INFP
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INFP Strengths

Idealism. INFPs care deeply for others and believe it is their duty to make a positive impact on the lives of other people in any way they can. Because of this unbreakable commitment, INFPs are capable of great self-sacrifice, and they won’t compromise their ethical standards for personal benefit. INFPs are firm believers in the unlimited potential of human beings to achieve remarkable things, and they can always be counted on to provide encouragement or material support to those who are attempting to expand their horizons.

Integrity. Integrity means everything to INFPs, and that includes intellectual as well as moral integrity. Some people might accuse INFPs of being overly imaginative or of being willing to stretch logic to the breaking point in order to find the deeper meaning they insist must exist, but there is no denying that the deeply reflective nature of INFPs allows them to transcend the boundaries of imagination that so often prevent us from discovering new solutions to old problems.

Compromise. As empathic idealists, harmonious relations are like a balm to the soul for INFPs. In family settings or when working in groups, INFPs are highly effective as mediators because they are legitimately interested in the viewpoints of all and will go out of their way to make sure that everyone is given a fair hearing. They are enthusiastic advocates of cooperation and believe that no difficulty is insurmountable when people work together for a common cause. 

Dedication. It is easy to pay lip service to virtues like compassion, creativity, originality and open- mindedness, but these ideas don’t mean much unless they can be translated into real-world applications. Fortunately, INFPs are masters at doing just that. Passionate and committed to the cause, these personalities have a unique ability to mold and shape their surrounding environment in ways that promote self- improvement and transcendent achievement for all. 

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INFP Weaknesses

Sensitivity. Their deep compassion, sensitivity and commitment to originality allows INFPs to interface with their interpersonal landscapes in a constructive manner, but these feelings also leave them vulnerable to disillusionment and powerful existential angst. INFPs who venture enthusiastically out into the world can end up retreating into lethargy and depression when they discover their idealism isn’t always shared or respected by others, and their incredible talents can go completely to waste when they become too discouraged to continue.

Impracticality. While their insistence on standing up for justice and decency is admirable, the intensity of their feelings can occasionally leave INFPs unwilling to make compromises even when doing so might be necessary to get something accomplished. Sticking to your morals is admirable, but in the real world it may be impossible to accomplish anything unless the INFP can find a way to give and take a little and find practical, if imperfect, solutions to problems. 

Selflessness. INFPs have a tendency to neglect or suppress their own needs if they believe it is necessary to keep the peace or make others happy. When a person holds his or her insecurities inside for too long, it can eventually cause a blow-up or an emotional breakdown. Sensitive INFPs often suffer in silence, and this is a pity because INFPs and their fellow travelers usually have people in their lives who care about them a lot and would be more than happy to help them deal with their heartaches and disappointments. 

Vulnerability. Compassionate to the core, INFPs lead with their hearts rather than their heads and this can sometimes set them up for trouble. Unfortunately there are users and manipulators out there who are always on the lookout for easy targets, and from the standpoint of these individuals INFPS might as well have flashing neon signs attached to their foreheads that say “exploit me, exploit me!” Trust is a wonderful thing, but not when it makes you gullible. 

INFP Growth and Development

In order to reach their full potential, INFPs should:

Learn to recognize the difference between compromise and concession. People who disagree with INFPs are simply seeing things from a different point of view, but to an INFP, it can feel like they are being backed into a corner. Instead of digging in their heels, INFPs must find a way to detach from the situation so they can comprehend the motivations of their opposition more clearly. If it is only a difference in values and not a lack of them that is responsible for divergent opinions, then INFPs should not expect others to give in to stubbornness any more than they would if the shoe were on the other foot.

Make sure dreams and fantasies are used to enhance reality rather than replace it. INFPs who look out at the world with idealistic eyes often see grand vistas of beauty and limitless possibility that others are not capable of perceiving. But INFPs sometimes choose to retreat into these fantasies instead of using them to solve real-world problems. Imagination can open the door to better possibilities, and INFPs should never lose sight of its transformative potential. 

Learn to respect the details. No matter how wonderfully inventive a new idea might be, it won’t get anywhere if the logistical details required to put it into practice are ignored or neglected. INFPs may find this aspect of the creative processes a bit boring, but they should challenge themselves to overcome their disinterest and pay attention to all those annoying details anyway. 

Seek out leadership positions. INFPs have strong egalitarian instincts, are natural conciliators, passionately believe in the utility of cooperation, are excellent listeners, and never fail to pay attention when someone has a new idea to share. These admirable qualities double as superb leadership skills, and no one who possesses them should avoid leadership positions simply because they aren’t extraverts. Above all else, leaders must have the respect of those they presume to lead, and INFPs are just as capable of gaining that respect as any other personality type. 

Accept themselves as they are without apology. Because their standards are so high, INFPs have a hard time forgiving themselves when they fail to meet their own expectations. They may also become indecisive and fall into a perfectionism so extreme that it cuts off their flow of creativity and makes it impossible for them to excel and achieve. This dynamic is unfortunate, especially as INFPs would never think of holding others to such impossible standards. For the sake of their mental health and happiness, INFPs must learn to stop comparing themselves to others and recognize that they should prioritize their own happiness.

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Comments

Ryan Konarski (not verified) says...

Hey there,

I started therapy when I was 15 (I'm 29 now). Randomly came across this thread, because I'm an INFP, and felt like learning something new today. Your message sounds extremly familiar to my scenario at your age. Take a breath, relax, and ask to see a therapist. It's completely normal, and is extremely benefical to you, because you deserve it! You mentioned you like to help with others problems, well the only way to help others, is to help yourself first so you can give your all:) You should be giving yourself a pat on the back for recognizing that you want to explore a therapist, that's a bigger step than most take!  I'm not sure who you need to speak with, I'm assuming your guardian(s), but just go tell them now - get it off your chest, so you can relax, and enjoy the rest of the day knowing you're going forward in life in a positive way.

Take care,

Ryan 
 

EvelynPolis (not verified) says...

Hi Lillianna,

I'm so sorry to hear that you're experiencing mental health problems. As a INFP myself and dealing with a lot of childhood issues for the last couple of years I can relate to your struggles. One thing I have learned in my 34 years on this planet is that my health and happiness is at the core of me being able to use my talents (including being there for others). In addition to that I've also found that if the people you care for don't care about you, your care goes unnoticed and it would be better to keep that energy to yourself. For us it's so natural to over-give. But that really is in nobody's interest. So please start loving yourself enough to take care of yourself first. Regardless what other people need. You deserve to be taken care of, to be heard and to be seen just as much as anybody else. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge your personal needs. We're no superheroes and you deserve to take your issues seriously. I wish you strength and I hope you'll get the help you need. Take care lovely. X

A.R Saturn (not verified) says...

Hello,

When I was younger I had the same problem except now I'm 25 and finally going to therapy and finally healing. I still feel like I'm trying figure out who I am. My best advice would be to get the help now, I know we tend to not want the attention or the care because we'd rather be the ones caring and helping others but the thing that helped me the most was realizing I wouldn't be able to truly help the people I love and care about if I wasn't okay. A person once told me if your cup is only half full and you keep giving all you have to others you won't be able to help as many people than you would with a full cup of that makes sense. We are introverts so we must preserve our energy as much as we can and use it to help people to the best of our ability. There's no shame in receiving the help now. Just now that you will be in a much better place to help even more people in the future. I hope this helps, I wish I would've asked for help when I was younger because then it becomes a bad habit and you end up never asking for help. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Everyone needs it sometimes. :) 

Talia (not verified) says...

Hi! I'm a 22 year old INFP! 
Over the last few years I've learned that in order to be "The Healer" you have to take care of yourself first. And yes it's going to be uncomfortable at first but that's okay. Admit it to yourself first that you need to see a therapist and become comfortable with the idea before opening up to the adults in your life that you want to start therapy. 
Trust me, in 5 years you will thank yourself for choosing you. I am proud of you for even acknowledging that you have trouble with putting yourself first, it's not easy. 
You got this, taking care of you doesn't mean you're a bad person remember that always.

MarieD111 (not verified) says...

Hello Lilliannakirby, I understand that sometimes it is extremely difficult to deal with our own problems when we are so used to take care of others. Remember that as much as you want to help others, you can only help others fully once you are healed. Even though I can't come up with specific advices on how to handle the situation, I am here to encourage you to ask for help. Don't be scare to take control of your mental health, it is important now and for your future. I can promise you that you will feel lighter when you start digging into your pains and start understanding yourself. Please now is the time to reach out and ask to see a therapist - tomorrow is looking bright.

Cheers my fellow INFP. 

Vincent Carty (not verified) says...

Sometimes we need to reflect on the facts that matter the most: You are a creation who has great support of many loving friends you may not yet be aware of! Many have come to know that guidence as the gift of intuition. Among the most life-improving things we sense is that our awareness of it's interest and commitment to us grows as we acknowledge and appreciate it. Please try to let go of the conversation that there is anything in you that needs correcting: things internally can begin to feel better very quickly. You will be amazed! I have developed a new perspective on these things from many useful and helpful sources. One great one are the series by Abraham-Hicks on youtube. Ther are hundreds of deep discussions taken from live seminars over many years there. Again, remember that nothing needs to be fixed in you, Lilianna. Your beauiful spirit is in the process of blossoming!

Edmund A Jones (not verified) says...

I have been:

Professional clown (Great money, draining)

Actor (Commercial and Shakespearean, loved it, money inconsistent)

Game Show Host (Best money, most draining)

Drama Teacher (Most rewarding, loved it, least money :( )

Author (Great at writing, bad at self-promotion)

Loan Officer (on the phone, hated it, cried everyday in the bathroom)

Director (Great fun, very rewarding creatively, low income)

Sales:

  • Retail (draining, low income, never tried commissioned position)
  • Car (long hours, emotionally draining)
  • Insurance (did well, but quit before I started to hate it)

Front End Web Designer (loved that I worked anytime and alone)

Greeting Card Illustrator (not consistent, was very nice)

Playwright (made some good money too, inconsistent, self-promotion again is tough for me)

Car model/Product Specialist (Great money, emotionally draining, not much creative energy left)

Host at a Restaurant (Decent pay, very draining)

Currently preparing to be a Business Analyst for software development (decent pay, verdict is still out on how it makes me feel)

 

I've found I am most happy when I wake up early and do something creative before I have to go to a non-creative job. 

I was most happy in my jobs where I did a lot of the work alone (acting and directing are actually mostly solitary endeavors). I love writing, I hate marketing my writing.

If you go into the arts, you MUST have a strong agent as an INFP. You need someone who will structure your life and help you finish things. They also need to help you with promoting yourself.

If you go into entrepreneurship you MUST have someone who is detailed oriented! You'll be great at starting things, you need someone who is a great finisher.

TTaylor (not verified) says...

Hi Edmund. I am trying to help my 25 yo son who is an infp. He finished his BA in history and has had trouble finding a career. He is now trying to get into a 2nd BS program in computer science, but he loves with me and I can tell he's really struggling with motivation and some depression after a serious girlfriend breakup. You mentioned really enjoying front end web design. I feel at a loss as to how to help him. I love him enormously and we have a great relationship, but I can tell he's feeling lost and like a failure. I just don't know how to help encourage him. Any thoughts?

Potential fellow INFPer (not verified) says...

Heart wounds are like any other body wounds. It takes time to heal. If he's a history person, all he has to do is look back on maybe some event that caused devastation and realize that it just takes time for an economy or society to get back on track, or a new track. And that it's okay to feel through some of what he's feeling. One thing is true, heartbreak hurts like the dickens. Let's just be honest. (that can sometimes be freeing in itself when we can be honest with ourselves). My favorite understanding from a friend, said you carry peace with pain. In other words, sometimes we forget we aren't just single processors. We can carry pain while still doing and enjoying other things. We are actually dual processors or more (that metaphor might carry over for the computer science person). Another metaphor I've used is a candle. When I've been in love, I just have to wait for the candle to burn all the way to the bottom. (the feeling side that's still in love, that I have to wait out). And going back to the history metaphor, this will help him learn something for future relationships. (but that's probably not where he's at, that takes some time and distance to see what one has learned from past relationships) I also feel like love is kind of like teeth, sometimes you have to lose the first one's so a stronger love can grow in. The love we have for humanity which all NFPers I think can connect to or relate to, or maybe the love that's more than just circumstance and luck but one you work to build with the next partner becaue you really value it. My first romance was the kind that even the best movies can't capture. But truly i think it was the salve that covered up what needed to be addressed inside. Feeling whole and good in my own skin, and finding positve direction in my life, which can feel impossible to NFPers again who get so much motivation from being of service to others. It's like we don't know who we are when we aren't helping others in some way, or seeing our help do visible good in the world. I think that's the motivation for NFPers, seeing that their work is doing visble good. The content of what we are doing is only going to be so satisfying but tying it to an outcome that we do see as valuable, that changes the landscape of our work. For example, teaching history, (can be satisfying if one is passionate about the subject matter) but another primary motivator could just be getting a chance to foster a creative, curious or historian mind, in the students he teaches. Computer science, a lot of it, can be driven by the concept of Software as a Service (great probably for INFPers). There's so much good CS can do for others. And the way developers work together to develop together in Agile teams methodologies, there's just a lot of good people and good work that can be captured in through it. He's going to get through this, you are a good father (clearly). Sometimes, when really big life changing and challenging events happen in our lives, taking things more day by day, is healing. I think anything he can do for self-compassion. If it's a walk outside, or making himself his favorite breakfast, or watching his favorite movie, or calling up a friend, or having a couple people where he can start a history book club togetehr to continue to nourish that if he loves history. Whatever he can do for self-compassion or self-care will also be deeply healing. One small thing each day he can do for himself. Meditation, yoga and healthy, nourishing foods were my balm for many years. Hope for future love when he's ready to open that door again. Our world needs the NFPers, we are the super or deeply caring type that is so rare, that is not something to feel bad about, it's something to continue to cultivate and take pride in. 

pr.scill (not verified) says...

It is normal that as a parent, you would try to help him. As far as the break up, he has to heal on his own and only time will tell. As far as the career, it would probably be good for him to reflect on why he got his first Bachelor's in the first place. This may help revisit why he chose the path he chose and present a next step. If he cannot figure out the next steps for his first Bachelor's degree, it is not likely that he will know what to do with the second. At the end of the day, the degree is just backing him up, but he still has to be able to stand on his own two feet. You're doing a great job as a parent in trying to look after him. 

LaraW (not verified) says...

It's so fascinaitng, and heart warming to hear all these INFP stories in one place. At 52 years old, I can identify with pretty much all of it. I've studied multiple things – from horse training, to art, to photo journalism/communications, to documentaries, and massage and movement therapies; and I've had a few degrees and many jobs, in many locations along the way. I eventually came to the conclusion that doing so many differnt things was key to "helping me figure out what I DIDN'T want in my life."

And soooo much angst at every turn. I Knew my job/career HAD to be a calling, and no less. I couldn't understand how those around could choose less. While sometimes I did feel others were inadvertantly trying to supress my dreams, I was usually stubborn enough to reject their ideas – sometimes to my detriment of course, but sometimes I explored things just because someone said I probably wouldn't be good at it: despite my preference for creativity, I discovered along the way my proprensity for problem solving also makes me really good at things like finances, organizing, and other handy skills that can augment most any career. I was lucky enough to have very supportive parents, but I have often wished (many years after the fact, but Not at the time!) I'd had someone who gave me a little less reins, a it more structure, and had encouraged my exposure to science or engineering, because I think I would have been good at, and enjoyed those tracks too. ...So don't limit yourself, and explore some things you've never thought of before. You never know. 

Doing a variety of personality+career tests about ten years ago, Really helped me refocus and get onto my current career path; and was immensly helpful in helping me understand myself, and where all the INFP traits fit into the greater scheme of things, incl career paths (but I'm not sure I would have been ready for that information before then. Or I likely have done something different with it, then I ended up doing). I saw that my core desire to help others could be realized in a variety of ways/jobs. And to honor my need for a "calling," not just a job. And that my appetite for variety and continued knowledge had to be fed. or I would be bored to tears. I had already been mostly self-employed for years, so I knew I loved that freedom, but I also knew I did better with some structure (like in school), so having clients/appointments to show up for on a daily basis keeps me more anchored. Now I'm working as an advanced/medical massage and movement therapy, where I work for myself, but have a self-designed schedule, help people on an hourly basis, developing strong therapeutic relationships with them (akin to coaching), and am constantly taking continuing education. I'm not 100% sure it's the last career I'll ever have, but ten years in and I still love what I do and I'm not bored, so that's a great start ;). And I can see many exciting, potential twists and turns ahead if I choose to take a detour, or reorient a little. I've come to the place where I'm okay with that, because I know it's what I do, and what feeds my mind and soul. While I do have to remember to keep my dreams inline with also feeds my bank account, I've come to realize that is not as hard as it looked from afar, as there is a world of possibilites and opportunities. 

...And for those who mentioned that getting out of your comfort zone is scary: yes it is! That's why it's called a 'comfort' zone ;). But there are sooo many unknown rainbows, and unicorns, and relationships, and ideas, and things to learn about yourself out there. It's totally okay to take it slowly; just nudge your threshold for discomfort bit by bit, but do nudge it, because eventually it will expand! And because I'll tell you a 52 yr old's not-so-secret, secret: a comfort zone never remains comfortable forever. Life will deliver discomfort one way or the other, so you might as well choose the paths that look interesting yet rocky, then dull and rocky! Happy journies!

Jess.R (not verified) says...

Hi LaraW,

Thank you for sharing your motivating story! As a confused first year college student studying nursing, I was never truly sure on where or how I wanted to go along things in life. This brought some comfort to me, as I felt that I could relate with the things you mentioned as well. Cheers.

 

DudeFromDetroit (not verified) says...

Thank you for your post. I am in my thirties and is fun to get a "glimpse into the future" with your insights. You are appreciated! I am so glad you shared this.

And for the young INFPs out there...

...buckle you got A LOT of exploring to do--it's in your nature.

Just another indecisive person (not verified) says...

Hey LaraW!!

What would you do if you were a 17 year old who has no way of finding a good college or university in engineering and needed 2,000,000 ruppes by the age of 30-32 if she wanted to live..... I feel lost.

Sorry if I ruined your mood.

P.S. I suck at basically everything and don't have  supporive parents. 

Pravina (not verified) says...

Hi! Stumbled across this post as I'm an INFP-T myself. I've been scrolling through the comments and have found so many experiences and feelings that are similar to mine. Would be willing to join a Facebook group if someone was to set one up. 

Navneet (not verified) says...

It's kinda scary for me to find people exactly like me. Also your idea of Facebook group is cool.. looking forward to it

CattyD (not verified) says...

A Facebook page would be fab! 

Roussoss Demisse (not verified) says...

Hi, I have always been feeling the same and started a Facebook group for INFP to share learn and network since this is one of the highly misunderstood personality in the world, being only 4-5% of the population.

c.atakan says...

I've been thinking about this for a while, and I was going to form such a group soon. I think it would be very good.

Alexxx (not verified) says...

Do you dear infps sometimes feel too much emotions in simple things too? Like when you see a simple piece of poem and then you can cry over it or think about it for hours ?or wonder that some people just listen to music and don't feel anything or pretend they do but you listen to the same music and can connect with every word of the lyrics?or you always want to help people to make them happy but no one does it for you like you don't even exist? You are mostly confused about your goals in life and often wonder why you are here and imagine a world in your head without these insecurities and fears that you have? Do you sometimes think "what if nothing gives me the same thrill?" Do you....

sadskies (not verified) says...

Yes, you described it perfectly. I feel that way all the time. 

Yollande says...

hi. i think we've been livng the same life lol. do you by any chance write poems when you're sad and you try to get someone to understand by not talking to them, but only wishing for it? please tell me this makes sense to someoen haha. 

Reeeem (not verified) says...

Omg I feel the exact same.. sometimes even when any random person ask me how am I doing in life my eyes fills with tears and my throat hurts. And I'm always asking myself what is my purpose in life and in constant search of who I am..  I truly relate to you 

sukiiiii (not verified) says...

omg i literally cry whenever a teacher/adult asks me how im feeling even if i feel fine!!!

Kavya (not verified) says...

Yes!.. this is exactly what i feel. Wow. 

c.atakan says...

You are not alone, I always think about exactly the same things, always..

Franco (not verified) says...

Alexxx, what an accurate description.That's exactly how I feel. 

Tanu Shukla (not verified) says...

Yes I do .

Alexxx...I don't know your age so I am assuming that you ,like me are a teen . The point that you made about helping people.....it's like you are talking about me, though I connect with all that you wrote ,but that particular point hits hard. It's like even my parents see a fraction of the person I really am. And them being sensors and thinkers or unhealthy feelers  (my mother) doesn't help either. 

Sorry I just ranted about myself. Frustration does strange things to you. 

I am hell like confused regarding my future. It's like standing at a dead end. I don't know how to put it any other way. I loved science as a mid schooler and now I just can't stand it. I'm somewhere in between of infp and intp , both turbulent. Technically I should be comfortable and interested in  sciences. I am good at it. But I don't wanna continue, cause it isn't fun anymore. 

c.atakan says...

Hello, I'm a 19 year old infp.And i suffering from trying to find my purpose in my life.I can't find anything that i am good at.I mean i'm doing some stuff, like photography,painting, drawing, graphic design etc. And other people like what I do. But I feel like these things just ain't right for me,to do in my future as a career.After all, I get bored with everything so quickly. I can't do any of them for a long time.İts funny, because of  this i have no addiction to anything.no game no smoking no alcohol, nothing. All aside, I don't even have a good friend. I have no one to talk about my worries.Even if I told some of my family, they never got a solution.I have no idea what to do, whatever I do, it seems in vain.I guess the reason is because ı think i cant make money by doing these in the future.I know money is not important to my personality type, but I can't stop think about it.

I know I won't be able to see what will happen without trying them but it feels like I have one shot. Even if its true, I'm not brave enough to try. I'm afraid to open up to the world, to go to new places, to meet new people, to leave my comfort zone.I'm insecure about these. I don't know how i got here but i used to so much different,i was so much confident.

Anyway i got ridiculous, all I want is to learn how to stop thinking about these. And somebody to talk to.This is the first time I have expressed myself so clearly.I was so comfortable because I knew you were just like me and you would understand me. 

my name is cemal atakan dağ and i would love to meet someone like me and be frends.But I don't know could it be possible after all this nonsense. But still thanks for reading..

kimiya (not verified) says...

Hey.. I totally understand you. I'm 22 years old now. As a kid I was so confident so happy and cheerful.. I enjoyed doing fine art and I was really good at it. Then in middle school I became interested in science especially biology..  then I got bachelor degree in Russian language cause I didn't make entering medical school, but now I'm happy about it cause I still love biology but I don't like to be a doctor anymore. 

I'm really into learning about cultures ,history and languages. English is my second language and I'm learning Spanish too. 

From highschool time I eventually lost my confident and happiness. I couldn't go to new places and meet new people, I was so shy. But then I faced my fears and I'm confident more than I used to be! So be sure once you face it , eventually you will feel better.

I really get you when you say I think I can't make money from my skills, cause I think like that too. I want my job to be creative and artistic but I think its future is not financially safe. I wanted to be a translator but now I think it's not enough for me. I also afraid of doing boring job for the rest of my life! 

E.Karabey (not verified) says...

Hello Cemal,

 

As a fellow INFP I know what you are going through. To give you a little aid concerning your career :

Do not think about the money. First find out what you enjoyed as a child. Did you like to draw or go outside with friends or looking after your pets etc.

Write all of these down. Second thing you need to do, is think about where you put your time in. Where do you invest your time easily ? Well computer games and

watching series does not count. There must be something you are deeply interested in. Where you put your time and you don't care if your time flies... also write this down.

Now you have the beginning of your path. Start with this. Invest your time in your interests with any concern on money.

At first your life goal will be inaccurate. This is quite normal. You are 19 ,don't be hard on yourself but also don't waste your time.

Have some fun and go outside by pursuing your hobbies with other people. Might be some voluntary work, animal shelter, Yoga or whatever you like - you need

to go outside and meet other people.

Thats it. I hope it helps you.

 

c.atakan says...

I really appreciate your suggestion. I think this will really help. I will try it very soon. thanks a lot again E. Karabey..

MM (not verified) says...

Go on www.JW.org   It's free in over 1,000 languages and full of amazing self help. 

Toar (not verified) says...

yahalo nice to meet you

Tanu Shukla (not verified) says...

Hey cemal you can't do this I mean you are talking about me....except for the addiction part I am addicted to novels they are my drugs...no lie.

Anyone can suggest me good books 😆😆

saumya singh (not verified) says...

hey camel, i can feel you. after reading your post it felt like someone has read my mind and out it into words. if you wan to talk you can. i too do not have much friends and have hard time telling my emotions to others. 

looking forward to talk to you.

c.atakan says...

I would like to talk too, how can i find you?

DTyre (not verified) says...

Hi Cemal,  I am 47 and your experience so far is one I have also had to try to figure out but for far longer. It is a common one for INFP's I think.  For me when I was your age I stumbled around from job to job (prep cook, line cook, working in a plant store, world's worst secretary), course to course (general studies, horticulture). Looking back I don't have any regrets as I moved around with alot of freedom, travelled, and had great experiences. I married and had three kids in my late twenties and didn't worry about careers as I stayed home with my kids.  40 hit as did marriage crises and time to revisit the idea of finding my own way.  I went to art school and played with that for a bit, selling some work but have no interest or motivation in monetizing my art.  It became meaningless to make more and I felt very isolated and like I wasn't contributing to my community in a meaningful way. I took a couple of courses about greif and to be a death doula and a short course to become a health care assistant and work in home care.  This was fulfilling but not creative in any way and draining emotionally. It did build my self-confidence and I became aware that I was a good listener. People liked talking to me and I was able to give them space and understanding without judgement for who they were and what they were experiencing.  From that experience I was finally able to decide on my next direction which is to pursue a psychology degree and a masters program in art therapy.  I guss what I'm trying to say, with this long self history, is that it really is a journey.  You don't have to know for sure yet where you're going but starting in a direction that interests you will open new doors of possibility and all the experience you gain along the way will contribute to making you even better at what you do eventually become. Best of luck to you.

Noor Al Ibrahim DHA 398136 (not verified) says...

Thank you for sharing your journey DTyre. I needed to read such thing after stumbling about this site then reading the comments section. It warmed my heart, tears running and you know the whole infp drill. I've been having intense emotions regarding my career choices and future. I've been pursuing  writing, teaching, art and I even worked in office job (sales) for 1 year until I had breakdown, couldn't do it. I don't seem to have specific presise thing that I can thrive in, without getting emotionally exhausted or bored.i

Your comment reminded me that it is a  journey indeed and hopefully we all get the most of it. 

Thank you. 

 

Arvin (not verified) says...

Hello everyone, INFP-A here. 

Something in me told me to write this, so here I am...

 

Talk to yourself more often.

You are the only person who'll be with you.

Your entire life...

Be kind to yourself, and become your own best friend...

Trust yourself

Learn to help yourself

And be brave enough to save yourself.

Learn to be at peace.

And understand what gives you peace...

Your peace is growth...

Open your mind.

And think...

 

DontResistChange

/// DRC ///

Jess.R (not verified) says...

Thank you for sharing this. From finding this website and reading inspiring comments like yours... I feel hope in me again. It's been a while. :)

CF (not verified) says...

Thank you. Strangely feels like it was meant for me from someone I hold close in memory. 1001

bethanygrace337 says...

Hi All, I have an INFP 12 years old daughter. I want to ask the adult/teens INFP what are some things I can do as her mom to help her transition into her teenage years. What should the adults around you have done or not do to better connect with you in your teenage years? What are the ways to motivate you? Love to hear your thoughts! THANK YOU!

Jess.R (not verified) says...

Hey Bethany Grace, I think it's so awesome that you're asking! Thank you for caring like this.

Coming from an 18 yr old INFP girl, I would recommend that you give your daughter a lot of recognition and make her feel appreciated. Appreciate her creativity and encourage her to pursue the things that make her happy. Most INFPs, as dreamers, love to work for what they believe in and often need sources of inspiration. Encourage her to keep motivated.

Keep yourself emotionally open and let her know you're willing to talk to her about things! Even when things get tough, try to approach her with an open-mind.  Communication is key :). Maybe it's just my circle of people, but I hear a lot about how parents don't talk to their kids on an emotional level these days. That can hurt them a lot. Of course, like all teens, they will need their alone time too-and they'll let you know when.

I wish you the best in your parenting journey.

 

Tanu Shukla (not verified) says...

Hey !

I am an infp teenage girl surrounded by sensors and thinkers . Sometimes even the most basic scolding puts me in a state of anxiety for more than a month . So don't demoralize her. Cause what is normal to you might be a serious issue in her eyes. Never let her feel empty . And most importantly sit with her and listen her emotional rant every day, Don't give advice unless she asked for it cause I usually like to solve my problems my way. Let her creativity flourish and if she isn't doing any creative stuff then she might be in serious trouble help her . Remind her to be health conscious if she is lazy like me . Here as well the same rule applies DON'T GIVE/ FORCE ADVICE UNLESS ASKED. 

I'm really sorry if I sounded like a jerk. Hopefully you will understand. 

Cathylv (not verified) says...

I think it's important to let her have alone time, which is kind of a teenager-y thing as it is. My parents didn't force me to do things and allowed me to explore different things which I appreciated. Maybe suggest but don't force, like what classes to take or extra activities. Those are mostly over arching things I suppose, and I did need help with more practical things like organization and financial advice. Those are super important things to learn for an infp, anything that is "real world practical" based. Without that it's harder becoming a responsible adult and you end up relying on others to do it for you. Also let her do what she wants when it comes to personal style. Let her make her own mistakes. If she has suggestions on what she wants to do , with feelings and comes to you just listen, being shot down too many times might result in her coming to you less for things.  Make sure to know who she talks to and who her friends are because I found it was easy to get manipulated by people. Anyways that's all I can think of for now.

Jess.R (not verified) says...

This!! These are great points.

PDani13 (not verified) says...

Hi, I am a 17 yo. female, INFP teen and some pieces of advice I would give with the knowledge I have would be to never crush her dreams. Be a dreamer with her. My parents would always criticise my dreams and claim them to be 'illogical'. As your daughter gets into the earlier teen years I think emotional support is very important and communication about where she wishes to go inside and outside of school. I went through a lot of phases and wanted support throughout each phase that I never got. Always believe in her and never give up! Good luck I hope this helps :)

Shira (not verified) says...

You remind me of myself when I was a teenager. These days I find myself wishing I didn't listen to my parents because they crushed my dreams too many times, I don't even know who or what I am for the longest time. It took many years to discover that, and I could only do it when I stopped seeking for approval from others. I ended up quitting my job which took me 7-8 years of university and training to get to. Now at 28 I'm starting all over again!

You can make your dreams come true, and yes maybe it seems illogical but that's only because you're a teenager. As you become more experienced, you navigate life a lot better and plan things out. Your parents may never understand, so you just have to accept that they always mean well and want the best for you even if it looks like they don't support you. Find like-minded people, find friends you can trust, and be the friend you always needed especially to youself. Be kind to yourself, always. Always. And you'll be just fine.

Cathylv (not verified) says...

This is totally correct 😀

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