Hi.. Just new to this.. Not at all skeptical, as the test and from what I've been reading I'm definitely an ENFJ.. Hope this is isn't too silly for this forum.. I've kinda fallen in love with a fellow ENFJ.. So my question is, is this a good match?


Markus (not verified) says...

First of all I´m pretty happy for you and ENFJ is definitly an exciting type, but maybe I´m just saying this because I´m an ENFJ for myself :P

I´m a little critical if someone asks throgh the linse of typology if someone is a good match, because in something so complex as love it doesn´t only rely on the type. Personality is a lot more than that.

But you definitly can talk about what difficulties or benefits it could have dating someone with the same type as you:
First of all it´s kind of the easy solution. You share the same cognitive functions and so if both of you really want a relationship, there shouldn´t be a lot of problems based on communiocation and general understanding of the other.
But if you are too similiar it can also become boring a lot easier. Above that you tend to look for your own weaknesses in your partner and no suprise you might find there a lot, because you´re the same type.

And than every type has his own struggles in relationships:
For ENFJs it has a lot to do with harmony. We tend to value everybody beeing in a good mood over efficiency and sometimes even "the truth". If both partners are in the constant work for this it might be a really good relationship, but it might also fall apart, because you started not talking about important stuff.
Another ENFJ problem is dealing with a lack of appreciation. This shouldn´t be a big problem, because ENFJs are natural motivators, but it also can lead in kind of the same situation as before.
Both are captured in a battle of taking care of each other to seek attention.
ENFJs can burn-out and get frustrated about the partner if this happens.

As I said before: It is impossible to foresee the behavior of an induvidual with MBTI and therfor there is no "perfect match". If you are interested in him/her, go for it!

It is pretty common to speak about INFPs as the perfect match for ENFJ, because their functions counterpart each other. The shadow as part of the subconscious mind plays a huge role in the sexuality and the INFP is kind of the shadow-ENFJ with introverted Feeling, extraverted Intuition, introverted Sensing and extraverted Thinking.
So that explains a little bit the attraction of beeing different. But it also is a challenge which could help both of you in growing your personality.

Others say you should watch out for types with the same conscious functions but in different order to help each other growing their less developed functions (most of the time they speak of the second function). For the ENFJ this would be the INFJ or very challenging the ESTP and ISTP.
With those last 2 I most of the time don´t really feel to have that much in common, but it´s definitly worth a thought.

I prefer most of the time Intuitives, because I feel that I share more with those people. When I talk to Sensors I kind of feel a lack of depth in their thoughts, because they value facts and details more than ideas. And I like Introverts, because I like their calm and thoughtfull style more than my own active and energetic type.
So INTJ and INTP are pretty interesting, too.

As I told you, I can´t say which is the perfect type and if you could say taking the same type is a "good match", but I hope I could help you understanding what it means and what effect several type-combination could have on a relationship.
For you and all the other ENFJs out there: let me know if you think about certain stuff, like the Introvert-Intuitive-attraction the same.

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