I have wondered most of my life why I did not fit in with my family, my extended family, my comunity and the world at large.

Wow. INFJ. Well, that explains the vast majority of my dealings with people who have crossed my path. What really hit home the most was my tendency to withdraw from someone as soon as I sensed deceit or manipulation on the part of the other person. Being an INFJ, I have the skills sets to be a master manipulator, but my personal values will not let me even entertain that nasty idea, let alone carry it out.

It is lonely at times - but I will not compromise, I will not 'go with the flow', I will not subscribe to the social acceptance rituals so prevalent in the world. This includes my community, church and family.

Walking to the beat of a different drum, I see and experience everything according to my inner values. I do not listen to gossip; why should I? Within a few seconds of meeting someone new, I know more about who they are than they will ever learn about themselves in a lifetime.

Re the above - I used to beleve that I was just very, very good at reading body language. Then I realized that I could read microexpressions. Still thought it was just a knack.

No. There is much more to it than mere learned communication skills. I can read people at a distance without any face to face contact.

Searching for answers, I turned to the King James Bible. In 1st Corinthians, I learned about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. My gift?


Any other INFJ's out there care to comment?


theherbwoman (not verified) says...


Thinking required.

Guest (not verified) says...


Yep, Discernment is the gift we have, although justifying our assessments to other people is often difficult, and living by a strong core value system can be an issue at times whenever compromise is demanded among families or in business situations.

I do find myself drained by others, but finally I understand my need to withdraw and ‘de-frag’ for a few hours each week is mandatory: Many of my friends know that Saturday mornings is my downtime and not negotiable.

However, I find myself in the least likely choices of employment, that as a live-in residential property manager. It’s tough to draw personal boundaries, tough to tolerate certain tenants who have self-inflicted problems. My freelance work as an editor and the fact that the owners allow me to plant as many flowers as I want around the property keeps me sane: Flowers and fresh garden vegetables will make any smile.

Good people (tenants, coworkers, family members) respect us for our integrity and honesty; ‘players’ resent us. Trust when you sense a red flag, but don’t waste your time tilting at windmills. People are mostly treasures and life is exciting.
Embrace our quirks, for they are our strengths.

Lijacleanin says...

U are perfect just the way u are :)

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