Everything was right, as expected. I was on the path of achieving my goals, my plan was excellent (as always). Boom! Love happened. Saw this girl plenty of times and from her looks i could sense that she liked me. But she was playing the coquette (those who read the art of seduction will understand better). I knew i was fucked, i continued to go thru my plan for a few more weeks but eventually i gave up. My thoughts were exhausted from creating scenes in which i was around her. With her being my dominant thought, every other plan and goal faded away slowly, and she became my ultimate goal. But  the irony is that now she was completely ignoring me and to make the matter worse, she was flirting with other guys. From badly fallen in love and having really high hopes and plans with her i went straight to heartbroken. My dreams were crushed, and for the first time i didn't achieve my goal, it was a double stab. The thing is that I still can't get her out of my mind, so it's like a ghost-broken-dream-goal that somehow gives me irational hopes that are against my logical analysis, and this crap is driving me nuts, she trapped me emotionally, and i don't like being played around like this. I've been contemplating in my room for 2 days now, didn't even glimpsed outside the window. After some mental breakdowns and rageful rants i concluded that emotions are a curse for your plans and achievements and psychopaths and sociopaths are blessed for their ability to see matters as they purely are, without being manipulated by the toxic influence of emotions. Feeling are a trap, these last 2 days taught me that, the more you try to understand and put these emotions logically the more you get trapped. Too many loopholes, irational motives and endless confusion that's what you'll find when rationally decomposing an emotion. Maybe other types handle these kinds of situations better, but for my fellow INTJs i got one advice: don't follow skirts, or at least not when following a plan/goal. 


Scenario Manoeuvrer says...

It's actually normal to feel betrayed like this my friend, I've been going through this situation for quite sometime now, and I may have a solution for your never ending spiral of regret. You have 2 solutions : - Preparing yourself to talk it out rationally, and informing her about your feelings (but you need to show her you really are serious and passionate about it). -Analyse her personality, get to know which type she is, then draw her in slowly by being a gentlemen or whatever trait attracted her about you. Be careful, you don't want her to think you're flirting with her or she'll back off. If both solutions didn't work for you, then this will give your mind a logical reason to move on from all that drama, and make you suppress the feeling of regret, of not achieving your goals by pursuing another one that odds aren't in your favor !

Patrick Harvill (not verified) says...

If she don't want to go, forget her. Next.  Let go of that delusion.  Go for a run.  I'm INTJ-A, high in "E" and "F" resulting in some different results at times. May be easier for me than some INTJs but obsession is not the way.  If she ever would want you, it won't be because you are needy and obsessed.  Clear your mind of delusions about things that never were.  Look at her objectively.  Probably somebody as good for you down the street. Good luck!  Better to flake than stalk.

INTJ girl (not verified) says...

I am an intj girl and I see where you are coming from. Yes, I agree that emotions are toxic to achieving well established plans. But really, you should take some action instead of comtemplating in your room for two days. Thoughts with no action is as good as nothing. At the end of the day, you end up with nothing but your imagined heartbroken self. It does not make any sense that you should feel played around, because there is nothing between you and her as is and she is free to flirt with other guys. You should let her know of your feelings, delivered in genuine, serious tone the way you feel about her. If she doesn't accept your feelings, you should then assess all possible effective solutions for you to move on and go on with your life without her. There are about 3,500,000,000 more women out there. 

boudoir INTJ (not verified) says...

I am INTJ/47/F and I know exactly what you mean. However, as it is not happening to me at the moment, I can analyse your situation more clearly as my mind is not clouded by all the daydreams, the many potential futures that you have played out in your mind, not only over those two days but in the days leading up to the event.

She is most likely completely unaware of what you have gone through, she probably still likes you but had to move on because her mind is different and won't stick to one plan (i.e., attracting you) for as long as you needed to make up your mind. When you finally did, and of course for you this was 100% and all your thinking focussed on her, she simply didn't think anything would ever happen between the two of you. 

Go and talk to her. But don't bombard her with your feelings and analyses - just talk and spend some time together. If she was attracted to you before, it is highly unlikely that this is all gone now.

Creanovativenigma says...

Dude, we INTJs get misunderstood alot.  Of course I'd say go and talk to her, but that's me being a hypocrite, but then again when we do finally get the guts to do so, yaay applause for us. INTJ female here and crap like this does happen and it freaking messes up our plans. We like to be in control, plan the next steps, approach everything methodically and logically, but something we absolutely cannot control is the muthapissin feels! It creeps up on you and takes you by surprise. 

Who knows though.. Maybe she misunderstood you thinking you weren't interested by not taking the initiative, but then again we tend to think alot and keep to ourselves so why not do the opposite for once ;)

Good luck! 

If you were already successful (seeing that I've commented on this a few months late), then good for you!

If things haven't started rolling for you yet, get on it. Whether you decide it's continuing your goals or pursuing the girl.

If not, I'm sorry, but keep in mind that there are so many other girls in the world out there. You may not have to seek one out because maybe she'll seek you out. Just focus on what you have to do right now and that feeling of accomplishment is the best feeling in the world. Our accomplishments is our pleasure.

INTJ Female (not verified) says...

Ugh. I feel you. I'm a businesswoman, I don't believe love is 'enough' in a relationship, but I'm f***ed now by the illusion and the one who brought it upon me was an ENFJ. My works got distracted, and its frustrating when I'm being honest I hurt his feelings bla bla bla but still I'm caught in 'feelings' because he trapped me in his 'feelings'. How the fuck does make sense idk. Hell i don't. I'm starting to hate love (in a relationship tho) cause it's just something you can't calculate for exact results. It's driving us insane. But well we can't live without it as well. So its okay bro, you got plenty confused friends who experienced the same shit of love, just don't overthink it cuz its just gonna hurt you. Its unthinkable, just accept the truth that love can fuck u up, but for the next time just don't let feelings get in he way too much. I'm sorry of i can't be really helpful cause i myself can't really understand how love works, why it's so hard to maintain, and why it always hurt so much (even tho being failed at subjects we think our bests hurts the same, but at least we could get logical reasons from it lol, but love? Nah. F***ed up puzzle...)

Annonymous says...

Emotions are not evil, but they definatly arn't nice.  I'm an INTJ and yea, relationships are difficult, but to chase a girl you can't approch properly, I have to say is very stupid. 

Don't blame love, blame yourself.  Sorry man.   

Share your thoughts