Hi everyone, INFP male here. I have a problem: I recently discovered I have a romantic interest towads an ESFP, but really have no idea how to handle the question. I would like some help, and I thought asking here was a good start :).

We know since a lot of time (4 years to be precise), but never really had any interest in knowing each other until one or two months ago, when we got to talk better. I discovered we had more in common than I actually thought, and after a few days ended up falling in love for her.

What is the best way to make my intentions clear? And what should your man do to conquest you?

Another question: I don't know how to interpret her attitude towards me now anymore.
I don't understand if she is trying to send me signals or if she is just acting kind, like with everyone. For example, last night we were at a party, I was with my friends and she was with hers.

At a moment, she asks me if I wanted to dance with her, and I obviously accept (even if I barely know what a dancer looks like, let alone know how to dance). After half song, however, she backs up and goes to her friends (it was disco music, so we weren't stricly in contact), leaving me as confused as it sounds like.

It seems to be a constant: at some times, she seems to have interest in me, but after a few minutes she cuts it.
What do you honestly think this attitude means? Is she trying to send me an unspoken message, or is it all in my immagination? And in the second case, what am I supposed to do?

Thanks for reading thus far. I know I written a lot, but I am really helpless ^.^


Guest (not verified) says...

Most likely she likes you and is just trying to be cool and mysterious. If she has long conversations with you over text or calls then she may have an interest as for some reason technological talking is annoying.
INFPs are usually super interesting to me and I imagine it would be the same for other ESFPs as we are soooo naturally curious about people (and since y'all are so mysterious as well).

There is a small possibility that she may just view you as a friend but that is hardly likely if you talk a lot and relate to each other and she isn't already in another relationship.

Tell her how you feel directly and in a cute way, most likely if she didn't think of you before, her brain will make her consider you (especially if you're cute or even mildly good looking even in a unique way )

If she claims not to like you back, (hardly likely considering your comment and the nature of esfps) then that can be easily rectified by acting chill like if it were only a mild crush in the first place and then easing up on the conversations for the next week or two (only replying if she messages first) then when things get back to normal, be your cool self but a bit cooler and trust me, she will be considering you in her brain.

All that being said, since y'all seem to be friends and you have lots in common and she is initiating dancing with you, if you are, even in a nerdy or weird way good looking, she likes you. (esfps are Se so we appreciate even unconventional cuteness but at the same time, some level of cuteness at all is important)

Waliyulah Olayiwola (not verified) says...

I am talking as an ESFP now. ESFPs love to make people happy and then feed off the positive vibe emanating from those people.

We have and we show genuine interest in people which is why we make good first impression. 

However, when it comes to commitment, most ESFPs suck at it. I suck at it. Relationship that will require me to be on calls for hours. Or relationship where my partner will compel me to commit myself with text messaging and calls and all other traditional method of forming relationship,  I feel cornered. And so I quickly look out for the nearest exit to get the hell out. 

If this lady engages you with the manner you mentioned, then be sure you're special to her. Ask her how she feels about being a romantic partner with you. She's likely feeling the same way. So, go for it,  man up and ask her. 


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