I’m an infp college student studying animation and illustration and honestly i’ve lost all inspiration, self identity, I’m doubting the path I’m taking - and yet I can’t see myself doing much else.
I used to be so imaginative before I started my “journey to self-improvement” a few years ago. When ever I got anxious, I could escape in whatever fantasy I could sprout out of nowhere or through the cartoons I binge watched every day. But now that i’ve stopped, started to live in reality and truely began to start facing and dealing with my problems . I can’t connect with people, create my own art or any develop my interests.
I can still draw well, however what I draw is all pretty disapointing since it has no meaning. I’ve lost my passion and I don’t know what to draw which is not good for my art portfolio for getting into university. I don’t know myself and struggle with creating an indenty due to my self conciousness - I have almost no personality.
My childhood wasn’t the greatest. I got a lot of Critisism - for what I liked, what I did, who I was. Even if it wasn’t said to me, it was said in front of me so even disagreeing with something my mum or sister wanted me to look/be like then it was explained to me that the way I thought was stupid. I am better at dealing with it now and it’s reduced dramatically as those people matured and moved out but I still think it’s important for me to get out of this environment which means it’s vital for me to go to uni. On the other hand my mental state is going to make it hard to live on my own if I can’t connect with people and I can’t do that if I don’t know myself nor know my interests.
Does any infps have any advice with focusing on my own interests and beliefs rather than my being controlled by my self consciousness.
Note: On any mbti test I would always get infp so i know I’m this type no doubt. I’m not a total sheep, I don’t go against my morals (being disrespectful, rude, complaining about someone without them knowing) and a naturally sensitive person.)