I found out a couple of months ago that I was an INFP. It all made sense. I had asked my therapist, "Why am I like the way I am?" I have trouble being around people. I have to hide and recharge after work or doing anything around groups. I go out of my way to avoid people. And watching the news or seeing something in the paper that is about people being hurt or mean to each other "hurts" me. I, as I have gotten older, cannot take all of this hate and aggression in the world. Also, when I watch an "emotional" movie, I am crying like a baby. Too many things just hurt to hear or see. I told my therapist, "I feel to much."

Like so many other conversations on here, I will say it. Does anyone else feel this way?

Comments

Guest (not verified) says...

I agree, I have always felt the need to be in a small group of friends or family, being out of my element when I am in a crowd. I stopped watching news a long time ago because it would play on me and I would spend time thinking about the brutality and hatred in the world and I prefer not to live that way. I find I can pickup peoples feelings and pain when I talk to them. I often give advice that people find helpful. I really never plan or think out my advice but it sort of just comes out of nowhere. After looking back I have many times gave advice that people have thanked me for and appreciated.
After I discovered that I am a INFP (I took like 4 different test with the same results) I have made steps to accept my role as a healer and when needed offer my insights to people I feel need help. You may find accepting who you are and what your INFP ability offers is a good thing and you can make yours and others life's a little better and perhaps this will make you happier.

dunkie22 says...

Thanks so much. It is nice to be validated. Also, I appreciate your suggestions. This is exactly what I hoped to gain from this site.

Guest (not verified) says...

I can also relate with the "feel too much" comment. I have only in the past year become aware of my personality type and what that means. I've tested several times since then and always INFP-T sometimes closer to the center on extraverted, sometimes not. Looking back on certain comments I've made or questions/observations I've gotten I can see it all so clearly now. I recall once telling my kids that the reason I liked comedy, horror, or action adventure movies over dramas or more "touchy-feely" movies is because I don't like to feel feelings. They looked at me like I had grown 2 heads. I realized after saying it that it made me seem like a feelingless monster. I'm not, clearly, it's just the opposite. I've explained to many people over the years that things like movies, books, and tv are meant to be entertainment and there is enough pain and hurt and suffering in reality why do I need that for entertainment? My ex (ESTJ) used to love watching the show Intervention (documentary on addicts and their struggle and confrontation by family/friends) and I would constantly ask him to watch it when I wasn't around. He couldn't understand why it bothered me so much, it's not like I knew those people. No, I didn't, but I "felt" everything they were feeling. It was such a dark and depressing show that would leave me unsettled afterward. I just couldn't understand how he could just watch it as entertainment. He also gave me a hard time for never keeping up in current events. I used to. I used to read all the current world events and could hold a lengthy insightful conversation about the current war or politics. I still find world events interesting but without any seeming reason I just stopped reading or watching the news. I could tell you the latest celebrity gossip but would have no idea there was a bombing in France (except for social media of course). In the same vein, the books I read are typically what I call "fluffy". I prefer to know I can rely on the hero and heroine happily riding off into the sunset together rather than finding out in the last chapter that he/she suddenly dies unexpectedly of cancer. Who willingly subjects themselves to that!!?!

So, in summary, I can't help you at all I guess other than to say you're not alone and its probably normal for us INFPs.

dunkie22 says...

But you did help me. Knowing that I am not the only one like this, have the same depth of feelings, and in some cases avoidance of feelings, really helps. I love the way you just "talked to me" in your response. I love genuine feelings. I like the same movie genres as you, but sometimes will watch something that really touches me. I avoid graphic violence, movies where people are abused, and I certainly try to avoid the "person fights for their life (cancer, abuse, etc..) and then dies. I love mindless books and rarely will pick up one that brings out a lot of emotions. Unfortunately, I have a habit or getting too emotional on the smallest thing. Watching the Olympics will make me tear up. Still, I try to get away from those things that just are too much for my emotions to handle. I do not like emotional pain. So, again, thank you so much for sharing. Your words really touched me..in a good way!

Amylee.beck says...

I'm glad you found it helpful! I have to agree on the Olympics. Not so much the competition parts for me but when they win or during the awards ceremony I tear up. It's just so emotionally charged. Similar to weddings, funerals, graduations, etc. I don't cry for my own feelings on it. They can be people I don't even know. It's just the charged atmosphere of everyone else's feelings that I pick up on. So yes, avoidance is my MO. I hate that almost as much as I hate the overly emotional responses to things. Can't there be a happy medium for us? :)

dunkie22 says...

I doubt it. I was watching this movie on Netflix, High Strung. It was sappy, and I knew where it was going and how it would end, but I loved it. At the end, I am tearing up/choking up from watching it. It just does not take much anymore. When I was younger, I was pretty emotional, but would not get so emotional as I do now. I do not have an explanation, and it does scare me a little. People can't handle a man that is as emotional as I am. Such is life. I don't want to worry about it since it is me, and I have lived too long wondering about why I am the way I am. Now, I just accept who and how I am.

MarlieJo (not verified) says...

I am the same way! And I totally understand. I am only 20 years old and so unlike anyone I know. Sometimes it feels as if I will be consumed by waves of emotion...normally waves of sadness and sorrow. I have struggled with depression in the past and anxiety over the things happening around me...but knowing who I am (INFP) has helped. I also used to say "I feel too much"and I loathed it. But as I get older and I watch the world around me I have learned to embrace the intense and uncontrollable waves of emotion that rush over me as strengths. I can look at people and know their hurt and anger and desperation like it is my own, and though I may suffer quite a bit from it, I am able to love them and give them the comfort that they need in whatever situation they are in. Maybe it isn't that WE love too much...maybe it is that the rest of the world doesn't love enough.

INFPoet (not verified) says...

Feel too much (I've said it a million times!) and love too hard. I wouldn't change a thing about it. The world needs us. I love you people, my people. Marliejo, your waves of emotion analogy is one I've used myself. Almost everything you say could be my own words. When I was younger I used to think I was weird. Now I know I was made for a purpose. The world needs ME...just the way I am. Strand strong INFPs! Fight hard! Love true! Walk with Jesus.

dunkie22 says...

For someone who is 20, you are very wise. You just rocked my world. "The world doesn't love enough." Simply beautiful. My problem with the intense emotion and numerous tears is that I am a guy. An older guy that has been a cop, been in the army, and was an officer in the Navy. These, of course, were all attempts by myself to find myself. But the deal is, if you look at me, you do not see the very caring and emotional being inside me. You see a façade. As a result of this façade, people do not expect, nor can they understand, when I express the emotions within me. Such is life. I no longer care, because I am unique. I, like a few others, just care about others and want to take care of them. That is why I became a special education teacher. I found myself, my calling. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it.

caddored says...

I am so very happy to have found this site. I'm reading all these comments and thinking "Me too!"

I stopped watching the news years ago. While I do read books with more intense subjects, I read them while alone, so I can feel all the emotions without the backlash...and by that, I mean that I feel the characters emotions, so I'm angry/sad/depressed when they are. I have to literally decompress after reading an intense scene. I usually only read feel-good romances when around people because they are usually happy. I stopped reading Danielle Steel because someone always dies. I also tear up during emotional commercials so I'm usually a teary mess during Christmas. I can tune things out when I read, so when I have to be in the same room, and everyone is watching the news or an emotionally charged program, I'm able to tune everything out and read my happy romance.

I empathize with everyone and I'm able to put myself in their shoes. Very emotionally draining so I often try to only watch happy things (big on animation) and others are like "Aren't you too old for that?" or "Don't you want to find out what is happening in the world?" The answers are no and not really, too depressing.

I too think the world doesn't feel enough, doesn't emphasize enough, can't put themselves in another's shoes and that's the reason the world sucks right now. Too busy using someone as a step to get higher on the food chain to care. Very depressing, but I'm so happy I found this place and like-minded people. I'm very sure you all will help me stay sane in the years to come =)

dunkie22 says...

WOW! I just met my emotional twin! I told my doctor the other day, "I can't live in this world." As you pointed out, people trampling on people to just get ahead. There is the ugliest presidential race that I have ever seen. People killing each other because of race or sexual identity, and just killing because their religious beliefs demand it. I enjoy some "deep" movies, but not ones where people are terrorized and physically injured. I like books that take me to another place. I like feeling, but I like feeling when I want to. I want to stick my head in the sand, because I do not want to suffer emotionally. Person: Doctor, it hurts when I do this. Doctor: stop doing it...

Tal (not verified) says...

Yes, I do feel like that all the time. Sometimes I feel so much that it makes me physically sick...I have learned to embrace my emotional ,even fragile side but what really frustrates me is that there isnt anyone in my life who would understand the way i work or the way i feel so there is no point in explaining myself...Finding out that i am an INFP and being able to find more people who feel like me saved my life

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