So apparently I am a INTJ; I've been extremely successful in everything I've ever put my mind to although human connection I seem to have trouble with.
I am relatively monotone when it comes to expressing my feelings towards others and that seems to be a problem for some people, especially when it comes to romantic type relationships and I've been told by multiple people that I am "cold."

Anyone have some advice?


Guest (not verified) says...


As a fellow INTJ i can only say that i share your experience. Through my relationships i have been called: cold, distant, non-caring and a couple of times i have even been called a timebomb. Over the years (37yrs old/young now) i just kinda emulated and intellectuallized romance. It works pretty ok.

That would be my tip, make your partners need for attention or romance in to a piece of the puzzle, and solve it. Your partner will be happy and that makes you a happy camper ;) (know what i mean? Nudge nudge... ;)

For my own self, i have come to terms with the fact that i am unable to feel the happiness other ppl display so vividly. I will never be one of those "happy" ppl, which is fine by me. I would choose a dinner and a good talk anyday over blissful happiness.

I don´t know if my reply helps you in anyway, but maybe it can give you some reference?

Good luck hunting happiness and a partner that "gets" you.



(All and any misstakes with grammar and/or spelling is du to English being my second language.)

stark027 says...

"Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." So, first make sure sincere concern and interest for the other person is in your heart. Then put forth the effort to express it to that person, even if that is not how you are inclined. The other person cannot read your mind; she/he needs to hear it. Have plenty of actions that show you sincerely care about the other person, too.

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