My girlfriend is an ISTJ. She's great. Very reliable, loyal and kind. But somehow, I'm looking for something more than what we have. I'm afraid we would end up unhappy. What should we do?

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guest (not verified) says...

I am a mature female ENTP and my ex husband ( read ex haha ) was an ISTJ and it took me years to discover MB and realize the extreme friction between us. ISTJs can be quite rigid, non-spontaneous, controlling and most of all ( the death rattle for an ENTP ) they have virtually zero interest or ability to engage in intellectual discussion. If you wish to only talk about the mundane details of your day in agonizing detail, then, by all means, go for it. lol
ISTJs are loyal and reliable and very solid people but they will not provide intellectual stimulation and unless you wish to end up feeling like you are trying to have a stimulating conversation with a loaf of sourdough well...most likely not a match made for the ENTP.

Find another intuitive type for best results.

Guest (not verified) says...

I love My ENTP's LOL, I couldn't have said it better. Im married to a ISTP for too long and I need to get out of it before someone truly shows the dirt over my otherwise vital life. Ughhhggghh

You said it sister (not verified) says...

Exactly the same here, and so this. Towards the end it was a soul crushing existence doing nothing but the same old, same old and barely having a real deep or exploratory conversation. Borderline deaf mute, I tell you. All about the money to the penny (government employee bureaucrat accountant for work...and pleasure...couldn't get enough of maintaining his perfect FICO and managing his 401k with a vengeance). Good on paper, not so much in real life. I edge out and test on the official MB as ENTP (low on the T) and ENFP on other assessments. 

You said it sister (not verified) says...

This was supposed to be attached to the reply of the first commenter (?)

Sargon (not verified) says...

Reliable, loyal and kind - excellent. You can make a lasting alliance with her on the condition that you are in charge, being an intellectually superior male. She should greatly complement your weaknesses.

Imagine two ENTPs together - useless hahaha. No one could withstand a combined verbal assault from two ENTPs that live together hahaha. They'd be closed in a room and debate 'till dyeing form hunger and stuff.

That you may not find her intellectually stimulating isn't necessarily bad since you will be forced to seek it outside which is always good for ENTPs. Seriously, I (ENTP) have a wife (INFP) that understands me and that is great, but it means that I am almost content with that and push old and new other people away because of that (who needs those dummies). This is very bad for ENTPs.

Anyways don't make the mistake of pushing a person that loves you away. Consider this: everyone is imperfect and so are all partnerships. By breaking one and forming new you add to this imperfection. By far the most important thing in partnerships is an alliance of unconditional love for one another.

ENTP on Mars (not verified) says...

I'm so glad I found this forum. I hope you still feel your relationship is worth keeping. My wife took MB when we were only dating ~20 years ago and we learned we were near exact opposites (she ISTJ, me ENTP) just like you. My idea of a great getaway is a lot of activity where I can meet tons of people. Her idea? Sitting on a patio with cold juice and breathing slowly and deeply. We have a great marriage, wonderful kids, and see the world completely differently. When I go through my episodes where the non-ENTP part of my job frustrates me, she reminds me that it's not going to be like this forever. But then again, it all depends on the person, as every personally type can present different traits. We were blessed to find each other... I only wish that we'd met years earlier so we could have experienced more of life together than we have already.

UmmJosiah (not verified) says...

Nope.. I disagree with everyone except your first reply, and it has nothing to do with her being an istj... if you aren't really sure about a commitment, you are constantly going to be debating and measuring the value of it and that will drive you crazy and cause problems for everyone. Explore- I am kind of needy and codependent, and will always find a girl that will take care of me and help me do the terrible tedious shit I hate to do, but it's never right- it gets so boring so fast. Explore. Taste a bit of everything. Learn to do shit for yourself and take care of yourself. If you find someone you're sure about... well you won't be posting in here for advice.

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