My wife seems to be an:
ESTJ / ESFJ
Supervisor, Executive / Provider, Sentinel, Consul (& Turbulent).
- but with tendencies toward:
I'm an arty, slightly flaky, introverted, disorganised INFP who can't settle for 'work for work's sake'. I need a higher purpose. I'm also indecisive and look for the middle-ground with people and situations.
What can I do to ease/improve the relationship? I read some opinions elsewhere this morning, that these business-like ESTJs basically expect everyone else to change to be more like them. And that things have to be done their way, no matter what.
WHAT I CAN (try hard to) DO:
I can see that even if I can't change my fundamental personality, there ARE behaviours that I could improve upon, so that I rub her the wrong way less, such as:
- Being more organised
- Being moreFocussed
- Being more disciplined
- Having 'my act together'
- Having a plan
- Being more decisive
- Being less 'emotional'
- Be less flaky
- Be more goal-oriented
- Get things done
- Have a plan - but follow through on it
I think most people would agree that these are all positive things to strive for anyway.
WHAT COULD BE COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE:
Giving in to everything without question - and just obeying and pandering. I'd be concerned that I could end up creating a monster. My dad let my mum away with her behaviour (obnoxious and angry - in her case), and now she's a 70+ year old, spoilt brat, demon who just shouts all of the time.
Giving in, and never questioning could make my wife - over time - even harder to please. As the bar is raised, the potential for me annoying her could increase.
Any thoughts, folks?