To all the ESFP girls, I need help!
I am an INFP male and recently started a relationship with an ESFP girl. We knew ourselves since 4 years, but never cared about each other until recently. Anyway, me and her like enjoying each others, but I really don't understand what kind of relationship there is between us. I would like a more romantic relationship, but I don't know how to approach her, and above all I can't understand what she thinks about me. I can't get if she is sending signals I should receive, or if she is just being kind, like she is with everyone. For example, last night we were at a party with music: she was dancing, and I was talking with friends. At a point, she comes to me and asks me to dance with her: I obviously accept and go dance with her (well, she dances, I try to), but after a few minutes she turns around and goes dancing with her (female) friends, leaving me veeery confused. It seems to happen every time: we get along together, she makes me think she has an interest in me, and then she leaves leaving me like a stone. I can't help but feel confused.
What do you think she means? What is she trying to tell me, or is it just my imagination? And, above all, how do you think I should approach her and how can I try to take the relationship to the "next level"? I am naturally very shy and humble, and I am hesitant to make the first move because I am afraid of ruining everything and blowing away every chance.
Thanks for reading this far, hope you can help me.
As an INFP currently in a relationship with an ESFP, I feel your pain. We were also friends before we started dating and I never realized that she was actually interested in me, I kind of thought she just flirted with most people to be honest, and I had just convinced myself I was over her when she asked me out. The whole dancing with you and then leaving you behind is a bit confusing, but it doesn't mean she's not interested! I know it's really hard to do (and that I'm a bit of a hypocrite), but you should just ask her on a date, like going to a movie or ice skating or something lowkey like that. Good luck, I believe in you :)
Tell her what you just said ^^^^^!! You already know she has an interest in you, I say you take her on a date or something (she'll see that signal) and tell her that you want to be the "next level" but were always too scared to say anything! Then say something(s) nice about her. And then her true feelings will show! Woo!
I am an ESFP girl and maybe she is just getting distracted! That happens with me! And you may just be in the friend zone....sorry! But if she was wanting to be more then friends she would let you know. Just ask her to "come here" and when she does, pick her up and plant a kiss on her, tell her you have been wanting to do that for years. Women like men who take control also (in a good way). If she doesn't like it, move on!
idk if this helps you may already be with her, but good luck in whatever you do!
Go for it and let her know otherwise she will think of you as weak and you will be friend zoned forever. I know this personality tramples all over weak types so you have got to man up while still being respectful and sensitive if you know what i mean. But definitely let her know and tell her you are much more than being friend zoned. Good luck i hope this reply is not too late.
I'm an ESFP girl and dating a INFP guy right now actually so I understand. In our relationship my boyfriend has always been the more steady and reserved one while I am quite the opposite. So we started our relationship with his persistence in wanting to talk and get to know each other. I often pursued him as well once we got a little further down the road. So to you I would just say stay persistent. Keep asking her to hang out or get coffee or try to talk to her. I'm sure she knows you like her and may like you but may not be sure about it. If she was sure and wanted to date you, you would know it. But outwardly the two types are pretty different so a relationship between the two does not come quickly. You just need to show her what you do have in common and that you are steady and will not be giving up anytime soon!
Don't blame her for leaving quickly though - that's just who we are as ESFPs. My boyfriend still has to deal with feeling like I don't want to talk to him or just left abruptly even though I don't see it as that. We just like to move around and can get distracted easily!
Hope that helps.
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Good Job! and Thank you!
When I meet new people I get almost exact sense of their intentions and it doesn't take long to get a quick look at their values. Honestly it’s never been wrong I just never understood to articulate it to someone else because I couldn't quite understand it myself. Are all ESFP’s like this?
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