INFP
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INFP Strengths

Idealism. INFPs care deeply for others and believe it is their duty to make a positive impact on the lives of other people in any way they can. Because of this unbreakable commitment, INFPs are capable of great self-sacrifice, and they won’t compromise their ethical standards for personal benefit. INFPs are firm believers in the unlimited potential of human beings to achieve remarkable things, and they can always be counted on to provide encouragement or material support to those who are attempting to expand their horizons.

Integrity. Integrity means everything to INFPs, and that includes intellectual as well as moral integrity. Some people might accuse INFPs of being overly imaginative or of being willing to stretch logic to the breaking point in order to find the deeper meaning they insist must exist, but there is no denying that the deeply reflective nature of INFPs allows them to transcend the boundaries of imagination that so often prevent us from discovering new solutions to old problems.

Compromise. As empathic idealists, harmonious relations are like a balm to the soul for INFPs. In family settings or when working in groups, INFPs are highly effective as mediators because they are legitimately interested in the viewpoints of all and will go out of their way to make sure that everyone is given a fair hearing. They are enthusiastic advocates of cooperation and believe that no difficulty is insurmountable when people work together for a common cause. 

Dedication. It is easy to pay lip service to virtues like compassion, creativity, originality and open- mindedness, but these ideas don’t mean much unless they can be translated into real-world applications. Fortunately, INFPs are masters at doing just that. Passionate and committed to the cause, these personalities have a unique ability to mold and shape their surrounding environment in ways that promote self- improvement and transcendent achievement for all. 

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INFP Weaknesses

Sensitivity. Their deep compassion, sensitivity and commitment to originality allows INFPs to interface with their interpersonal landscapes in a constructive manner, but these feelings also leave them vulnerable to disillusionment and powerful existential angst. INFPs who venture enthusiastically out into the world can end up retreating into lethargy and depression when they discover their idealism isn’t always shared or respected by others, and their incredible talents can go completely to waste when they become too discouraged to continue.

Impracticality. While their insistence on standing up for justice and decency is admirable, the intensity of their feelings can occasionally leave INFPs unwilling to make compromises even when doing so might be necessary to get something accomplished. Sticking to your morals is admirable, but in the real world it may be impossible to accomplish anything unless the INFP can find a way to give and take a little and find practical, if imperfect, solutions to problems. 

Selflessness. INFPs have a tendency to neglect or suppress their own needs if they believe it is necessary to keep the peace or make others happy. When a person holds his or her insecurities inside for too long, it can eventually cause a blow-up or an emotional breakdown. Sensitive INFPs often suffer in silence, and this is a pity because INFPs and their fellow travelers usually have people in their lives who care about them a lot and would be more than happy to help them deal with their heartaches and disappointments. 

Vulnerability. Compassionate to the core, INFPs lead with their hearts rather than their heads and this can sometimes set them up for trouble. Unfortunately there are users and manipulators out there who are always on the lookout for easy targets, and from the standpoint of these individuals INFPS might as well have flashing neon signs attached to their foreheads that say “exploit me, exploit me!” Trust is a wonderful thing, but not when it makes you gullible. 

INFP Growth and Development

In order to reach their full potential, INFPs should:

Learn to recognize the difference between compromise and concession. People who disagree with INFPs are simply seeing things from a different point of view, but to an INFP, it can feel like they are being backed into a corner. Instead of digging in their heels, INFPs must find a way to detach from the situation so they can comprehend the motivations of their opposition more clearly. If it is only a difference in values and not a lack of them that is responsible for divergent opinions, then INFPs should not expect others to give in to stubbornness any more than they would if the shoe were on the other foot.

Make sure dreams and fantasies are used to enhance reality rather than replace it. INFPs who look out at the world with idealistic eyes often see grand vistas of beauty and limitless possibility that others are not capable of perceiving. But INFPs sometimes choose to retreat into these fantasies instead of using them to solve real-world problems. Imagination can open the door to better possibilities, and INFPs should never lose sight of its transformative potential. 

Learn to respect the details. No matter how wonderfully inventive a new idea might be, it won’t get anywhere if the logistical details required to put it into practice are ignored or neglected. INFPs may find this aspect of the creative processes a bit boring, but they should challenge themselves to overcome their disinterest and pay attention to all those annoying details anyway. 

Seek out leadership positions. INFPs have strong egalitarian instincts, are natural conciliators, passionately believe in the utility of cooperation, are excellent listeners, and never fail to pay attention when someone has a new idea to share. These admirable qualities double as superb leadership skills, and no one who possesses them should avoid leadership positions simply because they aren’t extraverts. Above all else, leaders must have the respect of those they presume to lead, and INFPs are just as capable of gaining that respect as any other personality type. 

Accept themselves as they are without apology. Because their standards are so high, INFPs have a hard time forgiving themselves when they fail to meet their own expectations. They may also become indecisive and fall into a perfectionism so extreme that it cuts off their flow of creativity and makes it impossible for them to excel and achieve. This dynamic is unfortunate, especially as INFPs would never think of holding others to such impossible standards. For the sake of their mental health and happiness, INFPs must learn to stop comparing themselves to others and recognize that they should prioritize their own happiness.

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Comments

bella (not verified) says...

Sunnya,
I am also an INFP-T and I resonate with your struggles. I would reccomend talking to a psychiatrist or other mental health professional. A lot of the struggles you describe sound like symptoms of ADHD in adult women. I am 20 and I was only diagnosed a few months ago but it's really opened my eyes and getting help has changed my life and put me on the right path. I struggled in school for years because I would procrastinate like crazy and end up having tons of missing assignments but would get As on tests. My interests change like crazy and I always get strong urges to start a project but 90% of them never get finished.

 

Not many people know what real ADHD is and they think it's just hyper little boys in school, but it can affect anyone and a lot of the symptoms are what I described like procrastination, not being able to finish things, interests constantly shifting, etc. I may be wrong as I am not a professional and can only speak from experience, but when I learned what it's really like and got diagnosed I felt better about a lot of mistakes I've made in my life knowing it wasnt fully in my control. But be careful because ADHD severley under-diagnosed in adults, and especially in women. Go to a mental health professional(therapist or psychiatrist) and not a regular doctor as I was taken in to get examined for ADHD at 3 years old and the doctor refused to even test me just because I was a girl. Regardless of what's causing your struggles I wish you the best in figuring things out and I hope you only see success in your future.

Emilyee (not verified) says...

Hi. I'm an INFP-t as well. I'm 20, and 100% resonate and agree with you! I was diagnosed when I was in 4th grade, and even with medication, I continue to struggle in school and basic adulting. I felt I had to respond because we all have these similarities. My major is psychology and how you wrapped up your last sentence sounds like how I talk to people, especially if I'm commenting on strangers on the internet. I'm like all sweet and then say either way or whatever, I wish you a fulfilling life something like that. Which isn't something at least for me, that I often see. Maybe that was just coincidenctle and not a INFP-t thing. Aha. Anyway, I hope you both have a better experience with figure things out than I have. Take care

Anita_Belinski says...

Sunnya you are so young! It is happiness to be young and healthy. You can try positive psychology and positive affirmations. It will help you to find your way, I am sure.

Ninja (not verified) says...

Hi Anita, I only can tell my story, but might help. Over 40, changed jobs many times, worked on totally different fields, have bunch of certificates, and now have an easy job what includes a lot of freedom, and walking. I sat down at one point of my life and started to think how I like to live, what things I enjoy do the most, what things are important to me, and what job can serve that, what would fit into my lifestyle. As an introvert I prefer not to sit in an office and being surrounded by people. I like to make my own schedule, flexible working hours, and really need to execise not only for my physical but mental health also. So now I walk around the city and take pictures of electricity meters and in electrician training. Finally I realized I prefer physical work and then use my brain in my free time.

Alexi (not verified) says...

Hey :) perhaps look up Jordan Peterson's "future authoring program". What it is, is putting into words (which is the code we operate on) what we really want to do. Not the pursuit of happiness, but rather the pursuit of MEANING. No problem is too big. For example, I would like to provide a space of infinite creation and realization of ideas FAST. Just like how we can already visualize things in this reality and manifest them with proper work, drive, direction and effort. But I want to provide it instantly. So I'm working on creating "full dive" virtual reality in combination with the brain data we are receiving from companies like Neurolink (Elon Musk). My point is, as an INFP, this vision satisfies my preferred future AND it's far fetched, so it's keeping me occupied for years, and many more years to come. It's meaningful enough to motivate me to learn code for example, which is a time consuming process not likely for my personality type by itself. I guess my point is, DREAM BIG, and then trace that dream backwards all the way back to the present moment an what you'll need to do today. And enjoy the journey :)

Lucy 172627 (not verified) says...

Idk maybe we can give each others insta. Know what ur going through. It gets better! 

Lucy 172627 (not verified) says...

Hii! We can be friends if you want would be a pleasure, on Reddit there are info groups

Lucy 172627 (not verified) says...

Hey, anyone wanting to make friends can talk to me!  

tahasif (not verified) says...

yeah sure my ig is @headpats4u

Aman patidar (not verified) says...

Well, Sunnya dont worry about choosing a career just go back in time when you were younger, think about yourself, what were your reveries of that time, think about your first or most loved/thought ambition just pay attention to yourself. You are a beautiful creation of god, so dont ruin your time in obssession or negetive thinking well even I am prepaaring for MBBS and ya I myself is an INFP person. Just dont worry belive in god he will take best out of you......

Siraj (not verified) says...

Hi Sunnya, I am an INFP. Let's connect.

Erskien Lenier (not verified) says...

I'm 63, married and had many different jobs and even means of self employment over my lifetime. 
I've come to realize that I never really liked and even despised any of those choices purely because I told myself there was no way to monetize what I really wanted to get paid to do that I've always had a bucket list deep and wide dream to do.

Its taken me this many years to gain the courage, conviction and vision to laser focus in on how to make that dream my lifestyle - and get paid for it.

I've had a dream since early childhood to build a 3 wheeled cargo stroller, load it with all the essentials needed to adventure travel on foot (running) and to travel wherever I felt inspired to go and to meet up with strangers, distant family members, and in this day and age, online contacts I've become connected to for both social and to teach and support many of them in their desires to become sustainably self employed and possibly adventure travelers.

I've finally found an organic produce company that offers self employment as an independent distributor that endorses location independence who wants me to help them develop their nationwide and international consumer and distribution networks. 
Since I've lived as a Plant Powered Athlete most of my life this is a perfect fit for my values. 
As of today, I've begun ramping up my fitness building and running mileage and time duration, along with using my shadow aspects of being an INFP to map out every detail of the logistics I need to be aware of and equipment I need to make or acquire to live and travel pretty much autonomously (with my wife and others scattered around the US and eventually other countries as resupply shipping nodes of essentials I can't find along the way and for seasonal and longitudinal and altitudinal changes in climate as I thread my way all over the USA.

So the gist of my story is this: Decide you were born to live out what your deepest passion is and probably always has been. Decide the universe will move Heaven and Earth to align you with the right connections, insights, people, places, resources that will make your will a reality over time. Even put a time line on it and focus deeply and sincerely on the fact that this life's length is unknown. That it is urgent that this reality take shape and provide you with everything and everyone you need to live out your truest purpose. Then begin to research the elements that come to kind and make notes. Within your phone, laptop, tablet, desktop, paper notebook. 
Writing details, insights, links, contacts down has a way of adding momentum or a quickening to the process. 
 

I hope this helps you and any others that need a bit of guidance in living your or their Best Lives!

Feel free to connect with me. I'd love hearing from other INFP's who are pushing for their own "Sacred Ground"

I can be found by Google searching: LandSurfingPro 👣🏃🏾☀️🍌

Lloyd749 (not verified) says...

Hey, well I know you are distressed, butI smiled at your post.. not because I'm laughing at you, but its funny how similar you are to me, and you're not alone in the world. I'm 35 and just started a degree in psychology this month! With an idea to progress into clinical psychology... I've quit university so many times.... and feel I achieved nothing... but you know what,you can only start where you are now. I can either bow out the candles when I'm 45 as a delivery driver (current job) or blow them out as a clinical psychologist..

You get to pick who you want to be, and NO ONE can pick that for you. I'm 35 now and time will not wait for you, so you pick something you feel like you are interested in and you can progress in... at least that makes you SOMETHING rather than NOTHING which is where I am now, spent last 17 years thinking about "what career I want"...

For many years I was hung up on being a doctor, I am still interested in the human body but I knew deep in my soul I didnt want to work 60 hours a week and do night shifts.. 

Be honest with yourself, what would you like to do, and go for it. Be something rather than nothing, and its fine where you are, just live, just be

eijiii (not verified) says...

GUYS SAME

raginald (not verified) says...

as a German Biologist Ph D - this is the way to Slavery and be abused. Any Predator senses such an attitude to be a possible Slave. With Inner Strength training you evolve to a responsible person able to make responsible decisions and action. As long as you ask for help you remain in a helpless, infantile state. You set yourself up for misery...

Cathylv (not verified) says...

What does this even mean? Lol

Anita_Belinski says...

It is a pity, once more German people demonstrate a complete lack of compassion, lack of empathy. Excuse me, if I´m too honest, but I am really worried, someone should tell German people the truth about their contemporary image.

james says...

I'm in engineering program manger forced to be organzied and structural. Do I like it... no, am i glad that it ended up this way... maybe. I"ve learned alot about my self over the years and the reality of it i tend to have a "lack of persistance". being a program manager forced a template that i can use to plan out the big plan. I"ve always had big dreams but each one goes away after a few months for a better big dream. I went through 2 careers now in a differerent field but its all the same. at the end of the day being a cog in a bigger wheel will never bring job satitifaction but this idea of job satisfaction is just an ideal ingrained in socity. My dream is to just have a large piece of land live in a tiny house somewhere in nature. Then i can apply my program managment skills to ask all the questions to get there. and if the plan is planned well enough, then I may actually get there. My biggest learning is that changing ideas and plans takes resouces and i end up spending too much resoruces changing plans. Its going to be a tough road and at some point i needed to stick to one.   

Aoife (not verified) says...

I'm reading this as a first year engineering student.. I'm genuinely the same, I make big plans and then change them. I'm just interested in too many professions and hobbies. And i'm the same in that I just want a job I'll be satisfied with that allows me to be financially stable so that i can have a big garden, small house and have a good balance of work hours. Going after a dream job of being an architect/artist just isnt realistic, and honestly i feel like i'll be a decent engineer with my maths and critical thinking skills. Idk haha lets hope it all works out!

Cinnabunny (not verified) says...

It seems like all these careers require a degree T_T

Woolygan (not verified) says...

Hmm, I've always tested INFP but I'm a Chemical Engineer... The exception I suppose... 

Mehrnaz (not verified) says...

Mee too, i wondered if i had chosen this field by mistake :((

momo (not verified) says...

I just took this quiz after reading about MBTI in my psych textbook. Though it seems I'm a textbook INFP, don't take it to heart lol. Psychologists often criticize the test's contributions to psychology because it completely dismisses individual abilities and even suggests you lack specific qualities. For example, being an introvert doesn't mean you totally lack extrovert qualities. :) 

Bean S. (not verified) says...

I am an INFP-T and I am sure I suffer from BPD, for some reason I keep getting INFP, but my mental struggles causes me to overshare to others, and idealize too much, and also have intense mood swings that I become cruel and judging and say things out of an outburst of emotions idk if I am truly INFP but I could be, but maybe I'm just too unhealthy (if I clicked reply by accident to someone I'm sorry)

Jay_lo (not verified) says...

As a fellow INFP that identifies with all those points and needed a little pick me up... I found it here: 

https://introvertdear.com/news/10-type-secrets-of-the-infp/ 

Forever searching for that silver lining 

J

Lilith (not verified) says...

Hello! I recently tested as an INFP after a long time of not knowing which type I really was. I used to test as either an ESTJ, INFP or INFJ. But I could never decide. I think that my upbringing might have obscured who I really am. I cried so hard in the shower when I realized how much of myself I'd been suppressing for years, trying to fit in. It was like my soul had reconnected to my body. It's also fascinating learning about how I mirror rather than absorb emotions! I heard somewhere that INFPs are naturally good actors and I almost thought maybe I should have been typed as an INFJ instead. But maybe I should give acting a shot.

I am an INFP who is incredibly uncertain of what to do with her life. I've been consulting pages like this for years trying to understand myself and what I should do. And honestly, after reading that INFPs are the second-lowest earners out of all the types and I might be an INFJ which are the ultimate lowest earners, it honestly gave me a sense of relief because I don't have to fight for a high-earning, high-stress job anymore. I can just be myself and do good for the world like I was meant to. :') Whatever that ends up being (which probably won't be paying much but knowing that my worries and stress over how much money I end up making is pointless soothes me.)

David Martey Mensah (not verified) says...

Oh really sorry for you. You should consider asking our maker what he really created us for. From all the places around the world, why were you born in your Country? there is a reason for your being. So the best way will be kneeling down on your knees and praying to God in request and Thanks giving. Get a mentor also in your field of studies.

Elley (not verified) says...

I'm INFP and doubted myself for being one. I took a retest weeks ago and was scared that I might get a different result which will definitely leave me forever confused, but I still got INFP with heightened results.

u might be INFJ based on your given results, two I's, two J's, two NF's. 

G (not verified) says...

Lilith. You're not alone. I'm in the same place too. I'm glad you're finding your way back to yourself and you feel how truly incredible and unique you are. I wish you patience and magic. Be well and remember that the greatest blessing you can bestow anyone is your authentic self. No less. No more. That is everything. Bendiciones and blessed be 

michellina (not verified) says...

i also came out as infp/infj. i could never seem to choose a career. i felt pulled in two directions: my own convictions and to please my family. i am finally slowly growing a backbone though. you are so right. it is relieving to know that there isn't necessarily anything wrong. we aren't all made to be the same and that's beautiful. i kept trying to "learn to code" or become a stem person...but it is so competative nowadays. 

Eve (not verified) says...

hello! Sounds like you were feeling low, it might happends some days, sometimes, to all of us. Just a little time ago i learned that i'm a INPF, and i guess it makes sense, i've always feel drown in my feelings, it's a bummer sometimes but also i learned that it makes us ¿"better"? than the others, better it's not the word, but what i want to mean it's that nobody lives the happy times as we do, only because we know what the low points mean. I been also lying about me around others, pretendig to be someting that i'm not so they can have a defined and clear concept about me that goes on with their narrative, but i was lucky to understand my own fragility since a young age, and yes, i know, the feeling of self-discovering can beoverwhelming, but, indeed, necesary. 

The only light i can give you it's tell you that you don't need the same things that everybody need, ypur approach isn't in a big luxurious house, or on the hope od be the best bussines man/woman, and it's okay, as a matter of fact, i think that it's beautiful. The world has turn in such a cold place and it need people like you or me, Those who still beliving in the beauty of the simple things and make a life from helping others. I think you're a beautiful human being and i hope your probles go soon. -i sorry if i write this wrong, i don't speak english. Luckk!

 

Anna Maria (not verified) says...

Hey! im a fellow INFP and im constantly questioning my if it's accurate for me, but I think a lot of what I used to think was my personality was simply shaped by my strong-willed parents. 

I totally relate to not being able to understand what to do in life (I have to apply to universities and it's very stressful choosing a career path)

Thankfully I have Jesus to guide me and correct me when my mind is clouded / I'm overthinking :) Really helps being able to be lead and rely on a loving and powerful God

 

anyway, just wanted to reply and connect with you

you're not alone in your uncertainty and confusion

Eva (not verified) says...

Thats honestly how i feel. But thankfully we have a powerful God who made us in His image, that means he will also provide for us in everything we need. And guide us every step we need to take

William Fong (not verified) says...

I am ENFP and I really love the way you wrote this. My mother is an Infp but for many years she thought she wasn't. Initally, she tested and got isfj twice but somehow the results were never accurate to her. It was when I began noticing her passion for poetry and writing did I began to suspect she was Infp (because i read somewhere that Infps love literature). So, i asked her to read about about the Infp profile in the 16 personalities site and she was mindblowned. This was who she was. All her life she was conditoned by her parents and her peers to act another. Before she got married, accounting was the only job she could pursue because it was only career that her parents (my grandparents) would approve. Needless to say, she did not enjoy the job. Her true passion was books and poetry and although she left the job after she got married, she had little time to pursue writing as she had me and my sister to raise. But now, since I am adult and my sister is independent enough, she now has the free time to write more and find her true writing voice. After 50 years did she finally know her true self. Fifty years in a shell. Just want to let you know it is never too late to discover your inner self.

Teresa Marie (not verified) says...

Hi Lilith,

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story! And applause to you for learning about what has been obscured and suppressed for years. It takes a lot of courage I think to examine and appreciate our true identities.

For years I continued to get INFJ each time I took the Myers-Briggs personality test. Today however for the first time I was surprised to get the INFP, which I feel like I most resonate with, especially with wanting to be of service to others in a career that is more meaningful to me. When you mentioned acting, it's funny because after reading through the INFP description, I have recently considered acting and am inspired to take a class for fun in the future.

Kudos to your journey of discovery, keep on keeping on!

Monalisa (not verified) says...

Hi fellow INFPs,

I have a dilemma, i feel like my personality type is getting in the way of my relationship. I've been in a relationship for 4 years now and in that time I've been having doubts about whether my partner is the one. I always imagine that the person who is the one would be someone with similar interests to mine. My partner and i dont share similar interests. I've been going over whether we are compatible and came up with the conclusion that we are not but after taking the test and finding out that tone of the traits of an INFP is dreaming of the perfect relationship and that there is a person out there who is their soul mate, I'm rethinking things and now im confused as to whether its just my personality getting in the way or whether my partner and i truly belong together. What if i end things and turns out i was wrong?! I feel that having this personality when it comes to relationship is stressful.

Ninith (not verified) says...

Monalisa, my ex was someone I had little in common with, and I tried for a long time to make things work, against my better judgement. Sometimes regardless of how hard you try, the person you're with simply does not meet your needs. Remember, your needs are important. Your desires are important. Your interests are important. And if you can barely find things in common, it can be a sign you're not somewhere that fits you personally well. I've since found someone much more attuned to my own interests and needs, and find life far more satisfying and a lot less stressful. Time spent in a relationship does not equate to the value that relationship brings you. Do they fulfill you? Do they bring your life joy? Do they make your accomplishments feel worthwhile? Do they give you emotional stability? Do they feel like "home" when you're around them? Do you enjoy being around them? Do they add meaning to your life? As with a job that's a wrong fit, being with the wrong person has many warning signs. If you feel like the answer to most of those questions were "no", staying with them could simply be wasting your efforts and time on the wrong person, when someone you can say "yes" to those questions about, would be more suitable to bring you happiness in the long run. You're important, so never let a relationship make you feel like you must constantly sacrifice your own wellbeing and happiness in order to please them and keep them.

- a fellow INFP

Sage Roku (not verified) says...

As I was reading on another site. It said that you can end up falling in love with someone you don't share similar interests with but deep inside your values are the same and that is most likely what attracted them to you.

Sammy (not verified) says...

It seems you don't have problem in the relationship but you thought you'd end up with someone different. You overthinking and being idealistic. Just stay in the relationship unless you are unhappy then communicate with your partner or leave. But from what you're said their doesn't seem to be a problem. 
 

Raquel (not verified) says...

hi, i am an INFP-T as well. i just want you to not make a rash decision about a relationship if it’s perfectly healthy already. if you truly feel the need to break off and do your own thing and find someone that you think is your soul mate, then do it. But if you love the person you are with now and feel it is unstable to just try and find your soulmate, i wouldnt. if what you have now is something beautiful i would cherish it. if im being honest i think ive found my soulmate already. we’ve been dating for 2 years, known eachother for 6 years all together now. he is literally nothing like an INFP at all. and i celebrate those difference. i think it’s perfectly healthy to have a relationship with someone that has a completely different personality than your own. you can gain life lessons from them, different perspectives from them, grow as a person with them, and everything of that matter. i mean they say opposites attract. i think its just way more fun to be with someone that definitely doesn’t have the same personality as you because you will experience things with them you wouldve never done by yourself or with someone just like you.

Gin Mullins (not verified) says...

there's a lot of information not present here. Im not going to prod you for it, if you felt its best not to share then thats completely ok. I will say whatever is causing doubts in you, you should probably trust your intuition on this, your gut feeling. You've been with them 4 years, im sure you've gathered enough to know yourself so trust yourself and don't allow someone to make you feel like that's all in your head. Ive been through a rough relationship and the longer I thought that way and gave chance after chance the worst he became. Very abusive one, emotionally and began hurting others i care for. Id hate to tell you to just up and close the door on him, but trust yourself. You know when something is not right and I can tell you it probably won't become better unless he is willing to put in effort. If youre not seeing the effort, jot even an ounce of attempt, then understand this. Hurt people hurt people. That needs to be healed over on their own, yes, if you can be in a friend dynamic with them and help them incredible, unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. By no means continue to hold if you feel like you're being abused or taken advantage of. You can always slowly emotionally detach now and give it more time so you'll be prepared in the event that he does not make the improvements you deserve to see and experience 

Rathul (not verified) says...

The one you talk about doesn't need to have the same interests as you. You're a partner is a whole different person and of course his individuality and personality will be different. But that's what makes relationships so good you can share each others views and approaches to things and life. Also there is no thing as belonging together or destiny if you love the person put in the work, appreciate the person for what they are and just work out the kinks. 

IN-er (not verified) says...

Honor yourself first.

You are the only person who will ever be with you for the rest of your life.

 

You already know the answer and what must be done. Move with intention.

 

Ask yourself, what advice would I give to myself if I were a friend.

Susan Epstein (not verified) says...

Am am also an INFP and I can't tell you how important it is to find your soulmate- it is difficult but not impossible! I am married to an INXP for 41 years. My husband is my best friend and soulmate. I believe when there is too much compromise in a relationship, it can cause undue stress. What are your partner's letters? This will give you deeper insight into the joys and the challenges of your relationship. You are correct to question your personal decisions and must analyze more deeply before making a lifelong commitment.

Shivvv (not verified) says...

I would say that most importantly relationships take work. No partner is going to be a perfect fit and you'll both make compromises for each other along the way. I have been having my own doubts with my partner, but realised it was the bedroom department I felt was most lacking, so have been playing lots of games and putting the work in to make it better. I have been very proactive and having more open communication which has helped immensely, which has in turn reflected on our relationship positively. 

Perhaps talking to your partner about how you're feeling and coming to some conclusions of a few activities you could try together, to form common interests going forward, would be a good idea. 

 

If you put the work in and still feel the same, then perhaps take these thoughts more seriously! 

SchoonerScotty (not verified) says...

Hi Monalisa,

Get the books, "Type Talk," by Otto Kroeger," "Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type," by Isabel Briggs Myers.  these should help you.  I had a friend who was an INFP, and she married a ISTJ against some misgivings, and I wonder if they are still together today.  People with an intuitive preference have a focus on the future and use mataphors, look for connections between often disparate items, finding a pattern or a whole, enjoy fiction literature, including fantasy and science fiction, think often about "what if..." situations, while their opposites, people with a sensiing preference tend to be concrete thinkers, prefer linear thinking, step 1 to step 2, to step 3, etc. prefer parts to the whole, and rather than consider something could be improved if we only had XyZ, they think in terms of, what they have, and make do with their resources.  They enjoy computer manuals, action adventure books, or movies, and realistic biographies about people, etc.

Introverts live in their own rich, inner world, where they often retreat to reflect on things, and look for inspiration.

Extroverts look outside of themselves for inspiration and energy.

Thinkers tend to make decisions using logic, and take a "firm but fair," approach to making decisions while their opposites, feelers, use their deeply held personal values when making decisions.

People who prefer Judging in their orientation to life prefer a scheduled, organized, and planned approach to life.  They may often buy time share condos, or have summer house in a special location where they go year after year.  They tend to stay in the same career.

People who prefer a Perceiving approach to life, enjoy a life open to change, get energized by last minute rushes, and may take off with friends on a special adventure when the spirit moves them.  They may vacation in Quebec, Canada, one year, Istanbul, Turkey the next year, and Sao Paulo, Brazil the following year!

Susan Epstein (not verified) says...

Type Talk is where it all began for me!

Susan

glooms (not verified) says...

Monalisa,

4 years feels like the 'make it or break it' marker for a lot of relationships. To me, it sounds like there is a part of you that isn't happy with the relationship and wondering if they are "the one" is your way of allowing yourself to feel those doubts and questions that maybe you feel guilty about or are scared to feel. First of all, honor those feelings, it's okay to be in that space. Whether someone is "the one" or not is always, always your choice to make, and if there are needs/desires that you have for a partnership that cannot be met by this person, then I don't think that longing will go away. With that said, a partnership- one person, isn't meant to fulfill all of our needs, friendships can also help fulfill our needs. So it's just a matter of, do you love and want to be with this person enough to evolve and carry on a partnership together even if they don't meet those needs/desires? Or do you feel a longing for a different kind of connection? My advice is to listen to your heart, listen to your intuition and longing. Have a little faith that when you let honesty and goodness be your compass, everything will turn out best possible outcome. 

Wishing you strength in love <3

Wel (not verified) says...

Hello!

To be honest, I have the same problem! I've been in a relationship for almost a year and been overthinking everything ever since! I guess it's just our personality. Dreaming of how it would be if we met the one.... but what if the person we imagine doesn't even exist? 

Don't give up on your relationship just because of some overthinking.... maybe they are THE one? Just keep going as long as there are no problems! And you shouldn't question your not their feelings! 

Good luck <3

Po (not verified) says...

Hi I just took this personality test (actually a couple times) and got INFP. I feel as if yes I relate to this personality type 100% but for some reason after the results and the comments I'm left kinda disappointed. I love to constantly learn and that includes figuring out how I can positively grow and work on myself. Don't get me wrong this did give me a greater understanding of how/why I operate the way I do and is quite accurate but it also kinda backfired idk and now I'm in a bad/ansy/idontevenknowanymore mood. I always thought the way that I am right now directly stems from my depression and anxiety and with therapy I would be less like this but its exhausting to kinda come to terms with the fact that its mainly attributed to my personality. I dont want to overthink so much all the time. I dont want to be concerned for other people all the time. I wish I cared about money and was mindless and ignorant so I don't have to experience so much god damn stress and gloom thats results from navigating this toxic world. It just feels like with the INFP personality... anxiety and depression is an envitable symptom. It's a personality that inevitably is doomed in the modern world. Everyone is so cold and selfish and we feel so much it's a blessing but also a curse.

Obviously this is just my perspective and how I felt after learning my personality type - can anyone relate or throw some advice my way :o

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