I'm still in school, and I feel like everyone around me has no thought proccess, they just do the first thing that comes to their minds. Is this really the case? I have no idea. They all act like idiots, all the time. It makes me so angry that they won't just shut up. They have to values, no morals, it seems like they're all just zombies, teachers and students alike. When I start to talk about intellegent/theoretical things like how we haven't found aliens yet or time travel, I'm met with sighs and dirty looks. Is there any way to cope with this? Do I just have to deal with it until they mature? Is this just how people are? Is there anything to do about it?

Comments

Emily (not verified) says...

As a fellow INTJ female who has ALWAYS felt the same way, my best advise is when you get to college major in something technical, as this will contain more like minded people. In college, join meetups and groups that are also like minded. 

Those people that you are refering to will never change. It will infuriate you that the intellectual conversations that you tried to have with them and the truth that you tried to speak to them they will later "realize" *eye role*. You will be screaming inside saying "I FUCKING TOLD YOU". It's difficult to watch those idiots make bad choices when you can see the behavior patterns and the future implecations.  

The beautiful truth is you are different and VERY rare. This is amazing and infuriating all at the same time. No one will understand you, yet they all wish they could be you. Many will be mad at you purely because they cant understand you and control you. Your intelligence, insight, and ability to not give a fuck are incredible and they are things that others will always envy.  Be unapplogeticly who you are, try to show a little tolerance to those idiots, and soon you will find your people. 

Benz (not verified) says...

I'm an overseas INTJ male(so, sorry for my spelling and grammar in advance). From my own experience (I believe every INTJ don't really have a good time during school period), my advice would be 1) find someone you can open up to talk with(then talk it out) 2) meet psychologist

I know the later one sound abit extreme but since socializingis one of the pain in the a** for any INTJ, both male and female, having some help from psychologist will not only solve this issue in healthy way but also give you numerous knowledge in this field. As for the reason of why you dislike other people, I'm sure the psychologist you're engaging with will know better than anyone of us here. 

Another thing I'd like to advise is to stop being arrogant, as many of NT type(including me) are. Many of us are too pround of our intelligence and feel superior with that, if you are also one of this, sooner when you start to see bigger picture of the world and understand it more, you will realize that it's such an idiot to behave like that. Some mensan INTJ even said that they don't feel any pround of their intelligence, so why should anyone feel then.

PS. Mraz had mention in one of his songs that "If you do it right, you'll love where you are" - then if you interact with people and you're full of irritation, you might be doing something wrong. There are many INTJs having the same problem as yours, some of them even successfully cope with it and wrote it on thier website. 

Be a little more kind, don't control others, control yourself. We are social animal, we truely are.
That would be all. Hope these help :)

Karen - INTJ (not verified) says...

You said it more nicely than I did (and your spelling/grammar is better than the original poster's, so no need to apologize for it).

It's baffling to me, as an INTJ female, how so many INTJs neglect to see their own ugly behavior patterns and manage to develop superiority complexes. I am not perfect and still bow to arrogance on occasion. However, I'm smart enough to know when I'm doing it and smart enough to know that I'm not the only smart person in the room. 

I hate to be so blunt but it's clear that her (unearned, as far as I can tell from this post) arrogance is likely the issue.

 

Karen - INTJ (not verified) says...

Girl, you spelled a huge number of the words in your post wrong (including the word intelligent) and the content of it isn't much better. Being an INTJ does not make you an automatic genius, nor does it mean that it's the basis for how others react to you. Stop being so arrogant. Maybe then, you'll stop getting sighs and dirty looks. 

Meeetzy says...

That's probably because you came to a regular school. I get it that it's frustrating to meet so many people like that in your life but not everyone thinks the way you do, you, more than anyone else, should be able to tell that in the first place before ranting, they don't use their N and T as much as you do, which probably always since you said that you're an INTJ. Accept it, move on.

Back to the questions;

Is there any way to cope with this?

First thing first, no, without move to their level of understanding. Your won't be able to count the number of 'friends' more than one hand, maybe for the rest of your life. Is that mean sucks? No, not really. I find it comforting that I don't really need to reply to many texts every damn minute. Unless you're working and need to be social, that's like, another case. My advice for this question is put your earphone on, read your books, say things when it's necessary, and if no one is talking to you or asking you anything or you feel like you can't say necessary nice things; shut up the drawer, without the drawer.

Do I just have to deal with it until they mature?

Even when they're mature, it won't change anything. They might be more reserve or wiser but their dimensions (the way this site says it) won't change that much over the years, and you, becoming the most logical and intuitive person in the room doesn't mean you're more mature. In my opinion based on your rant, you should mature up too.

Is this just how people are?

Yes, this is the most humanly possible people in the society can do. If you think this is very unhealty for you, good luck trying to find Rick's portal gun or having a hibernation day once a week.

Is there anything to do about it?

Few things:

  • Don't give two-cents about it
  • Name prime number from 100 to 1 every time you feel like run out of patience
  • Don't tell people about your opinion if you're not ready for the backlash
  • Do something else instead of interacting with people
  • And as I said, shut up the drawer, without the drawer

Montezia says...

Sadly it doesn't change much outside of school. In many employment settings people are the same exact way they were in school. They talk about shallow things and are just as superficial about appearances and everything. I'm pretty sure if I wore makeup I'd get noticed more and fit in but I live in a rainy climate so it ain't practical.

At least when you're out of school there isn't forced communication, participation or group activities. Those were the bane of my existence in school. Also I was greatly annoyed by superifical people pretending to be nice.

As much as I hate to admit it the world is still intimidated by smart women. I don't think feminism could ever change this.

INTJ Social Survivor Female (not verified) says...

I, too, find most people narrow minded and vain. My way of coping with it is to focus on myself, and on keeping my thoughts and opinions to myself unless it's necessary to share them, since they're most likely to not follow my train of thought anyway (or understand it). In a nutshell, you can stay in your lane and forget about them.

I do not think people's lack of depth will ever change. You will have to accept this as a part of reality. However, I suggest you keep an eye out in case you meet someone that does have depth, because you might earn a long-term friend. I certainly have kept a few of those by my side. (Not everyone is stupid)

If you want to socialize or connect with anyone you'll have to tone down the arrogance and not impose your ideas on others. My way of playing it safe is to make the conversation about them and not about my ideas. Most people enjoy ranting about themselves, since humans are inherently egocentric. Do not take me wrong, some people will enjoy listening to your ideas, but others just won't get it. That's okay. If that's the case and you want to keep the conversation/relationship going (e.g. friends and/or family), make it about them and don't judge them. However, don't be afraid of being yourself either.

As an INTJ myself, I have found that even though most people are not as intelligent as I'd like them to be, there is something I can learn from them anyway. Whether that's how hardworking, obedient or persistent they are. I focus on that and it helps me deal with my frustration and be more accepting of others. 

I suggest you find someone or something that allows you to share your ideas. That might help you with the urge of rubbing your truth on people's faces (which I feel too). I used to be very harsh, perfectionist and arrogant, but I've done a lot of introspection to tone it down since it's more of a handicap than a good thing. I think our way of escaping how miserable we perceive reality is by getting inside our heads, but that can be detrimental. So be careful. 

Anyway, eat your veggies and have some patience with people's incompetence. It gets better with time :)

INTJ Social Survivor Female (not verified) says...

I, too, find most people narrow minded and vain. My way of coping with it is to focus on myself, and on keeping my thoughts and opinions to myself unless it's necessary to share them, since they're most likely to not follow my train of thought anyway (or understand it). In a nutshell, you can stay in your lane and forget about them.

I do not think people's lack of depth will ever change. You will have to accept this as a part of reality. However, I suggest you keep an eye out in case you meet someone that does have depth, because you might earn a long-term friend. I certainly have kept a few of those by my side. (Not everyone is stupid)

If you want to socialize or connect with anyone you'll have to tone down the arrogance and not impose your ideas on others. My way of playing it safe is to make the conversation about them and not about my ideas. Most people enjoy ranting about themselves, since humans are inherently egocentric. Do not take me wrong, some people will enjoy listening to your ideas, but others just won't get it. That's okay. If that's the case and you want to keep the conversation/relationship going (e.g. friends and/or family), make it about them and don't judge them. However, don't be afraid of being yourself either.

As an INTJ myself, I have found that even though most people are not as intelligent as I'd like them to be, there is something I can learn from them anyway. Whether that's how hardworking, obedient or persistent they are. I focus on that and it helps me deal with my frustration and be more accepting of others. 

I suggest you find someone or something that allows you to share your ideas. That might help you with the urge of rubbing your truth on people's faces (which I feel too). I used to be very harsh, perfectionist and arrogant, but I've done a lot of introspection to tone it down since it's more of a handicap than a good thing. I think our way of escaping how miserable we perceive reality is by getting inside our heads, but that can be detrimental. So be careful. 

Anyway, eat your veggies and have some patience with people's incompetence. It gets better with time :) They'll still be like zombies but that doesn't mean they're worthless. 

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