Many similar questions may have been discussed on the forum before but I just feel the need to post mine regardless..

I have been dating with my ENTP boyfriend for half year - I know not typically long. We pretty much have been staying together in the same flat for most of the time with no problems at all. Two months ago he told me he has to move to a big city soon for his new career and we had a pretty deep but logical conversation. He recognised he actually do love me but we both understand that it's better for us to separate for now since I'm still a uni student and he's not, tho we still haven't ended our relationship.

Friends have always been a huge part in his life and I appreciate. However it upset me that he could just totally ignore my messages when he's in his friends place. He would go on to Messenger and reply all his friend group messages but read and not answering mine. As an INFP person, I feel like this emotion almost devours me, especially we are now apart. I don't know how can I tell him my feeling because I don't want to be needy in anyway, plus I'm not even sure if I have the right or position to say this anymore since we suppose to end our relationship this month or next.

Can anyone tell me am I just overthink that he doesn't care about me anymore or I should actually stop justify it because he really doesn't care? Personally I can't give myself an sensible yet logical answer anymore. Thank you!

Comments

liquidpixels says...

Hi, firstly, sorry to hear that you're going through this, it's not a nice situation to be living by any means.

Sadly, I dont feel you're overthinking. You have every right to be thought of and responded to 'while he's with friends' this should have zero effect on his feelings for you. There is no reason why you should have to justify his behaviour with anything but "distant and cold" if you've made your feelings aware to him, talked it through and he still doesn't make you feel needed when you need to, then I'd say move on.

You have your life to expereince and each day wasted hoping he will share his life with you, is a day you're missing new opportunities.

The prospect of moving on may seem dark at the moment you can't see the street lights util you get out the alley. Let yourself be free of that worry. Start to look forward and elsewhere and feel positive about it. We ALL deserve it.

I hope you can find the strength to give this a good, healhty go.

Take care, let us know how you travel.

Sheldon Shoemaker says...

Well, it definately seems like he doesn't "really" like you.  ENTP are known for moving on too easily.  As an INFP I would imagine it hard to find someone who wants to have as much sincere connect as you.  As you know, there are many fish in the sea.  I always get barely extroverted on tests, so I am pretty much XNTP.  I am trying to get a relationship started with this INFP girl in North Carolina, haha, but she's taking online courses instead of going to university with me, blah blah blah.

You're definately not over thinking it.  He just sounds very ambitious.  Ambitious people are a bit more practival when it comes to emotions and don't get attatched quite easily, so I would say he's full of crap when it comes to loving you. In that regard move on and there's gotta be some guys you're looking for at the university or eventually there will be a not so hearltess one : )

Heather the Weather (not verified) says...

As an ENTP he can feel quite deeply, but his analysis always ends up directing the path of his relationships.  So if he has analyzed that going forward with you is not in your or his best interest, it really makes no difference what he is feeling.   He will take steps to end both his own feelings towards you and your feelings towards him.   So not answering your messenger messages is his way of being resolute about the direction he has analysed this relationship needs to go in.    

At the end of the day, however, it really makes no difference what personality type someone has.  If they treat you like crap, they are treating you like crap.   Understanding why they are treating you that way might be helpful for your own healing, but the fact is that by not answering you, this guy is treating you like crap, even if he is telling himself it is for the best.   Anyone who treats you like crap is not someone worth sticking around for, no matter what four letter personality they have - C.R.A.P. is a four letter personality he is showing you regardless of his ENTP.

Teatime (not verified) says...

It's never okay for someone to ignore texts from their girlfriend/boyfriend. I'm sorry that he does so. This is a classic ENTP move, though most of us don't respond to ANY messages to allay suspicion. Maybe he does it because you're not giving him much material to respond to, or because he really cares and wants not to screw up. However, it's not right and you should tell him so, he can probably take it.

Guest (not verified) says...

This is so accurate in every respect. I agree completely.
Phone calls can also be a great substitution to messaging, as I think it feels more real that there is another person on the other end and it's harder to get distracted.

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