Which personality type would be a perfect match for an INTJ? Could it be more than one personality type?


Keith Hays says...

To a large extent it depends on your individual makeup even as a confirmed INTJ and your maturity level, but as a confirmed INTJ for the last 30 years, my best relationships have been with INFJ, INFP, and the ENFP.

I can tell you that you will be almost immediately drawn in by INFP's if you have more than a 5-minute conversation with them.  This is kind of wildfire of a relationship. Be careful with them though. They have a tendency to be very open at first, but might suddenly bolt if you come on too strong. 

The INFJ is very similar, but with a lower burning intensity that can last a lot longer and are not likely to bolt  My ex is INFJ and we were married for 26 years and are still a very good friend that talk ever day.  

ENFP's are a bit new to me and require that I shift my thinking slightly, and they require a fair amount of getting to know them before you start to like them, but they the best combination of the other two, in my opinion, they are very strong, steady, communicative like the INFJ with the same sparks that the INFP engender, but unlike the INFP, they are not as likely to bolt.  

Overall, any one of the 3 would be good.  Some INTJ's can handle more communication and emotions coming their way than others.

ENFP's tend to get put out as the ideal match. This is because they have  Extroverted Thinking and Introverted Feeling in their functional stack which is the same as the INTJ but in swapped order. The also have N which means advanced pattern recognition. Theirs will be Extroverted and ours is Introverted which is also a good pairing aspect. 

The P/J combination can be a good one if the INTJ is not completely off the scale on the Introversion and the Thinking part.  This is because the (P) in ENFP means you are going to explore a lot of possiblities which can tax these more disconnected types of INTJ's.

Introversion (the I) to me, indications to what extent the Inner world is more real vs the E of the Extrovert, meaning the outside world is more real.  (T)thinking really means that our decision making is impersonal as opposed to the F which would be Personal.  

Rating heavily in the Inner world (70% or more) and impersonal(70% or more) will make it very difficult to connect with even the most dedicated campaigning ENFP, so if you are going to look for and be in a relationship, you must make a conscious plan to engage with the person you want to be in the relationship with. 


Klutch says...

INTJ here. I've had two serious relationships, one with another INTJ, and my current one with an ENFP.

I enjoyed conversing with the INTJ, however we frequently butted heads. We both had strong opinions and were quick to share them.

The ENFP is my fiancee. I think this is more of an opposites attract situation. She's outgoing, funny, sweet, loyal (all of which my previous INTJ partner wasn't).

SierraMercury (not verified) says...

Glad things are going well with your ENFP, but I sincerely hope you don't think most INTJs are the opposite of your ENFP. As an INTJ woman, I'm known to be outgoing, sweet, warm after opening up to people and extremely loyal. Mature INTJs are especially known to be this way because after we mature, our tertiary function (Fi) is more often used, and this can cause us to be quite different than what the stereotypes would suggest.

I'm also hoping you're not just relying on the dichotomies (E/I, N/S or P/J) to type people without looking up the cognitive functions (Fi, Te, Ni, Ti, Se or etc), since they often result to mistypes. Actually, ENFPs are often known for being too indecisive and playful, which results to them often being associated with being disloyal. This doesn't mean all ENFPs will be this way, it just means unhealthy ENFPs can be so, just like how the INTJ you were referring to seems to be unhealthy, that or she's mistyped.

But yeah, I've noticed that people seem to really love the whole ENFP/INTJ dynamic, and the 2 types do seem to have good chemistry.

Klutch (not verified) says...

SierraMercury, As far as cognitive ability goes, I'm a member of Mensa & my IQ is in the genius range. I hadn't heard of Jung's cognitive function analysis. I need to read up on it. 

You seem like an interesting person, & you know a lot about this. Would you like to chat? My email is ************* at gmail dot com. (Yes, I know the name is silly, it's not my business email).

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larry the bandicoot (not verified) says...

it depends on the exact INTJ, but here are my thoughts: 

I've read about an ENTP and INTJ having a great relationship more than once. 

My INTJ brother took the test to see which type is best for him in a relationship and got INFJ, however he is dating an INTP. INTP and INTJ are probably better as friends than a romantic relationship, but it could work. My brother might not be the best example though, he's pretty low with both introversion and judging, but he's the only INTJ I've met personally, so..

I've seen INTJ and ENFP work as a friendship, between my brother and someone else, and they were extremely close. I've never seen a romantic relationship between the two, but I'm assuming from the other comments here that it's a good match.

what's probably most important is not to only care about a potential partner's type. If you think you might love an ESFP, or a type that's not really so "compatable" with INTJ like ESFJ or ISFP, then don't be weighed down thinking you two can't form a wonderful relationship. 

Patrick Harvill (not verified) says...

Well like many INTJs my relationships haven't been exemplary. Calmness has attracted fiery people.  Extremely high standards combined with naive belief got me my last ex, the biggest liar I've ever met ?.  Also she was an "S" with a mercenary bent. Not recommended.  The N seems key.  I'm still in touch with an INFJ girl friend of almost 20 years ago.  I could never meet her deep well of emotional needs, and we kept decisively breaking up with each other, but every INFJ is different.  A recent girlfriend also was "N" we connected also.  Types are helpful but we vary so much within them.  I am looking for "N" and open to anything else, personally.

Nach (not verified) says...

There is no such thing as a perfect "eternal" match. Only immediate priorities determine who you go for at what stage of your life.

In my early teen years, I found that INFPs were very much into me, but I was Feeling blind, so I enjoyed their Ne-universe more than their emotional depth. In my late teens, ENFPs were my friends and I enjoyed listening to their adventures or roaming around with them and talking about the world. Still, I wasn't into anyone in a romantic way.

In my 20s, I discovered the world of physical sensations and pleasures and was sought by/flying high with ISxPs. We had great times and lots of misunderstandings: they wanted me to be more F, I was too much into S to give in. Still, I learnt a lot from them and I still touch base with some (mostly ISTPs).

Now in my early 30s, I'm reconciliating myself with my NT-ness and find that I attract and gel naturally with INTx in a deliciously diffused but still intense and most complete way. We have the most intellectual discussions with genuine banter and strong enthusiasm for each other's whole. There is nothing wild or unrestrained, just a pure connection that actually lasts regardless of distance or time lapsed. The attraction is primal and beyond words: no emotional fantaisising as with xNFPs, no physical sensationalising as with ISxPs.

So yes, I can only see myself with an INTx (currently seeing eye to eye with an INTP, after a serious mishap with an autistic-but-undiagnosed-at-the-time INTJ), as everyone else pales in comparison.

I'm and INTj 5w6 woman whose dad was an INTJ, whose mum is an ESFP, and whose siblings are xSFP, ISTP and ESFJ. My dad got married 3 times in his short 50something years life (the joy of polygamy!) and I was determined NOT to go through the same nonsense. I have experimented with boy/male friends of all types (often at the expenses of my feelings, but for a good cause!) so that I could figure out what is it that I want and what is it that I can offer in a intimate relationship.

If that can be called the perfect recipe for finding romantic fulfillment, well...so be it! :)

Calla (not verified) says...

I am female INTJ and I have the best experiences with an ENTP. We were in relationship for 3 years but then we broke up. Then I dated an ESFJ and it was not great match. But after six months I started dating the ENTP again and it lasts until now. An ENTP type introduces the best match for me. 

INTP or ENFJ are good matches too, but ISFJ is the worst. I have no experiences with ENFPs but it dont ever reach out me. I can imagine a relationship with an INFJ but I think it wont be perfect.

In my opinion is the best match ENTP (second one maybe INTP :))


Jameson Ewigleben (not verified) says...

I am an ENFP my wife is an INTJ. We have been married for 12 years and have two children. For me the personality types compliment each other. I push her to open up and connect with her feelings and other people and she helps me see the importance of organisation. I would say she is crazy and a bit cold at times but my adherence to the things I value, such as love, allow me to rise above the fiery arguments that can take place from the contrast. ENFP types hold on to the things they value and believe in, making us great partners for someone that others perceive as emotionally distant. ENFPs don't give up on someone they love. We value the connection to a fault. If we love you we will never give up on you, we will always be there for you when you need us. We value your intelligence and your stoicness. It is what we lack. You help us become better as we help you feel the world.

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