INFJ
Choose other type

Primary tabs

How do INFJs communicate?

INFJs are reserved about communication, and often keep their most treasured ideas and insights private. They are oriented to values and connection, and will search for meaning in the information they take in. They think deeply and often need time to process and evaluate before they are ready to share their ideas. They seek validation and will take the time to appreciate others and their ideas. They are often talented at making connections to bring people together and integrate ideas, values, and human potential.

What are INFJs like as partners?

In relationships, the INFJ is supportive and guided by a sense of integrity. The INFJ's interest in human development applies to their mates as well, and they are encouraging of their partner's dreams, aspirations, and achievements.

INFJs want to maintain harmony in their relationships and are highly motivated to resolve conflicts. They tend to be creative problem-solvers and look for the emotional core of an issue to create a meeting of the minds. Although they desire cooperation, they are not willing to go along with an idea that does not feel authentic to them. When it comes to their core values and ethics, they are unwilling to compromise.

INFJs want a high degree of intimacy and emotional engagement, and are happiest when they feel they are sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings with their mates. INFJs value a partner who respects their deeply held values and ethics, and one who appreciates their creativity and inspiration.

What are INFJs like as parents?

As parents, INFJs are devoted and loving. They tend to form strong bonds with their children and are very closely tuned in to their emotional states. Counselor parents naturally see the possibilities in their children and encourage them to develop their potential.

Although they support their children in their individual interests, INFJ parents are firm disciplinarians, particularly when it comes to moral or ethical concerns. They are concerned with their children's emotional health and spiritual development, and want to create a nurturing atmosphere that promotes growth and well-being.

INFJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the INFJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the INFJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The INFJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between INFJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

INFJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the INFJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the INFJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the INFJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the INFJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

Are you an INFJ?

Take the test and know for sure
Take the test

Primary tabs

Check out the INFJ Discussion Forum

Want to have a more in-depth conversation about being an INFJ? Head on over to our discussion forum and post your questions, comments, and/or general musings!

Comments

LilaJames (not verified) says...

I changed a lot. It's normal. I used to be an INFJ and now I'm this

miranda1651 says...

I too took this test around twenty years ago and was scored as an INTJ. However, unexpected suffering in life either personally or seen/heard in others I've met along the way has changed my type to an INFJ. Interesting....

Guest (not verified) says...

Just took the MB test (twice) just to be sure. INFJ. So, this is where all my people are! Hello! Now I understand why no one wants to watch movies with me. I cannot count how many times people have told me, stop saying what you think is going to happen. LOL!

bih17529 says...

I fail to see how INFJ's are rare. There can't be so few of us in the world. It's just not possible.

Guest (not verified) says...

We do change as our life evolves and our life situations changes, and our social life goes through test after test after test. You can call it learning curves, or taking account of what happened to us.

Guest (not verified) says...

The same has happened to me. I took the test in 1999, and thought 'Yes!' when told I heard the description of the INTP, but now INFJ feels right.

Oliver (not verified) says...

Same

I was an INTJ for 6 years. Never understood why I was so lost until I found out I was an INFJ 6 years later! Now everything makes sense...

Guest (not verified) says...

Mine has changed with age as well. When I took the test my first year of university (early 20's), I was an INTJ. The administrator was surprised by this because of its rarity and because I was female. In my mid 40's, I score as an INFJ and reading about this personality type, it certainly hits home on every mark, though parts of the descriptions for INTJ still fit with me as well. Interesting.

The Dreamer (not verified) says...

Exactly the same with me, except I took the test a second time only six months later to find I had changed from INTP to INFJ.

Kathleen Jacque (not verified) says...

For years I thought I was an ISFP. But now I Find that INFJ fits just as well. Curious!

somebody stalking the forums (not verified) says...

yeah I've changed too, used to be INFP, not ISFP though I get ESFP sometimes too 

Guest (not verified) says...

Try looking into the chameleon effect 

Prasad (not verified) says...

similarly,

2014, i was INTP.

2015, i was INFP.

today in 2017, i am INFJ.

 

VB (not verified) says...

I am not sure if I am doing the test wrong, I am usually an INTJ but sometimes I switch to an INFJ

guest (not verified) says...

same!

Guest (not verified) says...

I am definitely an INFJ in all senses except how I share my feelings. When I was younger I was more introverted about how I felt but as you get hurt and learn how to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again I have learned how to voice my opinions better. Maybe I have just evolved!

Aitokea says...

@Allmarkha: Try completing the test again, just this time more slowly and carefully.

Allmarkha says...

Wow thats a lot like me. I'm definitely introverted and intuitive not completely sure about the others though. I do care alot about values.

Guest (not verified) says...

I feel like there would never be a better description of me.

Guest (not verified) says...

Ditto!

samantha (not verified) says...

when i irst took a Myers Briggs test, years ago, I scored an ENFJ but ever since then I have been and INFJ which I feel is more authentic for me.

Very good test and inforamtive site.

Guest (not verified) says...

When I was younger in my mid 20's I too was am ENFJ (extrovert) now that I am older I am an INFJ (intorvert), which makes sense to me since the Extroverts get most of thier data, values ect from the external world around them, and the introverts get it from the internal within. Who says aging is bad, its not. I am happy with who I am and this test is helpful in helping yu to better understand yourself and others. My husband took it and he is a ESFP, which is the complete opposite of me. Now I know why we struggle so much sometimes. I have decided to let him be him, and me be me. But it was a comfort to me to know that I already figures these things out about him long before the test.

Vanight says...

The misconception that ones MB type changes based on age, mood, or whatever...seems to be more and more common. I have been following the online Myers-Briggs fad since it started. I too had the same misconceptions until I read more and more about what this test really shows, and how reliable these free online tests are. Not all of the online test are 100% terrible, however, much the accuracy 'fail' has to do with how the individual takes the tests. Without being administered by a professional that can weed through improper testing and complement the test with other evaluations to come up with a holistic accurate profile determination, its kind of a gamble as to how reliable it is. The alleged profile changing illustrates this. Also, Mental & psychological conditions could affect The efficacy of these tests which arguably are questionable in quality to begin with. The other problem is how folks interpret interpret those 4 letters even if correct. I would suggest spending some time reading about cognitive functioning, so that you understand what these letters mean. It isn't a situation like, my N must have been activated, or, wow, must've been my S, or that day I was in a good mood so I guess my "I" turned into an E.

I would encourage you to also take other types of assessments like the old school 4 temperaments, the DiSC, Keirsey temperament sorter, etc... some are better suited for career context. I cant stress enough how important becoming familiar with cognitive functioning is, to correctly understand what the Myers-Briggs indicates.

MissusNemm (not verified) says...

This fits almost exactly how I think about and view myself - and I'm glad it acknowledges that INFJs are complex people because I've often drawn the same conclusion about myself! But, I'm happy to be who I am, even if it isn't always easy. I'm also not surprised to learn that this a rare personality type, as I often get the sense that I'm wired a little differently than other people. I get along well with almost anyone, but I don't come across people that I feel true kinship with very often. Though when I do, the resulting relationships are rich, long-lasting and much treasured.

Guest (not verified) says...

I completely agree with you, I rarely meet people I can't get along with but I also rarely meet people that I feel I have a true connection with - but of course that makes it all the more special when I do :)

Guest (not verified) says...

I know! I feel the same exact way!

Guest (not verified) says...

This is EXACTLY how I feel, and something my boyfriend doesn't seem to quite understand. He's always telling me how much everyone likes me and how I always connect to so many people and doesn't understand why I feel lonely sometimes when it's so hard to find a person that can truly understand me! It can be nice to know there are other people like me out there, I just need to keep searching!

SS (not verified) says...

I completed a similar "Personality Style Test" (Myers Briggs) during graduate school (as I was completing a Masters of Counseling degree). At that time, the test results indicated that I was an "ENFP". It has been several years since I took the Myers Briggs. I thought it would be rather interesting to retake a "Personality Style Test" to identify changes that may have occurred throughout the years. I found it rather interesting that Truity's assessment revealed an "INFJ" personality profile rather than an "ENFP". I attribute this difference to my educational training; professional experience as a psychotherapist; and most importantly to my personal journey of healing, growth, and change. I believe that the Myers Briggs "ENFP" test result was a correct assessment of my personality style "prior" to the recovery of my "authentic" self. However, through the process of psychotherapy, I have since reclaimed my "lost INFJ self". I found Truity's Test to be a helpful tool in identifying and substantiating personality style.

Guest (not verified) says...

There's been a lot of comments on here about types changing. For the sake of discussion, I wonder if maybe INFJs struggle some from "type envy"--where we identify so closely with another person (my mom in my case) that we tend to label ourselves according to their personality (she is definitely a TP), but as we grow older, we learn that trying to be that kind of person doesn't really make us happy, and slowly we settle into our INFJ identity. Just a thought...

Mike S (not verified) says...

That definitely resonates. Nicely articulated.

Guest (not verified) says...

this fits, my husband and I perfectly, we got the same EXACT score on the test to the single digits, these descriptions fit us like a glove.

Guest (not verified) says...

@SS I am also a former ENFP that is now an INFJ. I feel that as I've grown and learned and mellowed over the years, and honed in on the things I truly value, this change makes a lot of sense. When I realized that I was going to some concerts, parties and dinners simply for the sake of going and realized I would have preferred to stay home and read, write or spend time with my family, I knew that my extrovert flair was diminishing. I've always been good at seeing issues from all angles, but am quick to withdraw from any situation where my position and values don't mesh with the rest. It's why I sit alone at my desk working with headphones on, while my co-workers are chatting and drinking coffee or running off for lunch. I'm sure some would think that terribly boring and sad, but at this stage of life I prefer my solitude. Someday, I'll have my own Walden...

ryan.steffany.johnson says...

My wife wanted me to post this. I think now that she understands why I don't share all my inner most thoughts and feelings and why I don't just go along with her on whatever idea she has and why I don't jump when she does but follow behind closely, she can better appreciate the complexity of me. My hope is for a deeper understanding of each other. I love her, I want to love her more.

peachgirl says...

I am an INFJ female and felt overwhelmed and teared after reading this, not b/c I am sad but b/c I felt connected to what was said and also wish for my future partner to understand my lack of desire to share or follow willingly. I have no idea if all INFJs tend to easily connect emotionally with strangers or small details... but I do! :"(

Guest (not verified) says...

I am also an INFJ PERSON. I can really relate to the analysis of INFJ minority and I totally agree with what your comments. I suddenly feel I am not alone living in this world!

texas tea says...

I am interested in communicating with INFJs. I tested out initially as an INFJ but have also tested out as an INFP.

Guest (not verified) says...

The same thing happened with me except reversed…a year ago I tested as an INFP but I recently tested as an INFJ…it's pretty interesting.

Guest (not verified) says...

I tested as an INFP before also but now every time I take the test I come out as an INFJ.

Vanight says...

Then the test was low quality or incorrectly administered. Types dont change.

texas tea says...

why would they say INFJ are highest in martial dissatisfaction?

Guest (not verified) says...

I think because we have really high expectations of our partners.
We're so often misunderstood too; hard to find someone compatible with our personality that fulfills our needs.
And we have a difficult time forgiving, especially when it's something that goes against our core values.

It's not impossible though. Everyone has faults and you learn and grow wiser with life experience... Been married 11 years and I'm happy with my hubby. My mother was, I think, an INFJ too (passed away from brain tumour) but she was miserable with my father. My father and she were not compatible at all. If you find the right person, you can be very happy and fulfilled in marriage, I think.

Eli says...

Maybe it's because our differentness causes conflict in all areas.

My huge need for headspace is interpreted as being selfish, boring etc.
My privacy need provokes suspicion in my partner. I'm under surveillance 24/7.
The "frown" on my face when I'm thinking deeply, (I call it the screensaver look, lol) always trigger my partner to fight.
When I'm going to the deeply emotional connection way, my partner cuts the conversation and walks out of the room.
To keep my body healthy is priority. It results in conflict in meal choices, time for exercise, medication etc.
My creativity is being criticised for: taking up too much time (like drawing, guitar, writing), people will think you're bragging (meals for guests, interior decorating in my house - which is so simple anyways) etc.
My 'slowness' to answer on the spot, my partner interprets as I'm busy plotting a lie.
The list goes on and on...
Point is, there's no space for me as an INFJ to just be...

Guest (not verified) says...

You might need a new partner

Thomas (not verified) says...

The key is finding a way to accomodate the needs and wishes of our partner without feeling like we are compromising the core person we know we are. I know when we get criticized a lot it hurts, but in my case, because I know myself so well, I know when I deserve it and when I don't. If I don't deserve it, I just let it pass right over as the other person's difficulty (caused by stress, marital difficulties, money, or whatever), and ignore it. If it's my wife, I usually smile and say "I love you too dear" ;)

About "slowness", my wife of 23 years is an extrovert. She's commented numerous times that for someone with a Ph.D., I sure think and answer slow. Well, there's no way I can tell her what's going on inside my brain, so I just say that my thinking process is "linear", that I have to go through a lot of yes/no decisions to get to my answer, and sometimes that takes time. There's no worth in reminding her that that "slow" thinking process is what has given us the lifestyle we enjoy. She asks a question, and I give her a WIKI-length answer, and she cuts me off, saying I always give her too much detail in my answers. She just wants a yes/no answer. That's happened dozens of times over the years, and it'll keep on happening. Just because she doesn't understand that I treasure my knowledge and understanding, and that I want to share my treasure with her too, is no reason to get upset. As they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink. In this instance, I've tried to do my good deed and be helpful(countless times), and the pleasure of knowing that I've done my best is enough. It's really a matter of being CONFIDENT of the depth and richness inside me, that almost everything I need (not to be confused with wants) is right here where and when I need it, that makes it possible to demand so little from the outside, or be dissapointed when the outside offers little in return.

Guest (not verified) says...

My guess also would be that we are "misunderstood" quite often. But I'd have to agree that a happy marriage is possible. Marriage works because the two people are willing to do the work of being married. If two people really want a marriage and learn about each other and try their best to understand the other (not necessarily agree) and there's a good level of respect, then TRUST is earned from both sides and this leads to marital satisfaction. I especially like the research Dr. Gottmann has done regarding relationships and factors that influence relationship satisfaction. My point being that at first my husband found me beguiling and mysterious but now as I've learned to trust him with my innermost thoughts and feelings he knows me better than anyone and still loves me and cherishes our time together. We've had to do a lot of growing and learning to communicate effectively, but it is possible. I also think that because we are such a small portion of the population, other types aren't exactly sure how to relate to us, they've never had to before or they've never met anyone quite like us, so there's a bit of a learning curve. I do attribute my relationship satisfaction with my desire to believe in our connection and wanting to continually better it. Being an INFJ can contribute to satisfaction, I would think, given we learn how to communicate our needs and understand the needs of our partner. I can, however, see the flipside where our ideals are never quite met by our partner because we set them too high.

Guest (not verified) says...

I've taken this test as administered in a psych class and 3 other times over the last 15 years. I've scored INFJ every time.

Guest (not verified) says...

My biggest fear in being a mother one day is being overprotective with my kids and having them reject me or suffer because of being overprotected all their lives.

Will need to get therapy to not let this happen.

If anyone has any comments on being overprotective, please let me know!

INFP = "The Protector" personality type.

Thanks,
Elisa

Guest (not verified) says...

@ texas tea. I believe the reason they are the highest in marital dissatisfaction is because they have a really high standard of what it is to be in a committed marriage. If it seems like their partner isn't as enthusiastic about their perception of how deeply serious they are about the marriage, then it causes dissatisfaction. Just my take on it.

P.s. I'm an INFJ.

Donna (not verified) says...

This was quite a fascinating read. I have been doing much research in regards to mbti and really, this is truly a great website for those just starting to get familiar with mbti.

I find it interesting how generally INFJs fit in a certain "stereotype," and I am somewhat excluded in the sense that it doesn't quite describe my persona in the least bit. This used to concern me, but my research pertaining to the cognitive functions aided me in understanding how it is all pieced together. It is okay to realize that the descriptions are merely generalities and really, I am uniquely myself such as everyone else in their own right.

I am not very kind nor am I sweet, affectionate person. If anything, I am described as a strong thinker with no patience for nonsense such as illogical and unreasonable statements, responses, and what not. I am very bad at connecting with other people as I tend to be quiet or a bit too honest when pointing out flaws. It would be nice to have an INFJ I can relate to at present as I have yet to personally meet one. If anything, the closest I could relate my views to is an Ni dom at the moment. Well, it's very good to see other INFJs here.

Truity says...

I wonder how you decided you were an INFJ when the description does not fit you? Have you considered whether INTJ is a better fit?

Share your thoughts

Truity up to date