Fellow ENTJs, how do you do? *curtsies* I feel like I'll be preaching to the choir here so I really hope I get some cool dialogue going with this one. That said, as ENTJs, we're ambitious, passionate, & possess many talents & abilities, right? So we get it! We tend to do well in most or all things we decide to tackle, career wise at least lOl. Only, I feel like I hit the same fork in the road every time that I'm really in the groove of something I'm in pursuit of. The free spirited, live in the now, have the grandest of times, build myself & my empire by working my ass off, getting shet done, creating a great life for myself & my loved ones. OOOR the, I got to make an impact SO more ppl can have the luxury of having that option/freedom, so spend my time gathering as much data, & by doing as MUCH of what I WANT to do (quickly, temporarily) with the limited time I have, with balancing what I NEED to do for humanity (slowly, for the long haul).

Now, the latter is what I usually take, only because the more I've indulged that path, the more full I've felt in my purpose. So I'm 99% sure I'm happy with building infrastructures to make a better world for others (which inevitably effects mine too, it's not totally selfless haha), & that's where most of our talents lie anyway, so I'm happy to make my work, be what I love. Plus, I feel super blessed & spoiled when I come across so many ppl that are stuck in the rat race of life & that don't realize this world is a projection of our reality, we make what we want from it! I can't live with myself to not AT LEAST TRY to facilitate as many ppl as possible to live in their truth. But I can't lie, sometimes feel like an idiot, or contridictive, cuz my actions sometimes voyage over to the other side exclusively (temporarily, but still exclusive) cuz I keep thinking "I'm so young & what if I died tomorrow!" haha! Now, I understand it's a lot of pressure feeling this way (I'm 24) but it's something I feel everyone NEEDS to think about & most importantly do something about.

So now I come to you with questions, I'm sick & tired of getting mad at myself when I keep hesitating every time I get that fork in any given situation. Will that "maybe I should just live for me & mine" feeling ever go away? Or will this be a constant obstacle? And for those of you who chose living for yourself, how have you come to that conclusion? I feel both is necessary to have in our ecosystem (so don't feel bad), but granted ENTJs are the ones with the innovative & disruptive personality types, I feel like we're more the ones who enjoy building then participating. Idk guys, just some random babbles haha, let me know your thoughts, either way!


antheliadfranklin says...

Wow I didn't know other people felt that way too. I have always kept it to myself . I didn't think others would understand. I am a bit older then you and it's like I have had to live with one foot on each side of the issue. It wasn't until my youngest daughter started showing signs of the same problem that I started putting it together better. There is a balance but it isn't for the weak of heart. For me I found a job outside what was expected for my gender. So I got to blaze a trail for others. As a women in the military I got the best of both sides I helped keep the wolves at bay and defend my country and do things that were exciting, things most people let alone women will ever get to do. I also raised 4 children, two boys and 2 girls. Teaching them to be good honest hard working productive members of society well lets say biting off more then I could chew is nothing new. Now I tell my children and my grand children what I wish someone had said to me. It's from my favorite movie "in 50 years when you look back at your life don't you want to be able to say " I got in the car"

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