INFJ
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Jendivin (not verified) says...

The same thing just happened to me a few weeks ago.
I went to a medium/psychic tell me that I have psychic ability and one of my kids as well.
At the time I only knew I was "Highly Sensitive"
I came across the personality test on pintrest and was floored to say the least. Everything in my life is making sense to me now.
I've been told I have OCD and I thought I had ADHD
I don't have either of those conditions and now know it's part of my personality.
I cannot begin to tell you the enormity of this discovery.
I'm still in shock.

Guest (not verified) says...

Wait...really? Because I'm thinking that I might have OCD too, and it's been so hard for me recently because these worries seem to have taken over my life. Thanks for posting that, though!

Guest Bean (not verified) says...

I realised I was an HSP (highly sensitive person) a while ago. I was brought up by a parent with narcissistic personality disorder and addiction. It's possible that sensitivity came about as a required survival mechanism, as I constantly had to read and evaluate situations and walk on egg shells.
I just found out that I am a INFJ and it makes a lot of sense. I have always felt different, misunderstood etc. but also sometimes admired for some of my creative gifts (which I sadly also mostly hide), as well as insight and imagination.
Despite being able to understand and sympathise with others I find relationships challenging and struggle to find people who understand me. There have also been a lot of narcissistic partners in my life, who can easily fake the empathy of our INFJ type, but actually have no empathy at all. After a very sad and traumatic time in my last relationship that was like this (and the most destructive)I have had 14 years being single, and find it hard to trust again. Understanding about my type has helped me understand how I am how I am, that I have high ideals and crave harmony, and that discord makes me unwell.
I have also worked as a carer for many years with elders and learning disabled etc. I love helping others but experienced real burn out in this role, and hope to retrain as a counsellor. I am also drawn to the arts. I often feel that there is not enough time to do the things I want to do in life, but I keep plugging away because this is what makes life meaningful to me.
I did have some difficult situations in my last two jobs when I moved from London to Scotland. It was horrible because my sensitivity was at a peak, and it was a new environment etc. and I was a target for bullying. I think people also took my shyness for aloof arrogance, and I was again misunderstood. It was very difficult experience but thankfully I've left these situations behind and have a good therapist.
I am at the point where I am thinking about the people in my life, who honours me, and the kind of relationships I want to have. I realise that these relationships/friendships are best with those few rare types who are warm and caring and gentle. My extrovert side sometimes craves more excitement and fun but there can be some fakery in those circles too.
Self knowledge is a great thing, especially as as INFJ types were sensitive to criticism and want our contribution to be valued. Knowing our type and what is important to us can help understand the disappointments and sense of alienation that can happen sometimes! Also we can value ourselves more highly and take more seriously what we have to offer the world.

Karin26 (not verified) says...

I can definitely relate to that feeling of not fitting in for being misunderstood. I think that is not only a characteristic of this personality type, but something that is more of a universal quality. We're all humans and we all know that feeling and fear on some level I believe. It just seems that this personality type - if I judge it from my own experience - is more reflective and intuitive and sensitive than most other types. And therefore it can make life a little bit harder for this type, I believe. On the other hand, because we are quite in tune with out emotions I like to believe that we are dealt exactly what we can handle, and that we are good at working through things exactly because we have a focus on other's true motives, our feelings and difficult issues. I think no other personality type is more apt to deal with emotional issues/capacities better than an INFJ. The 'difficulty is that each INFJ has a unique way of dealing with things and it can take time to find what this is for you.

In my personal experience I have also dealt with individuals that have narcissitic tendencies and that fake empathy. I have decided to no longer have contact with such individuals as they drain me emotionally and cause me a lot of stress, frustration and anxiety. They are bad for me, so I had to be wise and let them go. I think particularly when empathy and emotional capacity is faked, this can hurt INFJs more and be harder to overcome than for other personality types, as INFJs are very empathising and sensitive individuals. One thing most characteristic of INFs is integrity; this is why we cannot stand fake people, manipulation, and lies etc. INFJs, as judged from my own experiences and life experience, simply cannot fake. Period. We cannot fake empathy. We cannot fake that we care and love somebody. Therefore it is also extremely painful and almost impossible to believe that others are capable of deceiving us. It is even harder to realize that others cannot match our emotional capacitities, and it hurts so much when you find out this limitation in somebody that you cared for and trusted (either as a friend or a romantic partner). 

I think that is actually one of our strenghts, that the relationships we have are not always easy. This challenge is part of what makes it interesting, and why relationships we form and have (and lose) keep us occupied. We tend to be a bit more sensitive to things and in my personal experience it happens that I more often than not notice things that other people miss, or just things that I pick up on. I've learned that it is not a bad thing to be sensitive and attuned to things, and I've learned that writing has always helped me. 

However, despite being and INFJ and needing alone-time to reflect on things and to just do my thing, on my own, I find that as I grow older I am looking more and more to expand my horizons. I want to become more social and become better at juding/reading people so that I may understand humans better. My highest goal in life is to help people, in some way. To create some positvie change in the world, in whatever way possible. And by gaining life experience, learning more about the world and the people in it, I strive to achieve this goal. And it can be achieved in little ways. Maybe somebody reads this message/post and realizes that they are not alone. If that is the case, then I feel I have made some kind of difference in the world already. Sometimes you have to start small to make big changes :)

In this phase in my life the emphasis is on trying to challenge myself and gain more life experience. I am 26 as I am typing, so I realize that is quite young in any case. But I think that because I have always been very comfortable on my own, I've started to fear that I am missing out a little bit. I have several friends and close connections to them so it is not that have missed friendships. It is rather that I've learned and grown a lot on a professional/ademic and personal level, but less on the intrapersonal level and social levels and I want to give that more emphasis from now on. And I think, despite being introverted and having a tendency to want to be alone - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with - I think it would be generally good advice for INFJs to get out there sometimes and see more of the world, meet different people and make new friends.

I just strongly dislike the thought of mindlessly accepting "I am an INFJ, therefore... X" For example saying that you are not X or Y or you can't do certain things. At the end of the day, we INFJs can learn a lot from other personality types. Plus, there are elements of other personality types in all of us and vise versa. So, by all means I think it is always important to keep an open mind and to realize that you as a human being are more than what can be summed up in a personality review, despite the truth there may be in the evaluation.

My sister, for example is an ESFP and we have an amazing relationship. She has many characteristics that I highly value. She is spontaneous, enthusiastic and open - a real social bee- and by being around her I have learned so many things and have implemented some of those things that were naturally less present/dominant in me. Because, at the end of the day what we are all looking for is a connection. And we cannot do that if we do not try to understand others. Even if those others end up hurting us, and do not understand us, we can take away value from the interaction and the experience. I believe it is not about the destination but about the journey. Always keep trying to become a better version of yourself. Accept the things which you cannot change, of course, but try not to become complacent as that will limit the quality of your life. 

I wish everybody the best. May you find peace and happiness and a little bit of relief from the pain of being misunderstood for who you are. Please realize you are never alone. There are always others like you. The world is a big place with lots of people in it. A couple of percentages (only 1-2 percent of the population is a INFJ) might be a little bit but it is still A LOT of people if you do the math. Don't waste your time experiencing too many negative emotions. If you can let them go, or find some outlet - whatever that is - choose that. You will make your life better and have a more positive life.

 

 

 

Guest (not verified) says...

Wooooow, I love that! I am trying to push myself. I know I can in some directions. I usually burn out if I commit to some highly exhausting project for a couple of months (and I only do that kind of work). But as yo usay, I think it's about habits, and we can change habits. Yes we love to be alone and reacharge by ourselves, but maybe it's just safe feelings we are runing to. I am really curious how to combine both worlds. I know if I want to have some kind of career I would better work by myself, but then I need great amount of self discipline and know that my work has some positive influence on individuals and society as a whole. At the same time, I don't really want to live a hermit life (I would love to, but I don't want to allow that to myself). It's possible to live calm and peaceful life without retrieving into hermit mode, I am sure. 

I think you are correct about constantly growing. There are incidents from the past that make us choose familiar patterns. We then escape back to our protective selef when we feel anxious or threatened. 

 

This is a very good and HEALTHY video to watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La9oLLoI5Rc

 

Thanks again Karin! Love how you think.

Guest (not verified) says...

I can relate to feeling like an alien around others because I have never felt as if I "fit in". There are very few people who I can actually relate to and finding out that I was an INFJ really cheered me up. And then I got to reading about them and I litterally got a little creeped out because it fit me so perfectly. It was like reading an instruction manual to myself and it was amazing. I didnt feel so alone afterwards because I finally knew there were others just like me.

Kendo (not verified) says...

As an INTP--with a female friend who I think is an INFJ--I can so sympathize; I'd felt like an 'alien.' How many others have felt that way?! Throughout history? Knowledge can be a wonderful thing, as self-knowledge can be priceless

(VERIFIED) (not verified) says...

Now that I know my actual career options, all should go well :)

Guest (not verified) says...

hi there only just been introduced to all this personality stuff but hey how true is it, ive felt lost and alone, didnt fit in (alien) all my life. Now however I see the bigger infj picture Im happy to say I feel better. I have always been able to see popeles pain and suffering! probably in part due to my own!! still upwards and onwards my new friends out there. never give up hope of finding that oh so illusive inner peace.

Andrea

Guest (not verified) says...

It has to deal in part with the rate of the maturity of the prefrontal cortex of the brain becaus it controls certain aspects such as personality

Terrence (not verified) says...

I've always felt that way. I don't seem to fit in anywhere.

Guest (not verified) says...

I feel the same way I do not fit in any where! It is possible as well I could have PTSD...I cannot seem to hold a job any one going through this please help!

brentamiller says...

I also have had an intense sensation that I was different, but couldn't figure out why. At times I've wondered if something was "wrong" with me, and I suppose that is in line with INFJs seeking out counselors. In response to your question, I recently went through a very intense workplace harassment situation which caused hyper-alertness, anxiety and depression. It took a lot of outside advice and determination to keep myself on track, but I could see how it could have resulted in a very negative situation for my career. I landed with my feet on the ground, but despite that tachycardia and insomnia persisted for a few months. Social exclusion is perceived by the prefrontal cortex along the same lines as a physical threat. We're helper types and being targeted is traumatic. Definitely seek advice and counseling. In my case, it was a HR consultant and a lawyer, but a psychologist would have been in order, too!

Lynda (not verified) says...

I also went through a very traumatic bullying situation with a sociopath at work and it crushed my perception of everything I thought about myself. It took me a few years to really work through it all in my head but forever changed the way I see humanity. The only good thing is that it was a catalyst for some inevitable change in my life and I have learned to listen to my intuition the first time around.

Guest (not verified) says...

I'm sorry you're going through that. I also find it difficult to stay at a job long, at least comfortably. What about trying two part-time jobs? That way you're not at anyone place for too long throughout the day and can even have a bit of variety in your day. Alot of of part-time jobs have you there for only 4 hrs at a time.

Guest (not verified) says...

I get along well with every walk of life, but have always felt like I actually belong to none.

Guest (not verified) says...

Yep, that's it in a nutshell.

wandella (not verified) says...

Yep you got it, but the key is to accepting that and to accepting who you are, not trying to change but working on your strengths.

We have got a lot to offer!

Guest (not verified) says...

I totally agree I never fit in anywhere and always thought it was because I must be a social regect but as I got older I realized my social skills are just fine it had to be something else....then I take this test and viola it is all clear to me now.

JCM (not verified) says...

Life is a journey and some of us do grow and change. No not everyone does, which validates your statement but it's not absolute. Some people really go through profound changes as I have myself.

CoffeeChemist (not verified) says...

^^^THIS. Yes. I have to take each circumstance and situation one at a time and find my place in it. It's exhausting.
Then if a known situation changes I have to start over again. The down side I suppose. But it means I CAN be flexible and get along in many different situations I suppose - unlike some other types.

creceda says...

Yes we are who we are, however if one takes this test as a teenager and is easily influenced by others energies he or she might have a change of personality once on their own. I found this to be true for myself. Yes, we are who we are.

Guest (not verified) says...

That's how I feel as well. I did the test first as a teen and then again in my thirties. I did it a few years ago again in my fifties and it has always come out INFJ. I didn't realize how enviable or fashionable a type it was until recently. My point being that your results can be skewed by wanting to be perceived a certain way.

Guest (not verified) says...

There are two aspects to personality: What you are born with, and what you experience. While the core of who you are will never change, how someone percieves and reacts to the world can change.

JulesM (not verified) says...

I agree. We don't change our personality type but as we grow and learn we begin to be more in touch with our true self. Many years ago I may have incorrectly answered questions by thinking how others see me. Hence sometimes being seen as an extrovert when in reality I am truly an introvert. I know myself on a deeper level in my 40's. Blessings

 

madison cory (not verified) says...

i just love my bass guitar. i can connect with it/ music in general better than any person in general. (especially better than any old theripists that i don't know that probably just listens to me for the money.

GeneINFJ (not verified) says...

I have taken the Myers-Briggs test 3 times in my life, once about 30 years ago, another about 20 and again 12 years ago and have had the same result INFJ . 

Arch-Alien (not verified) says...

We completely concur; as in, my #1 challenge has been not so much trying to fit into any class or click but just realizing that I don't and won't, and I'm OK with that.  I just wish I could figure out a way to politely yet tactfully exclude my self from groups trying to include me without standing out and appearing awkward, cause I get along with everyone...until...     

Guest (not verified) says...

Actually, once you understand the cognitive functions, you realize that it does not change as you grow and have new experiences. We might have areas that require growth, and when growth occurs, it can seem that a personality change makes sense. But, ultimately, how we process our world and the way that happens inside our brains doesn't change. It helps to expand beyond taking the online test. After all, those that administer these tests as a profession are highly educated and trained to do so.

Guest (not verified) says...

I am an INFJ. When I took the test the second time (scored the same results), it was explained that people's results can change. It is unlikely that they will change after 25, because your personality and preferences are pretty concrete.

Guest (not verified) says...

you definitely are right; however, when doing these tests, we should use our core beliefs and not what we think is right. I think this is one of the reasons why ISTJs and ISFJs are the most common, their qualities are most valued in our society. Humble, quiet, hard working, and adhere to social norms.

Piss crumbs (not verified) says...

Good to know I shouldn't make my careers decisions off of this! 

Guest (not verified) says...

That's also my experience. I was also INTP and now am INFJ. I've read that people can and do move from "types" depending on where they are in life, which makes perfect sense.

Guest (not verified) says...

We humans are complicated folks...while these four areas may be dominant, we are probably a mix of a lot more. Certain things that are latent in our youth may emerge as we mature. I was more of an infp as a youth...as i grew older the p, the judgment aspect emerged and i learned to nurture it so that i am more of a practical doer than i once was...

Guest (not verified) says...

I had the same result, and I do believe your perspective changes as you grow.

Guest (not verified) says...

I too took the MBTI test about 15 years ago, when I was 14-15 years old, and at that time I was an INTP, which made sense to me then in all aspects, and now at 29, I am an INFJ, which seems to fit!

Guest (not verified) says...

I'm 14-15 at the moment, and I got INFJ. I wonder how my result will change.

Thushara (not verified) says...

Never worry about the changes in future. Be YOURSELF, NOW! And if you happen to change, if you really would, then you can BE that person THEN. You have a whole lot of years in your life ahead young one!

woofy20 says...

Hey! Me too, well actually first I got INFP, the INTP then INFJ, it seems my personality is gradually becoming more solid yey!

Clinton (not verified) says...

It's striking to me, really, how many other INFJ's were INTP's in their younger years! I, too, am in that boat, having just taken the test again at 29. I'm so fascinated by the idea that our small group of individuals seem to share these similar stories of growing wiser through experience, and that we seem to unanimously come to the same conclusions, ultimately landing us into the INFJ personality type. I find that being a rarity, oftentimes, means feeling misplaced, misunderstood, and alone, and just seeing all these comments, from those whom I definitely consider to be kindred souls, makes me feel so connected and, even more so, downright comforted!! : )

Guest (not verified) says...

I agree that it's really surprising many INTPs have become INFJs in their later years. I was one of those myself. Now looking more into this personality type I feel like I can understand myself so much better. It fits perfectly and it really does feel nice to know there are kindred spirits. One of the greatest things was finding out a friend I was just introduced to was also an INFJ. It's no wonder we got along so well right from the beginning.

Guest (not verified) says...

That's funny. I'm an INFJ and my daughter who everyone says behaves exactly like me is INFP.

janelle_thorsen says...

INFPs and INFJs actually act quite different. Look at more than one source on personality types.

Another infj (not verified) says...

How funny, I was also an infp when I was a teenager, right up until my early 30's
There's definitely something in this.

Thomas (not verified) says...

I am an IFNJ to the core. When I was a kid, we went on a long trip to visit my maternal grandmother, and I got in trouble because I wouldn't talk to her. She WAS a stranger, after all. I studied science and became a nutritionist and formulator. During my working years, I was the counsellor, facilitating understanding and common vision at every level of management, in every direction. I functioned as an IFNP. My company recently changed the CEO, and the new guy removed me from all active management about a year ago, allowing me the opportunity and the pleasure to revert back to a functional INFJ in my quiet room where I can be creative without interruption. The cohesiveness that used to be there in the company is absent, and he doesn't know why. What I know (since I was basically the sole creator of all the company's products), is that I am responsible for changing the core values of the company, and my creativity led to the 5-fold increase in revenue and profit over 17 years, but the CEO, who's been with the company 14 years, doesn't get it. Now, at 60, as I retire from this company, I know that there's likely a train wreck in the making, but I'm going to be enjoying being a teacher and consultant, a leader of creativity and innovation (among those who do recognize my unique knowledge and skills) to care.

Liz. Also an INFJ (no surprise) (not verified) says...

Same here Thomas. Im glad you recognize yr worth. I think it is our quiet way that sometimes allows us to be overlooked in the noisy, pushy world of business. I have had similar experiences myself to the one you describe. Do enjoy yr time ahead. It sounds delightful!

Guest (not verified) says...

I concur regarding our ability to create a cohesive, open, caring and creative environment. I described myself the other day to someone as the glue that fills the cracks and holds all the stuff together. No one ever gives the glue any credit. You never really see it and think that it is a discretionary, disposable "nice to have" vs. "need to have." Enjoy your retirement. Maybe folks will stick together to honor your contributions and meet the standards and expectations for communication and shared vision that you modeled for them.

brentamiller says...

I also find myself being the "glue" that sticks everything together. Very important to the organization, but often taken for granted and pushed aside. Forward, deep thinkers are often disliked by impulsive go getters.

One thing that I find difficult is that I do not enjoy being at the top in the hierarchy, but rather in a supporting position; however, in a sector like education, that often means being at the bottom and not having any control over what happens in your organization.

At the moment I'm struggling with the question of whether to move into educational consulting and work on my own, or to lead a more relaxing life as a simple teacher. How can one be the "glue" that holds things together if you are a freelance?

Thushara (not verified) says...

If I were you, I would treasure the relaxing part. You still can be effective as a teacher, concentrating on your individual pupils rather than the big picture of a large educational system. You can groom individuals to be their best. Good Luck Bantonym!

Guest (not verified) says...

INFJs' THINKING and FEELING are both very well developed therefore you can test INFJ now and INTJ later, especially if you are hormonal.lol.So you are still INFJ but we operate well in thinking mode as well because that gives us the ability to practical demonstrate our ideals and desires to make a difference, we are not mere dreamers we are doers.We are so good, what can I ( WE) say.lol ....and humble...

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