INFP
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INFP Strengths

Idealism. INFPs care deeply for others and believe it is their duty to make a positive impact on the lives of other people in any way they can. Because of this unbreakable commitment, INFPs are capable of great self-sacrifice, and they won’t compromise their ethical standards for personal benefit. INFPs are firm believers in the unlimited potential of human beings to achieve remarkable things, and they can always be counted on to provide encouragement or material support to those who are attempting to expand their horizons.

Integrity. Integrity means everything to INFPs, and that includes intellectual as well as moral integrity. Some people might accuse INFPs of being overly imaginative or of being willing to stretch logic to the breaking point in order to find the deeper meaning they insist must exist, but there is no denying that the deeply reflective nature of INFPs allows them to transcend the boundaries of imagination that so often prevent us from discovering new solutions to old problems.

Compromise. As empathic idealists, harmonious relations are like a balm to the soul for INFPs. In family settings or when working in groups, INFPs are highly effective as mediators because they are legitimately interested in the viewpoints of all and will go out of their way to make sure that everyone is given a fair hearing. They are enthusiastic advocates of cooperation and believe that no difficulty is insurmountable when people work together for a common cause. 

Dedication. It is easy to pay lip service to virtues like compassion, creativity, originality and open- mindedness, but these ideas don’t mean much unless they can be translated into real-world applications. Fortunately, INFPs are masters at doing just that. Passionate and committed to the cause, these personalities have a unique ability to mold and shape their surrounding environment in ways that promote self- improvement and transcendent achievement for all. 

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INFP Weaknesses

Sensitivity. Their deep compassion, sensitivity and commitment to originality allows INFPs to interface with their interpersonal landscapes in a constructive manner, but these feelings also leave them vulnerable to disillusionment and powerful existential angst. INFPs who venture enthusiastically out into the world can end up retreating into lethargy and depression when they discover their idealism isn’t always shared or respected by others, and their incredible talents can go completely to waste when they become too discouraged to continue.

Impracticality. While their insistence on standing up for justice and decency is admirable, the intensity of their feelings can occasionally leave INFPs unwilling to make compromises even when doing so might be necessary to get something accomplished. Sticking to your morals is admirable, but in the real world it may be impossible to accomplish anything unless the INFP can find a way to give and take a little and find practical, if imperfect, solutions to problems. 

Selflessness. INFPs have a tendency to neglect or suppress their own needs if they believe it is necessary to keep the peace or make others happy. When a person holds his or her insecurities inside for too long, it can eventually cause a blow-up or an emotional breakdown. Sensitive INFPs often suffer in silence, and this is a pity because INFPs and their fellow travelers usually have people in their lives who care about them a lot and would be more than happy to help them deal with their heartaches and disappointments. 

Vulnerability. Compassionate to the core, INFPs lead with their hearts rather than their heads and this can sometimes set them up for trouble. Unfortunately there are users and manipulators out there who are always on the lookout for easy targets, and from the standpoint of these individuals INFPS might as well have flashing neon signs attached to their foreheads that say “exploit me, exploit me!” Trust is a wonderful thing, but not when it makes you gullible. 

INFP Growth and Development

In order to reach their full potential, INFPs should:

Learn to recognize the difference between compromise and concession. People who disagree with INFPs are simply seeing things from a different point of view, but to an INFP, it can feel like they are being backed into a corner. Instead of digging in their heels, INFPs must find a way to detach from the situation so they can comprehend the motivations of their opposition more clearly. If it is only a difference in values and not a lack of them that is responsible for divergent opinions, then INFPs should not expect others to give in to stubbornness any more than they would if the shoe were on the other foot.

Make sure dreams and fantasies are used to enhance reality rather than replace it. INFPs who look out at the world with idealistic eyes often see grand vistas of beauty and limitless possibility that others are not capable of perceiving. But INFPs sometimes choose to retreat into these fantasies instead of using them to solve real-world problems. Imagination can open the door to better possibilities, and INFPs should never lose sight of its transformative potential. 

Learn to respect the details. No matter how wonderfully inventive a new idea might be, it won’t get anywhere if the logistical details required to put it into practice are ignored or neglected. INFPs may find this aspect of the creative processes a bit boring, but they should challenge themselves to overcome their disinterest and pay attention to all those annoying details anyway. 

Seek out leadership positions. INFPs have strong egalitarian instincts, are natural conciliators, passionately believe in the utility of cooperation, are excellent listeners, and never fail to pay attention when someone has a new idea to share. These admirable qualities double as superb leadership skills, and no one who possesses them should avoid leadership positions simply because they aren’t extraverts. Above all else, leaders must have the respect of those they presume to lead, and INFPs are just as capable of gaining that respect as any other personality type. 

Accept themselves as they are without apology. Because their standards are so high, INFPs have a hard time forgiving themselves when they fail to meet their own expectations. They may also become indecisive and fall into a perfectionism so extreme that it cuts off their flow of creativity and makes it impossible for them to excel and achieve. This dynamic is unfortunate, especially as INFPs would never think of holding others to such impossible standards. For the sake of their mental health and happiness, INFPs must learn to stop comparing themselves to others and recognize that they should prioritize their own happiness.

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Comments

Andrea suissi (not verified) says...

Hi you. just wanted to say you aren't alone both with your worries and your life style.
I feel I never fit this world and I'm often blocked by worries and responsabilities

Jiji (not verified) says...

I completely feel you. You're going to survive though. Like I'm going to survive. But let's hope we do more than to survive. I'm also desperate to feel fulfilled as well as be able to provide but to find the fine line is so difficult for me who feels numb about all the jobs now. I wonder who actually enjoys their jobs. I wonfer if I will ever love mine.

Let's get through this, as we're not alone.

Rainbow Meg (not verified) says...

I'm an INFP with depression and anxiety as well. If you think that you are suffering from those two diseases you really should seek out professional help, especially if the people around you aren't able to give you the support that you need. I think it is really easy for us to neglect our own needs and forget that our mental health is the foundation that the rest of our life is built on. If we don't care for and nurture our mental health it is likely to cause problems in other areas of our lives. A lot of mental health professionals work very hard to make their services accessible to people even if they work during the day. If they can't accommodate your schedule they can probably recommend someone who can. I even have a friend who gets counseling sessions through a popular messaging app. But even if you could only do a few sessions, counseling could provide you with some very effective tools for dealing with the kinds of feelings and situations you described. 

Julia_bln (not verified) says...

I'm basically on the same page and I can truly feel everything you said. 

I think it's necessary for us to embrace being that way, embrace not being like our extroverted friends who are taking things easy and don't seem to worry nearly as much as we do. We do worry a lot, we're so much more sensitive and we feel pain simply more intensely. But we're also able to feel joy and happiness in a way that most people cannot even imagine.

Doesn't mean that I'm not struggling right now, but I know that better times will come, they always do. 

Adelaide (not verified) says...

I'm an INFP and I resonate with all of what you said. I also don't want to be pushy with religion/Jesus, but it does help me, so maybe it could help you as well, if you were open to it. The whole corporate job situation is where I am at the moment. It's miserable. Also it's miserable that I can't seem to make up my mind on what I would rather be doing. I say you have already cleared a massive hurdle, in that you have a direction you know you want to go in. 

I hope it all works out!

Valerie (not verified) says...

I second getting closer to Jesus. It truly saved me

Katelynn (not verified) says...

It's crazy but I am the exact same way I feel you 100%. Let me tell you one thing that has drastically changed my outlook on life and how I handle it, and it was coming back to Religion. I was never really raised strictly but, my mother was so when it came around to her kids we were not raised like her, which meant ultimately we were believing in God but not necessarily a Religion. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, self-confidence, and I never really knew why. I dabbled in tarot and all that mess and it left me being awakened to the world and its deceitfulness to keep us fat, dumb, blind, medicated, sad/depressed, angry/short-tempered..yet still hungry to find that last puzzle piece. We live in an illusion and in a daze and some people don't see what's being veiled over our eyes and Thank God I have woken up. By no means am I trying to force my Religion on you but it sincerely has changed me. Just recently Jesus saved me from an abusive relationship, I honestly was scared for my life by the end of it. Now that I have come back to Christ I have come to understand anything that is not serving you and making you unhappy is evil and cursing you to be sinful, there is only love in the Kingdom of Heaven. So when I realize I am getting depressed, short-tempered with those around me I rebuke that and say "That isn't me" I deserve to be loved and happy what am I sad/angry for ?" I've learned to forgive and forget, who cares about wrongdoings done over short periods of time, our soul is eternal but this human life is short. All I am saying is if you're anything like me... which I am guessing you are INFP, don't waste the 1 life we have here in sadness, stress, and other stuff other than love and happiness, trust the plan of God for everything in your life is pre-planned so let go of worries, doubts and think about Heaven, Jesus, and God for they are perfection, there is only love there, no stress or worries. Just hold on a little longer and if you're not Christian look into Jesus and how he has changed people, even bringing non-believers like a Satanic high priest back to him. For the end of times is coming he has been whispering it in my ear and I want all my brothers and sisters to meet him, to feel his unconditional love, and come back to our home in heaven. God Bless. 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."      John 3:16

Valerie (not verified) says...

I can second this. I struggled all my life with the same. it wasn't until I fully leaned into God and read his word, got to truly see who Jesus is, that my life completely changed for the better. I feel like I've gotten closer to being a mature INFP if not already. It really really helped. And I of course am the same, I would never force my beliefs on anyone. It just feels wrong to keep something to myself that's helped me tremendously. Hang in there INFPs!

Myyyyyyy (not verified) says...

I am also an INFP, 28 years, Living far away from my family for almost 5 years. (studying)

I knew I was always different but didn't know nothing about my personality type and why I am the way I am.

Through reading (which I enjoy) I found out about the different personality types and I made the test.

From that moment on I came to understand my self a little bit more and have compassion with myself. I was always so hard on myself,

changed study field so many times because I couldn't find my perfect 'fit'. I was not happy doing things that other people (family/friends) expect me to do but I just did it because what else Am I going to do with my life?

But I started to put myself first, to listen to my heart, to my desires and accept that I am here by myself and I am responsible for my life and choices and that no one can determine my future (career) for me.

I am now very interested in numerology after seeing double numbers for months everyday.

Maybe you can do some research about it and find your lifepath number, read about it maybe you can get more insights and ideas about what to do with your life.

just remember we are all indivuals here, you are not here to live the life your family or friends want you to live, you have a purpose and try to

find or understand what that is.

You got your own back, Listen to your heart, We all make mistakes and that's the beauty of life because that is how we grow as a person and try not to make the same 

mistakes again and again.

you are still young and you have a life fulllllllll with opportunities. Do not give up on your dreams.

This is a beautiful time to learn more about yourself, to put yourself first and do what makes you happy.

Try some yoga at home and start journaling before bed or first thing in the morning.

Books are your bestfriends!

I send you lots of peace and love.. Stay strong! YOU GOT THIS <3

Sara Mak (not verified) says...

Stay Brave! You will get through whatever this is. INFP's tend to overthink to the point that we can choke on our thoughts. Take a step back for your own sanity. Also, by some of what your saying, it sounds like you are really depressed. I'm not sure why getting help would hurt your career but it is extremely important that you don't let depression get out of hand before you get help—take medication if need be because you need to eat(take care of yourself!). As for your relationship concerns, it makes so much sense that you want the special someone. I did too. They will come if you are patient and observant. INFP's are very caring people and pick the wrong partners sometimes, so don't ignore red flags when dating. Lastly, be unapologetically yourself, no matter what. Not everyone will get you. I wish you the best of luck!

Fati Conteh (not verified) says...

Wow, this is extremely refreshing to read. I don't know why I started feeling down, but I get on YouTube, I get distracted, start googling stuff. Don't remember how I got to my personality type, but then googled how many people have it. Or rather don't...Got hooked and now I'm here 😧 I'm so glad I accidentally found this! Woww, I've never resonated with so much feedback. I literally just turned 28 2 months ago. Due to 'family' I had to give up my apartment so I'm home with said family and it's kind of a lot. I care so much that I don't want to. I know I only have it so much time to enjoy my life until everything falls on me. My advice to you would be to get the support outside of home. You don't have to disclose anything like that to an employer and there's no database they can check. Unless you're looking to get a security clearance, but without decluttering and healing your heart that could be a more scary battle than need be. I say go for it and invest in you! 
Sending love from MD 🌱 I'm working on a podcast to share our stories girl! Hang in there! You are definitely not alone!!! You just inspired me so more because you were so courageous to share. Thank you! 

vanessa (not verified) says...

I completely understand. I've lost so much weight this year, on top of gut issues also dealing with some depression. I think we can be excruciatingly hard on ourselves and ruminate on all the negative in our life, especially when so much is happening all at once! Have you tried looking into a therapist to help you cope better with what's causing the depression? Mindfullness is also useful as others have mentioned. A huge keyword I keep hearing is PATIENCE. Our lives may be more unconventional and we may not be where we've pictured ourselves to be but try remembering just how far you've come. Quitting your job takes a lot of courage and is a step towards your true life passion. Don't let yourself ruminate on all the negative (oh I know how easy that can be).  Also don't beat yourself up on not finding a partner, its tough out there even for extroverts right now. Let this time be one of self-exploration in order to discover what it is you truly desire in life, what type of life is worth living for you. 

Jacob Roundy (not verified) says...

Hi, Meowmi, I am also an INFP and I can totally relate to your feelings of trying to find someone you can really relate to and share your feelings with and I don't think you should give up. You will be able to find someone who will love you just as much as you love them if you keep trying and moving forward. Don't sleep around like your friends are doing, that's not what true love is. True love is an emotional connection so strong that you want the other person to have more happiness than you. Feel free to email me at jacobroundy888@gmail.com and I'd be happy to listen to more of your feelings, and maybe we can just have a vent sesh together 😂

Hope you have a great day!

Jacob 

Ziggie (not verified) says...

Put ur faith in God........ 

h (not verified) says...

no

Valerie (not verified) says...

Yesss it's the only thing that's truly helped me

Ralph Cham (not verified) says...

And that's my WhatsApp number +96176803526 i can relate with what you're saying in some way

Ralph Cham (not verified) says...

And that's my WhatsApp number +96176803526 i can relate with what you're saying in some way

Ralph Cham (not verified) says...

Hello hope youre fine my name is ralph cham from lebanon if you would like a whatssap friend that you don't know and would like to talk anything to him you are more than welcome 

Shannon (not verified) says...

I have the same personality type as you and everything resonates with me so much. I also too forgot to eat because of depression and lay in bed crying. I'm 25 so similar age except I'm a woman haha. I literally only know extroverts.. my whole family are and its exhausting to be honest I feel like I dont fit in with anyone or anything.Im also trying to be happy.....life is hard. 

Aaron B. (not verified) says...

Being unhappy and/or anxious can be very tiring. As an INFP, I need to keep moving to keep myself  from worrying.  We all handle our problems as they come to us, so there is no need to dwell on them days or moths before they arrive.  I developed hobbies and interests to occupy my mind and find more productive and interesting things to think about.  I also got involved occasionally with community service to help others.  It made me feel good about myself, got me in touch with others and gave me perspective on how bad life can really be.  Cheering others up cheered me up and made me more attractive to others.  I never relied on other people to make me happy because I knew they would always let me down (thery're human).  I love people, but I just don't rely on them. Avoid self pity at all costs. It traps the soul, attracts predators, and drives away the good people you need in your life.  A good companion can help and comfort, but a bad one will bring you down with them.  I find cats to be self reliant, nonjudgemental and affectionate. Finally, you may have deep seated issues that need addressed. Outside of professional help, I read a book that really helped me improve my life.  It was called "A New Earth" by Ekart Tolle. I'm not into pop psychology and I'm not saying it is, but that book really helped me understand my ego and the pain element that drove my fear and anxieties.  Once I stopped telling myselft the same sad, accusing stories, much of my attitude changed.  I haven't read a self-help book since.  I reccomend the audio version - it's nice how he explaines it. 

Love and best wishes, fellow traveler.

 

Emily Lazar (not verified) says...

Thanks for the book sugesstion Aaron! I bought it now and ca't wait to read as a fellow INFP.

Ski (not verified) says...

Hey...

I am an INFP too.

I went through something similar.  I would love to share what I have learned, Take some time for yourself, get things out of your head, Writing (Journalling/ Poetry) definitely works. Also, try breathing exercise and regular exercise (you know to keep moving) that will help you stay focused and active.

Keep pushing, You will be proud of your accomplishments! I promise!

Stay safe, Take care.

Regards,

Ski.

Lashaun (not verified) says...

Hello there Meowmi. I just want to say that I resonate with your message because I was in a similar position. First and foremost I wish you nothing but healing and prosperity. I am not someone with decades of life experience but I will give some of the help my counselor gave me (I am also INFP). There are several things happening in your life at once. You are overwhelmed and you have a lot of fear over your current circumstances so I suggest that you find a way to practice mindfulness. This can be as small as taking your time with a cup of tea, taking a few moments to walk outside and recall your senses, or journaling your thoughts. You seem to be going through rumination (repetitive thoughts) like I did when I couldn't eat due to anxiety and depression. To add on, my counselor taught me that rumination and exhaustion can lead to neurovegitative symptoms. Neurovegitative symptoms can include lack of appetite and a lack of control over one's emotions in major depressive episodes; it may be why you cry suddenly sometimes in bed. That was something I couldn't control as well. 
 

If you can commit more time to practice mindfulness everyday, even if it's just a breathing technique, you will start to feel better. Your appetite will come back when you start to give your mind some kind of relief. 
 

Also it's not a bad thing to want what you want. None of us were made to love the same way or live the same way. If you know that you want a committed relationship and want to wait for that person, have faith that when you're ready it will happen for you. Soon you will be enjoying your life so much love will come without warning. The last thing I wanted to say is that it is okay to have bad days. It's okay if you don't have everything figured out at 27. 
 

I hope this is not too much. I just can't help it when I see others in similar positions emotionally. Stay safe.

 

Noh (not verified) says...

 Hello fellow INFP,

I really related a lot to your comment.  I think seeking professional help will help you rather than hurt you in the long run. And depending on where you live it should not affect your job prospects. In the US, you don't have to disclose your private medical history to your employer. So if you can afford it, I would highly recommend finding the right therapist to walk you through with anxiety & depression. I know it helped me. 

Fatema Hashim (not verified) says...

I thought I was reading about me there for a second... I am also 27, also recently quit my job, currently living with my family (one of whom has been emtionally abusive to me, though not because of alcohol), and also struggling with depression and anxiety (my mum has been trying to force feed me more for days lol). In addition to all of this, I am dealing with a traumatic breakup from earlier this year, not to mention Covid-19 and not having a "normal" life for the last year. I'm still trying to cope with my issues, trying to keep busy with freelance writing and helping out my dad's business, and going to the gym (sometimes to a point of exhaustion, which is probably not the most healthy thing). All I can say is though I can say without a doubt this has been the most psychologically testing year of my life and I don't feel particularly optimistic about the near future, the idealistic INFP in me sort of KNOWS things will eventually improve, new solutions I may not have thought about for my problems will arise, I just have to try my best in the meantime to keep myself healthy and safe. I hope this resonates with you, and things improve for you soon. :)

Kevinfl99 (not verified) says...

 Dont become dependant on your life circumstances to make you happy, let your sadness and fear be there in your experience and just study it. The more you learn what these negative emotions are in your experience, the more insights you get which will deepen your understanding of human emotions. That way you can effortlessly drop the suffering from the negative emotions, because you allow them to be there and you study how they work. 

Alizee (not verified) says...

I'm INFP too and I really feel You. If You ever want to talk to someone, I will be happy to listen. Just saying. I hope You will be successful and find that right person who will understand and support You. 

Choppa (not verified) says...

Hello guys, 

Great to see how everyone is helping out each other. I am an 19 year old INFP and after a hard time of psychosis and depression I kinda found some peace..even tough I sometimes struggle..but my problem is like a lot of u guys have..I enjoy reading, poems, music but not to a point where I could make a career out of it..I feel like animation could be cool but I also feel like..is this really what you want..so has any INFP out here an advice or career tips? Thanks guys

Prateek (not verified) says...

Hello! I'm also a 19 years old INFP who is interested in music and art in general. I think animation is a very cool course. You should definitely consider it as an option. I am currently doing Journalism and Mass Communication course. Actually, most of my INFP pals are doing something in arts, like filmmaking, fine arts or communications. Music is a good option too. Some people claim that it is not a good course, and I do understand why it has a bad reputation as a course. Music industry is also very unfair and preferences change with time. I suppose you can do animations and make music on the side. Start playing some instruments and make some music. Bed-room pop music is also very "in" right now and musicians like Clairo and Maia are gaining quiet a reputation in the industry. I understand what you're going through! Depression and  Psychosis makes it hard to even get up and do what you want to. It's difficult to find motivation to even bother getting out of bed. Listen to some songs by Dodie or Orla Gartland, or any musician of your choice. I promise everything will be okay! I believe in you!

skyreads1 (not verified) says...

Hey, so I'm a teenage girl and I totally agree with everything this says. I suffer from crippling anxiety and depression and it has taken a toll on me. When I was a kid, I remember being so extroverted. I was happy and ready to see the world. When my biological mother left me, I started to become quieter and my anxiety and depression started to form. I became more introverted and it was hard for me to really make friends.
Now I'm a closeted lesbian and it's hard for me to say what I feel. My whole life was in shambles and still is. Taking that personality test really helped me understand what my strengths and weaknesses are.
But if you have any advice on how to fix my life, please do share because I'm really lost.

Eap1234 (not verified) says...

Keep your head up, kiddo!  Literly do this with your shoulders back.

Seek professional help first and foremost.

Read the book "The Highly Sensitive Person."

Love yourself.  Love yourself before trying to love anyone else.  

Let your feelings pass through you rather than trying to block them out.  (Easier said than done... it takes practice.)

Make time for your favorite creative outlet like drawing or music.  Express yourself.  

Serve others especially when you feel anxious.   

Keep a journal.  

Stay away from anything that has power and controll over you.  

Unapologeticly be yourself.  

fee (not verified) says...

i'm definitely not qualified to be giving advice about this stuff, but if i were you i would probably try to find someone who is in a similar situation to me and reach out to them. i can't imagine how difficult things must be for you at the moment, but having someone you can talk to openly about these issues would probably help you out. bottling your emotions can be really unhealthy and harmful so having someone who you can always tell things to, whether it's a therapist, a close friend or maybe an internet friend (probably not though because that can be dangerous sometimes)

anyway, i hope this helps in some way, and i hope you overcome everything because you deserve it :)

John (not verified) says...

I have been and continue to be on this journey of self awareness for about 20 years- I've been to 12 step programs, counseling, read countless books and studied many different spiritual paths. As a true INFP, I've got a pretty good plan for a successful happy life through self awareness and improvement- the keys are honesty and willingness to change.If your life is going poorly, it needs to be rebuilt. I am more than happy to discuss what simple concepts changed me from a homeless heroin addict to a successful business owner living a happy life. It's not rocket science, and I thrive on helping others. Please reply if I can encourage or give anyone some suggestions about what tools may change your life. Best of lock to you all! -John 

Harry X (not verified) says...

Hi John, love your story and would like to hear more from you about how you find the way of happiness as an infp. Is there anyway we can connect to discuss more? 
 

harry

Zeynep Nida (not verified) says...

Ben 20 yaşındayım ve hergün sürekli düşüncelerim değişiyor, bu beni dağınık duygulara sürüklüyor, ne yapacağımı bilmiyorum, zaten bu arabulucu kişilik tipi %4 oranında bulunuyormuş o yüzden insanların beni anlaması zor. Keşke bizi gerçekten anlayabilecek kişilerle bir arada olsak ve eminim birçoğumuzun isteği bu. 😟

Rob. (not verified) says...

Hi John, that sounds very interesting and i am curious what helped you on your way. Can you share your concepts with us?

Mary.sidad (not verified) says...

Is making animation a suitable job for an infp ?

Johnana (not verified) says...

Hi there,

I'm a 22 year old french girl, INFP as well and seeing the way you guys interact with each others gave me the motivation and desire to share a bit about my situation with you.

I'm currently living in Paris, working at a job that doesn't make me feel happy, doesn't reflect my values and who I am as well as who I want to become, I don't feel like it's helping me grow as a person. On a side note, I'm also dealing with a breakup, we were together for four years but it was on and off, a very complicated relationship which ended up being toxic for the both of us and that's why we had to stop it (in August this year) but it's really hard and even though I know what we shared wasn't pure love, I'm still emotionally attached to him.

Anyway, my main issue here is my career situation and I can feel that I'm going down day after day. I struggle to get up in the morning, I've lost my appetite, I'm forcing myself to be someone that I'm not at work so I don't attract the look of others on me and I can fit easier in the environment. Just for the record I work in an office with a small team made of 6 girls and I do a bit of HR and administrative stuff and the mentality is all about making money of course! Hate it. The thing is I don't really know what I want to do, I'm scared of the future and it's killing me not to have a project for myself which is constructive and that will make me happy. I'm craving some positive movement in my life. And let me tell you that living in Paris is not a dream, my lifestyle is far from being healthy and stable, what we say: métro, boulot, dodo is true! I get up, go to work, come back late, barely have the time to eat and it's already time to go to bed. Everything is so expensive like you just paid your rent and you're already broke haha.

I'm seeing a therapist to help me figure out what I want to do with my life but if anyone has some advice to give or wants to share a similar experience please feel free to do so. Also, if anyone lives in Paris I'd be more than happy to meet you :)

Thank you very much for your attention.

Johanna

Rajeev (not verified) says...

Hi 

I am not a therapist or something. Just a fellow INFP who is constantly in fight with most of the feelings that u mentioned. What hit me hard is how our lives go so plain without a motive. Its not a bad thing. Good realization makes us have a better outlook on life and to have better goals. Btw, im not from paris. I presently live in the middle of the ocean. You can write me though, if you feel lonely.

My email is rajeevsunset@gmail.com

Dont suffer in silence. 🙂. I wish you good luck

Zeerik (not verified) says...

Hi Johanna, Let me add my few cents here... As you have already figured out that you are an INFP, that is a good starting point. The work conditions and feelings that you have shared completely resonate with the INFP types. That means you are not in the right workplace. As you may know, INFPs are not a good fit for office jobs. (they are not job people). Originally they are artists at heart. And they like to express themselves in whatever form they want, writing, talking, visuals, etc.

I clearly see that you have a marvelous talent for writing. Just by expressing a few words in a few paragraphs, your writing skills are very obvious, you can write well and can communicate well with others. This is one of your talents, as I see it. Perhaps you may try some more activities in other artistic fields as well. Doing a 9-5 job in an office will certainly drain you and unfortunately, you may not reach anywhere and may have burnout that may further worsen. You need to work on finding the right work first, all other things can automatically fall in place when you will start loving your work. But the practical suggestion is don't quit before you find another work, please. And by the way, let me also clear the myth. loving the work ideally again does not always mean you love every moment of it, sometimes, you also feel some pressures and deadlines in your chosen field as well. like the singer has to rehearse a lot, the actor has to work hard on her skills etc. But the overarching thing is that it should be the right career.

I normally tend to divide people into three categories i.e. Job people, Entrepreneur people, and Artist people. If an artist person starts doing a 9-5 job, he or she cannot be ever satisfied and vice versa. MBTI definitely helps us all in our self-discovery better.

Regarding your personal life, being INFP, probably you need to have a person who at least should have the 'P' in common. Ideally, ESFP, as I see it. but a few other types with NF can also make you feel great. This MBTI types detailed discussion may not hold good for this limited space somehow...Such a person should complement and supplement you where you lack and can also make you feel great at the same time.

In every relationship, the simple test perhaps is that you should be able to spend good quality time with some good laughs. You should feel a bit of unwinding and relaxing... not the other way around. That can simply provide you a better answer to yourself. But when you are trying to improve life, 'work' and 'relationship' are the two most important areas because we have to live with them for a very long time. (of course, health is a pre-requisite too).

As I see it, you are already on the right track to getting self-awareness of what is happening internally and externally in your life. You are closer to resolve and improve all the areas of your life soon. This is how I see it from here. I have 25+ years of corporate life experience mainly focusing on 'process improvement coaching' but now I am innovatively using the techniques on 'life coaching as well. I will be delighted wherever I can help and add value. I wish you good luck in everything you do in life.

Tim D. (not verified) says...

Johanna,

I hope that what I went through helps you.  Remember that you are never alone.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6caj7E2wODs&t=1s

Love and Peace,

Tim

ILoveCats (not verified) says...

Hello Johanna I hope you're having a great day, 

 

I'm really happy that you decided to share your journey with all of us and I'm really proud that all of us naturally decided to help each other even though we're all complete strangers.

 

I don't really know how to start a topic lol but I kinda got an advice for you not sure if it will work but I'll try.

Here is my thoughts: start by saving small amounts of money every month no matter how small it is and start your own project if that won't work how about you try trading and investing?

you could also translate from your own language to english or the opposite if you're that good at it, moreover you can start your own website too t.

 

all what I wrote up you could consider doing on your days off that is if you want to lol I'm bad at giving advices.

 

Also I sincerely think that you are a good person I truly do you deserve more than what you're given and from what I read thingsare expensive in paris that makes me kind of sad for all the people from there and all people in general since the world isn't fair.

 

I know I'm awkward excuse me for that I haven't communicated alot since childhood, I'm always quiet so I don't really know how to talk or give advices.

 

I too don't know what to do I'm lost really I just chose my career based just because it's my mom's job and I don't really know what to do so we're on the same boat on that.

 

I dont have many advices forgive me and if you want to start changing for the better please start by small things, no one can change that fast I will tell you that.

 

You could start by appreciating whatever good happened to you or to a person you good to no matter how small, or change your routine but slowly of course by waking in the morning early and doing stretches.

 

Or eat breakfast and remember everytime you've been good to yourself start by reminding yourself of it like "I ate breakfast today" "I ate today" "I woke up early today" It works like magic believe me.

 

Sorry this is a long comment isn't it? I apologize  if I wasn't helpful or if I said anything offensive..

 

You seem like a nice person btw I'm happy that you had the courage to do this.

 

Lots of love and bye

 

Johnana (not verified) says...

Hi ILoveCats, (I personally love dogs more than cats haha)

Thank you so so much for your message! You made my evening!

I don't really care that we're all strangers, what counts is the fact that we're all human beings, we share our experiences with each others with respect and love and just to show some support means a lot. It can also have a really positive impact on others. Stronger together. Isn't that the point ? To share without fear, to love without judging and to respect one another.

You're far from being awkward, I can honestly tell you that while I was reading your message I could feel my heart melting. Your advice, your compliments and your honesty just brought warmth within me.

I wonder who's not lost these days... 

It wasn't a long comment don't worry about it, you just expressed yourself and you said what you had to say freely and I'm really happy with it :)

You seem like a nice person too and I hope we'll get the chance to share more :)

 

Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you,

Johanna 

ILoveCats (not verified) says...

Good day to you Johanna, I'm very glad that I made your evening honestly oh and also I love dogs but not as cats.

 

I very much agree with you on your thoughts and yes your point is true, I like that some of us share our thoughts, fears and dreams with each other and I love that we don't get judged on that because these days it's all about people judging and commenting rudely without knowing the person, hate is all over the internet for no reason even if the person is being completely honest and pure with intentions but alas envy and greed exist in every one of us so I can't say I didn't expect that.

 

Thank god I'd hate to be awkward when I'm trying to help you and I'm truly overjoyed that I did something for you :)

 

Yeah, most of us are lost these days and I'm upset about that sadly, most people aren't happy with their choices and jobs or life.

 

Oh great to know that it wasn't long and I'm pleased to know you, also if my comment made your evening then yours made mine.

 

Yeah, I hope for that too :).

 

Merry christmas and a happy new year to you too! Have a great day and goodbye. 

Johnana (not verified) says...

Hey,

Happy new year !! I hope you had a lovely Christmas and that 2020 ended on a positive note !

If you wish to talk more, here is my email address: johanna46340@gmail.com

I wasn't sure about it but then I thought why not, it won't hurt and it's 2021 now haha

Talk later,

Johanna

Emmalalala (not verified) says...

Hey ! J'ai l'impression de bien comprendre ce que tu ressents. Déjà, je sais que c'est très simple à dire, mais tu es encore jeune (j'ai 23 ans haha donc je dis ça parce que j'essaye de m'appliquer ce conseil depuis peu de temps -- et c'est franchement libérateur), et tu n'es pas coincée dans ce que tu fais actuellement. D'ailleurs à tout age, on n'est jamais coincé. Surtout que j'imagine que tu n'as pas d'enfant, enfin je me trompe peut-etre. Mais ce que je veux te dire c'est que tout d'abord, si c'est quelque chose qui te tente, tu as le droit de reprendre/commencer des études, c'est loin d'être trop tard, et surtout que je pense qu'à 22 ans avec une expérience dans le monde du travail notre maturité est bien plus développée qu'à la sortie du bac. Autrement, si ce n'est pas ce que tu veux, tu as toujours le droit de prendre le temps de trouver ce qui te plait (même en parallèle de tes études) en discutant avec d'autres personnes, en parlant avec des genre de conseiller(e)s d'orientation (souvent tu peux en aller voir gratuitement dans des centres universitaires, et ils sont peu regardants -- d'après mon expérience -- sur ton statut étudiant ou non). Enfin bref ce qui compte le plus c'est que tu n'est pas coincée,  ni dans ton travail, ni dans ta ville d'ailleurs. Je ne connais pas ta situation familiale ou autre mais on n'est jamais coincé, peut etre que changer de ville, d'air pourrait te faire du bien, trouver un job peut etre moins prenant, prendre du temps pour toi, d'adonner à la contemplation ou quelque chose qui te permets de te recentrer sur toi.. Mais tu es libre Johanna, et puis tu m'as l'air d'avoir une tete plutot bien faite et d'être jeune donc ne te mets pas de barrière ;)

Emma

Johnana (not verified) says...

Hey Emma,

Merci infiniment d'avoir pris le temps de lire mon message et d'avoir répondu ! Cela me va droit au coeur !

Je suis consciente que 22 ans c'est jeune et qu'il ne faut pas que je me sente déjà coincée à cet âge surtout que je n'ai pas d'enfants, je ne suis pas mariée, je ne suis certes pas coincée dans ce sens là mais je me sens "coincée" intérieurement.

J'ai un parcours assez atypique mais je ne vais pas rentrer dans les détails sinon on n'a pas fini de parler avant un moment je pense haha.

Je te remercie énormement pour ton support, tes compliments, et juste le fait d'avoir eu l'intention de me répondre et de vouloir m'aider veut dire beaucoup et ça me touche profondément.

Je te souhaite de très belles fêtes de fin d'année et à bientôt peut-être :)

Johanna 

Hell lit (not verified) says...

Heya..

I need to talk about my anxiety issues with my parents but I don't know how to do that. Any help?

John (not verified) says...

Calm, well thought out, honest conversation is very difficult for people to be resentful or angry when you come to them honestly. I have 3 young children, and what I want from them the most is to understand that they can always come to me and anger will not be my initial reaction. You may be surprised about how well received your conversation is if you stay honest and focused. If that is too difficult, write a letter,but keep it about you and your feelings- do not attack them, even if they deserve it. Read your letter a few times before you give it to them. Check your spelling and grammar- be honest and professional. Let me know and I can recommend a few books that may be helpful 

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