I'm an INTJ. My boyfriend is an ENTP. We usually get along like soul mates, but every once in a while, he loses his temper and snaps at me for no real reason. In 3 years, it's happened maybe 3 times. When he snaps, its vicious and incredibly hurtful.
As an INTJ, my natural reaction is to recoil and lick my wounds. Even if he apologizes immediately, I need some time for the burn to stop. I don't lash at him or anything. I just don't talk to him. I literally can't.
So, when I've gotten over the burn and come to him, HE'S shut down and tearing himself up for hurting me. I end up apologizing for him being hurt for hurting me.
Is this normal for an ENTP or not?? I don't feel that it's normal. I feel that it's manipulative behavior. Am I wrong? We've had wonderful, deep communication. I know he feels deeply just as I do as an INTJ.
Is he really hurt for hurting me or making it about himself??