my friends getting out there and find love or just having fun. I realise that sleeping around (thats what they are doing) isn't really for me bc I want to find my person and that bond. I dont know if I will ever find that. Am I being too unrealistic? I enjoy being alone but a lot of the times, I wish I have someone to unwind the day with and all that. Is it weird to be holding out for that one person? And what are the chances of finding that person? 

I feel like I've made many bad life decisions and at the same time I am a little happy of where I am currently. 

But all my worries are always bugging me. Up to the point where I would feel depressed. I keep telling myself, one day at a time. 

I'm sorry if I'm speaking out of topic. But seeing everyone being supportive is making me brave enough to talk about this. I've talked to family members and friends about my worries but they dont seem to see why I'm depressed or feel that way that I feel. Hell, somedays I find myself in bed with tears rolling down my eyes with no particular reason. 


Andrea suissi (not verified) says...

Hi you. just wanted to say you aren't alone both with your worries and your life style.
I feel I never fit this world and I'm often blocked by worries and responsabilities

Jiji (not verified) says...

I completely feel you. You're going to survive though. Like I'm going to survive. But let's hope we do more than to survive. I'm also desperate to feel fulfilled as well as be able to provide but to find the fine line is so difficult for me who feels numb about all the jobs now. I wonder who actually enjoys their jobs. I wonfer if I will ever love mine.

Let's get through this, as we're not alone.

Rainbow Meg (not verified) says...

I'm an INFP with depression and anxiety as well. If you think that you are suffering from those two diseases you really should seek out professional help, especially if the people around you aren't able to give you the support that you need. I think it is really easy for us to neglect our own needs and forget that our mental health is the foundation that the rest of our life is built on. If we don't care for and nurture our mental health it is likely to cause problems in other areas of our lives. A lot of mental health professionals work very hard to make their services accessible to people even if they work during the day. If they can't accommodate your schedule they can probably recommend someone who can. I even have a friend who gets counseling sessions through a popular messaging app. But even if you could only do a few sessions, counseling could provide you with some very effective tools for dealing with the kinds of feelings and situations you described. 

Julia_bln (not verified) says...

I'm basically on the same page and I can truly feel everything you said. 

I think it's necessary for us to embrace being that way, embrace not being like our extroverted friends who are taking things easy and don't seem to worry nearly as much as we do. We do worry a lot, we're so much more sensitive and we feel pain simply more intensely. But we're also able to feel joy and happiness in a way that most people cannot even imagine.

Doesn't mean that I'm not struggling right now, but I know that better times will come, they always do. 

Adelaide (not verified) says...

I'm an INFP and I resonate with all of what you said. I also don't want to be pushy with religion/Jesus, but it does help me, so maybe it could help you as well, if you were open to it. The whole corporate job situation is where I am at the moment. It's miserable. Also it's miserable that I can't seem to make up my mind on what I would rather be doing. I say you have already cleared a massive hurdle, in that you have a direction you know you want to go in. 

I hope it all works out!

Valerie (not verified) says...

I second getting closer to Jesus. It truly saved me

Katelynn (not verified) says...

It's crazy but I am the exact same way I feel you 100%. Let me tell you one thing that has drastically changed my outlook on life and how I handle it, and it was coming back to Religion. I was never really raised strictly but, my mother was so when it came around to her kids we were not raised like her, which meant ultimately we were believing in God but not necessarily a Religion. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, self-confidence, and I never really knew why. I dabbled in tarot and all that mess and it left me being awakened to the world and its deceitfulness to keep us fat, dumb, blind, medicated, sad/depressed, angry/short-tempered..yet still hungry to find that last puzzle piece. We live in an illusion and in a daze and some people don't see what's being veiled over our eyes and Thank God I have woken up. By no means am I trying to force my Religion on you but it sincerely has changed me. Just recently Jesus saved me from an abusive relationship, I honestly was scared for my life by the end of it. Now that I have come back to Christ I have come to understand anything that is not serving you and making you unhappy is evil and cursing you to be sinful, there is only love in the Kingdom of Heaven. So when I realize I am getting depressed, short-tempered with those around me I rebuke that and say "That isn't me" I deserve to be loved and happy what am I sad/angry for ?" I've learned to forgive and forget, who cares about wrongdoings done over short periods of time, our soul is eternal but this human life is short. All I am saying is if you're anything like me... which I am guessing you are INFP, don't waste the 1 life we have here in sadness, stress, and other stuff other than love and happiness, trust the plan of God for everything in your life is pre-planned so let go of worries, doubts and think about Heaven, Jesus, and God for they are perfection, there is only love there, no stress or worries. Just hold on a little longer and if you're not Christian look into Jesus and how he has changed people, even bringing non-believers like a Satanic high priest back to him. For the end of times is coming he has been whispering it in my ear and I want all my brothers and sisters to meet him, to feel his unconditional love, and come back to our home in heaven. God Bless. 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."      John 3:16

Valerie (not verified) says...

I can second this. I struggled all my life with the same. it wasn't until I fully leaned into God and read his word, got to truly see who Jesus is, that my life completely changed for the better. I feel like I've gotten closer to being a mature INFP if not already. It really really helped. And I of course am the same, I would never force my beliefs on anyone. It just feels wrong to keep something to myself that's helped me tremendously. Hang in there INFPs!

Myyyyyyy (not verified) says...

I am also an INFP, 28 years, Living far away from my family for almost 5 years. (studying)

I knew I was always different but didn't know nothing about my personality type and why I am the way I am.

Through reading (which I enjoy) I found out about the different personality types and I made the test.

From that moment on I came to understand my self a little bit more and have compassion with myself. I was always so hard on myself,

changed study field so many times because I couldn't find my perfect 'fit'. I was not happy doing things that other people (family/friends) expect me to do but I just did it because what else Am I going to do with my life?

But I started to put myself first, to listen to my heart, to my desires and accept that I am here by myself and I am responsible for my life and choices and that no one can determine my future (career) for me.

I am now very interested in numerology after seeing double numbers for months everyday.

Maybe you can do some research about it and find your lifepath number, read about it maybe you can get more insights and ideas about what to do with your life.

just remember we are all indivuals here, you are not here to live the life your family or friends want you to live, you have a purpose and try to

find or understand what that is.

You got your own back, Listen to your heart, We all make mistakes and that's the beauty of life because that is how we grow as a person and try not to make the same 

mistakes again and again.

you are still young and you have a life fulllllllll with opportunities. Do not give up on your dreams.

This is a beautiful time to learn more about yourself, to put yourself first and do what makes you happy.

Try some yoga at home and start journaling before bed or first thing in the morning.

Books are your bestfriends!

I send you lots of peace and love.. Stay strong! YOU GOT THIS <3

Sara Mak (not verified) says...

Stay Brave! You will get through whatever this is. INFP's tend to overthink to the point that we can choke on our thoughts. Take a step back for your own sanity. Also, by some of what your saying, it sounds like you are really depressed. I'm not sure why getting help would hurt your career but it is extremely important that you don't let depression get out of hand before you get help—take medication if need be because you need to eat(take care of yourself!). As for your relationship concerns, it makes so much sense that you want the special someone. I did too. They will come if you are patient and observant. INFP's are very caring people and pick the wrong partners sometimes, so don't ignore red flags when dating. Lastly, be unapologetically yourself, no matter what. Not everyone will get you. I wish you the best of luck!

Fati Conteh (not verified) says...

Wow, this is extremely refreshing to read. I don't know why I started feeling down, but I get on YouTube, I get distracted, start googling stuff. Don't remember how I got to my personality type, but then googled how many people have it. Or rather don't...Got hooked and now I'm here 😧 I'm so glad I accidentally found this! Woww, I've never resonated with so much feedback. I literally just turned 28 2 months ago. Due to 'family' I had to give up my apartment so I'm home with said family and it's kind of a lot. I care so much that I don't want to. I know I only have it so much time to enjoy my life until everything falls on me. My advice to you would be to get the support outside of home. You don't have to disclose anything like that to an employer and there's no database they can check. Unless you're looking to get a security clearance, but without decluttering and healing your heart that could be a more scary battle than need be. I say go for it and invest in you! 
Sending love from MD 🌱 I'm working on a podcast to share our stories girl! Hang in there! You are definitely not alone!!! You just inspired me so more because you were so courageous to share. Thank you! 

vanessa (not verified) says...

I completely understand. I've lost so much weight this year, on top of gut issues also dealing with some depression. I think we can be excruciatingly hard on ourselves and ruminate on all the negative in our life, especially when so much is happening all at once! Have you tried looking into a therapist to help you cope better with what's causing the depression? Mindfullness is also useful as others have mentioned. A huge keyword I keep hearing is PATIENCE. Our lives may be more unconventional and we may not be where we've pictured ourselves to be but try remembering just how far you've come. Quitting your job takes a lot of courage and is a step towards your true life passion. Don't let yourself ruminate on all the negative (oh I know how easy that can be).  Also don't beat yourself up on not finding a partner, its tough out there even for extroverts right now. Let this time be one of self-exploration in order to discover what it is you truly desire in life, what type of life is worth living for you. 

Jacob Roundy (not verified) says...

Hi, Meowmi, I am also an INFP and I can totally relate to your feelings of trying to find someone you can really relate to and share your feelings with and I don't think you should give up. You will be able to find someone who will love you just as much as you love them if you keep trying and moving forward. Don't sleep around like your friends are doing, that's not what true love is. True love is an emotional connection so strong that you want the other person to have more happiness than you. Feel free to email me at and I'd be happy to listen to more of your feelings, and maybe we can just have a vent sesh together 😂

Hope you have a great day!


Ziggie (not verified) says...

Put ur faith in God........ 

Valerie (not verified) says...

Yesss it's the only thing that's truly helped me

Ralph Cham (not verified) says...

And that's my WhatsApp number +96176803526 i can relate with what you're saying in some way

Ralph Cham (not verified) says...

And that's my WhatsApp number +96176803526 i can relate with what you're saying in some way

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