INFJ
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The INFJ Personality Type

INFJs are creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.

The Counselor has a unique ability to intuit others' emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it himself. They trust their insights about others and have strong faith in their ability to read people. Although they are sensitive, they are also reserved; the INFJ is a private sort, and is selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.

Are you an INFJ?

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What does INFJ stand for?

INFJ is one of the sixteen personality types created by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. INFJ is an acronym for the personality traits of Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, and Judging. The INFJ type is also called the "Counselor" and is described as idealistic, compassionate, and sensitive.

Each of the four letters of the INFJ code signifies a key personality trait of this type. INFJs are energized by time alone (Introverted), focus on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), make decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling) and prefer to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging).

How common is the INFJ personality type?

INFJ is the rarest type in the population. It is the least common type among men, and the third least common among women (after INTJ and ENTJ). INFJs make up:

  • 2% of the general population
  • 2% of women
  • 1% of men

Famous INFJs

Famous INFJs include Mohandas Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Emily Bronte, Carl Jung, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Florence Nightingale, Shirley MacLaine, Jimmy Carter, and Edward Snowden.

INFJ Values and Motivations

INFJs are guided by a deeply considered set of personal values. They are intensely idealistic, and can clearly imagine a happier and more perfect future. They can become discouraged by the harsh realities of the present, but they are typically motivated and persistent in taking positive action nonetheless. The INFJ feels an intrinsic drive to do what they can to make the world a better place.

INFJs want a meaningful life and deep connections with other people. They do not tend to share themselves freely but appreciate emotional intimacy with a select, committed few. Although their rich inner life can sometimes make them seem mysterious or private to others, they profoundly value authentic connections with people they trust.

How Others See the INFJ

INFJs often appear quiet, caring and sensitive, and may be found listening attentively to someone else’s ideas or concerns. They are highly perceptive about people and want to help others achieve understanding. INFJs are not afraid of complex personal problems; in fact, they are quite complex themselves, and have a rich inner life that few are privy to. They reflect at length on issues of ethics, and feel things deeply. Because Counselors initially appear so gentle and reserved, they may surprise others with their intensity when one of their values is threatened or called into question. Their calm exterior belies the complexity of their inner worlds.

Because INFJs are such complex people, they may be reluctant to engage with others who might not understand or appreciate them, and can thus be hard to get to know. Although they want to get along with others and support them in their goals, they are fiercely loyal to their own system of values and will not follow others down a path that does not feel authentic to them. When they sense that their values are not being respected, or when their intuition tells them that someone’s intentions are not pure, they are likely to withdraw.

INFJ Hobbies and Interests

Popular hobbies for the INFJ include writing, art appreciation, cultural events, reading, socializing in small, intimate settings, and playing or listening to music.

Facts about INFJs

Interesting facts about the INFJ:

  • Least common type in the population
  • On personality trait scales, scored as Sincere, Sympathetic, Unassuming, Submissive, Easygoing, Reserved and Patient
  • Among highest of all types in college GPA
  • Among most likely to stay in college
  • Most likely of all types to cope with stress by seeing a therapist
  • Highest of all types in marital dissatisfaction
  • Personal values include Spirituality, Learning, and Community Service
  • Commonly found in careers in religion, counseling, teaching, and the arts

Source: MBTI Manual

Quotes About INFJs

"The visions of the INFJs tend to concern human welfare, and their contributions are likely to be made independent of a mass movement."

- Isabel Briggs Myers, Gifts Differing

"These seclusive and friendly people are complicated themselves, and so can understand and deal with complex ethical issues and with deeply troubled individuals."

- David Keirsey, Please Understand Me II

"INFJs' nonstop search for learning, self-growth, and development—and wishing the same for everyone else—makes them very reassuring to others and people worth emulating."

- Otto Kroeger, Type Talk at Work

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Comments

Hey Ryan, Sup! (not verified) says...

Hello guys! I recently confirmed that I'm an INFJ too.  And with that.I just want to share my experiences of being an INFJ (curious if it's just me or it's common with most INFJs). 

1. For me it's hard to be an INFJ when you're a guy. hahahah! I don't know, I find myself different from most guys. It's like I'm more sensitive, and more in touch with emotions that I fear that women will not see me as "manly" enough. I know shouldn't be comparing myself to others but I tend to keep trying to blend in to the norm and it's so hard. (But also, I see the perks of being sensitive, usually I'm the "counselor" in my own circle of friends which I really like to do.)

2. I feel different. I actually have many circle of friends but there's always a time that I feel like I'm not fitting in. I actually feel like an alien trying to blend it so people will not be suspicious. HAHAHAH. I constantly try to change myself to blend in and it's actually tiring. Though I know my friends still accept me for who I am but I still keep adapting myself just to feel normal. hahhaha

3. (Last negativity then I'll start with the positive/interesting ones hahaha) I have really low self-esteem. I don't know, I always think that I'm still not the best version of myself and I should aim to be that. Even though many people keep saying to me that I'm talented, good-looking, kind, I tend to feel embarrassed when hearing it. (just even typing the 3 descriptions of myself made me feel uncomfortable hahaha) It's like my brain just disregard that strengths and would prefer to focus on the flaws that I have to fix. And with this part, I just want to add how ironic it is that I have self-esteem issues yet I'm ambitious with my dreams and my goals. I always caught myself thinking I'm a big shot, imagining my rise to stardome while jamming to Panic! at the disco's High Hopes. hahaha! I have this part of me thinking that I'm special. It's weird getting caught with low self worth and thinking that I'm something superior actually. 

4. (interesting traits coming up) Is it just me or is it common to other INFJs to be attracted to classy things? I usually prefer being sophisticated with my style of clothes. I tend to gravitate on things that have this beauty and exclusiveness in its attributes. Hahahahah!

5. Adapting. I don't know but I think it's common to all INFJs that we're good at adapting Is that right? It's like for me, I can switch from being the shy, timid type of guy into an extroverted, out-going person if the situation requires me to. There's a time where I'm involved in shooting a film then I saw a newcomer joined us. As I observed this guy, I quickly absorbed his feeling of awkwardness and being shy that what I did is I become a really extroverted type for the person. I tell stories and share jokes with him, introduce him to my friends, I even make small talks (that's uncomfortable for me to do). I don't know, I think it depends on my environment. I can switch from being passive, shy person, into a dominant, sociable leader in seconds. 

6.There's a time where I met this new group of friends and I really did spend a lot of time with them. Then all of the sudden I start to "absorb" or adapt to their personalities. I became an outgoing extrovert for a week that I never knew I can actually become. Then after that I think I had a "low-battery" then I spent a week locking myself inside my house "reverting to my usual self. hahahaah

As I end my post, I think I just want to state that being an INFJ can be interesting, fun, and sometimes it's hard, exausting perhaps. There's a time where you want people to know you more, like you really are trying to open up but you still end up feeling misunderstood. plus, INFJs have the feeling of being different or left-out to also deal with. What I'm saying is that it's really tiring to be an INFJ but I just want to cheer up the person who's reading this that there is someone who really understand us which is our God! He knows our struggles, and even our flaws and weaknesses and yet He's there to accept us. Also He even know your big and small victories in life that some people may miss out (and I know it excruciating to feel unappreciated 'cause there's a side in us which want to please people) but God knows all your victories even if it's simple and He's proud for you accomplishing it. Whenever we feel terrible, or tired, let's remember that God's there for us to give us comfort and rest :) (Matthew 11:28)

Groundhog (not verified) says...

Hi, I'm an INFJ with Asperger's Syndrome(AS). Is that a rare type? It's weird because some of the expected attributes such as intuitiveness are hidden by AS. I was diagnosed as having AS nine years ago at fifty. It was very difficult as a child because I reacted to bullying very negatively, not realizing that if I didn't react these bullies would have got bored with me and left me alone, no one ever explained that to me. The situation worsened leading to me becoming expelled from two schools before my ignorant book worm Psychiatrist referred me to and was sent to a boarding school for problem behavior children at age nine. She also had me medicated on heavy drugs to treat Schizophrenia, which I hated because it hijacked my brain and emotions.  This was partly my own fault because I did everything I could to confuse her at every appointment which including lying to her, lol I hated her, but I forgive me now.   

I have struggled with employment all my life and saw last year the BBC documentary by Chris Packham "Asperger's and Me" where he stated that AS is in the lowest group of employment at 14%. I have been in Sales working self-employed and commission-only throughout most of raising my family of 6 children with my wife. That was a nightmare of uncertainty. Added to that my wife had a bad temper and eventually left me in England, for a man living in California. It's been 20 years since I've seen three of my girls and all due to my ex-wife's determination to exclude me. I remarried and had another daughter. We separated three and a half years ago and I rarely see my youngest. 

I'm now the happiest I've ever felt. I'm waiting for my divorce to go through the courts. I fully embrace my AS and see it positively with the strengths and weaknesses it brings. I recommend Claire Sainsbury's book "Martian in the Playground" it's ten times better than any other AS book I've read.

I learned about 16personalities.com a couple of years ago. I was totally blown over by the accuracy of the test and subsequent INFJ info. I felt as if God was explaining myself to me. It's brought huge unloading of explanation to my life especially my emotional journey. Whereas AS has unlocked my understanding of my difficulties. I've become interested in CS Joseph and his methods of typing people, that's currently on hold for me until the Coronavirus is over. Being able to accurately diagnose people with their Myers Briggs personality type when meeting them will be a great skill. It will enable me to reach out to others in a way that is best for them. I love learning about so many things that enhance my life now. Knowledge is power and we owe it to help others. 

As a Christan of forty years, I see life's challenges as a measure of God's love for us. I know he is making of us what we cannot become alone. The refiner's fire is God's way of helping us become like Him. 

I've covered a lot, hoping it might be helpful to others who struggle. Below are some other recommendations that I do myself. None of what I have said is for financial gain it just honest kindness. Thanks for those who contributed I've enjoyed learning it!

 

• Juicing raw fruit and veg it's totally amazing! Just try it. For delicious recipes designed for health. I follow https://juicemaster.com for delicious recipes designed for health. 

• Workout program by Steve Holden called "Old School New Body" He was Editor of Iron man Magazine for 25 years. 

• If your about to decorate try Farrow and Ball paint ... WOW it's incredible!

Groundhog (not verified) says...

Hi, I'm an INFJ with Asperger's Syndrome(AS). Is that a rare type? It's weird because some of the expected attributes such as intuitiveness are hidden by AS. I was diagnosed as having AS nine years ago at fifty. It was very difficult as a child because I reacted to bullying very negatively, not realizing that if I didn't react these bullies would have got bored with me and left me alone, no one ever explained that to me. The situation worsened leading to me becoming expelled from two schools before my ignorant book worm Psychiatrist referred me to and was sent to a boarding school for problemmed behavior children at age nine. She also had me medicated on heavy drugs to treat Schizophrenia, which I hated because it hijacked my brain and emotions.  This was partly my own fault because I did everything I could to confuse her at every appointment which including lying to her, lol I hated her, but I forgive me now.   

I have struggled with employment all my life and saw last year the BBC documentary by Chris Packham "Asperger's and Me" where he stated that AS is in the lowest group of employment at 14%. I have been in Sales working self-employed and commission-only throughout most of raising my family of 6 children with my wife. That was a nightmare of uncertainty. Added to that my wife had a bad temper and eventually left me in England, for a man living in California. It's been 20 years since I've seen three of my girls and all due to my ex-wife's determination to exclude me. I remarried and had another daughter. We separated three and a half years ago and I rarely see my youngest. 

I'm now the happiest I've ever felt. I'm waiting for my divorce to go through the courts. I fully embrace my AS and see it positively with the strengths and weaknesses it brings. I recommend Claire Sainsbury's book "Martian in the Playground" it's ten times better than any other AS book I've read.

I learned about 16personalities.com a couple of years ago. I was totally blown over by the accuracy of the test and subsequent INFJ info. I felt as if God was explaining myself to me. It's brought huge unloading of explanation to my life especially my emotional journey. Whereas AS has unlocked my understanding of my difficulties. I've become interested in CS Joseph and his methods of typing people, that's curently on hold for me until the Coronavirus is over. Being able to accurately diagnose people with their Myers Briggs personality type when meeting them will be a great skill. It will enable me to reach out to others in a way that is best for them. I love learning about so many things that enhance my life now. Knowledge is power and we owe it to help others. 

As a Christan of forty years, I see life's challenges as a measure of God's love for us. I know he is making of us what we cannot become alone. The refiner's fire is God's way of helping us become like Him. 

I've covered a lot, hoping it might be helpful to others who struggle. Below are some other recommendations that I do myself. None of what I have said is for financial gain it just honest kindness. Thanks for those who contributed I've enjoyed learning it!

 

• Juicing raw fruit and veg it's totally amazing! Just try it. For delicious recipes designed for health. I follow https://juicemaster.com for delicious recipes designed for health. 

• Workout program by Steve Holden called "Old School New Body" He was Editor of Iron man Magazine for 25 years. 

• If your about to decorate try Farrow and Ball paint ... WOW it's incredible!

Salty Sweet (not verified) says...

Female INFJ here.  Totally relate to everything you just said.  Nice to know I'm not an alien, haha!  Weird to come across so many people like me in one place!  I appreciate your share, it does kind of legitimize me being me a bit.  :)

Neo (not verified) says...

CAPTCHA

Neo (not verified) says...

Wow I'm out of words..you literally just explained me everything is a tick and I love the ending part

Isela (not verified) says...

Ryan!!! I can't thank you enough for taking the time to share your raw thoughts and feelings, I too, am an infj, I found out a few years ago, and it was life changing, I wish I knew I was an infj long before, but  I'm thankful that I finally realized what was "wrong with me" which in reality nothing is wrong it's just that we are so rare, that we feel like we don't belong anywhere. I want you to know that everything you expressed I've felt too, you are not alone. It's comforting to know that there ARE people out there that understand, I smiled the entire time reading your words. Thank you for sharing my fellow infj. :)

Jade (not verified) says...

Oh my gosh, we are like the same person!! I am a woman, of course, but like everything you wrote I was like "yep, that's me!!" I had so many doubts that I had this personality because recent situations I've been in have made me feel more extroverted, but reading your post made me feel so much better! My twin sister is an ENFJ and I'm thinking "no, she and I have different personalities I know that." And then I searched up how INFJs do in marraige and Google told me that "She is drawn to the opposite sex" and I'm sitting here like, what? I am kind of in the closet but I am bisexual and I am a Christian. I guess that makes me stand out even moreso in the INFJ community. Your post really made my day!!

Synne (not verified) says...

I have felt all of what you are feeling! On the noe selfasteem but high ambiotion part, it has helped me to do student volanteer work i truly belive in. This makes me feel that im becoming the person i want to be more of in the future. So doing things that make me proud of myself increases my self esteam. Im not religious, which i can see makes me even more lonley, but countributing to society right now, while Studying keep satisfied. I also can swich from shy to outgoing in seconds, And the student volentaring also helps me here. Im always outgoing here because I work with something I belive in and we have to work in a devoted team to finish good projects. 

So Thats a quick tip from me! I also had to lock myself in for a week after beeing outgoing with a new group of friends, but this is not the case with voulentare work. It may because the work is not about me, while whit the group of friends, I had to as you said, become myself again, but also prosess everything we talked about. I am for the most part only friends with introverts, but as my self esteam grows from doing things I believe in, I enjoy more and more henging out with extroverted people from time to time. I still find it hard to become close friends with them, Even exausting, claude i dont think they seek friendships on the deep level a want. 

I also feel less og an erge to adopt to people after doing meaningful work by myself. But Thats still a challange, as i still have the irritating trait of wanting to be liked by everyone, instead of beeing myself and hoping they find me interesting enough to tagg me along. 

I never ones felt normal (as in met another person that is like me) my entire childhood, but University is the best place so far. 

Sorry for spelling mistakes. English is not my mother tongue 

 

GUEST (not verified) says...

THIS IS NOT INFORMATION IS NOT>>>>IS NOT Accurate!!!!!!

Annoyed (not verified) says...

THAT SENTENCE MADE ABSOLUTELY NO >>>>ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. 

Guest (not verified) says...

lmao

Can't tell my name (not verified) says...

I'm in a lot of pain. I just want to be normal. I want to express my emotions, but there's a big barrier. I don't know where to go. I feel like no one could understand me like I tend to. It almost feels like no one even cares about me like I have care for them. It's quite exhausting. I'm trying my best to shine in my talents, I'm trying to distract myself from the lain I have. But during the night time .... when everyone is gone and I'm alone with my thoughts, I feel so lonely. I'm not able to open up myself to others like they do to me. I know the deepest secrets of other people, yet no one knows who I am underneath. No one even cares to give a thought about it. These are the thoughts I tend to ponder about when I'm alone. Please help :/

Fer (not verified) says...

Yup, I see you there my friend. I felt like that since elementary school. Even in Highschool I wondered why I knew everybody's secrets, and somehow managed to help them always, but no one knew nor wondered about mines. I find the most distraction within the boundaries of my mind, and myself. I love being with myself in my mind (even if my wife is next to me). In my own world, perfectly constructed, where I am simply at peace. But I feel you, I know I am complicated for others, even for myself, but at the same time, I am very happy with who I am :) You need to hold onto that, is healing for us INFJs.

INFJ’s Up 😀 (not verified) says...

Remember you have to take care of yourself as well. Don't waste your energy if it is not being appreciated. Start opening up little by little with friends and family and let them in, that's what friends and fam are for. Find an activity group that does something you like sports, books, hiking, etc. or exercise find videos on youtube on how to exercise properly so you don't hurt something. This is good for you mind. Eat healthy take care of you first. 

Incognito (not verified) says...

If you want to talk, I am here to listen. I want to try and understand and may be even help you feel better.

Guest (not verified) says...

I dont who you are .. or where are you from..but yet i felt every single word you’ve sayed ..

want you to know that u r not alone.. cause somewhere on the planet there are people who’s feeling just like you everyday . 

Much love .. i pray for your heart to find peace and your soul to be healed❤️

Guest (not verified) says...

I think all there is to say is that there is nothing wrong with you. You're doing an amazing job by being a selfless friend to so many. Honestly it is unfair and I'm sure extremely exhausting that you pour and pour and pour out to others but can't find a place to be filled again. But I want to emphasize again that you're doing nothing wrong. Where you are in life is exactly where you need to be. And they all become learning experiences. You're going to one day love where you are in life, love the person you've become, love the friends that have walked into your life, and love the heartaches and troubles you've endured to make it where you have. Don't give up. Always be hopeful and trust that you are loved loved loved, because you are.

Lanie (not verified) says...

I understand where you are coming from as an infj. I recently went through rejection from someone I liked. Sure, it hurt a lot knowing that they did'nt like me the way I liked them, and I felt like there was something I was doing wrong. The one thing I would say, is find a close friend, or maybe a few, who you can trust your innnermost feelings with. Most importantly, just know that the love you feel for other people is like a gift. You should'nt give it all away, and hope for love from others in return. Happiness from external things is only temporary. You have to love yourself. It is a hard lesson to grasp, but with time, it gets better, I promise. 

infj friend (not verified) says...

I'm typically not vocal about expressing my thoughts on a chat board, but it seems there are so many with my personality type experiencing sadness, loneliness, pain, and despair, that I feel like I need to speak up a second time and offer some light from the confidence and conviction that is rooted in my heart.  There is only one solid, faithful, and true source of hope, joy, and peace in this life, and that is God.  I encourage you to start seeking and developing a personal relationship with God through prayer (prayer is just talking to God - tell Him how you feel) and by listening to his voice from Scripture (try Biblegateway.com or the Youversion Bible app).  Know that his love for you is so great that he sent his Son Jesus Christ to experience life as a man, overcome sin and death, and give access to God for those who believe and accept His gift of sacrifice.  We are miserable and helpless by ourselves, and that is all that God wants us to acknowledge- that we need Him, our Creator, to redeem us from our own misery and misguided efforts.  The Creator of the universe and the Creator of you and your unique personality is more than capable of bringing joy, hope, peace, and purpose into your life, if that is what you want and you are willing to just ask Him for it and willing to start to develop a relationship with Him.  I went through a very lonely and sad time in my life, but I never felt despair or hopelessness, because I was constantly able to pray and lean into the strength and love of God and Jesus Christ, and I felt His great compassion and love carrying me through.  Two of my favorite chapters of the Bible are Psalm 103 and Psalm 139 - might be a good place to start for anyone interested.  

Guest (not verified) says...

Amen!! I completely understand how people with our personality type may feel despair, loneliness, and unhappiness. Please truly consider this post!! God is our answer to all these feelings. You are never, ever alone when you decide to put your faith in Christ. When no one understands, He does. When you can find no one who will listen, He will. Begin by reading the Bible and focusing your attention on the things that God has promised you. Also, understand your (and everyone's) human condition. Kneel before your Creator and ask Him to forgive you and come into your life. Lastly, surround yourself with people who share your faith. I wish I had more words to express that God has you in His hands and cares for you. I want to leave you with a  few Bible verses and hope that in them you find comfort and peace: 

"For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us, therefore, come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews. 4:15-16

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well." Psalms. 139: 14

God bless you!

gloria says...

ahh thank you so much, God bless <3

Andrea Holloman (not verified) says...

Amen, Amen, Amen. Thank you for your boldness in sharing where true life and peace can be found.  It is in Jesus Christ and doesn't come from  constantly looking within ourselves. 

Andrea Holloman (not verified) says...

Amen, Amen, Amen. Thank you for your boldness in sharing where true life and peace can be found.  It is in Jesus Christ and doesn't come from  constantly looking within ourselves. 

Quiet (not verified) says...

Amen sister...because we tend to be so private, we can take our pain and troubles to Jesus and seek healing through Him. I've found meditation on His word better than ruminating over past hurts.  Whatever is just, pure, lovely, noble and good report, think on these things. God will renew your heart and mind if you let Him.

 

Zay (not verified) says...

Also what you wrote down here right now is exaclty what you need to tell someone else. DO IT! It can be terrifying but if you want to be loved you must allow others to love you and that means saying and expressing what someone could use to hurt or reject you. But it is worth the risk, and if you do get hurt or rejected learn from it and draw that line like I said before and withdraw that power from them and find someone else that you can build trust with and try again

Zay (not verified) says...

Remain vulnerbale to yourself as well as to others little by little, theres no way people are going to understand what isnt expressed. When it comes to relationships draw lines and not walls. Its easier to find people to connect with when you know yourself. Because compatibility also requires you in the formula as well.

hope this can help in some way, even im still trying but it is possible. Take the risk because at the end of the day at least your trying and reaching

Hi-there-it will be ok (not verified) says...

The same thing happened to me and I put up with it far longer than I should have. Find people who you can help but who are also going to help you and step away from those who ignore you. You deserve more than to be someones counselor. They need to be there for you too! Every relationship only works when it's two sided.

Far From The World... (not verified) says...

i wish there was a club or something like that for people like us(INFJs) who don't belong anywhere and don't fit in any categories.

Lula (not verified) says...

ME TOO! So freaking lonely with my thoughts. Recently met someone who appeared to understand me and really liked me. Then he ghosted me and I feel so hurt. Wonder if I did or said something to scare him off or if he was just looking for a quick hook up and I wasn't putting out fast enough. At times it seemed like we were one mind; for example, he would call me just as I was picking up the phone to text him. Now I question it all and feel so betrayed by my own judgement/intuition. It felt so right; how could I be so wrong? Can't stop thinking about him and the future I'd imagined. Can't stop wondering what happened and why he ghosted me. Want to call desperately, but don't dare open myself up to more hurt. Damn this hurts and I wish my mind would just stop!

Jay66 (not verified) says...

That sucks. I hate how unaccountable some people can be. If your heart is anything like mine, you must want to throw your heart and soul into someone, and it's gut wrenching to find that people that you thought were worth it actually turn out not to be. It totally sucks to extend your trust to someone, and then have it thrown in your face. I've been through a situation recently that has pretty much made me feel how you describe above, questioning my own intuition, and wondering if there's anyone out there that's actually capable of the strength of attachment that I want to have. I would actually be really interested in talking further with you; I'm on a few dating sites but there's not much around where I live (New Zealand). If you're keen to make a new friend, let me know and we can be internet [pixel]pals : )

Zay (not verified) says...

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW!! Go and talk to him and ask for an explanation (dont demand but ask) As well as letting him know why you want to know. No matter the outcome it will set yourself free from this torment 

sam22 (not verified) says...

Oh honey...

please don't be upset, that was not your fault. most of us had experiences like this.

it's very common in relationships.

you need to move on . try to be happy, good things will happen.

 

lllllll (not verified) says...

YOU WILL BE OKAY!

eurydice (not verified) says...

i observe that my emotions cannot flow out directly, most of the time they must pass through a censor/a gate, which may be a person, a thought or just myself. is it common in INFJs ? because i am pondering my type. (i am not in the healthiest state.)

Fellow INFJ (not verified) says...

While it is impossible to apply personal experience onto others, I would say you sound quite normal and very much like myself, actually.  I think the key (at least for me) to coping is to accept yourself.  Within yourself.  You are who you are, and at base there is not a way to change that.  Accept that you are as wonderfully flawed as everyone else walking this earth.  Revel in those things that may you YOU - seek to love your inner self!  As for your emotional "editor", I see this as a good thing.  Who wants to be knee-jerk reacting and raving emotionally over everything?  Much better, and quite possibly more healthy, to process things first before reacting.  In short, you are just fine.  Congratulations for being you:)

k1 (not verified) says...

you are like other INFJs and

nothing is wrong with you.

Mysterious Universe (not verified) says...

I wonder how many psychics/psychic-mediums are infj, compared to other types. I think the introversion and intuition are two important factors in most psychics and/or psychic-mediums since they are feelers. In the psychic world, being able to feel everything is basically the basis of the gift(s).

Nosce Te Ipsum (not verified) says...

Hey! I'm INFJ and used to make a living giving psychic readings. I always attributed this to having a lot of Pisces influence in my astrology chart, but after taking the MB test and finding out I'm this type, it makes a lot of sense what you said. Are INFJs known to be drawn to the occult?

Gert-Jan ten Ham (not verified) says...

With my type being INFJ with Enneagram 415, I wonder how frequently people of my type get D in the DISC assessment. I have done this assessment several times, with the Truity DISC assessment finally confirming my type. I got type D as my confirmed type. It sounds contradictionary to me, but I have read regularly that INFJs are walking contradictions. 

Violet (not verified) says...

Hello everyone! 

I can't believe how many INFJs there are!
Yesterday I started taking personality tests after watching a Youtube video about introverts and got several different answers from different tests, hence why I decided to just read about the different types. I came across INFJ (one of the results I got) and immediately thought "Ok, that's me!".

Anyway, the reason for all this digging and reading is because I want to get to know myself better and also use the information to think about my future.
As a child I loved the thought of becoming a doctor and have managed to hold onto this dream for a while; however, recently I have noticed that I can be quite a lazy person and do procrastinate at times. Becoming a doctor still seems like a good option because I get to help people and learn about the complex and amazing human body. Nevertheless, I am afraid that studying medicine might be too much for me and lead to constant stress... Other jobs do seem quite appealing as well e.g. writing; but then again, I feel like I'm not creative enough and fear that I will run out of things to write about.

I might be overthinking a little (not uncommon for INFJs :p) but choosing a job will have a huge impact on my future life which is why I'd like to make the right decision. I don't know if any of you can help me but if you do happen to have any advice, I would be more than happy to hear it!

Kianabreanemedina says...

Hey there!

I've recently discovered I'm an INFJ as well. So much has been clearer! I'm like you in th procrastination, overthinking, (which i call indecisiveness haha) and wanting to help others! maybe a compromise is caregiving. Either for the elderly or the young ( aka behavirally/intellectually challenged youth or adults). I myslf work as a caregiver and love it! I'm currently transitioning into Direct Suppport work which is basically another title for caregiving, specifically rferring to developmentally challenged people. Less schooling involved! Still can be stressful at times, but I found its a weel worthy trade :) I hope this helps! Good luck!

P.S. As a youngin' I always dreamt of becoming a chilidren's author! 

Nemo (not verified) says...

Hello Violet,

if you are still in your early twenties you should just try it with medicine. Your passion and idealism will probably help you getting through the tough times. You can try many different fields in medicine and with this type psychology/psychiatry sounds quite appealing. There is also lot's to write about in topics like this and many interesting ideas to be followed or developed.

I feel you with being picky on the job. I changed my studies two times and will probably change jobs many times.

Cheers from a fellow INFJ.

Tess (not verified) says...

Hi Violet,

I do give you kudos for your quest of self-knowledge before investing your energies and money into a proper academic path. Very wise.

However, the MBTI, while useful in some areas of life, is really just a shorthand categorization that summarizes the complexities of one's astrological makeup. If you are aware of its origins, you then understand that Meyers and Briggs created the test based on Carl Jung's work in psychiatry, which included astrology, an ancient form of psychology.

In order to hone in on your vocational leanings, I strongly recommend having your natal chart read either by an experienced astrologer, which may cost around a couple hundred dollars. Or you can DIY for around $40. Either way, examining your astrological profile is the surest way to get to the pith of what makes you tick. You can find a handful of decent astrologers on Quora and other sites, and for DIY readings I recommend astrotheme.com or astrolabe.com.

I do believe that in understanding and constructing anything, one must work from the bottom up.

Best wishes,

Tess

 

 

 

 

Frank Taylor (not verified) says...

Hi Violet!

Similarly, I was recently hunting for information on my personality type because I was curious if it had changed - and changed it had. I was previously an ISTJ but now I register as an INFJ and it couldn't be more true after reading. 

The reason I am replying to your comment is because I did attend medical school for around 17 weeks before ultimately deciding it was not my calling. As a fellow INFJ, I understand your desire to contribute to the well-being of others, do something more than just earn material gain, and also achieve excellence. For me, medical school was extremely taxing, but I was succeeding. When I left school, I had a 3.85 GPA. I was highly pleased with the mastery I was working towards, the universal usefulness/helpfulness of being a physician, job security, and exclusive trust patients have for their physicians. However, what weighed me down the most were the years I was on track to invest studying in school and apprenticing, if you will, through residency. Studying in my apartment night after night grew wearisome. I felt that I was watching life pass me by to an extent. I value family and the close relationships I have with friends immensely, and the medical doctor route was one that would force me away from them for an extended period of time - missing so many events and important time with them. I also consider myself a devout Christian, and I felt that my true passion to impact people spiritually was being overshadowed. Ultimately, I chose to pursue a field that would demand less personal sacrifice, while still changing other's lives. I hope that this bit of insight is somehow helpful!

ss008 (not verified) says...

Hi, if you do not mind mentioning, what career did you end up going to instead. I am a fellow INFJ and always thought about being a doctor, and I think I can do it (obviously with alot of hardwork)but yea I fear I will miss out alot on life and its events, and thats one of the main things that stopping me from opting to go into medical school. so if you found something more suitable and already have the experience of attending medical school and then opting out, would love to know more. thanks. 

INFJ girl (not verified) says...

 infjs are very special . i think only an infj can understand another infj.

although some of us have a strong tendency to be perfect but basically

we just wanna love and be loved.

Nikki (INFJ) (not verified) says...

That is so me....

Shannon Jennings (not verified) says...

Has everyone here took the test to call themselves infj or just read the description and devide thats Wat you ate??

KarenB (not verified) says...

I have taken the official Meyers-Briggs personality test 3x and all 3 times it was shown that I was an INFJ.  Yes, it is the rarest, but people who are one have mostly felt like an alien or outsider growing up....because face it, no one understands us. We are very deep, intuitive, and feeling. We feel for people and all aspects of life...we may paint a picture of the sky or write a poem or short story to describe all the beauty that brings us to tears...we feel deeply. Although we love people, we have generally only a few close friends. We chose to be alone and ponder on things...it energizes us. Being around loud places and crazy crowds of people full of drama and problems really wears us out. Our ideal relaxation (at least mine) would be sitting in the middle of the forest with a book with my cat at my side. I'd pet my cat, stare at the beautiful trees, sky, and take it all in and then fall into my books wear I connect on fascinating topics...then when I'm tired of reading, I'd gaze upon the beauty of the forest again....all the while taking in all the sounds of nature (my music). We are very deep, though-provoking people, and we see the beauty in things and people. But, sometimes people can really tire us out mentally...so, we like to recharge our battery with alone time of deep reflection. It is NOT lonliness....it powers us and gives us the strength to be strong for others (to be the protector, the counselor) for when we are needed by others....that task gets very tiring. Hopefully, my explanation gives a person a good idea of the generalities felt by a INFJ. 

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