INFJ
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The INFJ Personality Type

INFJs are creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.

The Counselor has a unique ability to intuit others' emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it himself. They trust their insights about others and have strong faith in their ability to read people. Although they are sensitive, they are also reserved; the INFJ is a private sort, and is selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.

Are you an INFJ?

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What does INFJ stand for?

INFJ is one of the sixteen personality types created by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. INFJ is an acronym for the personality traits of Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, and Judging. The INFJ type is also called the "Counselor" and is described as idealistic, compassionate, and sensitive.

Each of the four letters of the INFJ code signifies a key personality trait of this type. INFJs are energized by time alone (Introverted), focus on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), make decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling) and prefer to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging).

INFJ Values and Motivations

INFJs are guided by a deeply considered set of personal values. They are intensely idealistic, and can clearly imagine a happier and more perfect future. They can become discouraged by the harsh realities of the present, but they are typically motivated and persistent in taking positive action nonetheless. The INFJ feels an intrinsic drive to do what they can to make the world a better place.

INFJs want a meaningful life and deep connections with other people. They do not tend to share themselves freely but appreciate emotional intimacy with a select, committed few. Although their rich inner life can sometimes make them seem mysterious or private to others, they profoundly value authentic connections with people they trust.

How Others See the INFJ

INFJs often appear quiet, caring and sensitive, and may be found listening attentively to someone else’s ideas or concerns. They are highly perceptive about people and want to help others achieve understanding. INFJs are not afraid of complex personal problems; in fact, they are quite complex themselves, and have a rich inner life that few are privy to. They reflect at length on issues of ethics, and feel things deeply. Because Counselors initially appear so gentle and reserved, they may surprise others with their intensity when one of their values is threatened or called into question. Their calm exterior belies the complexity of their inner worlds.

Because INFJs are such complex people, they may be reluctant to engage with others who might not understand or appreciate them, and can thus be hard to get to know. Although they want to get along with others and support them in their goals, they are fiercely loyal to their own system of values and will not follow others down a path that does not feel authentic to them. When they sense that their values are not being respected, or when their intuition tells them that someone’s intentions are not pure, they are likely to withdraw.

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How rare is the INFJ personality type?

INFJ is the rarest type in the population. It is the least common type among men, and the third least common among women (after INTJ and ENTJ). INFJs make up:

  • 2% of the general population
  • 2% of women
  • 1% of men

Famous INFJs

Famous INFJs include Mohandas Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Emily Bronte, Carl Jung, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Florence Nightingale, Shirley MacLaine, Jimmy Carter, and Edward Snowden.

INFJ Quotes

"The visions of the INFJs tend to concern human welfare, and their contributions are likely to be made independent of a mass movement."

- Isabel Briggs Myers, Gifts Differing

"These seclusive and friendly people are complicated themselves, and so can understand and deal with complex ethical issues and with deeply troubled individuals."

- David Keirsey, Please Understand Me II

"INFJs' nonstop search for learning, self-growth, and development—and wishing the same for everyone else—makes them very reassuring to others and people worth emulating."

- Otto Kroeger, Type Talk at Work

Facts about INFJs

Interesting facts about the INFJ:

  • Least common type in the population
  • On personality trait scales, scored as Sincere, Sympathetic, Unassuming, Submissive, Easygoing, Reserved and Patient
  • Among highest of all types in college GPA
  • Among most likely to stay in college
  • Most likely of all types to cope with stress by seeing a therapist
  • Highest of all types in marital dissatisfaction
  • Personal values include Spirituality, Learning, and Community Service
  • Commonly found in careers in religion, counseling, teaching, and the arts

Source: MBTI Manual

INFJ Hobbies and Interests

Popular hobbies for the INFJ include writing, art appreciation, cultural events, reading, socializing in small, intimate settings, and playing or listening to music.

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Comments

BFM (not verified) says...

Everything you said is on point for how I would describe my life. 

Y C. (not verified) says...

Hey there Adrienne M.

I can totally relate to that intuition you speak off. 

Glad to know i ain't alone lol

Alegra (not verified) says...

One more thing: Carl Jung's research (the research upon which MBTIs are based) was done by observing others, while the MBTI test results are based largely on how one sees oneself. A person's test results can be wrong and unreliable for this exact reason.  For one, we see ourselves through rose-colored glasses; that is, we always see ourselves as better than we actually are or different than we actually are, and that bias alone can skew MBTI test results. If you are completely honest with yourself about how you behave the majority of the time, then your test results will be more accurate. When I first discovered I was an INFJ I was confused because I had always seen myself as a bubbly extrovert. Yes, I had very intense periods of introversion when I felt mentally exhausted from socialization, but I had always genuinely loved people so I always thought I was an extrovert. (Side note: INFJs can sometimes be mistaken for extroverts, and other Fe types can also sometimes be confused for INFJs.) But like I said, how we see ourselves is different from how we actually are. When I took my MBTI test, I had never heard of MBTIs, and I had no motivation to take it other than I and to learn; so I was completely honest in my answers, because in true INFJ fashion I couldn't stand to get an inauthentic result. I ended up with an INFJ result and that was 15 years ago, which leads me to my next last comment:

Our perception of ourselves changes over time as we become more honest with ourselves (or for some, more deluded) about who we are. It is for this reason that I re-take the MBTI test every year. My advice for getting the most accurate test result would be to answer the questions honestly as to how you have behaved the majority of your life, not how you see yyor best/your highest self or how you wish you could be. 

Much love xoxo

Alegra (not verified) says...

In 2005 I discovered I am an INFJ. In 2009, I discovered the love of my life is an INTJ. He and I are no longer together, but in every way I can say that he is the only one who truly understood me, or at least understood me more than anyone else ever could. We had our share of misunderstandings, to be sure, but out of all of the relationships and friendships I've had in my life, he was the one who had more understanding of me than anyone else. He was studying MBTIs long before they became trendy, which is probably why he understood me so well. I regret we are not together anymore, I truly believe he is my soul mate; but life isn't perfect and sometimes things don't work out no matter how much you want them to.

I am remarried now, to an ISFP. He's a great guy, but there really isn't much depth to him as far as what an INFJ considers deep. We don't talk about much beyond the superficial because with him there is no "beyond" to talk about. His mind stays on his job, period. Our marriage isn't unhappy by any means, I just wish I could have deeper, more meaningful conversations and experiences with him.

One thing I will say, though, is that INFJs don't typically try to fit in. Trying to fit in is against our very nature. So if you find yourself trying to fit in and follow others, you may need to re-take your MBTI test. INFJs hate inauthenticity and phonies. We forge our own paths and we refuse to follow others if it is not authentic to who we are. I am my fully authentic self at all times and always have been. Yes, that means I have never fit in, but who ever does? The key difference between INFJs and other types is that we enjoy not fitting in. We embrace our otherness as a way to advocate for others who feel the same.

I have been studying MBTIs since 2005, so for what it's worth, please keep in mind that no one is just one singular type. We all possess different degrees of each and every type. My dominant type is INFJ, but even introverts have extroverted aspects to their personalities. This article claims to go "in-depth" and yet it does not even touch on the individual aspects of the type, like the Se, for example. So this article by sheer definition is not in-depth, and the author of this article has lied by falsely claiming so.

My point: do your research. Do 15 years' worth of research and then you'll see this article is in no way in-depth. I recently read another INFJ article that claims that Taylor Swift is an INFJ, which couldn't be more untrue. Just be wary of all the BS articles out there. Some of them claim that INFJs are "easily hurt", which again, couldn't be more untrue. I am my fully authentic self at all times regarding my general personality, but just like every other INFJ, I don't share my deepest most intimate feelings and thoughts with everyone, only a select few.  The idea we are easily hurt would imply a level of intimacy with others that we simply don't have because we are so selective with whom we share our minds. It is this type of erroneous information that misleads others to have a skewed understanding of INFJs. Just be cautious.

Much love xoxo

ANGELA D. EWING (not verified) says...

What an awesome article and love your response! I didn't realize I'm an INFJ until a few years ago; I'm 55. I definitely share most of the experiences that folks related here. I am divorced now, and am happy single. I realize that it's OK to be single! My ex is an Iraqi Muslim, so lots of differences that tore us apart, but personality - wise, we were also on different playing fields. I see that now, I wish I had realized it back then.  He "understood" me better than most, but didn't really act much on it. He is also superficial and gregarious, has lots of friends, loves being the center of attention. Drove me crazy. I felt like I was in his shadow, and even for an INFJ, that's not OK. We got along in many ways, but unfortunately, the differences in religion and culture plus my need for depth in a relationship and his superficiality broke us apart in the end. At least we have a great 12-yr-old son now. LOL!

Guest (not verified) says...

On your point about the article, I personally feel that the point of the article is just to give the general and overarching view of what an INFJ is. It is not to describe in full, unwithheld clarity and depth, the subtle nuances that make an INFJ an INTJ. MBTI can be an excellent guage of what your personality is, or provide quite an accurate idea of it. However, like you mentioned, no one fits fully into one catagory. We are a conglamoration of different experiences and beliefs, coalesced into an idea we call our personality. Psychology can merely scratch the surface of this intricate and complex concept, and the idea that you fit exactly in one of just 16 personalities is ludicrous. In the end, MBTI is what most do in their free time out of curiousity, and we shouldn't prosecute or condemn the lack of knowledge some people have of the issue. Instead, I personally think we should be welcoming, and encourage instead of coerce people to study more deeply into the subject, rather than do it for fun, as a form of entertainment. I apologise if this was strongly worded, no offense was intended. I just felt the need to defend casual, passing interest in MBTI, which is often devalued and denounced by more stounched supporters of the MBTI or behavioral psychology.

Infj (not verified) says...

What if i took the test and the result is always INFJ. I sometimes try to fit in but ended up failed. And you mentioned that trying to fit in is not INFJ. How is that possible? 

Gandalfbutfemale (not verified) says...

I agree so much with EVERYTHING you said. Coming from a (definite) infj. I especially agree with what you said about authenticity. For me it comes before all else. Forging my own path has always been the way I am. Even if I don't fit in. Actually I can't remember the last time I fit in but I must honestly say I love it. Also our Intuition is off the charts. That's why I think it's sometimes hard for us to find a partner who truly understands us because what is considered 'deep' for others is for us just a scratch on the surface. How I see it is we are (for the most part) content loners, dreamers and idealists with very strong ideas and vivid inner worlds that we only share with a (trusted) selected few. 

Sajra (not verified) says...

I am an INFJ and I do get hurt easily, or better said offended. I am overly sensitive and when someone says something about me it sticks with me and I end up thinking about for weeks, months... You are right about me (as an INFJ) not having many (or any) intimate relationships but I still do get often offended and called "too sensitive" by people around me. You say this is not an INFJ trait? Does that mean I am not an INFJ?

LaRo (not verified) says...

No, this is true for me as well... I am an INFJ and am "way too sensitive" (as my father would put it). Things my manager says to me sticks with me forever, and I chew on it over and over asking myself how I can be better. Things my family or friends think of me weigh on me as well. They just don't get me... no one really has. And I don't have many close relationships because people don't tend to ask me out as a friend. They open up to me and find they trust me with their emotional issues, but when it comes to hanging out, I'm not usually first on the list. Growing up, I have always felt isolated and diffrernt from others--like I didn't fit in. And I had no idea why. I couldn't comprhend it. I was nice, considerate, thoughtful, caring, but none of that mattered somehow. Like I was on a different wavelength. I could understand the intracacies of a person's facial expression, or could see in their eyes how they were hurting, or stressed, or lying, or afraid. Cruelty was infuriating and intolerable, and I wasn't afraid to call it out, even as a child. I think I tried to fit in a few times growing up, but it ever worked, and i never felt like myself--so eventually I gave up. People didn't include me when I tried to fit in or when I stuck out, yet they came to me for my listening ears.

CB (not verified) says...

100%.  And as a male, it's even harder...

Pietra (not verified) says...

I agree. Many people who see me or know me superficially could assume or place me in the category of people with INFJ personality, while I also took this test a few times for a few years and the result was different from what I believed. Anyways, lesson to learn we need to stop making assumptions ;)

Pietra (not verified) says...

One advice to everyone that searches for this type of information: do your research right, or your information will be biased. Look for the SOURCE of the information, many websites follow the same pattern and what you read might not be true, you never know. It might take some time, but you will learn :)

Dlora (not verified) says...

I hate that I got INFJ-T as a result. For the past 3 years I felt I needed a career change after working in the legal field as a paralegal for 3 years in California. I hated the repetitive monotonous work I did, especially the attorneys I was surrounded with. Nothing ever changed, and the only thing I liked or preffered was the budget development work, because I like seeing how thing grow and change, and pick out patterns that I can anlyze and point out to my boss - in this case, what services or tasks needed more or less emphasis. So I don't know how to interpret a test result that says I could be good working as an advocate for others....I Reeeeeally don't care what others think or do or say, and their status in society-- or their perceived damages or worries--- have absolutely no relevance or bearing in the grand scheme of things. 

I guess the test was enlightening in understanding that I am introverted, that I am heavily intuitive, that I tend to "judge" people, (or, I rather cut through the B.S and say things for what they are); and that I do definitely want to meet people and share rich life-changing experiences. One thing I want to do is travel around the world and learn new cultures. California, and the whole U.S.A for that matter, is only a glimpse of what life can truly be. Places like Southeast Asia, Australia, Europe, or Africa would seem like places that nurture the soul and make you connect with the world around you.

I hope that if you are still reading this you know that your passions and interests override anything and everyone surrounding you. I also think that happiness is relative to your existence, and that all the things people attach themselves towards--like race, religion, culture, education, career, job security--are an absolutle waste of time. You are your own best version of yourself. Make it happen, or at least try it. Don't settle for what others think is the easy way out, or the expected route. Make this life worth living and live in the moment. CARPE DIEM Cheers everyone!

Alegra (not verified) says...

The judging aspect of an INFJ does not mean you judge other people. It means you are able to quickly and aptly assess a situation. That does not mean we are judgmental of others, it means we can quickly discern what is authentic and true from what is not, which is "cutting through the BS" as you said; but we are not judgmental of others in the sense that we condemn others for their differences. You have that interpretation all wrong.

Gy (not verified) says...

I wonder if you are INTJ and not INFJ

Ms. Anonymous (not verified) says...

If she says she's and INFJ, she's an INFJ. What's with others questioning other people's test results? If you do, at least provide some reasoning. As for the comment about jobs, I can relate 100%. I work in the very stressful field of public accounting and I also enjoy finding patterns and watching things grow. If it weren't for financial obligations I would definitely be what I'm meant to be: a philosopher! Thanks for your comment. Maybe one day I'll be bold enough to pursue it!

Miss Anonymity 2.0 (not verified) says...

Jeez girl. So prickly. It's not like they were accusing her of not being an INFJ. They were just offering another possibility. And honestly, mistyping happens a lot within MBTI. 

Heeeey! I'm also in the field of accounting (I would say "Woo!!" but it's not really a "woo" thing). Except I just help the firm with admin assistant work which is incredibly draining. 

I thought I was an INTJ for a while, but it was because I was so emotionally drained that I literally felt like a rock inside. I didn't care about anything or anyone. My emotions felt like they left me (and I've always been highly in tune with my emotions since childhood). The only emotion I was able to connect to anymore was irritation and anger. 

When INFJs are under a lot of stress they can react by entering into their other functions. For me, I went into Ti mode. Just intense introverted thinking with no Fe whatsoever. I feel way more balanced now but it was an interesting process to go through. How stressed are you on a daily basis? That could be changing your functional stack and how you deal with the world.

Anyway, I gotta go but I love this comments section. 

Aditya Mane (not verified) says...

Hey, i saw most of your posts and found they were pretty interesting..
If anyone wants to connect, you're welcome here.
Lemme know.
PS: Hope all of you are happy and in peace right now:)

Aroofa (not verified) says...

Hi, It will be nice to make new friends whom I can relate to.

Eka Putri (not verified) says...

Maybe, INFJ is one of the complex character i ever met in the world. No one, i meet, have the closest thoughts as mine. And i have more interest around mental health and already counseling and diagnosed with adjustment disorder. Sometimes, my mind speak too much, as i havent speak about it and insomnia is my best friends. And i sometimes hate conflicts too, as they mentioned above, everytime me and my bf, repeat the same mistakes, i really hate for that. Keeping the peace, yoga and meditating in my own world is also my personal favorite. Oh, i forgot perfume and flowers. I love and enjoy seeing and smelling something beautiful. 

 

Channy (not verified) says...

Same. Many times I feel like I can relate to some many people, but none really understand me easily. 

Kelvin (not verified) says...

You know the feeling when you know that you can never be real with anyone in your life? Well, that's how I've been most of my life. Ever since I was a kid I always got that feeling that no one really ever understood me and I didn't know why. I got to high school and I hated myself for never actually fitting in, to the point that I felt like I was better off not alive. It seemed like I was always a third wheel even with my childhood friends. I didn't know what to do so I ended up shutting everyone out. I looked for reasons why I was always like that till I found this website on personality types. I accepted who I am but now it feels like the old wounds are opening up again. I tried to reconnect with some of my old friends but I still feel like no matter how hard I try or how much I try to change I'll never feel like I belong. It usually seems odd for a guy to feel this type of stuff but I guess this may be the only place I can just say what's on my mind without having to wonder what others will think.

Maria 000 (not verified) says...

I hope you read this someday. I am also an INFJ and I never felt understood. As a child it’s easier to make friends and even tho I only had like a 2 or 3 close friends during my childhood, I never gave it much importance. But then cane high school and Idk about you but I dont want anything more than to be understood, and I feel like I can understand exactly what you said. I’ve always been third wheeling in high school, never fit in, unable to express the huge amount of ideas and feelings in my head but desperately wanting to. I also shut everyone out because I need someone to start the conversation for me and someone to feel comfortable around so I ended up isolated and wanting to die. I still deal with suicidal thoughts but slowly getting better and happening less often as I look to other goals in life and hope for meeting some one, a “soul mate” or something which can actually make sense of my life and find the place where I belong

Bahaar (not verified) says...

Yes I have just read this and it is beautiful and sad at the same time. But you are not alone my dear friend. We INFJs are all with you and will wish only the best of happiness for you.

 

 

Asuna (not verified) says...

that feeling.. that you can never be real with somebody. The most scary feeling is that you can never open up yourself. I always all the time ask myself why I can't be just like other people.

Salome (not verified) says...

You have to have harmony with yourself and make everyone fuck off from your beloved mind. People must be outside, then you can go to them and have fun, with flesh. Soul belongs to you. Cut them out. 

blueapple (not verified) says...

WOAAAAAAH I can highly relate to your comment bruh. Sometimes, I feel like I'm being fake to people even when I'm not trying to be fake.

Swatinegi (not verified) says...

I really agree with you... Feeling like a third wheel since forever, since amongst the kindergarten I think. Also to feel that bI can never be real to anyone. Exactly. I have been with my ENTP bf for 4 years and we get along well yet I feel I am not and can never be fully real to him. I will be to complex to understand. I tried to change, mix up but the more I do the more I feel as if I am denying truth to myself. Let me know if you would wish to connect.

runcold (not verified) says...

you sound just like  me and yeah i know how it feels like to have such feeling when you are a man and i am going through it right now my parents always forcing me to socialize and its not that i dont try i do try but everytime it actually ends up draining my energy to the lowest and i feel like the outcast ive never ever met anyone in my life who thinks like me and i wish someday i will but no matter how hard i try i just can not change what i am ... hope i could meet you someday

Celine (not verified) says...

It's part of growing up and it's amazing how you're so fully aware and willing to understand yourself. That's a crucial and important step to then pave a better path. I felt the same way when I was younger and as I get older I realize I get wiser because of the tough questions and challenges faced. You'll use that wisdom to make good decisions in the future. Keep going. Sometimes what makes you unique can be a strength. Take the time to learn about yourself and embrace you!

Angelica07 (not verified) says...

Same here! I can't easily connect with anyone, there's always a wall between me and everybody, even with the people closest to me. I feel like I have different versions of myself when I face different people and it's exhausting sometimes. I often wondered why I'm like this but when I found out I'm INFJ and had a deeper understanding of my personality, it felt less weird. We're just not the same with the rest and we're not just different, we're peculiar. I no longer have to force myself to fit in, I quite enjoy this uniqueness that most people don't understand. INFJ minds are extraordinary, we see through things and we go beyond normal, we have a deeper understanding of everyone and everything, our brains work like crazy - we're on a different wavelength! Shutting out people for us is normal and necessary, we feel so much and we see so much in people, having to deal with many is way too much for us. Socializing is just optional and not necessary, most of the time we tend to avoid it. We seek deeper connections, peace, and harmony. Being an INFJ is a gift, embrace it.

WillyWonka (not verified) says...

Not that it's even important personally. But as an INFJ male and having obligations to earn and make the big bucks for a larger cause, it really sucks to know that we generally earn less because of our darn personalities.

Not having self hate, but I guess I just gotta grind and do better

Aamir Hafiz (not verified) says...

Hey dude, I know how you feel. I'm a 30 year old INFJ-T male. I've struggled my whole life to know myself and others around me. I always felt different but never truly realised it until I got to my teens and seen how different I was. For the last 15 years (yes half my life) i have tried to understand my self from the perspective of psychology, religion and spirituality and have found answers in all of them. The reality of it is, they all confirm i am different and supposed to be different. Einstein was different and few could match his intelligence. He was different and so are we (though we aren't necessarily smart like him).
 

The point is, careers and jobs have been the biggest set back. What comes easy and logical to most people was hell for me. I struggled to make sense of the job system, i hated corporate life and still do. So i became a psychologist but wanted to open my own practice. I am still new to self employment and its hard work because it involves a lot of marketing. I have always struggled with making money. People find ways of seling their skillset whereas I've found hard to do that with little success. My parents were upset with me too not knowing how to help me, I've had anxiety my whole life and its only through therapy over the last few years ive managed to control it. No medication ever. Proud of that. I've also had a stutter since i was 10 and its never left me. In my teens it got so bad I couldn't say my name or speak and had frequent blocks, no sound would come from my mouth and it was agony. I wanted to hide from everyone. I still stutter and i hate it when clients have certain names I can't say because i stutter so bad that people think im crazy, it kills me inside. But i am educated and intelligent enough. Such paradoxes. I wish i could go to a jungle and live with a tribe doing manual work. No university, no fees, no taxes, no bills, no job applications, no rat race. But i have to live in this world in a city full of unaware people. 
 

i get your struggle my friend, i am not there 100% to tell you about success myself. Once i get there i can share my tidbits. People my age have thousands in the banks whereas in lucky if i have a couple grand at any one time. Being an INFJ means you only do what suits your higher aims and anything less is futile. Thats been my achilles heel thats kept me from being financially successful. If anyone knows how they countered this please let me know. I would be ever grateful to pass the knowledge on. 

AnomalousExistence (not verified) says...

I have to oppose (I am INFJ-A), harness well your potentials, you will not only make big bucks, but you will help a lot of people. You will feel valued, and you will shift the life of other people with your talents. I am not the only INFJ who is becoming a victim of being too successful. 

Kathleen Anne (not verified) says...

I'm trying to work out my career - do you think INFJ's can make it as business leaders?

Peter (not verified) says...

Definitely. I've done it for people.  It was the most lonesome time of my life though.  So get in.grab your money and get back to loving😉

maxioosLP (not verified) says...

as an INFJ-A yes, follow what you're here for, you're successful in whatever you're into, for years i couldn't settle down with a regular career or job and instead i fought and struggled to start up my own path and business, and i somehow had my business vision not only to get financially better but to help others, helping others bring you just and recognition thus success 

Regina (not verified) says...

So I finally found where I belong to...Totally same story!!and I got to read about the dark sides of INFJ’s personality too ...I was surprised to know about the Zodiac signs too,at least it’s cool knowing I’m not all that weird...I’m still normal!!

Female intj (not verified) says...

Really confused by these tests. I had to take the test after having had a Burn-out and looking for another job (I really don't want to go that deep anymore in my entire life). The result was Intj but even though I recognise myself in great parts the part saying I am not tactful and often hurt people with my straight forwardness set me to tears for days. I couldn't sleep at night. Doesn't feel right. The test only asked how you behave at your workplace but is it possible you can teach yourself to act a certain way in order to protect yourself? I am not afraid to speak my mind in meetings and I do get an impatient feeling when meetings take hours without ever reaching a conclusion. But when I speak my mind in a rational way it is only because I learned the hard way that if you don't want people to walk all over you in a highly competitive (male dominated) field (as women are underrepresented in managent functions) you have to speak up and sound as logical as possible so they would not see your true feelings (because showing emotions would come over as weakness). I always focussed on the content and tried to reach a consensus' although I could be very firm when I saw people would get hurt by the decisions others are about to make or when a decision was really contradictory to my personal values. No wonder I ended up with a burn out, faking all the time to be someone I was not. Unfortunately my job coach relies only on the result of the test and is trying to push me into the field of pure logic where I feel I will end up being completely miserable again. 

Male INFJ (not verified) says...

I would urge you to reflect on what you want. Start by forming it into a question. (e.g. Why I am confused?) Then turn it into a statement. (e.g. I feel confused because I want to know why I need to protect myself.)

I cannot tell you how you feel or think, because only you can truly know that, and I fear this message will not reach you because I see a lot of blaming others for your confusion—job coach, men, fields, workplaces. I can't blame you for your displacement; your feelings are real, and I can sense your distress, which is manifesting in unhealthy patterns, causing more distress. You may even be triggered that I am admitting that I'm a male. But please see my reflection and consider that the pain you feel now in reflection will be better than the pain you feel later.

Here it is: I see someone who has an irrational fear of protecting themselves when it isn't always needed. I see someone hurting from things that happened to her in the past, someone replaying the same story because it feels safe even if self-sabotaging. I see someone who needs to fight what popular culture calls "inner demons" or else other people will have to teach her through strong boundaries with her. I see someone who needs to acknowledge that the first step off a downward spiral of low confidence, passivity, failure, and shame, is to acknowledge these bad feelings as natural.

You are an imperfect but beautiful individual. You aren't to blame for what happened in your past, but you are responsible for what you do with it in the present. Here is a great resource: https://thewellnesssociety.org/

INFJ MALE (not verified) says...

Thank you. I'm an infj with cptsd so sadly I've gone dark. Idk who you are but thank you your words inspired me. I'm not giving up never have and never will. Just sometimes it's tough to keep fighting yourself day in and day out. What you wrote truly resonated and I hope others find your kind words.

Aurora (not verified) says...

Hi,I am a fellow INFJ.I have recently discovered that.Before I knew that I am actually an INFJ I used to feel like the only weird human out there.Like I talk to myself all the time in my head and play out scenerios and incidents (even rn I am talking to myself if I should write this or not lol).This is so serious sometimes that I even considered seeing a psychologist to check if I am crazy.Sometimes I overthink and over analyse a situation and I have some crazy intuitions (mostly bad intuition)....I am clearly an  introvert and I know it but sometimes I behave like extrovert when I am with my extrovert friends....I always felt like an outcast even when I am chatting in a group of friends like I am happily chatting with them but this "happy" seems fake to myself.

Only now I know that I am not weird but I am actually INFJ..And I am sooo happy to know that I am not weird that I can't....express it in words ㅠ.ㅠ 

Kiky (not verified) says...

Hi, I just tried out my 16personalities test a few days ago and found out that I'm an Advocate INFJ-T, wow I didn't take it seriously, as I have been trying to understand my personality thru my zodiac sign, which pretty much close to describing my personality, well I'm a Cancerian, so being shy, dreamer, sensitive that who I am. till I read more and search more about this INFJ type, and Yes it pretty much describes all of my characters, and I'm so happy, I'm not the only weird person in this world :). Until today I still remember clearly my childhood problem struggling so much with this shyness, I have no friend, I'm too shy and scared to get out of the house. Till one day I finally make friends, and once I get out from home I will go so far away and never get back home, I become super extrovert making a lot of friends. And that's still happened with me right now so most of the people who don't really know me look me as an extrovert who being ignorant when I don't talk with them anymore. but actually that just my real me, which I have been faking all the time. And during this pandemic, this is the moment of truth for the INFJ. I can stay at home for weeks not seeing anybody else except my family and I'm still fine with that. I'm only contacting my very close friend which I don't need to be faking. 

And during this self-reflection moment, I found out that my jobs have never been matched for me INFJ, especially current job, I have been struggling too much every morning to get myself accept this. Also, my relationship has been a problem for ages. I'm 35 now and I'm still single, I had my hot and cold relationship with my ex for 9 years. I guess he is an INFJ too. we can feel so much each other without saying anything, and that can be a problem sometimes. 

Now. I'm just trying to accept what is in my plate, me and my INFJ and just be more grateful, so many people lost what they have in this pandemic. Being grateful and accept your self that the key. 

Sajra (not verified) says...

OMG! Yes, everything you just said...

Reading all these comments made me realize that I am not alone, thank you all. I just hope that one day I could meet some of you🙏

KristinaF (not verified) says...

Seriously! It's like I'm reading about myself. The overthinking, over analyzing and scenario/imagination part. I'm crying. It has always felt like I'm the only one doing this :,( ! Thank you for sharing. Made my day. I'm not alone and I'm not crazy or weird. <3

kendall (infj) (not verified) says...

i've NEVER related more to a post than this

INFJ Female (not verified) says...

I'm happy I've found this chat with people like me)) I also talk with myself a lot. Just the whole time when I'm not speaking or reading, I have some conversations in my head. And, actually, I really like them))

Sandy_0888 (not verified) says...

I am an INFJ. I just learned this when the moment came that I cannot understand myself anymore, and that I wanted to visit a psychiatrist. I talk to myself in my head. Hahaha no

Indra (not verified) says...

So, you meet therapist? How is the result?
What did he/she told about your 'weirdness'? Is that categorized as 'normal'?

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